Cut contact or not, or what?

Crissco

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Hey all. Advice needed here.

Long story short I have been talking to this girl for 2 years now. Note, we never met. We put eachother in the friendzone when we first started talking. I honestly thought it would just fall off but it didn’t. We talk almost everyday. She has been through so many ups and downs with me in the past two years. With my drinking issues, all the way to living in a sober house now. I know all about most of her life, met her brother, parents, friends, co workers. All of that. It’s practically like we are together. But not.

At first I was casual with it, cool. Then as time went on I started to develop some feelings for her. But she’s a bit wild so I know logically I can’t date her, also the distance thing is big for me. As time went on also she got sick of me, I got sick of her. We tell each other but it’s almost like an addiction in itself. She calls me everyday after work and sometimes we talk for about 3-4 hours. I’m planning next year to visit her in her country. But thing is I’m not sure how I generally feel.

She’s really hot, but a bit wild and I know logically it won’t work long term. I get jealous of other people she tells me about, and she gets low key jealous when I mention other girls. She has the power here I know it. Shes less attracted to me than I am to her. I see it. I want switch it around like it was. I said to much left no mystery. My life was a mess and I used her as as tampon. What would you guys do this situation? Keep it going, end it? Tell her I like her(She has no idea, I pulled it off as just friends)..etc?

**I know how this sounds, i know this sounds like a beginner question but I’m serious here, my feelings got in the way and it was a choice I made when I met to keep the friendship going given we didn’t meet.

Sorry for the long text /vent
 

BackInTheGame78

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I mean...it will be very difficult to change that into anything other than maybe a few bangs when you go meet up with her.

She knows too much about you seems like she isn't overly interested in anything more than using you for attention.

Either way when you are with her you should amping up the sexual talk, jokes, grabbing her ass, etc...

Treat her like a piece of meat...she thinks you are the typical nice guy, she needs to see an extreme other side of you to balance that out
 

Crissco

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I mean...it will be very difficult to change that into anything other than maybe a few bangs when you go meet up with her.

She knows too much about you seems like she isn't overly interested in anything more than using you for attention.

Either way when you are with her you should amping up the sexual talk, jokes, grabbing her ass, etc...

Treat her like a piece of meat...she thinks you are the typical nice guy, she needs to see an extreme other side of you to balance that out
Thing is I do at times. I mix it up. I literally called her a wh*re at times haha. I hate even being like that but we bash eachother. But in the end we always go back to being good friends. We do argue at times, but after a day she calls me. She’s hot and gets a lot of attention and shows me. But in the end I’m the one talking to her / FaceTiming her for hours each day.

I’m going to meet here in a year when I’m out of the sober house and have more money. We planned it out for next year. It’s going to be a bit of a roller coaster ride for me emotionally. It is tough I’ll admit it, but I think doable.
 

Agamemnon43

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She is a chat buddy you can talk with because you don't have enough real people to talk to. And that's fine if it makes you feel better. Unfortunately, she can never be anything more than that.

Also, i don't believe she is hot. She probably wouldn't have been wasting time talking to a stranger every day for two years if she was.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Your currency is your attention and validation.

You gave yours away. You cannot put a price on that now.

Make the next woman earn your attention and validation.
 

Barrister

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How did you meet this woman? Also, why do you feel like this is worth the investment in your time for someone you have never met and likely will never have anything more with than being some long-distance buddy?

Use your time to improve yourself or at a minimum find women close by who can offer you more. And by more I mean sexual gratification. You have given this woman 2 years of validation with no return. Time to move on and use that energy elsewhere IMO.
 

The Duke

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Misery loves company! You both sound like you have issues. Codependent, needy, insecure.

You need to get your life in order, better things to worry about than women.
 

BaronOfHair

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Hey all. Advice needed here.

Long story short I have been talking to this girl for 2 years now. Note, we never met
That was a fatal error. Avoid treating women you have designs on like pen pals or/therapists in the future
 

Crissco

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Yes I know my faults we literally friendzoned each other. But honestly we just argued again. Shes pissing me off lately. She’s way too into her self, can’t admit when she’s wrong, blames me for things, gaslights, hypocritical. I know I’m not perfect and do certain things like that too. I’ll admit it. But I’m at the point of ending contact after 2 years and not meeting her. It’s too much of an emotional roller coaster for me. I can’t handle it right now being sober and being in my vulnerable state.
 

Crissco

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It’s tough for me to be honest though. We FaceTime most days, and get along well. I know I’m being irrational and acting out of emotion when I say I’ll cut her off. It’s a lot to handle yes but I don’t want to regret it if I do. Because if I cut her off there will be no speaking to her again I know that.
 

nelysses

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Hey all. Advice needed here.

Long story short I have been talking to this girl for 2 years now. Note, we never met. We put eachother in the friendzone when we first started talking. I honestly thought it would just fall off but it didn’t. We talk almost everyday. She has been through so many ups and downs with me in the past two years. With my drinking issues, all the way to living in a sober house now. I know all about most of her life, met her brother, parents, friends, co workers. All of that. It’s practically like we are together. But not.

At first I was casual with it, cool. Then as time went on I started to develop some feelings for her. But she’s a bit wild so I know logically I can’t date her, also the distance thing is big for me. As time went on also she got sick of me, I got sick of her. We tell each other but it’s almost like an addiction in itself. She calls me everyday after work and sometimes we talk for about 3-4 hours. I’m planning next year to visit her in her country. But thing is I’m not sure how I generally feel.

She’s really hot, but a bit wild and I know logically it won’t work long term. I get jealous of other people she tells me about, and she gets low key jealous when I mention other girls. She has the power here I know it. Shes less attracted to me than I am to her. I see it. I want switch it around like it was. I said to much left no mystery. My life was a mess and I used her as as tampon. What would you guys do this situation? Keep it going, end it? Tell her I like her(She has no idea, I pulled it off as just friends)..etc?

**I know how this sounds, i know this sounds like a beginner question but I’m serious here, my feelings got in the way and it was a choice I made when I met to keep the friendship going given we didn’t meet.

Sorry for the long text /vent
I experienced something similar. The only difference was that the girl had no interest in me.
Actually, almost everyone here talks about being proud. In fact, @BPH might even get mad at me :D (Just kidding man I love your ideas. I think I get angry at you sometimes because you tell the truth directly... Thank you.)

But I think you should be a little more relaxed.
Make the move. If it's good, you'll be together, if it's bad, it'll be resolved :D
But I think it's better to get closer at the end of a good day and night instead of saying it directly.

If she doesn't look has interest. Just say it. Probably her reply will be negative and you will look forward.
 
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TheGambino

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2 years wasted.

3-4 hours on the phone, this means you have no life-goals-aspirations. You are too available. Unattractive.

Remove women from your life for a period of time, and get your sh1t together.
This.
 

TheGambino

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Hey all. Advice needed here.

Long story short I have been talking to this girl for 2 years now. Note, we never met. We put eachother in the friendzone when we first started talking. I honestly thought it would just fall off but it didn’t. We talk almost everyday. She has been through so many ups and downs with me in the past two years. With my drinking issues, all the way to living in a sober house now. I know all about most of her life, met her brother, parents, friends, co workers. All of that. It’s practically like we are together. But not.

At first I was casual with it, cool. Then as time went on I started to develop some feelings for her. But she’s a bit wild so I know logically I can’t date her, also the distance thing is big for me. As time went on also she got sick of me, I got sick of her. We tell each other but it’s almost like an addiction in itself. She calls me everyday after work and sometimes we talk for about 3-4 hours. I’m planning next year to visit her in her country. But thing is I’m not sure how I generally feel.

She’s really hot, but a bit wild and I know logically it won’t work long term. I get jealous of other people she tells me about, and she gets low key jealous when I mention other girls. She has the power here I know it. Shes less attracted to me than I am to her. I see it. I want switch it around like it was. I said to much left no mystery. My life was a mess and I used her as as tampon. What would you guys do this situation? Keep it going, end it? Tell her I like her(She has no idea, I pulled it off as just friends)..etc?

**I know how this sounds, i know this sounds like a beginner question but I’m serious here, my feelings got in the way and it was a choice I made when I met to keep the friendship going given we didn’t meet.

Sorry for the long text /vent

You can still exploit this. Ask her to meet up in the evening. At your place or outside, the park whatever. Then start to be cexual. Fun around, grab her hand, kiss her cheek. If she does it back try to kiss her and go on from that point. You can still do it but only if you become Cexual.
 

Crissco

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You can still exploit this. Ask her to meet up in the evening. At your place or outside, the park whatever. Then start to be cexual. Fun around, grab her hand, kiss her cheek. If she does it back try to kiss her and go on from that point. You can still do it but only if you become Cexual.
Shes in a different county man. We plan to meet next year when I go there
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Yes I know my faults we literally friendzoned each other. But honestly we just argued again. Shes pissing me off lately. She’s way too into her self, can’t admit when she’s wrong, blames me for things, gaslights, hypocritical. I know I’m not perfect and do certain things like that too. I’ll admit it. But I’m at the point of ending contact after 2 years and not meeting her. It’s too much of an emotional roller coaster for me. I can’t handle it right now being sober and being in my vulnerable state.
She should be in the emotional roller coaster. With you on the controls.

You're too emotionally invested in this girl. Too late now, find yourself another one and stay detached.
 

Agamemnon43

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Save yourself from another year of suffering and tell her goodbye. Or don't ask for advice because then this becomes just a group therapy session.

Just for context, how old are you? For real?
 

machoMax

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2 years wasted.

3-4 hours on the phone, this means you have no life-goals-aspirations. You are too available. Unattractive.

Remove women from your life for a period of time, and get your sh1t together.

I am sharing your opinion...
 
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