Had an interesting albeit disappointing date tonight

FlexpertHamilton

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Not writing this for feedback or anything, but I genuinely thought this was one of the more interesting dates I've ever been on, so here's a long story.

Met this girl on a dating app and we talked for a few weeks sporadically until finally setting something up.

We met at a really nice "lounge" style bar that has 3 floors in a very popular part of town (at my suggestion). When I initially arrived at the bar, I walk in and a female bartender calls my name and tells me my date is by her. My date was apparently friends with the bartender. Btw, she had arrived via an uber and I teased her about it - she says she had already been drinking earlier with her friends, but always takes ubers when she goes out anyway.

Before going into the details, for some quick context it's worth mentioning I was on my A-game, truly, never felt better. Confident, relaxed, decisive, sociable, observant, calibrated, yet also uncaring, almost in a flow state, never once questioned myself on what I should do next or thinking some pvssy **** like "does she like me??" - genuinely did not have any thoughts like that the entire night.

So, onto the girl. She's smokin hot. Easily an 8, but most guys would probably say a 9+ I may include pics if anyone really wants to know. Redhead, gorgeous face and thickkkkk just like I like em. Dressed like an absolute hoe, skimpy top, high heels, and a miniskirt thing that was so tight and thin that you could see the full outline of her thong from behind without even trying.

Anyway, at first I'm just chatting with her and the bartender in a cozy lounge area outside. Starts off slow and typical. But within 15 minutes, another one of her girlfriends just happens to show up with some dude and sit with us. I later determined this was probably preplanned, but she seemed to imply it was spontaneous. I actually couldn't tell if the two were on a date at first, but at some point it became clear to me it was effectively a double date. The other girl was also smokin hot: asian, pretty face, also dressed like a complete hoe, walking up the stairs I could basically see her ass sticking out of a skirt that was effectively a loincloth.

Weird thing happens though. Around the halfway mark, my date has to go to the bathroom, and of course her friend goes with her. They're gone for several minutes, easily close to ten, and you know exactly why. I talk to the guy, seems very chill, we talk about our work and lifestyles and goals, ending with a discussion about visiting Bali/Thailand and getting a work visa, due to the insanely low cost of living. The girls come back from the bathroom and say "were you talking **** about us?" jokingly. Nice projection there. Nah bitches, we did not talk about you for one second - we talked about more important things - don't you know men talk about ideas, not people? We're not like you, that's why men run the world.

But I digress. Upon them returning from the bathroom, my date seemed a bit "off" - she was just slightly less engaged but not in a particularly obvious way. And, worth mentioning that at around that midway point in the night, her friend had asked her "what time do you need to get home to take care of your dog?", which obviously has some implications. Anyway, in spite of all this, the other girl seemed even more receptive to me, and so I chose to talk to her and the guy as my date was looking kind of and withdrawn. But eventually I start teasing/flirting with my date again and we make more physical contact and things seem to be turning around. And later on, the bartender chick starts talking about the some kind of crazy vibrating suction cup toy that she introduced to them, and all 3 women start taking about how it makes their pussies sore, and then talk about porn - a very "sex positive" attitude that was a bit wild. After that whole discussion, the bartender gives them a weed pen to hit and both girls start coughing up a storm and say they're high AF. I make a joke that she's a bad influence on them.

Her friend then ask us (but really, my date) repeatedly if we all want to go upstairs to the rooftop and my date finally agrees. We go up and get a table and eventually have a moment where each respective pair has a 1-1 interaction, albeit briefly. I am sitting very close to my date and continuing physical contact, felt like I could have easily kissed her though I didn't and we all ended up leaving shortly. My date was complaining her vape pen was out of battery and wanted to go to a gas station to buy a new one (can't make this **** up). They're discussing whether to walk or drive and whatnot and I'm thinking it's a trivial detail. Well, apparently not. Upon getting outside, my date basically says something like "oh well we're this way, you have your own ride so you don't need to come with us" and then immediately follow it up by saying "nice meeting you". Don't remember which one said goodbye first, but it was very heavily implied that the night was over, or at least for me. Definitely was not a situation where saying "nah ill come with you" would end well, I could tell in my gut, it was palpable, I know when to throw in the towel. Harsh, but I had no reaction and just said "okay, nice meeting you all" and left.

I was actually a bit stunned because this seemed to come out of nowhere. I told this to my friend and his theory is that these girls where obviously complete hoes and were actually hoping for a tag team/foursome situation, but either one or both of them decided it wasn't happening. Not to sound arrogant, but it is possible that the asian girl didn't think it was on with her date (like I said, I couldn't actually even tell if they were on a date or "friends" which may say a lot), and so felt letdown that it wasn't happening , but this doesn't entirely add up because my date could have easily made the decision on her own to just go home with me. But my friend suggested that since women cannot think for themselves, this entire plan of theirs was devised together and were not capable of independant thought required to decide for themselves what they would do if their plan doesn't work. This could be true, or could be there was simply something I did wrong that I'm not seeing - for instance, it's possible I should have declined the offer to go upstairs and pull my date away and do something on our own, but that idea didn't even occur to me, which tells me it wasn't the move. Either way , I think I did as good as I could have ever expected myself to and I really can't recall a time I was more confident, sharp, and sociable on a date than I was tonight. Maybe I could have physically escalated more, but I'll use the excuse that being on a double date made it a bit weird when the other 2 weren't even flirting let alone physically touching. Anyway, I won't pretend it wasn't disappointed at the end, but ultimately I just see it as a unique experience.
 
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Bingo-Player

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How long was all this nonsense going on for ? from the way you've written it sounds like it was going on for hours

This is a textbook example of men not being able to lead decisively and over stimulated and hyper sexualised females getting bored

the bartender chick starts talking about the some kind of crazy vibrating suction cup toy that she introduced to them, and all 3 women start taking about how it makes their pussies sore, and then talk about porn - a very "sex positive" attitude that was a bit wild. After that whole discussion,
The door sounds like it was literally left wide open here to start talking about sex / fantasy / kinks / toys whatever

Instead you and this other guy decide to fumble it

wtf were you talking about with these thots ? its clear as day they were good time girls

With women like this they're far from innocent you don't need to beat around the bush they're more than aware what the score is

I would have just suggested we all go back to someones house and start playing with some toys whatever
 

FlexpertHamilton

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How long was all this nonsense going on for ? from the way you've written it sounds like it was going on for hours
All in all it was a little over 2 hours, like 2.5 at most


The door sounds like it was literally left wide open here to start talking about sex / fantasy / kinks / toys whatever
I mean, I kind of did. The entire discussion started because the other chick mentioned using a VPN and I asked why she needed one, and she said it was so access porn as it is restricted in my state to which I asked more about. At first they poked at me for acting like was not be an avid porn viewer (when in fact, I'm not) and I don't think it occurs to these bitches that not all guys are porn addicts and certainly not hedonistic like them. So I actually had to make it seem like I did in fact consume lots of porn because I knew they wouldn't believe me in a million years otherwise. Then the whole discussion of their fav sex toys started to which I interjected and asked them what it was/how it worked etc and teased them about it. I probably could have escalated it further and asked about kinks and whatnot, but given I have no kinks and honestly don't give a **** what their kinks were, it didn't occur to me, but in hindsight that would have been the play even if I feigned interest the entire time. Btw the other guy basically said nothing during that entire exchange other than quietly laughing.


wtf were you talking about with these thots ? its clear as day they were good time girls

With women like this they're far from innocent you don't need to beat around the bush they're more than aware what the score is

I would have just suggested we all go back to someones house and start playing with some toys whatever
Just random ****. It was strange. I didn't know if that other guy was their friend, or some rando the other girl had just met, and in fact I still can't even say with certainty he was on a date, I have no idea. It was just a strange dynamic. I've been on 1 on 1 dates with hoes like that before, and yeah, I know you can be direct and escalate quick without preamble, but in this case her friend was simultaneously gassing her up to stay out later while also ****blocking in a roundabout way - but yes, I could have led the two, and possibly at the exclusion of the other guy (or at least forcing him to go along with it) - I really do think they had some kind of 4way thing in mind originally, which btw, I would never do in a million years with another guy.

Honestly though the biggest problem was that my libido really wasn't there that night, and in my experience when my libido is null it simply makes everything more difficult. When I have no sex drive I only view things like sexual escalation in a logical way as something i should probably do rather than genuinely desiring to and it absolutely is a problem in cases with hoes who just want to smash.

Also, she did text me this morning and said she had a good time and the reason they left is they got cravings for McDonalds after hitting the weed pen. Who tf knows. I'm rusty, and I forget that hedonistic, nympho women like them actually exist en masse and how you need to guide and stimulate their ADHD brains and treat them like a living sex toy to capitalize on things.
 
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Bingo-Player

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If you weren't really down for ONS then it's no great loss as these women are not at all suitable to date or show any level of respect too

The whole thing just reads to me like there were 2 thots looking to get laid and 2 guys looking to provide dating / boyfriend experiences

It was a clear mismatch in intentions that's why it felt so wierd for everyone

the girls were probably wondering why tf they got dressed up like Sloots just to be treated like ladies :rofl:
 

FlexpertHamilton

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If you weren't really down for ONS then it's no great loss as these women are not at all suitable to date or show any level of respect too

The whole thing just reads to me like there were 2 thots looking to get laid and 2 guys looking to provide dating / boyfriend experiences

It was a clear mismatch in intentions that's why it felt so wierd for everyone

the girls were probably wondering why tf they got dressed up like Sloots just to be treated like ladies :rofl:
I didn't get a "hoe" impression whatsoever before our date. And lame excuse maybe, but since she was already sitting down at a bar counter when I arrived, I didn't actually get a good look at her whole outfit until the night went on (I didn't even look their direction once when they went to the bathroom) and I didn't realize even realize they were 100% hoe until I was behind then on the staircase and I was like, jesus christ. In fact it was so crazy I probably could have just smacked or groped her ass right there and she wouldn't have minded. But my mind just wasn't there...I started looking at these two women like clowns instead of **** toys like I should have.

Frustrating to me because when I assume the girl is a hoe she's not and when I assume she's not a hoe, she is. I didn't even bring condoms with me. It's like you gotta just be as neutral as possible and have zero expectations, easier said than done though.
 
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zekko

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Maybe since she got an early start, she passed her "alcohol window" and started to come down, so she wanted to bail - go have some McDonalds and then crash.
Also, since she knows the bartender, maybe she's something of a regular there, and it really was just a coincidence that the other couple that she knew showed up. Or maybe it wasn't. Like you say, you never know. Anyway, like I always say, any interaction where you don't make a fool out of yourself is a success lol.
 

BackInTheGame78

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As soon as that double date situation started I would have told them to have a nice night and told my date to feel free to contact me when she isn't entertaining her friends.

I'm never down for any of that silliness, it doesn't even matter to me if I could get laid. I feel it's disrespectful to me and if this is how our first interaction is going to start it needs to be checked immediately or else it will only get worse from there.

Seems like you did the best you could under the circumstances after getting thrown a curveball, but obviously something was off with whatever they talked about in the bathroom.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Frustrating to me because when I assume the girl is a hoe she's not and when I assume she's not a hoe, she is. I didn't even bring condoms with me. It's like you gotta just be as neutral as possible and have zero expectations, easier said than done though.
it helps to use a consistent system when screening that will suss out reveals and tells before the meet. Also, redheads = bad news (low compliance generally).
 

FlexpertHamilton

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it helps to use a consistent system when screening that will suss out reveals and tells before the meet. Also, redheads = bad news (low compliance generally).
yeah, screening is kind of my biggest sticking point now. i really don't know how i could have seen this coming though



As soon as that double date situation started I would have told them to have a nice night and told my date to feel free to contact me when she isn't entertaining her friends.

I'm never down for any of that silliness, it doesn't even matter to me if I could get laid. I feel it's disrespectful to me and if this is how our first interaction is going to start it needs to be checked immediately or else it will only get worse from there.

Seems like you did the best you could under the circumstances after getting thrown a curveball, but obviously something was off with whatever they talked about in the bathroom.
Yeah, tbh I think I was naive because they made it out to be spontaneous, and like I said I'm still not quite sure they were on date but at this point I have to assume so. I actually was going to ask the guy if he was on a date with that girl when they left, but he talked first so I didn't get a good chance. I would never go on a date with a girl that purposely shows up with her friends but a double date for some reason registered in my head as something different.

Whatever, learning experience for sure. And we're still chatting so maybe something can happen but i'm probably gonna grill her about it if I see her again.

Also: one silver lining, but I did seem to get on the bartenders good side, so if i bring a new chick there it might be a nice bit of social proof and we can **** about this girl for pulling that in front of my new date
 
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BaronOfHair

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With women like this they're far from innocent you don't need to beat around the bush...
And not communicating lucidly and directly is the trademark of a dithering child, not an emotionally and intellectually sound man
 

FlexpertHamilton

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And not communicating lucidly and directly is the trademark of a dithering child, not an emotionally and intellectually sound man
communicating what?
 

BaronOfHair

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communicating what?
Your thoughts, needs, and desires. The entire OP was just a verbose way of saying: "I met up with this broad I wanted to do, and she brought along a friend and her boyfriend. I'm disappointed that I walked away empty handed"
 

FlexpertHamilton

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our thoughts, needs, and desires. The entire OP was just a verbose way of saying: "I met up with this broad I wanted to do, and she brought along a friend and her boyfriend. I'm disappointed that I walked away empty handed"
My desire was actually just to get out of the house that night and be social; that date was planned 3 hours beforehand out of the blue and i only agreed to it for the hell of it, i wasn't even in the mood to have sex or anything

They only thing I could have done is ask if it was a double date but i didn't even care either way.

I was honestly more disappointed not b/c we didn't **** but because I was having a good time in general and it abruptly ended out of nowhere and that I didn't see coming. I was geniunely enjoying the socializing aspect

I definitely could have had a better sense to recognize what was happening sooner and get my date to come with me somewhere else even though that wasn't really my explicit goal. Wanna know somethin fvcked up but I didn't even get so much as a semi the whole night
 
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Agamemnon43

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Wait, you were enjoying the socializing aspect of two thots' company, but not the thought of rearranging her guts?
If she was an HB8+ as you said, and dressed like that, I don't know how I would've held myself from trying to *uck her right there on that couch.
Also, why did you j*rk one off that day? Sounds like you weren't horny enough.
 

SW15

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That date wasn't good. The other couple showing up and turning it into a double date ruined it.

Would it have been possible to venue change as soon as her friend showed up? You need that private one-on-one time, especially with something app arranged.

With the way she was dressed, she seemed DTF that night. Anything other than first date sex seems like a disappointment here.
 

Bingo-Player

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As soon as that double date situation started I would have told them to have a nice night and told my date to feel free to contact me when she isn't entertaining her friends.

I'm never down for any of that silliness, it doesn't even matter to me if I could get laid. I feel it's disrespectful to me and if this is how our first interaction is going to start it needs to be checked immediately or else it will only get worse from there.

Seems like you did the best you could under the circumstances after getting thrown a curveball, but obviously something was off with whatever they talked about in the bathroom.
Problem is by the sounds of things it wasn't sold to OP as a double date but rather a chance encounter

You can't just get up and walk off in this situation you just come off as a sulking child

I will always play the hand I am dealt and OP and the other guy were actually dealt a decent hand here

Two chicks whom by the sound of it both wanted pumping

It could have led to a nice foursome which are always fun because at some stage you will swap holes
 

BackInTheGame78

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Problem is by the sounds of things it wasn't sold to OP as a double date but rather a chance encounter

You can't just get up and walk off in this situation you just come off as a sulking child

I will always play the hand I am dealt and OP and the other guy were actually dealt a decent hand here

Two chicks whom by the sound of it both wanted pumping

It could have led to a nice foursome which are always fun because at some stage you will swap holes
But you know that's bullsh!t.

Because if it was a chance encounter they would say hi and then go on their own way and not hang out all night.

And yes I can do whatever I want.

If you want to allow other people to dictate terms then you can, I don't.
 

SW15

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Also, why did you j*rk one off that day? Sounds like you weren't horny enough.
I agree with this. No porn and no masturbation is an excellent attraction and seduction practice. Not masturbating is going to help with escalations on first dates and help for pushing for same night sex from a bar approach.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I agree with this. No porn and no masturbation is an excellent attraction and seduction practice. Not masturbating is going to help with escalations on first dates and help for pushing for same night sex from a bar approach.
This has no bearing on anything.
 

Agamemnon43

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This has no bearing on anything.
For many guys it absolutely has. However, I know friends who are horny even if they rip it off 3 times that day.
For everybody else, it's super helpful to be "full". Wish i knew this back in highschool and college when i was a jerkboy beta with no libido.
 
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