better to get sure thing date or date that you're more comfortable with?

[PlatoPacks23]

so there's a date/activity/spot I do that generally leads to good results and at least a make-out w a chick and future dates.. however I'm not 100% sure at the moment woman I'm into is up for it at this point


I mentioned a different activity we could do that she seems a lot more open into.. but would also include dinner most likely (based on location) and I just am not good at dinner dates esp seeing how you can even escalate on them.. and then you just end up waiting till end of date? hmm

so what would people go for? this is more of an odds vs. success things I guess... I think it's possible I just go for the fist activity and if she makes excuses give it a few weeks then try again for option 2 .. but am unsure right now

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You don't have this 'leading' part down, do you?

You do fun stuff. She's invited to join you, but if she doesn't, no problem.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

You don't have this 'leading' part down, do you?

You do fun stuff. She's invited to join you, but if she doesn't, no problem.

no I dont lol

ok good call, I'll just play it by ear then

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'll just play it by ear then

Just do the stuff you enjoy and let her be part of that. If she doesn't like it, she's not a good match anyway.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Just do the stuff you enjoy and let her be part of that. If she doesn't like it, she's not a good match anyway.

good point! I do like her though and want to go with something I feel comfortable with "dating" wise

but your overall point I understand

she also hasn't responded to my other text as of now lol so might not be in the cards anyway

and if there is low interest ^ I might just go w the option more likely to get her out and see where it goes

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I only go out when there is high interest, otherwise it's a waste of my time.

The overal point is that I will do my own fun things and she can come or not.

For instance, I will go on a motorcycle ride and she can ride with me. Because I might like her company. If she doesn't like to ride with me, she's unsuitable anyway, because motorcycling is part of my life. And if she wants to be part of my life, she will have to accept the other parts of my life. Motorcycling, martial arts, my kids, my privacy.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

I only go out when there is high interest, otherwise it's a waste of my time.

The overal point is that I will do my own fun things and she can come or not.

For instance, I will go on a motorcycle ride and she can ride with me. Because I might like her company. If she doesn't like to ride with me, she's unsuitable anyway, because motorcycling is part of my life. And if she wants to be part of my life, she will have to accept the other parts of my life. Motorcycling, martial arts, my kids, my privacy.

well this is like a social circle/class situation where I see her a few times a week.

I semi asked her schedule this week and she said she was busy bc of 4th of July things and getting back on track

so most likely gonna wait a week or two and then see, or see where her head is at

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP if she drinks and isn't down for a drink date, move on.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

well this is like a social circle/class situation where I see her a few times a week.

I semi asked her schedule this week and she said she was busy bc of 4th of July things and getting back on track

so most likely gonna wait a week or two and then see, or see where her head is at

You don't see where her head is at, you feel where her body is at. Kino is your preferred litmus test.

Were you able to get a sense of what degree her openness to your activity date idea was due to the likelihood of a free dinner?

Are there no cool activity dates earlier in the day that would end around happy hour and not dinnertime?

Summertime heat can make daytime activity dates problematic, but summertime heat also makes women horny so your prospects ideally shouldn't be difficult ones this time of year.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

OP if she drinks and isn't down for a drink date, move on.

I personally dont love drink dates bc I lose control of my bearings lol

 

[PlatoPacks23]

You don't see where her head is at, you feel where her body is at. Kino is your preferred litmus test.

Were you able to get a sense of what degree her openness to your activity date idea was due to the likelihood of a free dinner?

Are there no cool activity dates earlier in the day that would end around happy hour and not dinnertime?

Summertime heat can make daytime activity dates problematic, but summertime heat also makes women horny so your prospects ideally shouldn't be difficult ones this time of year.

I never mentioned the "free dinner" but the activity I mentioned briefly she seemed super into (but not ideal for kino etc).

I'm almost just not the type to hook up on a first date.. just a comfort thing for me

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Just do the stuff you enjoy and let her be part of that. If she doesn't like it, she's not a good match anyway.

to expand further on this.. the activity that I suggested is something I like to do ON DATES but not necessarily in my free time/by myself.

Whereas the other activity is something I do on a daily basis, but is not very "date appropriate" imo

 

[Agamemnon43]

Don't bend too much trying to find a venue or activity that you think she will agree with the most. She will smell the insecurity.

About the first place you've mentioned, I think the key is how you suggest it. It has to be natural or it will trigger her alarm. (Of course, if she has high interest and is already open to physical with you, she will respond well... if not, you're out)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I personally dont love drink dates bc I lose control of my bearings lol

Don't drink on your drink dates. Stick with water.

to expand further on this.. the activity that I suggested is something I like to do ON DATES but not necessarily in my free time/by myself.
Whereas the other activity is something I do on a daily basis, but is not very "date appropriate" imo

Don't adjust your activities to accommodate her.

 

[BPH]

Strongly suggest you start learning how to handle your liquor so you can go on drink dates...

They're cheap, they're fun, they're low-stress, there's usually a dancing area where you can physically escalate a bit, and they take place at night where you can transition into something more intimate if the date is going well.

As opposed to dinner where you have to spend enough, get a reservation, end up full and unsexy afterwards, probably not get any action unless there's a lot of chemistry, and be placed in the bucket of guys she can hit up when she wants to be spoiled.

Dinner dates are reserved for women I'm dating or have been regularly f***ing for a while.

I've been on one "date" that I can remember back when I was a freshman in college, and I remember it because of how annoyed I was with it. Asked the girl out, took her out to this nice little froyo place. I was broke, so paying both ways and spending several hours with her only to get some light pecking by the end of the night was very disappointing to me.

If a girl is interested, she won't really care where you go or what you do, within reason.

 

[Canadian_Man]

You're overthinking this OP.

The better approach has already been given earlier in this thread.

Go with whichever date idea you personally prefer, and stop trying to accommodate her.

... and if there is low interest ^ I might just go w the option more likely to get her out and see where it goes

Bad idea. This is what being too eager looks like.

I semi asked her schedule this week and she said she was busy bc of 4th of July things and getting back on track

... so most likely gonna wait a week or two and then see, or see where her head is at

Too much waiting, too passive.

July 4th was already a week ago

 

[PlatoPacks23]

You're overthinking this OP.

The better approach has already been given earlier in this thread.

Go with whichever date idea you personally prefer, and stop trying to accommodate her.


Bad idea. This is what being too eager looks like.



Too much waiting, too passive.

July 4th was already a week ago

ok yeah, im just going to go w the idea I prefer better.. if she doesnt like it then whatever. (so not the eager option)


not really about being passive when I know her schedule makes it less likely, .. but yeah you can quote me in a week (+ 2days from now) bc that is the absolute latest im asking her out. most likely Sunday morning or Saturday afternoon of next week

 

[Canadian_Man]

ok yeah, im just going to go w the idea I prefer better.. if she doesnt like it then whatever.

Good.

... not really about being passive when I know her schedule makes it less likely

The passive part is 'waiting and seeing', feeling it out quietly from the sidelines to look for indications from her on what she wants or on when she is free.

... but yeah you can quote me in a week (+ 2days from now) bc that is the absolute latest im asking her out. most likely Sunday morning or Saturday afternoon of next week

So you're going to wait 2+ weeks in total to ask her out again?

It seems like low interest from her at this point (e.g., no counter offer from your first attempt, her not jumping on the first suggestion you made), but, if you were going to try, sooner than later is better.

 

[Dr.Suave]

so there's a date/activity/spot I do that generally leads to good results and at least a make-out w a chick and future dates.. however I'm not 100% sure at the moment woman I'm into is up for it at this point


I mentioned a different activity we could do that she seems a lot more open into.. but would also include dinner most likely (based on location) and I just am not good at dinner dates esp seeing how you can even escalate on them.. and then you just end up waiting till end of date? hmm

so what would people go for? this is more of an odds vs. success things I guess... I think it's possible I just go for the fist activity and if she makes excuses give it a few weeks then try again for option 2 .. but am unsure right now

I would take the date/activity I feel more comfortable with, so she´s in my frame and not the other way around.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I would take the date/activity I feel more comfortable with, so she´s in my frame and not the other way around.

Tango the night away.