Dinner Dates, Coffee, and Drinks

[BadWatermelon]

I've recently taken a couple women out for drinks and/or coffee. The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me. Sometimes she'll talk to me a bit after the date and then stop.

I learned from the RP community not to take women on dinner dates, because they often use it to get a free meal. However, these days, even just getting drinks can be a $70-100 date.

It seems like women are catching on to men not wanting to go on dinner dates, so they act like the date is going well until they get what they want.

Have any of you fellas had similar experiences?

 

[Solomon]

Depending on how you meet the women 2nd dates can be tough to get after a 1st
you may think it's going well but maybe she wasn't attracted to you like that or maybe another guy got her hot. Regardless I wouldn't worry about

IMO I prefer to take women on drink dates as evening dates to me are more intimate then taking a girl for coffee in the middle of the day
Not saying it's wrong it would actually save a lot of money but I do what I do

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Coffee date $10
Active date, beach, hike $10 for gas with maybe some tacos or a burger after $40
Cook for her at your place? Priceless

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Based on the search results for major U.S. metros, here's an overview of the average costs for dinner for two with two drinks in major metropolitan areas:

1. New York City: Expect to pay around $200-$250 for dinner for two with drinks at a nice restaurant.
2. San Francisco:
   • A nice dinner for two can range from $150 to $200, not including wine and tip.
   • At high-end restaurants, the cost can easily reach $200 or more.
   • For more budget-friendly options, you can find meals for around $100-$150 for two.
3. Los Angeles: Similar to San Francisco, expect to pay around $150-$200 for a nice dinner for two with drinks.
4. Seattle: Dinner for two with drinks at a good restaurant typically costs between $100-$150.
5. Chicago: Prices are generally lower than coastal cities, with dinner for two and drinks averaging $120-$170.
6. Miami: Expect to pay around $130-$180 for dinner for two with drinks at a nice restaurant.
7. Washington D.C.: Similar to Miami, with costs ranging from $130-$180 for a nice dinner for two with drinks.
8. Boston: Prices are comparable to Washington D.C., averaging $130-$180 for dinner for two with drinks.

I like dive bars and restaurants, this is one of my local faves:

History Of Apple Jack's - Apple Jack’s Bar

No-Frills Beer at Apple Jacks Driving along the winding roads of Highway 84, through the lush green enclosure of the Santa Cruz Mountains, a relic stands untouched by the sweeping wave of modernity brought about by the tech boom in the Bay Area. If not for a small, red, illuminated sign attached...

applejacksbar.com

https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/WLE2IvQ5BzrA1Hg8GuuyWQ

or

Rossotti's Alpine Inn

Enjoy quality burgers & cold beer at Rossotti's Alpine Inn in Portola Valley, California. Founded in 1852, Rossotti's Alpine Inn is the second oldest continually operating tavern in California.

www.alpineinnpv.com

https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/alpine-inn-portola-valley

If the chick can't hang with places like that then she ain't for me.

 

[The Duke]

I've recently taken a couple women out for drinks and/or coffee. The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me. Sometimes she'll talk to me a bit after the date and then stop.

I learned from the RP community not to take women on dinner dates, because they often use it to get a free meal. However, these days, even just getting drinks can be a $70-100 date.

It seems like women are catching on to men not wanting to go on dinner dates, so they act like the date is going well until they get what they want.

Have any of you fellas had similar experiences?

You aren't doing something right. You likely don't stimulate their mind and give them tingles ( v ). Its about creating a connection. Your version of "goes well" is obviously different than hers if she doesn't go out with you again. If you found them online, then maybe you dont look like your pictures. Only you would know that.

Your problem isn't drinks/coffee, instead of dinner. Its YOU!

Explain the typical date....topics of conversation....how often she talks.....do you lead the conversation.....what sort of depth.....kino.....body language....?

 

[Clockwerk50]

What are you guys talking about during these dates? What frequency and what do you text them? Where are you meeting these girls? How forward are you?

If she likes you you could take her to McDonald’s and she would continue being receptive towards your advances.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me

The outcome of every battle has already been decided, at least partially, BEFORE it's actually been fought https://www.shortform.com/blog/ever...r to set the,resources and your forces wisely.

As Duke has asked: Share with us where you met these two gals, and what on what criteria you selected them

 

[BaronOfHair]

And what you talked about.

Getting a woman to go on a a date is not that hard, but making the date memorable enough to warrant more dates and a deeper investment on the woman's part apparently is harder than most guys can handle.

Getting a job interview or an audition isn't especially tough. Acing that interview or audition does require savvy, practice, and mental grit though

 

[BadWatermelon]

You aren't doing something right. You likely don't stimulate their mind and give them tingles ( v ). Its about creating a connection. Your version of "goes well" is obviously different than hers if she doesn't go out with you again. If you found them online, then maybe you dont look like your pictures. Only you would know that.

Your problem isn't drinks/coffee, instead of dinner. Its YOU!

Explain the typical date....topics of conversation....how often she talks.....do you lead the conversation.....what sort of depth.....kino.....body language....?

Well, most recently, we ended the date by making out.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Man, I feel for you if you live in a place that it costs $70-100 for drinks.

It's no more than $30 for 2 drinks each here, which is the limit on a first date for me and that's when I even drink, which much of the time I don't.

Although I haven't been on a date in over a year now since I have a GF, but I can't imagine prices have gone up that much over that amount of time.

Either limit the amount you drink or find low cost dates like walking/talking in a park and then ice cream or mini golf/ice cream and let them know that's only if they promise to behave themselves.

If a woman likes you it doesn't matter what you do on a first date or how expensive it is. If she doesn't like you then it doesn't matter either.

 

[Chow Mein]

Think of it as investing in a plate. $100 on a first date isn’t that much in my city, maybe 6 drinks or a decent dinner for 2. I go out on first dates 3-4 times a month so it’s not too bad.

Being in a nice venue and staff that knows you help a LOT to get a second date. Most of the time, they offer to split the bill, but I usually tell them to take care of the next one.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Well, most recently, we ended the date by making out.

Which was a good omen in 1994, but not 2024.

Don't make out unless you're sure she's open to fooling around or is wet. Kiss and pull away.

You have to get them heated up somewhat before the date, this is the key in my experience.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Think of it as investing in a plate. $100 on a first date isn’t that much in my city, maybe 6 drinks or a decent dinner for 2. I go out on first dates 3-4 times a month so it’s not too bad.

Being in a nice venue and staff that knows you help a LOT to get a second date. Most of the time, they offer to split the bill, but I usually tell them to take care of the next one.

There is 0 chance I am spending $100 on a first date. No reason to at least not if you don't live in a big city where drinks cost $15-20 each which is ludicrous.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Based on the search results for major U.S. metros, here's an overview of the average costs for dinner for two with two drinks in major metropolitan areas:

1. New York City: Expect to pay around $200-$250 for dinner for two with drinks at a nice restaurant.
2. San Francisco:
   • A nice dinner for two can range from $150 to $200, not including wine and tip.
   • At high-end restaurants, the cost can easily reach $200 or more.
   • For more budget-friendly options, you can find meals for around $100-$150 for two.
3. Los Angeles: Similar to San Francisco, expect to pay around $150-$200 for a nice dinner for two with drinks.
4. Seattle: Dinner for two with drinks at a good restaurant typically costs between $100-$150.
5. Chicago: Prices are generally lower than coastal cities, with dinner for two and drinks averaging $120-$170.
6. Miami: Expect to pay around $130-$180 for dinner for two with drinks at a nice restaurant.
7. Washington D.C.: Similar to Miami, with costs ranging from $130-$180 for a nice dinner for two with drinks.
8. Boston: Prices are comparable to Washington D.C., averaging $130-$180 for dinner for two with drinks.

I like dive bars and restaurants, this is one of my local faves:

History Of Apple Jack's - Apple Jack’s Bar

No-Frills Beer at Apple Jacks Driving along the winding roads of Highway 84, through the lush green enclosure of the Santa Cruz Mountains, a relic stands untouched by the sweeping wave of modernity brought about by the tech boom in the Bay Area. If not for a small, red, illuminated sign attached...

applejacksbar.com

https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/WLE2IvQ5BzrA1Hg8GuuyWQ

or

Rossotti's Alpine Inn

Enjoy quality burgers & cold beer at Rossotti's Alpine Inn in Portola Valley, California. Founded in 1852, Rossotti's Alpine Inn is the second oldest continually operating tavern in California.

www.alpineinnpv.com

https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/alpine-inn-portola-valley

If the chick can't hang with places like that then she ain't for me.

There is no reason for a guy to be taking a woman he doesn't know out to a restaurant on a first date, especially not at those prices.

Unless they like flushing money down the toilet or playing Russian Roulette with having be uncomfortably stuck with someone you have no interest in and THEN have to pay a huge bill even tho you know it's going nowhere.

Nice dinners are for GFs only and once in awhile when they earn it.

I'd rather invite them over and cook with them...much easier to transition from food to sex.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It's no more than $30 for 2 drinks each here, which is the limit on a first date for me and that's when I even drink, which much of the time I don't

One can find economical prices like those at swell venues in every city in The US, IF he's willing to dig around for them. Alas, most folks these days are content to groan over how much better everything allegedly was back in (Insert decade), instead of getting on with the business of creating fulfilling lives in the world we currently have

 

[Bingo-Player]

Heavily pre planned first dates can be very very hit or miss , especially if you don't know the person and the the date has been arranged via swipe app or social media which most tend to be

You have two total strangers meeting and engaging for the first time theres a level of pre built expectation usually for men its physical does she match her photos

For women its more is he going to make me feel XYZ

I've turned up to swipe app dates and been met with a variation of a woman I wasn't expecting I usually know its not going anywhere yet I am now stuck for an hour or two on that date

I suspect its much the same for women

Conversely I've cold approached girls in bars and almost had on the spot mini dates that have gone exceptionally well

I think once you apply any level of expectation to anything when it comes to dating often it will fall to absolute ****e

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Heavily pre planned first dates can be very very hit or miss , especially if you don't know the person and the the date has been arranged via swipe app or social media which most tend to be

You have two total strangers meeting and engaging for the first time theres a level of pre built expectation usually for men its physical does she match her photos

For women its more is he going to make me feel XYZ

I've turned up to swipe app dates and been met with a variation of a woman I wasn't expecting I usually know its not going anywhere yet I am now stuck for an hour or two on that date

I suspect its much the same for women

Conversely I've cold approached girls in bars and almost had on the spot mini dates that have gone exceptionally well

I think once you apply any level of expectation to anything when it comes to dating often it will fall to absolute ****e

Which is why it should be low key and something you can get away from within 15 minutes if things don't go as expected.

 

[holidayad_]

I've recently taken a couple women out for drinks and/or coffee. The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me. Sometimes she'll talk to me a bit after the date and then stop.

I learned from the RP community not to take women on dinner dates, because they often use it to get a free meal.

When I joined this community almost two years ago I did not know what I know today, so I made the mistake of taking a woman out to dinner on the first date.

Coincidence or not, she was the only one who didn't make it to the second.

I've also taken another girl out for drinks on a first date and she kept talking about leaving and going to a Japanese restaurant across the street.

In this case, I realized that she was looking for a free meal. I ruled it out.

However, these days, even just getting drinks can be a $70-100 date.

Last week I went for drinks with a chick which was the most expensive date I've had so far.

4 drinks (2 for each) + an appetizer = 60 euros.

It depends on the spot.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

What do you talk about? Well if you know anything about her you pick subjects you know she’s interested in, if not you ask questions. On my last initial date we talked about working out, what we do for them etc., kids, tattoos, she asked to see mine which required lifting up my shirt to see a few (which she loved and traced them with her fingers . We talked about her new car, about music, I asked if she liked to dance, we talked about tequilas, we talked about beaches and surfing, live music…you know like a normal conversation, normal people have.

If you’re a troglodyte and you don’t know how to even keep a conversation alive you have no business trying to date chicks, you’ll fail 99/100 times. You need to be a renaissance man as they say, be knowledgeable enough about many subjects to hold a conversation thread, be passionate about something, be mysterious and playful. In order to be these things a man has to develop his knowledge, read classics, be an expert at interesting things, and smile a lot, try it, it’s contagious.

Oh and know the inside jokes about many things, women love to laugh.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Which is why it should be low key and something you can get away from within 15 minutes if things don't go as expected.

which kind of defeats the point of a date you're better off saying

" hey I am going to XYZ on XYZ do you want to come" then if it goes wrong you can just make an excuse and leave

I dont think the " are you free on XYZ day for us to do dinner drinks whatever " works at all