1) How a good husband learn how/when to use "dread" and make a women feel negative emotions without damaging his stoic self?
Use attention and validation as currency. Never give it for free. A woman who doesn't try to please you, doesn't deserve attention and validation, so bad behaviour should have consequences. One of these consequences is to
deliberately withdraw attention and validation, so she knows she can get attention and validation again when she ceases the bad behaviour.
As a man, you lead by establishing mutual consent and boundaries, like you would in a kink relationship. Dread comes automatically when she worries about crossing your boundaries and having to face the consequences. If one of those consequences might mean you walking away from the relationship, she will do her best not to cross your boundaries. Same if the consequences are the loss of attention (which might go to another woman who pleases you more).
However, this is more about your
ability to walk away or withdraw attention than about actually having to walk away. Only walk away or withdraw attention for multiple days if her transgressions are significant, but if you can get her to 'toe the line' by reminding her gently that she's pushing you away with her negative behaviour, she will respect you more than if you just walk out during an argument. One reason women don't argue with me, is because I will stop the argument before it starts, mostly by withdrawing my usual warmth and kind tone of voice and asking her if she really wants to face the consequences. If a woman isn't worried about crossing your boundaries, she's not worried about losing you.
Sometimes, she will get close to your boundaries to test if they're still there. It's your task to be alert for these tests and confirm to her that the consequences for bad behaviour are still in place and to apply these consequences if she crosses the boundary, even by a little bit. And you will be clear in communicating that you're basically putting her on a 'time-out' and ignore her for a set time. During that time, she will have to notice the void left by the withdrawal of the attention.
If you're usually inattentive, your deliberate withdrawal of attention will feel like you increased your inattentiveness. So when she's on her best behaviour, lavish her in attention and validate her efforts, so the consequences of bad behaviour are extremely noticeable and create an emotional reaction of sadness / dejection. This is the emotional rollercoaster.
2) How a men can recognize if a women is more prone to have the negative or the positive emotions in her spectrum?
If you're asking how to recognise whether a woman has a negative or positive perspective on life; positive women tend to smile more and are less argumentative. Bratty women have a more mixed perspective but are still susceptible to a positive approach. B!tchy or whiny women have a negative perspective and often too dissatisfied with life to be LTR material (unless you like nagging wives).
