How Do Women Feel When Sex Doesn't Happen? Salvageable?

[jamesfromhouston]

Hello DJs.

Found myself in a novel and surprising situation recently..

Met a 9. Super sexy. Amazing to spend time with. High IL from her! Also very freaky girl because of some kinky heavy make out sesh on all our previous dates.

Recently on our 3rd date, we ended up at my place after a night of drinking together. Of course, you know what happens next.

Long story short, we ended up in my bed and I was proceeding to smash but oddly, I just couldn't get hard. (I suspect it's a combination of drinks and maybe nerves, although I don't think I was consciously nervous. I was leading the entire time.)

We tried several times to go to poundtown, but I could only achieve a mediocre erection for really short and bland sex that just did not last long because I could barely maintain it. Of course I pleased her with other stuff but the girl was visibly affected and dejected in the end because of the erection issue. Eventually we called it a night despite her numerous attempts to get it going for me, somehow I just couldn't perform. She asked me what's wrong, I told her it was the drinks.

This has not really happened to me before. Feels like ****. Usually the girls I've smashed, commend me for the experience but now this new girl is seemingly disappointed.

I don't really know how to proceed from this. Is it a lost case?

Should I hit her up again? Or just wait.

I am just wondering generally how do you guys usually recover and handle a situation like this.

 

[BeExcellent]

First, thank you for your candor in sharing this because it happens to guys more than you might think. And my guy friends tell me it's often not age related.

Is it salvageable? Tough to answer that. Has she been in touch? Have you reached out? The longer it sits with no contact the more weird it will feel to her. So break the ice & hit her up. You do this to see what she does. If it's crickets or the run around? It's toast. If she's receptive/cool and interested in getting together again?

At that point you gotta shake off what happened, get out of your head, and just be cool & chill. Tease her if you get the chance. Let her titilate you & seduce you.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Most women that have experiance know this happens on occasion.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've heard they make pills for this.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Either this was an off night, or you have ED.

Its all good either way, tho.

Like @Bible_Belt just said, they have pills for this.

Get you some.

They work .

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

It's perfectly fine to not being sexually aroused every day for a man, if your D decided not to work it wasnt because the pipes malfunctioned but cause the supervisor decided to keep the valve close.

And unlike the owner of the platform (you), the supervisor (the brain) knows when the plant should and should not work.

In my opinion you were just tired from the date or simply enjoying the relax more than further action (it happens to every man except sosuave users which among the many things are unstoppable sex machines).

Regarding the contact, if you like her I would suggest you to schedule an other date asap...she got naked in your bed so I believe there is enough interest to skip the planning and go straight for the date.

The things is that you will probably be under pressure to perform and just as a psychological insurance, those pills may be a good idea to keep around.

 

[SW15]

Women are not going to be very tolerant of this, especially younger women.

If you met this woman through the use of a swipe app, realize that she has hundreds of men pursuing her. She can easily drop you for the next guy if she thinks that guy can get a good erection.

If you met her in-person in a nightlife venue and she's not an app user, she'll still likely be in demand.

If she's an attractive woman in the 8+ range, most men aren't struggling to get erect for her.

This is going to be a difficult thing for you to overcome. If she has strong interest in you in general, she might be willing to give you another chance. You're not well positioned right now to get a 4th date with her.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

First of all. Thank you everyone that replied and offered your thoughts.

Update: ended up smashing the girl recently!

Her IL was probably quite high as she agreed to meet me again.

I think it was really just nerves. I just tried my best to focus, be in the moment and really enjoy it and eventually everything worked.

We had some crazy monkey sex too. So all was good in the end.

 

[SW15]

Her IL was probably quite high as she agreed to meet me again.

You were fortunate that her IL was high enough for that to happen.

ended up smashing the girl recently!

We had some crazy monkey sex too. So all was good in the end.

Good for you for getting sex and having it be good sex. Keep smashing that pussie!

 

[BaronOfHair]

Hello DJs.

Found myself in a novel and surprising situation recently..

Met a 9. Super sexy. Amazing to spend time with. High IL from her! Also very freaky girl because of some kinky heavy make out sesh on all our previous dates.

Recently on our 3rd date, we ended up at my place after a night of drinking together. Of course, you know what happens next.

Long story short, we ended up in my bed and I was proceeding to smash but oddly, I just couldn't get hard. (I suspect it's a combination of drinks and maybe nerves, although I don't think I was consciously nervous. I was leading the entire time.)

We tried several times to go to poundtown, but I could only achieve a mediocre erection for really short and bland sex that just did not last long because I could barely maintain it. Of course I pleased her with other stuff but the girl was visibly affected and dejected in the end because of the erection issue. Eventually we called it a night despite her numerous attempts to get it going for me, somehow I just couldn't perform. She asked me what's wrong, I told her it was the drinks.

This has not really happened to me before. Feels like ****. Usually the girls I've smashed, commend me for the experience but now this new girl is seemingly disappointed.

I don't really know how to proceed from this. Is it a lost case?

Should I hit her up again? Or just wait.

I am just wondering generally how do you guys usually recover and handle a situation like this.

My 3 cents


Worry less about how women(And everyone else, for that matter) "feel"* about anything, and focus more on setting concrete, tangible goals, then crafting viable strategies for achieving them. As you've written, booze doesn't do a fella's hydraulics any favors... In the future then, it's likely wise to go easy on the intoxicants/avoid them altogether so that you can function as man**, on those evenings you suspect things are going to get steamy

And once a dude has graduated from middle school, it's highly advisable for him to start speaking and writing in Standard English... Talking here about replacing "sesh" with "session", and replacing euphemisms like "smash" and "going to poundtown" with "Have sex", or even "F-ck". The fact you began The OP with the words "Found myself in a novel and surprising situation recently" testifies to your clearly having the capacity to formulate mature sentences and thoughts. Do so more often

*What you're really pondering here is a woman's perception and opinion of you, and how both might shape her behavior, not her emotions. Recognizing that makes it possible to then

-Acknowledge that, while you can influence such things, you cannot ultimately control them

-Decide whether or not you desire her enough to make the effort required to influence her perceptions and opinion of you

-Go about doing so, if the answer to the prior question is "Yep"

** 1:33-1:57

 

[BackInTheGame78]

First of all. Thank you everyone that replied and offered your thoughts.

Update: ended up smashing the girl recently!

Her IL was probably quite high as she agreed to meet me again.

I think it was really just nerves. I just tried my best to focus, be in the moment and really enjoy it and eventually everything worked.

We had some crazy monkey sex too. So all was good in the end.

She honestly was probably worried you didn't find her attractive and that something was wrong with her as to why you couldn't perform...

Good to hear you tore that ass up properly

 

[jamesfromhouston]

You were fortunate that her IL was high enough for that to happen.
Good for you for getting sex and having it be good sex. Keep smashing that pussie!

Thank you! Yes I think I was! So we went for a quick dinner after hooking up and she admitted that she initially thought I was not interested in her and she was quite disappointed that I couldn't pull through in bed. I guess I should consider myself lucky that the IL meant a second chance to set things right. I guess to answer my own thread and the primary question I had; women get disappointed if the first hook up fails for whatever reason but if they have enough IL for you, there's probably another (or several more) chances after that. Sounds obvious in retrospect.

My 3 cents


Worry less about how women(And everyone else, for that matter) "feel"* about anything, and focus more on setting concrete, tangible goals, then crafting viable strategies for achieving them. As you've written, booze doesn't do a fella's hydraulics any favors... In the future then, it's likely wise to go easy on the intoxicants/avoid them altogether so that you can function as man**, on those evenings you suspect things are going to get steamy

*What you're really pondering here is a woman's perception and opinion of you, and how both might shape her behavior, not her emotions.

Great advice dude. I used to think that drinks provide Dutch courage to get things on the road but reflecting back to the times that I had drunken sex, it was mostly a **** experience. Felt woozy and just don't move right.

She honestly was probably worried you didn't find her attractive and that something was wrong with her as to why you couldn't perform...

Good to hear you tore that ass up properly

Yes. She was originally worried that I didn't find her attractive enough. She took it personal. In the end, I think it was all performance anxiety.

Is it salvageable? Tough to answer that. Has she been in touch? Have you reached out? The longer it sits with no contact the more weird it will feel to her. So break the ice & hit her up. You do this to see what she does. If it's crickets or the run around? It's toast. If she's receptive/cool and interested in getting together again?

At that point you gotta shake off what happened, get out of your head, and just be cool & chill. Tease her if you get the chance. Let her titilate you & seduce you.

Your advice ultimately helped! I did throw aside my pride and hit her up. And I did exactly that, I took my head out of the moment and just tried to enjoy the moment. That really helped.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

On another note, something I would like to ask the 'no-fappers' here on SS.

How does no-fap affect performance anxiety?

Does anyone have experience?

 

[The Duke]

Send her over to my place, She won't be disappointed.
Maybe Know your stud horse a little better next time. Get him some help. Geezus. Pathetic..

You sure you she was a 9? Lol. Not buying it.

 

[BadBoy89]

Met a 9. Super sexy.

If a 9 is Super Sexy, what is a 10?

Amazing to spend time with. High IL from her! Also very freaky girl because of some kinky heavy make out sesh on all our previous dates.

Laying it on a little thick here bro.

Recently on our 3rd date, we ended up at my place after a night of drinking together. Of course, you know what happens next.

No what?

We tried several times to go to poundtown, but I could only achieve a mediocre erection for really short and bland sex that just did not last long because I could barely maintain it. Of course I pleased her with other stuff but the girl was visibly affected and dejected in the end because of the erection issue. Eventually we called it a night despite her numerous attempts to get it going for me, somehow I just couldn't perform. She asked me what's wrong, I told her it was the drinks.

You have to food with drinks. Otherwise you will get light headed and faint.

This has not really happened to me before. Feels like ****. Usually the girls I've smashed, commend me for the experience but now this new girl is seemingly disappointed.

OK, so:

- You have trouble with a Super Sexy 9/10 girl who is very freaky.

- You have no trouble with a average overweight 5/10 girl who just lies there.

Rock on!

I don't really know how to proceed from this. Is it a lost case?

Should I hit her up again? Or just wait.

Wait for what?

I am just wondering generally how do you guys usually recover and handle a situation like this.

When we have trouble with Super Sexy and freaky 9/10 girl, we usually tell her to "get uglier". You know, put on some weight, cut hair short, don't dress nice, and don't be freaky. That usually does the trick.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi James,
Don't sweat,it's small Potatoes,If you weren't over anxious it was either that you were tired or it was the grog....I tend to the thought,that it was the latter.The Immoral Bard said of alcohol in Macbeth,that it adds to the attraction but detracts from the performance....Suggest you take the little blue pill next time....That will put an erection on a plaster Saint!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

On another note, something I would like to ask the 'no-fappers' here on SS.

How does no-fap affect performance anxiety?

Does anyone have experience?

It's irrelevant. Get in elite shape and none of it matters.

 

[SW15]

something I would like to ask the 'no-fappers' here on SS.

How does no-fap affect performance anxiety?

Does anyone have experience?

No porn and no masturbation (aka no fap) is one of the best practices for your seduction lifestyle.

Porn and masturbation tend to affect the mental parts of sex. Mentally, you're not as likely to get as turned on by real life sex if you're constantly seeing naked women and naked women having sex on your computer or smartphone screens. It tends to affect the dopamine receptors.

Additionally, frequent porn consumers and masturbators are less likely to do high volumes of in-person approaching to get the real life sex that might be affected by overconsumption of porn and too much fapping. Higher testosterone and horniness enables both daygame and nightgame approaching.

That said, an elite physique probably matters more. If you don't have an elite physique, no fap/no porn will be better for your seduction lifestyle.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

It's irrelevant. Get in elite shape and none of it matters.

Could you elaborate on this?

That said, an elite physique probably matters more. If you don't have an elite physique, no fap/no porn will be better for your seduction lifestyle.

You raise a similar point to the reply above m. Why does elite physique matter more and is there a particular benchmark to what elite physique is? (Like a certain bf %) or is it subjective?

 

[Travel memoir21]

Do you masturbate and watch Porn?

If you do, that might be causing it. Exercise Self discipline and practice No Fap.