Woman at work mentioned I was in her dream. Is she flirting? I want to be careful.

[foe4]

alright so I’m one of the IT people at this company. There’s a woman there who I’ve probably never spoken about non work related things, ever. Everytime I’ve helped her stuff she’s pretty much not spoken with me about things. So I never had any sort of reason to believe she’s been interested. She’s always been polite though and respectful that’s it. She’s early 40s me mid 20s

Last Friday I was helping her with something and she mentioned how she had a dream that I quit, and she sounded concerned about it. She asked me if I’m thinking about quitting and she was concerned and asked “do I need someone to speak to you”. This kinda got me off guard, cause I would never have expected such a comment from her in particular. I feel like we don’t have that type of relationship either. Like I said we only speak when I’m fixing her stuff, and we don’t speak much during that. I would never would have told her if I had a dream that she was in. Also she would be fine if I quit. Her workflow wouldn’t be impacted at all pretty much.

The following Monday she needed help with something. I went to help her, we got it all sorted and she was like “I swear if this starts working now that you’re sitting here you should just sit right next to me all the time” I was kind of looking for another sign after the dream thing and I’m not sure if this was it. Then she had another issue Wednesday and emailed me asking me if I can just sit in front of her pc so it starts magically working.

There was another girl who worked here who said I was in her dream helping her setup a TV. That girl ended up liking me.

So yeah I honestly don’t know. There’s an employee fun day this weekend and I was thinking about trying to talk to her there.

I feel like before Friday I never really got any signs from her. And I would have never suspected a dream comment from her in particular.

I have not flirted once with her, I just act professional and make a joke here and there.

 

[BaronOfHair]

alright so I’m one of the IT people at this company

She's not flirting with you. Nor is any other woman in the office

 

[Steno]

The following Monday she needed help with something. I went to help her, we got it all sorted and she was like “I swear if this starts working now that you’re sitting here you should just sit right next to me all the time” I was kind of looking for another sign after the dream thing and I’m not sure if this was it. Then she had another issue Wednesday and emailed me asking me if I can just sit in front of her pc so it starts magically working.

The quoted parts I would interpret as flirting, but the part about her dreaming that you had quit did not seem like anything flirty. You should playfully flirt back like "I'm starting to think that your purposely messing up your pc so that I can sit next to you, and I low-key like that". Just lightly and playfully play along and see how she responds and if you notice any discomfort then say you were just kidding. If she plays along then she prolly wants the D.

 

[foe4]

The quoted parts I would interpret as flirting, but the part about her dreaming that you had quit did not seem like anything flirty. You should playfully flirt back like "I'm starting to think that your purposely messing up your pc so that I can sit next to you, and I low-key like that". Just lightly and playfully play along and see how she responds and if you notice any discomfort then say you were just kidding. If she plays along then she prolly wants the D.

Yeah I wasn't really sure how to interpret the dream thing when it happened. It was just weird coming from her and she's the only the second person here to tell me that, and probably before Friday was one of the least I would expect that from. I'd never say something like that to her even if I had a dream about her.

When she needs help I will help her and try to gauge the situation better. I was planning to make a comment on maybe moving her desk closer to mine so I can keep a closer eye on her, and see how she responds to that.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Foe,
Oh yes no doubt about it,she has you in her Gun Sights...But think it through...Do you really want a 16+ years older Woman?....That is before you consider her being a colleague,it's a dangerous game to play...But you need friends so play along with her,"Hell hath no fury,like a Woman scorned!"

 

[pipeman84]

The following Monday she needed help with something. I went to help her, we got it all sorted and she was like “I swear if this starts working now that you’re sitting here you should just sit right next to me all the time” I

This could be interpreted as flirting.
But considering she's +40yrs old and until now she's always been professional in relationship to you, I see 2 possibilities:
- she feels you're more familiar, therefore she says stuff that could be interpreted as flirting, but it's not. Just friendly banter between 2 employees.
- something happened in her personal life recently and she sees you as a potential toy-boy she can use to prove to herself she's still attractive.
My advice is to act professionally and don't encourage any real or perceived flirting because it's a lose-lose situation for you. Not only from an employment perspective, but also as a man ... it's emasculating to be a toy-boy.

 

[foe4]

If the dreams were about being intimate with you, that would be a signal, but all these women dream about is you fixing their sh!t.

They want you as a Friend with Benefits, but not sexual benefits, more like someone to call when their fridge starts making weird noises.

You're just handy to have around when things need fixing. Women like men who can fix things, but that doesn't mean they want to fvck the plumber. That's a porn fantasy, not real life.

well idk what the dream was about cause I didn't ask. but she just said I quit and she sounded concerned and then asked me if I'm thinking about quitting. Then asked if she wanted someone to come speak to me so I don't quit. I just told her the place would go up in flames if I quit and she laughed and agreed.

I've always fixed her problems quick, so why would she need to try to suck up to me when I did it without her barely speaking to me?

She is probably the most attractive woman at the company and I would have never expected her to say that I was in her dream no matter what the dream was about.

I don't think me and her ever had a real conversation outside of me fixing her stuff. Which is why I would never tell her she was in my dream no matter the context.

There is a work event this weekend, so maybe I will be able to judge better there.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I don’t think she likes you or has any attraction for you. Why would she?

I sometimes flirt with the old ladies at work. I tell them something along the lines of “you never call me anymore, you don’t text me anymore. You forgot about me. Etc”. It doesn’t really mean I want to take my pants off and bang them.

 

[foe4]

I don’t think she likes you or has any attraction for you. Why would she?

I sometimes flirt with the old ladies at work. I tell them something along the lines of “you never call me anymore, you don’t text me anymore. You forgot about me. Etc”. It doesn’t really mean I want to take my pants off and bang them.

eh I guess we will see. I’ve dealt with many people here and I know that isn’t a normal thing to say.

ive had women here squeeze my arm and call me babe and didn’t think they were into me. From what I understand the ones who actually flirt seem to do it in subtle ways.

 

[Clockwerk50]

eh I guess we will see. I’ve dealt with many people here and I know that isn’t a normal thing to say.

ive had women here squeeze my arm and call me babe and didn’t think they were into me. From what I understand the ones who actually flirt seem to do it in subtle ways.

I believe the workplace environment is a place where both sexes can banter with each other without the pressure of anything serious happening. I think this woman is striking her ego by catching your attention and then she goes home and says to herself “I still got it”. This is from the information you post it. I might be wrong.

Do you like her? How are you going to gauge her interest level?

 

[foe4]

I believe the workplace environment is a place where both sexes can banter with each other without the pressure of anything serious happening. I think this woman is striking her ego by catching your attention and then she goes home and says to herself “I still got it”. This is from the information you post it. I might be wrong.

Do you like her? How are you going to gauge her interest level?

i don’t give her special attention. When she puts in a support ticket asking for technical help or emails me directly it’s part of my job to help the people here with those things. I havent done anything for her that she could stroke her ego with.

Well there’s a work event tomorrow. There is going to be a lot of people though so I might not be able to gauge it there.

if she needs help again I will mention that she should move her desk closer to mine so I can keep an eye on her, and then I will see how she responds. Or just try starting small talk with her in the break room.

 

[Clockwerk50]

i don’t give her special attention. When she puts in a support ticket asking for technical help or emails me directly it’s part of my job to help the people here with those things. I havent done anything for her that she could stroke her ego with.

Well there’s a work event tomorrow. There is going to be a lot of people though so I might not be able to gauge it there.

if she needs help again I will mention that she should move her desk closer to mine so I can keep an eye on her, and then I will see how she responds. Or just try starting small talk with her in the break room.

Usually people will tell you the best way to gauge her interest level is to ask her out outside work hours. Actions have more weight than words, and her telling you this stuff, again, could be workplace banter. (I think the dream thing weird to be honest. Nothing sensual about it.)

I hope you are talking to more women. Talking to more women would give you a clearer perspective on this situation instead of hamstering things in your head that don’t really exist.

 

[foe4]

She was not at the event today, damn. Or i left too early. Will have to talk with her at work I guess then

 

[BaronOfHair]

Will have to talk with her at work I guess then

Because moving on to a new chick would make life entirely too simple

 

[Tilex]

I don't think that lady is flirting at all.

You know what I think?
I think she's really lazy and doesn't like working. Every time her PC needs maintenance, she gets a break from doing her job.
Small talk with you delays her from working even longer.
Makes me wonder if she's really qualified to do her job.

Does she work for the public or private sector?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe ask her if she sucked your d!ck in her dream and if she could fit it all in her mouth?

 

[foe4]

Because moving on to a new chick would make life entirely too simple

I’m not matching a woman on a dating app that looks like her. That being said, I’m still on Facebook dating. But I want to go get away from apps entirely and meet people in other ways that doesn’t involve being online. Like hobbies or meetups.

I don't think that lady is flirting at all.

You know what I think?
I think she's really lazy and doesn't like working. Every time her PC needs maintenance, she gets a break from doing her job.
Small talk with you delays her from working even longer.
Makes me wonder if she's really qualified to do her job.

Does she work for the public or private sector?

She seems pretty competent, she doesn’t need help often.

well that’s why I ask others for advice. Cause i will probably just leave it be unless she makes a move. At work environments I feel like the woman probably has to take more of a lead cause of what could go wrong for men.

 

[BaronOfHair]

But I want to go get away from apps entirely and meet people in other ways that doesn’t involve being online. Like hobbies or meetups.

Now(By which I mean "The Present Day") is the ideal time to begin