What factors contribute to men becoming overly emotional in a negative manner?

[jhonny9546]

In today society, What factors contribute to men becoming overly emotional in a negative manner, and how could men could become men really?

For example, a smartphone made me addict to use that 5 hours a day.
I switched to a dumbphone, and I know average 30 minutes a day (which is all calling, texting).

Is there something in this society which is triggering and shaping our behaviour to become more emotional?
If yes, could we do something to eliminate it, like I've done with the dumbphone?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

In today society, What factors contribute to men becoming overly emotional in a negative manner, and how could men could become men really?

Lack of emotional self-control

For example, a smartphone made me addict to use that 5 hours a day.
I switched to a dumbphone, and I know average 30 minutes a day (which is all calling, texting).

You mean a device made you an addict? External locus of control and lack of personal accountability. You made yourself an addict to a smartphone, and then blame the device. If you had emotional self control, you could limit your smartphone usage without having to resort to changing tech to force you to limit yourself.
Still, it's better than just throwing up your hands and remaining in a negative situation.

Is there something in this society which is triggering and shaping our behaviour to become more emotional?

Yes, the media. Media tries to make everything emotional, because if you form an emotional connection you're more likely to get hooked and the media can use your addiction to sell advertisement space.

 

[Plinco]

In today society, What factors contribute to men becoming overly emotional in a negative manner, and how could men could become men really?

First you have to know that emotions are involuntary. What you do with them however is in your control.

If you are easily having negative emotions, then that points to poor mental health, as a result of not doing what you need to be doing with your life.

The solution: First you have to know what you want in life, and second, you need to be holding yourself accountable to your goals and act on them. Men who are successful are not just selfish, but intelligently selfish. Poor mental health in your adult years is a result of being ineffective.

 

[obelisk]

Lack of education about emotional reactivity, what it is and how to combat it. It's not a skill set that is taught in education in any way. Most people have not spent any amount of time engaging in mindfulness practices to observe and understand their own thoughts, emotions and triggers. Social media and other dopamine triggers make people alexithymic over time as well so they are utterly blind to what is even occurring.

 

[zekko]

Is there something in this society which is triggering and shaping our behaviour to become more emotional?
If yes, could we do something to eliminate it, like I've done with the dumbphone?

There are a lot of things about out current culture that is damaging to people in general, and specifically to men.
One of the biggest things is our boys are not being raised right, and there is a lack of positive male role models (fathers) in many situations. Having a father in the home is not even valued by our current culture, when it absolutely should be. IMO, everything is a loss unless we suddenly decide to embrace traditional values, which is something we've been moving away from for many decades.

 

[jhonny9546]

What If I ask you guys "what you want in life" question?
What would be your answer?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What If I ask you guys "what you want in life" question?
What would be your answer?

Wisdom.

 

[zekko]

What If I ask you guys "what you want in life" question?
What would be your answer?

At my age, a long, happy, healthy life is desirable.

 

[Solomon]

Frustration and trying to measure up to a standard of success which isn't realistic (social media)
We talk about how a lot of women have been brainwashed by social media but men have as well
That's why a guy like Andrew Tate can literally come out of nowhere show you a Bugatti a bunch of hot chicks and all these (young) men are idolizing him when the reality is 95% of men will never have that life

 

[obelisk]

Crush your enemies, See them driven before you, and Hear the lamentation of their women.

Amateur hour around here on a Friday.

 

[BeExcellent]

Patience, financial freedom, levity, health.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Women are the biggest drivers of emotion in men.

They're emotional creatures and they aren't happy if you're content

Edit - unless you just had sex with them or you're doing something they asked you to do

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Lack of emotional intelligence, masculine camaraderie and not getting laid.

 

[FlirtLife]

You mean a device made you an addict? External locus of control and lack of personal accountability. You made yourself an addict to a smartphone, and then blame the device. If you had emotional self control, you could limit your smartphone usage without having to resort to changing tech to force you to limit yourself.

Most children get a smart phone around age 11. Do they need to have "emotional self control" at that age, when they start the addiction?

 

[jhonny9546]

Frustration and trying to measure up to a standard of success which isn't realistic (social media)
We talk about how a lot of women have been brainwashed by social media but men have as well
That's why a guy like Andrew Tate can literally come out of nowhere show you a Bugatti a bunch of hot chicks and all these (young) men are idolizing him when the reality is 95% of men will never have that life

Wait.. who want that life? Not me.

Women are the biggest drivers of emotion in men.

They're emotional creatures and they aren't happy if you're content

Hit so hard.

Lack of emotional intelligence, masculine camaraderie and not getting laid.

How do you get that, if you're father didn't teach this to you?

Most children get a smart phone around age 11. Do they need to have "emotional self control" at that age, when they start the addiction?

Are you with me? Those children are fkked up since their childhood.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Do they need to have "emotional self control" at that age, when they start the addiction?

Yes, they do. My kids had phones the last grades of primary school (9-12yo), but they only got smartphones after they finished Primary school and went to the Gymnasium, because of how the educational system here works with digital systems and apps. However, at my daughter's Gymnasium, the students are not allowed to have a smartphone on school grounds (not even in their schoolbag).
Then again, I'm raising children in The Netherlands and I understand that different cultures don't care about teaching children personal responsibility and accountability.

 

[jhonny9546]

Then again, I'm raising children in The Netherlands and I understand that different cultures don't care about teaching children personal responsibility and accountability.

This!
ps: do you have different children in different countries?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

ps: do you have different children in different countries?

If you're asking me: no, I am Dutch and have Dutch children, and their mother is also Dutch.

However I have friends all over the world, many of them parents, so I know a bit about different cultures when raising children. As it is, my Dutch parenting can differ a lot from other Dutch parents because I'm raising children (now teenagers) in the heart of Amsterdam, which is way different from raising children in the rural Dutch provinces.

So when I refer to different cultures, it's not specifically for other countries / nationalities. Cultures are smaller. Even within Amsterdam, there are affluent Dutch families living in the center and poor Dutch families living in the west side. Can be a vastly different culture. Like a cultural difference between Napoli and Venice while both are in Italy; not all Italian parents share the same parenting culture.

 

[FlirtLife]

Yes, they do. My kids had phones the last grades of primary school (9-12yo), but they only got smartphones after they finished Primary school and went to the Gymnasium, because of how the educational system here works with digital systems and apps. However, at my daughter's Gymnasium, the students are not allowed to have a smartphone on school grounds (not even in their schoolbag).
Then again, I'm raising children in The Netherlands and I understand that different cultures don't care about teaching children personal responsibility and accountability.

I like your reply, and hope U.S. middle schools (6th - 8th grade, age 11-13) ban smart phones. That still leaves the problem of kids who have been using smart phones since age 10. Their happiness and anxiety are much worse than earlier generations, with smart phones looking like a key factor.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I like your reply, and hope U.S. middle schools (6th - 8th grade, age 11-13) ban smart phones. That still leaves the problem of kids who have been using smart phones since age 10. Their happiness and anxiety are much worse than earlier generations, with smart phones looking like a key factor.

I don't think the situation will improve, as right now I see mothers handing their smartphones with some child games on them to their toddler in the stroller. It's like a few decades ago when parents used the television to 'babysit' the children because they were too busy or too tired to give their children personal attention. Now you see children who cannot even walk amuse themselves with tablets and smartphones, kind of 'mobile televisions' to 'babysit' them and as a result these kids learn human interaction from screens and not from actually playing with other kids. And then adults wonder why the younger generation has virtually no social skills and need to come together on a forum to learn how to interact with other human beings.