What Do You Tell Your Family?

[nicksaiz65]

The older I get, the more I seem to get these questions lol. I’m now 27, and it seems that every time I see my mom she asks me if I have a girlfriend or if I plan on getting married. (They got married at 28.)

I can’t exactly answer “I’m moving to a bigger city, doing cold approaches, making up for lost time, increasing my Laycount, and working on building up a rotation” lol.

I’d be curious what people have said when your parents(or even normie friends) ask you what you’re doing with your love life, when you’re in the position of a bachelor doing approaches and meeting women in the big city.

 

[SW15]

It depends upon the family member.

I mostly say that I don't think there's a good incentive to get married. I mention divorce statistics. Even if I had an awesome pre-nup, I wouldn't want to have a divorce damage my children.

I admit that I somewhat soften the overall message for my mom, who is more blue pill.

My mom has a brother (my uncle) who gets more of a red pill type message. Both his sons (my cousins) got divorced. He saw how modern women were with his sons' divorces. He thinks I am awesome for staying unmarried and keeping my freedom.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

"Mom. Relax already. I'm enjoying life & we will have to see how it goes."

 

[nicksaiz65]

It depends upon the family member.

I mostly say that I don't think there's a good incentive to get married. I mention divorce statistics. Even if I had an awesome pre-nup, I wouldn't want to have a divorce damage my children.

I admit that I somewhat soften the overall message for my mom, who is more blue pill.

My mom has a brother (my uncle) who gets more of a red pill type message. Both his sons (my cousins) got divorced. He saw how modern women were with his sons' divorces. He thinks I am awesome for staying unmarried and keeping my freedom.

Advice from the old lady:

"Mom. Relax already. I'm enjoying life & we will have to see how it goes."

These are great answers.

 

[nicksaiz65]

This one may not be as relatable.. but as a black male I often get a lot of pushback from other black people about dating white girls. For example, every time I mention some of the white girls in Nashville to my black friends, I get told to "leave those white girls alone" lol.
I spent some time with my family for this Mothers' Day weekend, and I jokingly brought up to my mom that it's very possible that I could end up with a white girl. She responded "if you dislike your mother and sisters that much." She's joking, but not joking if you know what I mean. Or, since I'm the only male out of my siblings, my cousin asked if I wanted my family to become white down the line lol. Things like that.

With my archetype/personality, I do attract more white girls than black girls.

Would anyone have a good catch-all answer for when people ask me if I like white girls like this? Getting into drawn out arguments with people about this is very mentally exhausting. I realize that this is a very niche subject, but I still thought I would bring it up.

Or maybe the answer is to just not give a sh*t haha

 

[SW15]

as a black male I often get a lot of pushback from other black people about dating white girls. For example, every time I mention some of the white girls in Nashville to my black friends, I get told to "leave those white girls alone" lol.
I spent some time with my family for this Mothers' Day weekend, and I jokingly brought up to my mom that it's very possible that I could end up with a white girl. She responded "if you dislike your mother and sisters that much."

Would anyone have a good catch-all answer for when people ask me if I like white girls like this?

It makes sense to me why you'd get pushback from the family on this. I would think similarly aged friends would not tell you to "leave white girls alone". It seems like your Black friends don't have interest in dating White women.

You are attracted to who you are attracted to.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

This one may not be as relatable.. but as a black male I often get a lot of pushback from other black people about dating white girls. For example, every time I mention some of the white girls in Nashville to my black friends, I get told to "leave those white girls alone" lol.
I spent some time with my family for this Mothers' Day weekend, and I jokingly brought up to my mom that it's very possible that I could end up with a white girl. She responded "if you dislike your mother and sisters that much." She's joking, but not joking if you know what I mean. Or, since I'm the only male out of my siblings, my cousin asked if I wanted my family to become white down the line lol. Things like that.

With my archetype/personality, I do attract more white girls than black girls.

Would anyone have a good catch-all answer for when people ask me if I like white girls like this? Getting into drawn out arguments with people about this is very mentally exhausting. I realize that this is a very niche subject, but I still thought I would bring it up.

Or maybe the answer is to just not give a sh*t haha

Hmm what would I say?

Either something like, "It's my prerogative." (The old Bobby Brown response.)

Or, "Superficial things like that don't matter to me." (Makes them look like they just care about looks.)

I mean the bottom line attitude is it's not my problem and I can't be worried what other people think, even family. So with a joke like your mom told, I'd either ask her to explain it or brush it off with an "I don't get what that means." If they have to explain that your dating a white girl hurts them then they'll sound pretty lame. And if they do admit that then I'd just say "I can't control how other people choose to think."

I know this stuff sounds pretty dry and not "game" like but they are the ones choosing to make half jokes so sometimes just being up front and unflinching is the best approach. (Without getting emotional.)

As for the "white down the line" comment, that's odd, most black Americans already have plenty of white in them.

 

[Macadellic]

OP,
There’s something about you, that people pick up on, that you will justify your life choices to them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

With my archetype/personality, I do attract more white girls than black girls.

Would anyone have a good catch-all answer for when people ask me if I like white girls like this? Getting into drawn out arguments with people about this is very mentally exhausting. I realize that this is a very niche subject, but I still thought I would bring it up.

Or maybe the answer is to just not give a sh*t haha

Date who you want. There’s no need to justify it to anyone.

The only concern IMO as a black man dating outside your race is if you get married can this person (and their family) accept that society will consider the child black and treat them as such. It can be a wake up call for some.

 

[The Duke]

Putting much stock in what other people think is a path to unhappiness.

Its good to listen to their opinions and advice but utlimatley you need to do what makes YOU happy, not everybody else.

My mom never liked the girl I had my best and longest lasting relationship(15yrs) with and girls I've been with that my mom really liked were not the best girls for me.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

The only ones that seem to ask me about my private romantic life is my mother and grandmother. When are you settling with a good girl?

G- A good girl. You said it. Well, when the time comes around.

But lately my mom don’t ask anymore. She knows I’m battling bigger hurdles right now.

My grandma is an OG who has seen the social climate changes from her rocking chair and she knows that they don’t make em like they used to.

The last time I introduced a girlfriend to my mother was in 2012. I just don’t introduce any piece of ass to her. It has to be a secured LTR of minimum 6 months.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I would think similarly aged friends would not tell you to "leave white girls alone". It seems like your Black friends don't have interest in dating White women.

This is a true statement. The only exception to this is my black friends who are game-aware.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Hmm what would I say?

Either something like, "It's my prerogative." (The old Bobby Brown response.)

Or, "Superficial things like that don't matter to me." (Makes them look like they just care about looks.)

I mean the bottom line attitude is it's not my problem and I can't be worried what other people think, even family. So with a joke like your mom told, I'd either ask her to explain it or brush it off with an "I don't get what that means." If they have to explain that your dating a white girl hurts them then they'll sound pretty lame. And if they do admit that then I'd just say "I can't control how other people choose to think."

I know this stuff sounds pretty dry and not "game" like but they are the ones choosing to make half jokes so sometimes just being up front and unflinching is the best approach. (Without getting emotional.)

As for the "white down the line" comment, that's odd, most black Americans already have plenty of white in them.

Insightful response. I’ll definitely try some of these out in the future.

 

[Redwood]

Don't know when, but I'll let them know if it's going well...

 

[CornbreadFed]

This one may not be as relatable.. but as a black male I often get a lot of pushback from other black people about dating white girls

Black guy exclusively dating white girls in Nashville is like living on very hard mode. I see why your friends & family disagree now. You got some hot Arab, Indian, and Latina women there that would give a decent black man a fair pitch, I would advise to expand your horizons a little. Shortly, you will realize that you were brainwashed in to chasing the subpar Becky. I can only imagine the huge amount of effort and subpar results you are getting with white women up there

But you do whatever the fvck you wanna do lol. I am just siding with your friends and family on this one.

 

[Learning Curve]

The older I get, the more I seem to get these questions lol. I’m now 27, and it seems that every time I see my mom she asks me if I have a girlfriend or if I plan on getting married. (They got married at 28.)

I can’t exactly answer “I’m moving to a bigger city, doing cold approaches, making up for lost time, increasing my Laycount, and working on building up a rotation” lol.

I’d be curious what people have said when your parents(or even normie friends) ask you what you’re doing with your love life, when you’re in the position of a bachelor doing approaches and meeting women in the big city.

You don't have to discuss anything with anyone you don't want to.

Friends or Family is the same approach.

You share and disclose information with people you want to disclose it too. If you feel comfortable talking with your mom or dad about your sexual life go ahead.

If not then don't do it.

Human beings like freedom of choice and this is what keeps healthy relationships and families alive.

 

[Slag]

I’m now 27, and it seems that every time I see my mom she asks me if I have a girlfriend or if I plan on getting married.

My Mom used to ask me those questions. She's given up now.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Black guy exclusively dating white girls in Nashville is like living on very hard mode. I see why your friends & family disagree now. You got some hot Arab, Indian, and Latina women there that would give a decent black man a fair pitch, I would advise to expand your horizons a little. Shortly, you will realize that you were brainwashed in to chasing the subpar Becky. I can only imagine the huge amount of effort and subpar results you are getting with white women up there

But you do whatever the fvck you wanna do lol. I am just siding with your friends and family on this one.

I’m down, but where does one meet these Arab Latina and Indian women?

As for Nashville women: I’ve had some very motivating successes here and there, and I’m willing to put in the work, but I will agree that the effort I’ve put in has been massive. Nashville locals can truly be the absolute worst lol.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Date who you want. There’s no need to justify it to anyone.

The only concern IMO as a black man dating outside your race is if you get married can this person (and their family) accept that society will consider the child black and treat them as such. It can be a wake up call for some.

Did the post change or something? Where is this black brotha stuff coming in?

 

[Alvafe]

don't know why you care, if you are that adamant to tell her something, just tell her you don't ever get married, there is nothing to you in it