Girls doesn't feel like a human like us

[nelysses]

hey guys
So far, many of you have seen me opening ridiculous (yes, some of them were ridiculous, in my opinion) topics on the forum. Today I'm going to ask something a little different.
I haven't had many girls around in my life. Therefore, I am still a virgin at 21 years old. Since I study at a university in a small city, it seems like it will continue for a while. I found 3-5 girls on Instagram and went on a date with 2 of them, but it wasn't the result I wanted.
After that I met Redpill and this site.
There was a time when I made 30 faps a week. Now it's more normal.

About girls Actually, everything was fine in the beginning, but now girls don't seem like people like us.
So I lost my belief that a girl has feelings, that they are also looking for a lover, that they can fall in love. Instead of just going up and saying hello to someone, I feel like I need to impress them in some way.

What can I do at this point? How can I get over this idea? Or can I get over it?
Maybe it's because I gained 25 kilos in the last 2 years, got depressed and got fat.

I saw a video on the internet "Hey, I like you".
A guy goes and tells the girls he likes them and speaks spontaneously. Actually, I'm in a very small city. My school is off the university campus and probably only a few k people live there.
It doesn't seem hard to go like this guy and tell someone I like him, but I feel like I have to do something and impress him.
When I text, I text a lot because I don't want to lose him etc..

 

[nelysses]

no ideas?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What can I do at this point? How can I get over this idea? Or can I get over it?

Stop looking for external validation.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Never dehumanize a human being. Of course women have feelings....just like men do. When you start down the path to de humanize anyone, it might make you feel better than that group in your own mind, but this is not what is occuring in objective reality.

In objective reality you are isolating yourself using the 'I'm better than (fill in whatever group)' to prop yourself up.

Quit overeating, introduce self discipline about what you put into your body and how physically active you are (eat better and work out) and stop spiraling into self defeating behaviors and be accountable. Work on yourself before you worry about women.

 

[corrector]

Maybe it's because I gained 25 kilos in the last 2 years, got depressed and got fat.

Agreed.

 

[nelysses]

Advice from the old lady:

Never dehumanize a human being. Of course women have feelings....just like men do. When you start down the path to de humanize anyone, it might make you feel better than that group in your own mind, but this is not what is occuring in objective reality.

In objective reality you are isolating yourself using the 'I'm better than (fill in whatever group)' to prop yourself up.

Quit overeating, introduce self discipline about what you put into your body and how physically active you are (eat better and work out) and stop spiraling into self defeating behaviors and be accountable. Work on yourself before you worry about women.

Actually, I'm not saying I'm better. The exact opposite. It's like, "The girl in front of me is so beautiful and I don't know what to say now."
Therefore, I feel like I have to do something extra to get it.
It's like, it's not enough to go and talk, I have to go and do something interesting.
There was a girl I liked and I searched for that "interesting thing" so hard that I couldn't talk for a long time. Now, even though the girl knows that I love her, she has a boyfriend. He probably thinks I'm the shy type or something.

Sometimes we talk and it's very sincere, sometimes she's very cold. Sometimes she speaks so beautifully that I want time to stop, and sometimes I don't feel like saying good morning. She's a bit unstable and I honestly don't know how to behave.
But as I said, while she was looking for that interesting thing, the girl found a lover.

Also yes I'm working on myself but my main problem is about sociality. I can solve other problems. my weight is because of my injury.

 

[nelysses]

Stop looking for external validation.

So how to stop that?

 

[plumber]

So how to stop that?

If this is not the most important question... is it close to the most important. Solve this; and most everything else will fall into place.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So how to stop that?

Grow up. Time to put away childish things and become a man.

 

[nelysses]

Grow up. Time to put away childish things and become a man.

A while ago I was rejected by a girl because I wasn't mature enough. But that was my destiny. How can I make a change at this point?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

A while ago I was rejected by a girl because I wasn't mature enough. But that was my destiny. How can I make a change at this point?

I don't know, I'm giving up on you. Sounds harsh, but if you don't want to change, nobody can change you.

 

[BeExcellent]

First, The girl you have a crush on now has a boyfriend. Ignore her for now. Practice talking to girls everywhere in your daily going about. You are very young. You must grow into the man you will become. Look in the search from @narcissist about 100 approaches in 100 days.

The way you change is by doing differently. You are beginning to think a bit differently but it is action that will help you transform. We learn by doing things.

A girl rejecting you should be no different that your friend or your mom saying no when you offer a cup of coffee or tea.....; it should not affect you at all.

Right now you care WAY too much what people think and sure you like this girl. She's chosen someone who took action. So go practice on people and women all around you. That is how you will learn social acumen, by doing.

If it is uncomfortable it means you need to do it that much more. People are too wrapped up in themselves to critique your every move. They are all worried about the same things you are, but from their own 'self' perspective. Take comfort in that and start talking to people around you. You need practice, that's all.

Your results will
give you confidence over time. And you will get over the awkwardness in time too.

 

[SW15]

Look in the search from @narcissist about 100 approaches in 100 days.

A journey: 100 days. 100 sets.

Yo, Don Juan's! Whats happening? Well, here it is. The title says all that needs to be said. In the next 100 days, I will do 100 sets. This does not seem like a lot and I am likely to far surpass this. But there is a caveat. The caveat is that I have to do 1 set per day MINIMUM and I MUST ASK...

www.sosuave.net

 

[BadBoy89]

I found 3-5 girls on Instagram and went on a date with 2 of them, but it wasn't the result I wanted.

What did you want.

I study at a university in a small city
There was a time when I made 30 faps a week.

30/7 = 4.28. Assuming 8 hour sleep. Classes 6 hours, 10 hours left in day. Take away 2 hours eating, transportation, misc items. 8 hours, Take away 4 hours for studying. 4 hours left. So every hour for a total of 4 hours everyday you would look at adult entertainment.

So I lost my belief that a girl has feelings, that they are also looking for a lover, that they can fall in love. Instead of just going up and saying hello to someone, I feel like I need to impress them in some way.

What can I do at this point? How can I get over this idea? Or can I get over it?

Do the same thing you did when you got those Instagram girls.

 

[handle]

The awkwardness when chatting to girls will diminish over time. Just keep doing it. You are already making good progress if you actually meet girls and get their socials. Remember: 1) you are new to this, so some awkwardness is to be expected, 2) at your age it's normal to overthink social interactions. And whatever you do, continue to prioritize your mental and physical health.

Avoid consuming too much seduction material online. Right now your goals are: have a social life, be in good mental and physical shape, meet women. If you are doing that and making progress, you don't need to read or watch anything. A lot of the stuff online (including this forum) is bitter and misguided, and there is no need to align yourself with a 'red pill' philosophy in order to be successful.

 

[nelysses]

First, The girl you have a crush on now has a boyfriend. Ignore her for now. Practice talking to girls everywhere in your daily going about. You are very young. You must grow into the man you will become. Look in the search from @narcissist about 100 approaches in 100 days.

The way you change is by doing differently. You are beginning to think a bit differently but it is action that will help you transform. We learn by doing things.

A girl rejecting you should be no different that your friend or your mom saying no when you offer a cup of coffee or tea.....; it should not affect you at all.

Right now you care WAY too much what people think and sure you like this girl. She's chosen someone who took action. So go practice on people and women all around you. That is how you will learn social acumen, by doing.

If it is uncomfortable it means you need to do it that much more. People are too wrapped up in themselves to critique your every move. They are all worried about the same things you are, but from their own 'self' perspective. Take comfort in that and start talking to people around you. You need practice, that's all.

Your results will
give you confidence over time. And you will get over the awkwardness in time too.

Actually this is my main problem. I look people in my ages. They have great bodies, good relationships some of they are married etc.
Then I look at me. I'm still like a teen. So I feel too late for everything. This isn't a problem now but after I finish university I will be tooo unexperienced.
As I wrote before, I am in a small city and my name appeared in my class. Because I move on people Now there isn't any place to meet ne people.

Before I was too excited about this girl. Now I feel too relax while talking that girl but she has bf now. Should I talk to her normally? Or should I cut off communication?
Actually We were in same class but next year we won't. So I don't know what to do. If my communication with her does not reach a certain level, I will probably never see her outside again.

 

[plumber]

A while ago I was rejected by a girl because I wasn't mature enough. But that was my destiny. How can I make a change at this point?

-Keep your grades in school as high as you can.
-If your not in a sports club, get into one you like. If it doesn't work out pick another one.
-If you don't already do it, have beer or coffee once or twice a week with a male friend. If you don't have any, find them in the sports club or team you pick, or from the interactive classes your are taking.
-self care, clean, decent threads (doesn't have to be expensive).

Do this and the problem will likely take care of itself. If it doesn't you will at least have some friends to talk about it with.