Thanks mateFirst, you have to need something else more, something beyond what you think. Focus your efforts on any field, better if one at a time. Learn, study, practice, execute, be wrong, correct yourself, repeat. Devote time. Be humble. Soon, you'll be passionate. Look to the horizon and believe in something greater for yourself, because it exists, and it only needs you to act on it.
Now, gain confidence and self-esteem naturally by being better at the work you do. Complement this naturally growing identity with external presentation. Look good, dress well. Fix your posture, value your health. Take care of your mind, body and soul. Exert, hydrate, and rest.
Now, you're better every day on many aspects. Move on to getting to know yourself better. What do you want in life? What do you hate? Consider not only your selfish opinion but also the observations of others. Communicate better, listen more, think deeper. Develop social skills by reading books and being a part of a community.
Soon, you'll earn some rewards for the work you do, so use such rewards to better yourself. It will take time, but soon, you'll be much better than you first realize.
Now, approaching girls is easy. You have something to back up your confidence, so you won't sound needy. You have something that you need more than her. Of course, you'd need her to complement your life, but you know she's just there to make your life better, not worse. You've been through hell, so you wouldn't need more of that.
Approaching is a skill, so practice, again and again. No need to escalate yet, learn more about women first. What are women like? What do women want? How do women react? Iterate. Really listen to them. Pay attention to how they act.
Soon, you'll get to decide what you want for a woman and finding her becomes easy. It'll be a coincidence, but you'll know when to act and how to act, because you've been there many times.
I like the idea, I just don't like the practibility of it.Easy. Work on getting approached by women instead. You're asking the wrong question. Flip the tables on them.
First things first..Hi everyone, I'm new on this forum and I want to approach girls without being needy so I'm hoping to get some cold approach tips
Work on your social game. Your charm.First things first..
Thanks mateWork on your social game. Your charm.
While women notice your physical appearance first, if you don't know how to converse with women, you'll just be posturing. And unless you walk around shirtless all day like an extra werewolf from Twilight, she won't see your abs and your 'muscle definition' anyway.
A few members here are gym addicts who think that having rock hard abs is going to compensate for their social inadequacies and they don't understand why women don't like them while they clearly have an Adonis Schwarzenegger body. it's good to have a fit muscular body (especially in countries with a high rate of obesity), getting noticed is only half the seduction. After you're noticed (for your muscular physique or other attributes that set you apart from the herd), you still have to make the approach, you have to know how to be attractive, and for that you need charm.
And you don't have to do 'first things first', you can work on your social charm while you work on your body and get your buckteeth fixed and finish your studies.
Don't put all your eggs in a single basket. Better be a Jack of all Trades than a One Trick Pony.
Which is why I said "first things first"Work on your social game. Your charm.
While women notice your physical appearance first
Do women sit around pondering "how can I become more charming to men. I really need to work on my conversing skills.", if you don't know how to converse with women, you'll just be posturing.
If your muscle definition cannot be seen in clothes, then you aren't hitting it hard enough.And unless you walk around shirtless all day like an extra werewolf from Twilight, she won't see your abs and your 'muscle definition' anyway.
Would any man in here turn down a woman because, despite her banging body, she wasn't charming enough?A few members here are gym addicts who think that having rock hard abs is going to compensate for their social inadequacies and they don't understand why women don't like them while they clearly have an Adonis Schwarzenegger body. it's good to have a fit muscular body (especially in countries with a high rate of obesity), getting noticed is only half the seduction. After you're noticed (for your muscular physique or other attributes that set you apart from the herd), you still have to make the approach, you have to know how to be attractive, and for that you need charm.
@UmarsidiAnd you don't have to do 'first things first', you can work on your social charm while you work on your body and get your buckteeth fixed and finish your studies.
Don't put all your eggs in a single basket. Better be a Jack of all Trades than a One Trick Pony.
Yeap, this.First things first..
Work on your body game.
Hit the gym, build muscle.
Long story short; when you cold approach, the first thing women will see is your physical representation.
Make it worth seeing.
Are you a woman?Do women sit around pondering "how can I become more charming to men. I really need to work on my conversing skills."
If you want to go that way, they will see if you're fit. You don't need to go to the gym to be fit. You can easily become fit when you change your sedentary lifestyle - stop stuffing yourself with junk food, eat healthy unprocessed meals in smaller portions, take the stairs instead of the elevator / escalator, ride a bicycle, go swim.Which is why I said "first things first"
If you walk around in a T-shirt and shorts all day, sure. Most people don't walk around in skintight outfits.If your muscle definition cannot be seen in clothes, then you aren't hitting it hard enough.
Again, you're not a woman.Would any man in here turn down a woman because, despite her banging body, she wasn't charming enough?
Probably not.
It is the same way on the flip side.
You just confirmed your ignorance.Ignore the charm stuff... work on your body game and your confidence will fly through the roof.
Now, outside of body game, another thing you can work on is your verbal seduction game.
Being able to sexually seduce women with your words may be something you can add to your repertoire.
Ask yo girl, am I a man or a womanAre you a woman?
Again, you're not a woman.
Two things can be true at the same time..you can do all of that, plus build muscle as I suggest.If you want to go that way, they will see if you're fit. You don't need to go to the gym to be fit. You can easily become fit when you change your sedentary lifestyle - stop stuffing yourself with junk food, eat healthy unprocessed meals in smaller portions, take the stairs instead of the elevator / escalator, ride a bicycle, go swim.
I don't walk in T-shirts, shorts, or skintight outfits..and STILL get compliments on my physique.If you walk around in a T-shirt and shorts all day, sure. Most people don't walk around in skintight outfits.
No, I confirmed my knowledge.You just confirmed your ignorance.
I'm more than fifteen years older than you and I get compliments for my physique. And I don't need to go to the gym because I live a healthy lifestyle, ride bicycles and go swimming several times a week. Plus I train my martial arts kata every day.I don't walk in T-shirts, shorts, or skintight outfits..and STILL get compliments on my physique.
I asked her and she said that for almost forty years old you behave like a gay boy.Ask yo girl, am I a man or a woman
Sure, whatever you say.I'm more than fifteen years older than you and I get compliments for my physique.
Good, now hit the gym.And I don't need to go to the gym because I live a healthy lifestyle, ride bicycles and go swimming several times a week. Plus I train my martial arts kata every day.
"He is gay " is what a woman will tell her man when he asks about her male "friend".I asked her and she said that for almost forty years old you behave like a gay boy.
That is the case if you are actively trying to make eye contact with surrounding women. Then if you do that, in no way will women approach you 1st.I like the idea, I just don't like the practibility of it.
I think your advice should be tweaked to..
"Work on getting IOI's from women".
Because realistically, that is the best you will get on average.
Well sadly, most men (over 90%) will go their entire lives without a single woman ever approaching them (outside of club/bar atmospheres).That is the case if you are actively trying to make eye contact with surrounding women. Then if you do that, in no way will women approach you 1st.
So if a woman does approach you, it means her IOIs failed. So you can pretend to read a newspaper and that will force her to approach you, or do nothing at all.