The biggest lesson I have learned about getting older as a guy in regards to game in this age.

[Jesse Pinkman]

I think this sort of harps on the age pill in some ways and @CornbreadFed and @SW15 might want to add their takes here. I wanted to include this because I been thinking more about life since turning 30 and am on my way to being 31. Very recently, I also did a Euro trip and had some eye opening experiences about age. There is a lot of stuff out there about age but if I had to pin it down to one lesson I have learned as a guy, it would be this.

Do not listen to any of the stuff out there because the meaning of "old" and even "adulthood" is changing right in front of our very own eyes.

Growing up in the Bible Belt, if you did not have a wife and kids by the age of 30, you by all accounts were weird. I think for a large part of the US and the world, this was the case. Marriage and kids by 30 and if you failed to do that, you somehow failed as a man or were an outsider. Thankfully, I made the smartest move in my life ever and moved the heck out of one of the most miserable regions of America.

When you listen to the internet and the direction the Manosphere has gone recently around forcing monogamy and kids and "save society from collapse by getting married and having kids", you would think life ends if you are a bachelor at 30.

However, after living in major cities and traveling the world, I have noticed that it is very common. In fact, not only are there guys who are single past the age of 30 but also guys who are single past the age of 30 and loving life.

In my Euro trip, I met a guy pushing 40 who was just killing it and brought a great vibe to the whole trip.

IMO, you really cannot go wrong with any path.

The internet and society are going to force you into monogamy, even at gunpoint. The same guys forcing you into monogamy at gunpoint will laugh once you get screwed over by divorce.

However, we are living in such a massive time of change that no one knows what the world brings 10 years from now.

No one knows what will be normal and accepted and what won't.

If I had to give advice to guys in their 20s thinking about the future, you can't predict it.

Go where you heart, soul, and your knowledge guide you.

You can be happily married in your 30s but at the same time, you can be miserable in a marriage and lose half your stuff. And the same people who forced you to get married at gunpoint will laugh at you for getting divorced.

You can be a happy bachelor in your 30s but at the same time, feel lonely and feel like you are making society collapse by not getting married and having kids.

I know I do not post as much as I used to on here but if you want to follow my journey and thoughts, see my personal blog below

Post 30 Bachelor | Substack

The dating and action-oriented experiences of a bachelor in his thirties. Click to read Post 30 Bachelor, a Substack publication. Launched a year ago.

post30.substack.com

 

[SW15]

There have been articles written about the aging seducer. Before Roosh left the seduction community, he wrote multiple articles about having a seduction oriented lifestyle as a man in his 30s.

Growing up in the Bible Belt, if you did not have a wife and kids by the age of 30, you by all accounts were weird. I think for a large part of the US and the world, this was the case. Marriage and kids by 30 and if you failed to do that, you somehow failed as a man or were an outsider. Thankfully, I made the smartest move in my life ever and moved the heck out of one of the most miserable regions of America.

Dallas is Bible Belt adjacent and the influence can be felt in this area. It is more of a thing in the suburbs of Dallas and Fort Worth. In North Texas outside of Dallas-Fort Worth, the Bible Belt feeling is more of a thing. Dallas itself feels more like a typical large American city.

In Dallas itself, marriage and kids by 30 is not expected. In the Dallas suburbs, I would be looked at as stranger for never being married. The suburbs have some divorced moms and divorced dads.

Do not listen to any of the stuff out there because the meaning of "old" and even "adulthood" is changing right in front of our very own eyes.

When you listen to the internet and the direction the Manosphere has gone recently around forcing monogamy and kids and "save society from collapse by getting married and having kids", you would think life ends if you are a bachelor at 30.

However, after living in major cities and traveling the world, I have noticed that it is very common. In fact, not only are there guys who are single past the age of 30 but also guys who are single past the age of 30 and loving life.

I agree with this.

The internet and society are going to force you into monogamy, even at gunpoint. The same guys forcing you into monogamy at gunpoint will laugh once you get screwed over by divorce.

There's a lot of hype about Millennials not getting married and Millennials not having children. While the ranks of Millennials not marrying and not having kids have grown, the majority of Millennials are getting married and having children. The bougie Millennials are having "Last Call" babies in their 30s. That's a common trend right now.

I have known several Millennials who have gotten divorced prior to their 40th birthdays. I believe some of the people I've mentioned in "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere" will end up divorced in time.

 

[MatureDJ]

I have no problem with the monogamy meme - the only problem was finding a suitable chick to wife up. I'm of the Gen-X generation with an experience much like True Force Loneliness prophet "Roller" Steve Hoca and SCOTUS Justice Brett "Kegger" Kavanaugh (especially the all-boys Catholic school horror ), that was not affected by Tinder or any other meme, but by simple demographics.

Generation X - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[BaronOfHair]

I think this sort of harps on the age pill in some ways and @CornbreadFed and @SW15 might want to add their takes here. I wanted to include this because I been thinking more about life since turning 30 and am on my way to being 31. Very recently, I also did a Euro trip and had some eye opening experiences about age. There is a lot of stuff out there about age but if I had to pin it down to one lesson I have learned as a guy, it would be this.

Do not listen to any of the stuff out there because the meaning of "old" and even "adulthood" is changing right in front of our very own eyes.

Growing up in the Bible Belt, if you did not have a wife and kids by the age of 30, you by all accounts were weird. I think for a large part of the US and the world, this was the case. Marriage and kids by 30 and if you failed to do that, you somehow failed as a man or were an outsider. Thankfully, I made the smartest move in my life ever and moved the heck out of one of the most miserable regions of America.

When you listen to the internet and the direction the Manosphere has gone recently around forcing monogamy and kids and "save society from collapse by getting married and having kids", you would think life ends if you are a bachelor at 30.

However, after living in major cities and traveling the world, I have noticed that it is very common. In fact, not only are there guys who are single past the age of 30 but also guys who are single past the age of 30 and loving life.

In my Euro trip, I met a guy pushing 40 who was just killing it and brought a great vibe to the whole trip.

IMO, you really cannot go wrong with any path.

The internet and society are going to force you into monogamy, even at gunpoint. The same guys forcing you into monogamy at gunpoint will laugh once you get screwed over by divorce.

However, we are living in such a massive time of change that no one knows what the world brings 10 years from now.

No one knows what will be normal and accepted and what won't.

If I had to give advice to guys in their 20s thinking about the future, you can't predict it.

Go where you heart, soul, and your knowledge guide you.

You can be happily married in your 30s but at the same time, you can be miserable in a marriage and lose half your stuff. And the same people who forced you to get married at gunpoint will laugh at you for getting divorced.

You can be a happy bachelor in your 30s but at the same time, feel lonely and feel like you are making society collapse by not getting married and having kids.

I know I do not post as much as I used to on here but if you want to follow my journey and thoughts, see my personal blog below

Post 30 Bachelor | Substack

The dating and action-oriented experiences of a bachelor in his thirties. Click to read Post 30 Bachelor, a Substack publication. Launched a year ago.

post30.substack.com

Bitter young guys become bitter geriatrics, who epitomize all the negative stereotypes about the elderly. Joyous, electrifying young fellas become the sort of men who are still pulling in beautiful young women, even later on in life

 

[Bingo-Player]

I turned 32 a couple of weeks ago , im having more fun now in a new city than I ever did in my 20's

I have more money , more experience , more skills , more strength and more knowledge

Ive kept myself in shape I dress well , I'm constantly sleeping with women in their 20's

I look at all my freinds who settled early and most of their lives look like hell , none of them are happy they are all stuck in the same places they grew up in with girls who have let themselves go

At some stage I know I will need to find a wife to have children with and I am kind of trying to find one but where as when I was back home I was panicking thinking I needed to settled down quickly becuase there just wasnt that many women around

Now I've left I've completely opened my eyes I realise that really theres no rush

I meet new girls every week , if they dont fit my requirements or start playing low interest games I just move on to the next

Freedom and change are a mans biggest allies in this fvcked up world we live in

 

[CornbreadFed]

I believe the ideal age range for a guy is around 28 to 36. At this stage, you're mature enough to have a stable financial base but still young enough to connect with women in their twenties to early thirties. I don't buy into the idea of a "golden age" for single men after 40, as some corners of the internet suggest.

Additionally, don't underestimate the value of college and high school for developing your social skills. Those experiences are invaluable and shouldn't be ignored.

I lived a similar lifestyle to what @Jesse Pinkman is experiencing now in my twenties, and it was fantastic. It's important to continue seeking new experiences, as they shape you into a more refined individual. However, as I reached 31, I found myself less inclined to stay in hostels or party abroad. Instead, my girlfriend and I enjoy more sophisticated activities like dining at Michelin-star restaurants, exploring foreign wine regions, tour unique locations, hiking in national parks, and other enriching experiences.

Many people trapped in unhappy marriages likely settled down early without fully experiencing life's opportunities.

 

[pipeman84]

I believe the ideal age range for a guy is around 28 to 36. At this stage, you're mature enough to have a stable financial base but still young enough to connect with women in their twenties to early thirties.

Ideal for what?
It sounds to me you're describing the ideal age for being a dupe ... stable financial base + close enough in age as to not be obvious that the late 20s, early 30s woman is with you for your beta $$.

Why can't a 60yrs old man connect (whatever that means) with an early 30s woman? And don't give me that feminist nonsense 'what do they have in common'

 

[CornbreadFed]

Ideal for what?
It sounds to me you're describing the ideal age for being a dupe ... stable financial base + close enough in age as to not be obvious that the late 20s, early 30s woman is with you for your beta $$.

Why can't a 60yrs old man connect (whatever that means) with an early 30s woman? And don't give me that feminist nonsense 'what do they have in common'

So a hot early 30s woman is going to be attracted to a near elderly 60 year old man for his personality? How cute lol.

 

[SW15]

I believe the ideal age range for a guy is around 28 to 36. At this stage, you're mature enough to have a stable financial base but still young enough to connect with women in their twenties to early thirties.

There's a decent case for this, although my range would probably be closer to 26-34. It's going to be easier to attract someone younger in the late 20s - mid 30s age range. It takes more SMV to get a large age gap and most men simply don't have enough SMV to pull that off.

The typical guy in his 30s/40s is a pussie beggar for women close to his own age. As he gets deeper into his 30s and into his 40s, this pussie beggar might end up being a childless man settling for a single mom. This happens because he can't get a younger, childless woman.

Additionally, don't underestimate the value of college and high school for developing your social skills. Those experiences are invaluable and shouldn't be ignored.

Agree on the importance of high school and college (for those that attend) sexual marketplace experiences in development.

There's a reason why there's a long thread and a quality thread about college sex experiences.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

Many people trapped in unhappy marriages likely settled down early without fully experiencing life's opportunities.

I don't agree with this. In recent decades, the age at first marriage has been delayed in the US, UK, and likely the rest of Western Europe. In the US (the only place I've seen statistics), this has not changed the probability of a divorce in a 20 year period. The % of marriages reaching a 20 year or 25 year anniversary isn't improving at all. In fact, it's likely getting worse.

Even if a married couple reaches a 20 year anniversary, we must remember that longevity does not automatically equal quality.

In 2024, those who are reaching their 20th anniversary were married in 2004. These people who married in 2004 are likely now 45-50 years old and are Generation X'ers. In 2004, the oldest the Millennials were 20-23 (1981-1984 births) and still years away from marriage if they even got married. In 2021, the Pew Research Center noted that never married 40 year olds reached an all time high.

I don't buy into the idea of a "golden age" for single men after 40, as some corners of the internet suggest.

I don't either and never have. As I mentioned above, the typical 40 something guy is a pussie beggar. The typical 40 something guy isn't able to get a woman 5+ years younger. A 42 year old man with a 35-37 year old girlfriend is doing reasonably well. Let's say there's a 42 year old man with a 37 year old girlfriend and they've been a couple for one year. That means he started his relationship at 41 with a 36 year old woman. This 36 year old woman had been in dating and relationships for 20 years. She has had 20 years of experience with other men and developed some baggage with the passage of time, even if she didn't spend the prior 20 years as a promiscuous woman. She's had enough failed interactions with men to do some psychological damage.

Why can't a 60yrs old man connect (whatever that means) with an early 30s woman? And don't give me that feminist nonsense 'what do they have in common'

Let's say a 60 year old man pursues a 32 year old woman.

I agree with you that some levels of commonality are overrated. The fact that they did not experience similar cultural touchstones doesn't matter as much as some blue pillers think that it does.

However, there are going to some lifestyle issues between a 60 year old and a 32 year old that would arise in an extended relationship.

A 60 year old man is not going to want to have children with a childless 32 year old woman. He's also not going to want to deal with the 1-2 children of a 32 year old single mom as her 1-2 children are likely under 7 and over a decade away from adulthood. A typical 60 year old man in 2024 isn't a childless male. It's a late Boomer who likely has his own late Millennial/early Gen Z children who are between 25-34 years old right now. He's done the raising children thing already.

A 60 year old man also has many health issues that a 32 year old woman is not going to want to deal with at her age. A 60 year old man likely has at least one chronic orthopedic issue if he's led an active lifestyle. Even if a 60 year old man is in shape, he likely has some knee, hip, or back issues. Some of those issues are quality of life affecting. Orthopedic issues are the tip of the iceberg. He could have cardiology issues and he's at higher risk of developing cancer. Why would a 30 something woman want to sign up for some caregiving for a boyfriend/husband, especially when she might have to do that at the same time for her aging parents? She's also going to be widowed earlier in life. These are real issues.

So a hot early 30s woman is going to be attracted to a near elderly 60 year old man for his personality? How cute lol.

Money would be primary reason for an early 30s woman to take on the issues of a 60 year old man.

 

[pipeman84]

So a hot early 30s woman is going to be attracted to a near elderly 60 year old man for his personality? How cute lol.

My point was that with a late 20s, early 30s woman the relationship is most likely going to be transactional anyway. So it doesn't really matter if you're 35 or 60, she's not going to love YOU anyway.

A 60 year old man is not going to want to have children with a childless 32 year old woman.

But those guys in @CornbreadFed ideal age range might be just dumb enough to 'start a family' with that woman and end up in dead bedroom or divorced in 7 years tops.

Even if a 60 year old man is in shape, he likely has some knee, hip, or back issues. Some of those issues are quality of life affecting.

I'd say the odds are higher that the 32yrs old woman has mental issues.

 

[SW15]

those guys in @CornbreadFed ideal age range might be just dumb enough to 'start a family' with that woman and end up in dead bedroom or divorced in 7 years tops.

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

Most men choose Option 1, which is the pursuit of a traditional monogamous marriage. In that traditional monogamous marriage, there are usually children born because the traditional monogamous marriage lasts long enough for that to happen. Additionally, there is also societal programming for that to happen. Outsiders start to ask within 2-3 years of the wedding day when the first baby will come.

Most of my social circle chose Option 1 and I've detailed how it has changed my interactions with them in "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere" below.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

Option 1 does often result in a dead bedroom in 7-10 years of relationship time. In my 12,000+ posts on this forum, the idea I am most well known for promoting is that longer term relationships typically have a shelf life of goodness of around 5 years when they last that long. A man even needs a decent frame to get 5 years of quality. Weaker framed betas (not all betas) might not even be able to achieve that.

Most men have a difficult time with being a Player forever (Option 3), a Serial Monogamist forever (Option 6), or have some sort of poly type harem situation (Options 7-9).

Most men choose Option 1 to exit the game as they don't desire to be pursuing new women as they age.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Ideal for what?
It sounds to me you're describing the ideal age for being a dupe ... stable financial base + close enough in age as to not be obvious that the late 20s, early 30s woman is with you for your beta $$.

Why can't a 60yrs old man connect (whatever that means) with an early 30s woman? And don't give me that feminist nonsense 'what do they have in common'

Fa sho.

I've been with as young as 20 to as old as early 70's.

Age don't mean shiit, generally speaking.

Either she is rocking with you, or she ain't.

Dudes have too many false presuppitions, man.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I turned 32 a couple of weeks ago , im having more fun now in a new city than I ever did in my 20's

I have more money , more experience , more skills , more strength and more knowledge

Ive kept myself in shape I dress well , I'm constantly sleeping with women in their 20's

I look at all my freinds who settled early and most of their lives look like hell , none of them are happy they are all stuck in the same places they grew up in with girls who have let themselves go

At some stage I know I will need to find a wife to have children with and I am kind of trying to find one but where as when I was back home I was panicking thinking I needed to settled down quickly becuase there just wasnt that many women around

Now I've left I've completely opened my eyes I realise that really theres no rush

I meet new girls every week , if they dont fit my requirements or start playing low interest games I just move on to the next

Freedom and change are a mans biggest allies in this fvcked up world we live in

I am so happy for you bro, 32 and livin it up, get it!

 

[BoostedArrow]

My point was that with a late 20s, early 30s woman the relationship is most likely going to be transactional anyway. So it doesn't really matter if you're 35 or 60, she's not going to love YOU anyway.

So I only have a shot now or I will never be loved? ... Depressing

 

[BoostedArrow]

I think this sort of harps on the age pill in some ways and @CornbreadFed and @SW15 might want to add their takes here. I wanted to include this because I been thinking more about life since turning 30 and am on my way to being 31. Very recently, I also did a Euro trip and had some eye opening experiences about age. There is a lot of stuff out there about age but if I had to pin it down to one lesson I have learned as a guy, it would be this.

Do not listen to any of the stuff out there because the meaning of "old" and even "adulthood" is changing right in front of our very own eyes.

Growing up in the Bible Belt, if you did not have a wife and kids by the age of 30, you by all accounts were weird. I think for a large part of the US and the world, this was the case. Marriage and kids by 30 and if you failed to do that, you somehow failed as a man or were an outsider. Thankfully, I made the smartest move in my life ever and moved the heck out of one of the most miserable regions of America.

When you listen to the internet and the direction the Manosphere has gone recently around forcing monogamy and kids and "save society from collapse by getting married and having kids", you would think life ends if you are a bachelor at 30.

However, after living in major cities and traveling the world, I have noticed that it is very common. In fact, not only are there guys who are single past the age of 30 but also guys who are single past the age of 30 and loving life.

In my Euro trip, I met a guy pushing 40 who was just killing it and brought a great vibe to the whole trip.

IMO, you really cannot go wrong with any path.

The internet and society are going to force you into monogamy, even at gunpoint. The same guys forcing you into monogamy at gunpoint will laugh once you get screwed over by divorce.

However, we are living in such a massive time of change that no one knows what the world brings 10 years from now.

No one knows what will be normal and accepted and what won't.

If I had to give advice to guys in their 20s thinking about the future, you can't predict it.

Go where you heart, soul, and your knowledge guide you.

You can be happily married in your 30s but at the same time, you can be miserable in a marriage and lose half your stuff. And the same people who forced you to get married at gunpoint will laugh at you for getting divorced.

You can be a happy bachelor in your 30s but at the same time, feel lonely and feel like you are making society collapse by not getting married and having kids.

I know I do not post as much as I used to on here but if you want to follow my journey and thoughts, see my personal blog below

Post 30 Bachelor | Substack

The dating and action-oriented experiences of a bachelor in his thirties. Click to read Post 30 Bachelor, a Substack publication. Launched a year ago.

post30.substack.com

Off-Topic, but would be interesting for another post: What differences do you see in the american and european sexual markets? What strategies work better where?

 

[pipeman84]

So I only have a shot now or I will never be loved? ... Depressing

You're 22, you have your whole life ahead, why be depressed? You have as many shots as you like, what I suggest is that if you're interested in a love based relationship, then choose a woman preferably 25yrs or younger with no exes.
Further reading:

When a Woman Turns 27

I honestly believe that age 27 is a very monumental turning point for a single woman. When they turn 27, they're faced with the reality that age 30 is approaching. For a woman who's married with at least one child, this isn't really an issue. For a woman who has at least one child, it may or may...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Scaramouche]

So I only have a shot now or I will never be loved? ... Depressing

Hi Arrow,
Depressing?...Nah...quite laughable actually...In actual fact your biggest danger is prematurely loosing your shaft at unworthy targets...Few Men peak before 28 years old,many don't get into their Dating stride until say 37 and can stay there for as long as their Health,status and Mazoomah lasts.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

Most men choose Option 1, which is the pursuit of a traditional monogamous marriage. In that traditional monogamous marriage, there are usually children born because the traditional monogamous marriage lasts long enough for that to happen. Additionally, there is also societal programming for that to happen. Outsiders start to ask within 2-3 years of the wedding day when the first baby will come.

Most of my social circle chose Option 1 and I've detailed how it has changed my interactions with them in "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere" below.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

Option 1 does often result in a dead bedroom in 7-10 years of relationship time. In my 12,000+ posts on this forum, the idea I am most well known for promoting is that longer term relationships typically have a shelf life of goodness of around 5 years when they last that long. A man even needs a decent frame to get 5 years of quality. Weaker framed betas (not all betas) might not even be able to achieve that.

Most men have a difficult time with being a Player forever (Option 3), a Serial Monogamist forever (Option 6), or have some sort of poly type harem situation (Options 7-9).

Most men choose Option 1 to exit the game as they don't desire to be pursuing new women as they age.

I recon most marriages will be friendships by year 5 possibly faster if children / multiple children are involved

then it really comes down too " how much of this persons company can I bear " but with a few gentle nudges from wayward friends / colleagues or even social media it could very quickly be over these days the temptation to cheat or find some new excitement is tremendous

For me the danger of getting married in my 20's and early 30's would mean you lose a hell of a lot of your core years

You can't really self develop in a relationship everything just sort of stands still

And if it doesn't work out well then your kind of back to square one depending on how long you've been " out of the game " it can be very very difficult to get back into it, especially with how difficult and flaky modern women are becoming

I left a 4 year Ltr in 2021 its taken me 3 years too recalibrate and grow into single life and I've had to make some absolutely massive changes in my life to do it

I wouldn't fancy trying to do this at 40+

 

[Millard Fillmore]

IMO, you really cannot go wrong with any path.

So true. It's easy to fall into the trap of being what others think we should be. Always be true to yourself - and reserve the right to change who you are whenever you want.

 

[SW15]

I recon most marriages will be friendships by year 5 possibly faster if children / multiple children are involved

When a romantic relationship starts to feel more like a platonic friendship, it's a sign of frame decay. Frame decay is closely associated with a decline in the quality of the relationship and that includes less frequent sex.

When an established couple (married or unmarried) has children, it does tend to reduce the frequency of sex. In a marriage, that turns into a relationship where child raising duties are more of a focal point than frequent sex.

The progression to this phase takes around around 7-10 years of total relationship time, including the pre-marriage phase, the childless portion of the marriage phase, and marriage phase with children.

When men have children under 3 in the household, there often isn't a lot of time for sex. I've known men with children under 1 complain about how their sex life is non-existent.

You can't really self develop in a relationship everything just sort of stands still

This isn't that much of an issue while a man is getting regular sex. If the regular sex stops, this does tend to become more of an issue.

And if it doesn't work out well then your kind of back to square one depending on how long you've been " out of the game " it can be very very difficult to get back into it, especially with how difficult and flaky modern women are becoming

If an LTR last 3 years or less, I don't think there's much of a loss for being "out of the game". If a relationship lasts something like 3-5 years, then I think it's possible to see a more significant adjustment needing to occur after the relationship ends. The most significant adjustments occur for men who are in the same relationship for 5+ years. Often times, for men in the same relationship for 5+ years, there was a marriage.

A lot of a man's identity is tied up in being in a relationship and it is difficult to go from being "in a relationship guy" or "married guy" to being "single guy with total freedom again after a relationship".

A guy who has a 2 year relationship end will re-adjust to single life much easier than a guy who had been in the same relationship for 12 years, even if the guy in the 12 year relationship didn't have kids (much less likely).

A childless guy coming out of a 12 year long relationship today would likely notice a difference in difficult/flakiness of women in 2024. Women were somewhat flaky in 2011-2012 when he was last single but he would notice it has gotten worse in 2024. Also, a guy coming out of a 12 year relationship in 2024 would likely be dating older women in 2024 as compared to the age of the women he dated in 2011-2012 before his LTR started. He would be dating 30+ women with more baggage who are still just as flaky as 20 somethings. That's annoying.

I left a 4 year Ltr in 2021 its taken me 3 years too recalibrate and grow into single life and I've had to make some absolutely massive changes in my life to do it

I wouldn't fancy trying to do this at 40+

It's not fun to do at 40+ for sure. While there's an expected adjustment period after an LTR, 3 years to re-calibrate after a 4 year LTR seems a bit long.