Why you should call her before you go out with her.

[The Duke]

Typically when I get a girls phone number from OLD i get some fun text banter going for a day or two. She will typically send some pics of herself without me asking. If she plays along, I tell her I will call her the next day or so.

I always learn so much more about them during our phone call. Usually they are talkers and end up sharing plenty. Just let them talk and steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go. Its the best way to screen for potential issues so you don't waste time and money on an actual date.

A few weeks ago a girl told me on the phone she "didn't like people". It concerned me a little and I asked her to explain it. She appeased me with her answer but it was still in the back of my mind. I decided to set up a date with her. On our date she made the same statement 3 times and this time I got more out of her on why she felt that way. It became evident that her people skills were lacking and venues with lots of people gave her anxiety. She was also very introverted. I didn't want to press this issue on the call, but had I done so I wouldn't of gone out with her.

As much as I liked this girls looks, I knew a person like that wouldn't be a good fit for me. It always sucks to turn down a hottie with no kids thats 10years younger than you. But I have been around enough to know what the future looks like with these types and don't want that struggle.

A second girl I called ended up telling me she got half of her husbands company when they divorced. He hadn't been making the payment to her recently so she was taking him to court. Their divorce settlement took 1.5yrs to finalize. She has 8 kids she fostered/adopted. She lives in a 6000sqft house she can't maintain and is getting ready to put up for sale. I guarantee she is living off the money she got from her husband. No way she can afford it on her salary and child support payment. Most of her kids are out of the house, but hell no. She made a funny comment about being a wife to me. I let her know I wasn't into marriage, then she back pedaled and claimed she was joking. This woman is looking for her next man that pays the bills, fixes everything for her.

All of this came out because I called. Thank the Lord I did not take this one out.

A third girl I called ended up talking to for over an hour like we were old friends. The conversation flowed back and forth very well, lots of laughs and there were basically no concerns with her. I knew after our conversation that this girl was pretty solid. I set up a date with her and it went very well.

A phone call before a first date will help you filter out the ones that need to go to the reject pile, help open your eyes to something that might be a concern, or create a stronger connection that helps with first date success. Its time well spent.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You can give the introverted people-hater my contact info.

 

[SW15]

Typically when I get a girls phone number from OLD i get some fun text banter going for a day or two. She will typically send some pics of herself without me asking. If she plays along, I tell her I will call her the next day or so.

A phone call before a first date will help you filter out the ones that need to go to the reject pile, help open your eyes to something that might be a concern, or create a stronger connection that helps with first date success. Its time well spent.

When I used dating websites (pre-swipe app era) and dating apps, I didn't find that phone calls benefitted me. The rate of "one date, no sex, no second date" occurrences was unchanged phone calls vs. no phone calls. I did find video chats were useful the few times I used them.

A phone call might be able to prevent a bad date from happening but it won't prevent a mediocre to subpar date. Mediocre dates are often "one date, no sex, no second date" because women have such abundance online. If they don't get "all the feelz" right away, then they exit the interaction.

With in-person approaching, I find that it is better to have a longer initial conversation (5-15 minutes) and ask on a date as compared to going full Mode One and asking on a date within 30-60 seconds. That's a rough equivalent to your phone call idea. This matters more depending upon your goals and I think this would be a better tactic with longer term relationship type goals.

 

[CornbreadFed]

When I used dating websites (pre-swipe app era) and dating apps, I didn't find that phone calls benefitted me. The rate of "one date, no sex, no second date" occurrences was unchanged phone calls vs. no phone calls. I did find video chats were useful the few times I used them.

A phone call might be able to prevent a bad date from happening but it won't prevent a mediocre to subpar date. Mediocre dates are often "one date, no sex, no second date" because women have such abundance online. If they don't get "all the feelz" right away, then they exit the interaction.

With in-person approaching, I find that it is better to have a longer initial conversation (5-15 minutes) and ask on a date as compared to going full Mode One and asking on a date within 30-60 seconds. That's a rough equivalent to your phone call idea. This matters more depending upon your goals and I think this would be a better tactic with longer term relationship type goals.

I would suggest using the phone call or face time to qualify the girl before the date. Men go in to these dates looking for sex first while the women could care less and have other things in mind. When the date fails, she will usually tell you that there wasn't a spark or no vibe which meant that she was attracted enough to you to meet in person but turned off by your personality.

 

[SW15]

I would suggest using the phone call or face time to qualify the girl before the date.

It's super difficult to get Millennials on the phone. You'd have to arrange it via text. Same with video calls.

A lot of Millennial females are phone call phobic. I think this would be even worse with Gen Z. @The Duke is more likely to be dating late Gen X and the first half of the Millennial generation. The late Gen X'ers would be easier to get on the phone. By the middle of the Millennial gen (1987-1988 births and beyond), a lot of Millennial women won't want to even talk on the phone.

Men go in to these dates looking for sex first while the women could care less and have other things in mind.

I know most men, even blue pill beta males, are sex focused on dates. Women's motivations are a little less clear.

When the date fails, she will usually tell you that there wasn't a spark or no vibe which meant that she was attracted enough to you to meet in person but turned off by your personality.

Women will do one of two things if they don't want a second date.

1. Ghost
2. Give some weak azz "I had a good time but don't see this going further" text message.

I'd rather get the ghosting than the weak azz meaningless text.

 

[nismo-4]

I would suggest using the phone call or face time to qualify the girl before the date. Men go in to these dates looking for sex first while the women could care less and have other things in mind. When the date fails, she will usually tell you that there wasn't a spark or no vibe which meant that she was attracted enough to you to meet in person but turned off by your personality.

Or she found you unattractive in person compared to your competition. Women don't worry about sex since they can get that at anytime. Most guys on this forum couldn't do that, well if they could they wouldn't be here.

With OLD, there's a lot of locked doors and dead ends. Like these:
1. Don't get past the first message
2. Don't get the number, or something about chatting more on the app
3. Get the number, she never picks up or responds to texts unless you move on (send her a pic of you and another woman, she'll respond then!)
4. Don't go past the first phonecall.
5. Talk and text off the app, won't meet in person (Had one last week off Bumble BTW, told her I made arrangements to meet my ex who came in town and destroy her vaginal walls. Sent her a pic of us, I blocked and deleted and unmatched.
6. Get flaked or ghosted before the first meet happens.
7. If the first meet does happen, a second date doesn't and you notice you're unmatched. Or she'll add she didn't feel chemistry. Whatever the fuk that means. Or she stops answering the phone.

Unmatch before she does. In all these cases. Delete her number.

 

[SW15]

she found you unattractive in person compared to your competition. Women don't worry about sex since they can get that at anytime. Most guys on this forum couldn't do that, well if they could they wouldn't be here.

Women have abundance these days, especially women using tech-based methods to arrange dates. Getting sex is relatively easy for a woman under menopausal age. After menopausal age, it becomes more difficult and they are also less interested in sex.

With OLD, there's a lot of locked doors and dead ends. Like these:
1. Don't get past the first message
2. Don't get the number, or something about chatting more on the app
3. Get the number, she never picks up or responds to texts unless you move on (send her a pic of you and another woman, she'll respond then!)
4. Don't go past the first phonecall.
5. Talk and text off the app, won't meet in person
6. Get flaked or ghosted before the first meet happens.

All those are unpleasant, a waste of time, and create false hope. When I used dating websites and apps in the past, 1-3 and 6 were most common for me of these. While all these are bad, they aren't the worst thing from dating apps.

7. If the first meet does happen, a second date doesn't and you notice you're unmatched. Or she'll add she didn't feel chemistry. Whatever the fuk that means. Or she stops answering the phone.

This is the worst outcome. It's the classic, "one date, no sex, no second date" interaction. Occasionally, it is "two dates, no sex, no third date". This is a waste of time and money. It's a generally deflating experience emotionally.

Agree on the idea of deleting a phone number/unmatching on the app if any of 1-7 happen.