I need an opener for a specifc situation...

halfguard

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I work from anywhere so I'm in coffee shops alot. This alone has improved my game more than any other way.

I'm usually pretty good coming up with something on the fly. Sometimes it's direct, an observation, indirect, assumption, etc. I know all the angles.

There is this one girl who comes in almost everyday. I started catching the IOIs recently. Either turning and making eye contact, the hair playing, waiting for her coffee pretending to turn and look out the window but gives me a few glances, or before she leaves with her coffee making the eye contact. All that crap.

I can't find a calibrated opener for her though. One thing that stands out is she is always wearing a different type of shoe. Like funky shoes. One day army boots, next day heel-less loafers with no socks. Next day white sneakers with giant soles that give her a few extra inches, another day red bows on black wedges. Never the same. There has got to be an opener here where I can joke and compliment at the same time but where she needs to qualify also. Or maybe open with an assumption? A flat out compliment may not be terrible here either as long as it isn't needy. She is pretty and I can see most guys being intimidated but that is more reason to approach.

I thought of just teasing her about the different shoes all the time but then it means I'm creeping her doesn't it? She's early 30s at the oldest. Maybe younger.

I'm usually pretty good but I'm stumped with her for some reason. And there are enough IOIs to give it a shot without blowing up my spot.

Any ideas?
 

Mertz09

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Looks like you have something in common.
That coffee spot.
 
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"You must have a big shoe closet."
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BillyPilgrim

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"So if you were a queen, would you be Imelda Marcos or Queen Mary?"
 

Mertz09

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Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
 

inquisitor

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I work from anywhere so I'm in coffee shops alot. This alone has improved my game more than any other way.

I'm usually pretty good coming up with something on the fly. Sometimes it's direct, an observation, indirect, assumption, etc. I know all the angles.

There is this one girl who comes in almost everyday. I started catching the IOIs recently. Either turning and making eye contact, the hair playing, waiting for her coffee pretending to turn and look out the window but gives me a few glances, or before she leaves with her coffee making the eye contact. All that crap.

I can't find a calibrated opener for her though. One thing that stands out is she is always wearing a different type of shoe. Like funky shoes. One day army boots, next day heel-less loafers with no socks. Next day white sneakers with giant soles that give her a few extra inches, another day red bows on black wedges. Never the same. There has got to be an opener here where I can joke and compliment at the same time but where she needs to qualify also. Or maybe open with an assumption? A flat out compliment may not be terrible here either as long as it isn't needy. She is pretty and I can see most guys being intimidated but that is more reason to approach.

I thought of just teasing her about the different shoes all the time but then it means I'm creeping her doesn't it? She's early 30s at the oldest. Maybe younger.

I'm usually pretty good but I'm stumped with her for some reason. And there are enough IOIs to give it a shot without blowing up my spot.

Any ideas?
"Hey, just curious. What do you think about my shoes?"
 

Bingo-Player

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You: excuse me you dropped something
Her: *looking around* what did I drop
You: your standards, hi I’m halfguard
Whilst its funny and some chicks would respond well , I don't think its a fantastic idea to use self depreciation as an opener

your immediately signalling you think she's too good for you , I think this would only work if you were quite clearly way out of her leauge
 

Bingo-Player

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I thought of just teasing her about the different shoes all the time but then it means I'm creeping her doesn't it? She's early 30s at the oldest. Maybe younger.

I'm usually pretty good but I'm stumped with her for some reason. And there are enough IOIs to give it a shot without blowing up my spot.

Any ideas?
I think I would go for

" Hey excuse me I have to ask....... do you have a different pair of shoes for each day of the week " ?

it's not corny , its not creepy , its referencing something about her beyond her physicality

There's no real bad way she could take it and she can answer in a variety of ways

In fact you will discover a lot about her interest depending on her answer

Remember women can and will throw random IOI's out for the hell of it , they mean very little until you've approach and shes reciprocated positively
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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I would argue not approaching her is actually working into your favor because your putting your job ahead of your sex life which gives off a vibe of abundance.

The thing is, when you wait like this, it makes her look at all your previous interactions with her in a different light, no longer is it "He isn't interested or has other options" but rather "He wanted to approach but didn't know how"

What you are really asking here is how to frame your approach, I would argue framing your approach as "I wanted to, but couldn't..." as opposed to "I wanted to, but didn't know how" and in my opinion, a good way to frame it is "I just exited an LTR", kind of plant that seed and then begin escalating from there.
 

Scaramouche

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Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Hi Mertz,
Yes a good opening but perhaps say "I'm getting a coffee,like to join me".That way you aren't begging her.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Mertz09

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Hi Mertz,
Yes a good opening but perhaps say "I'm getting a coffee,like to join me".That way you aren't begging her.
Hmm. I didn’t think that Brad Pitt has ever begged anyone for anything ever. LOL
 

Mertz09

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