Overanalyzing or what?

[anour]

Djs, back again with another approach experience, i hope this helps newbies in the game too, i’d appreciate your input and all people new to the game will.


I was just at a coffeeshop (a dutch one = weed), i was sitting with a few friends and on the table next to us there were two girls sitting on their own. My friends leave and I then opened the girls with the question where are y’all from (they were speaking nor local nor english) we talk for a bit, they’re romanian one is studying the other is visiting her, we talk for a bit, a bit banter a bit of flirting, and then somewhere around the end she says “balls” to which i reply “god damn you can’t play with my balls i just met you” she was like “noo i didn’t say that, i meant billiards” <- i asked them what they like to do for fun, they actually didn’t go billiards because “it was crowded and didn’t like the vibe” then silence prevails, i switch topic and then after tell her “i want to see you again, we can go do billiards, i know a better place than the one you were actually at”, she was like ok then they start giggling and looking at each other, i then tell her put your number in my phone, she says “i don’t know how to use phones” to which i reply “damn you use like pigeons?“ and then said “how am i gonna be able to speak to you” she was like “i will write you a letter, give me your address” i playfully reply “here write it down” she was like “oh i don’t know how” i then say oh then have a good evening and leave.

My question is was the ball thingy creepy/uncalibrated? Is there something that i did wrong? Or am i just over-analyzing a random stupid approach?

 

[anour]

.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

My question is was the ball thingy creepy/uncalibrated? Is there something that i did wrong? Or am i just over-analyzing a random stupid approach?

Yes.

 

[anour]

Yes.

To what exactly? Can you tell me what you’d do in such a situation. Please be more insightful than simply “i wouldn’t say that”

 

[BPH]

the other is visiting her

You probably could've stopped here. Unless the friend is a s*** she's not gonna leave the girl who's offering her a place to stay to go f*** some random guy she just met.

Neither will the host girl because she's responsible for the friend.

Between the balls and pigeons lines it sounds like you feel like you have to force humor, which you don't, and the fact that this sounds like a daytime approach since it's a cafe and not a bar, the balls line was probably especially weird, depending on how early it was used.

Not knowing how to use a phone is a rejection, you probably should've just left after that, if not earlier. The giggling might've been AT you rather than WITH you.

 

[anour]

You probably could've stopped here. Unless the friend is a s*** she's not gonna leave the girl who's offering her a place to stay to go f*** some random guy she just met.

Neither will the host girl because she's responsible for the friend.

Between the balls and pigeons lines it sounds like you feel like you have to force humor, which you don't, and the fact that this sounds like a daytime approach since it's a cafe and not a bar, the balls line was probably especially weird, depending on how early it was used.

Not knowing how to use a phone is a rejection, you probably should've just left after that, if not earlier. The giggling might've been AT you rather than WITH you.

Lol the friend was the one visiting, i opened the one hosting her.
2. It was 9 pm at a coffeeshop not daytime, my intention was playfully misunderstanding = flirting

3. I had to use humor to diffuse the situation

4. what would you say in my situation?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

To what exactly? Can you tell me what you’d do in such a situation. Please be more insightful than simply “i wouldn’t say that”

Yes, the ball thingy was creepy/uncalibrated. You already know that.
Yes, there something that you did wrong. More than one thing, actually.
And yes, you're just over-analyzing a random stupid approach. Partially true, since it's useless to spend time on second-guessing women.

You let her take control of the conversation and then failed her congruency test. Next time, don't allow her to take over.

 

[anour]

Yes, the ball thingy was creepy/uncalibrated. You already know that.
Yes, there something that you did wrong. More than one thing, actually.
And yes, you're just over-analyzing a random stupid approach. Partially true, since it's useless to spend time on second-guessing women.

You let her take control of the conversation and then failed her congruency test. Next time, don't allow her to take over.

Where exactly does she take control of the conversation? What was the congruency test?


Btw i just remembered a really ****ing stupid **** that i did, i approached different girls before that by like 30 mins, they were also a group 3 girls, one of them was really hot, i asked them where are y’all from, they said we are dutch i was like you don’t look dutch, y’all look like hip-hop chicks, she asks how does that look? I reply you look more russian, polish somewhere in that region (they didn’t have the typical blonde hair blue eyes), they were like no we are dutch, then a friend of hers come out from the supermarket and she was like how does she look like? (The girl was blonde with blue eyes) -> i say she looks dutch, she is like no she is swedish i was like yeah whatever they all look the same, and then they simply walk away,
Now thinking about it, this was the dumbest thing to ever say, i came off across as stereotypical, racist, and just very shallow. Btw the girl who came out was a girl who i approached a few months before and she gave me her number and she just ghosted me.

 

[BPH]

Think less, do more, you'll figure it out.

My friends would sometimes ask me what I said to a girl when I came back with her number, the answer is I don't really know. I just had a conversation.

When you get to that point you'll not need to ask if you did something right or wrong, because you'll already know. And you're not at that point because you're reciting the exact lines you used on these girls from several hours ago.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You'll never see them again so who cares how it turned out. Yes, the balls comment was a little clunky and probably a bit too forward (at least for my style). Discretion/innuendo is typically more sexy than putting something out in their face.

As for the first approach (the second one you mentioned), yes that was very clunky. You were sort of indirectly implying that Dutch girls aren't hip and look a certain way. Again, who cares. You are young and cold approaching. You will get better.

 

[anour]

OP,

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You'll never see them again so who cares how it turned out. Yes, the balls comment was a little clunky and probably a bit too forward (at least for my style). Discretion/innuendo is typically more sexy than putting something out in their face.

As for the first approach (the second one you mentioned), yes that was very clunky. You were sort of indirectly implying that Dutch girls aren't hip and look a certain way. Again, who cares. You are young and cold approaching. You will get better.

What would you have said in both approaches to calibrate towards pull? Thank you for the encouraging words my i appreciate you

 

[anour]

Think less, do more, you'll figure it out.

My friends would sometimes ask me what I said to a girl when I came back with her number, the answer is I don't really know. I just had a conversation.

When you get to that point you'll not need to ask if you did something right or wrong, because you'll already know. And you're not at that point because you're reciting the exact lines you used on these girls from several hours ago.

True to a certain point, sometimes this can be counterproductive as auto-mode reduces awareness and if the approach doesn’t work well you can easily blame the girls/other person while leaving room for improvement (that’s what happened to me with the first set of girls, please read the other approach i posted as a comment on this thread; i just thought those girls were weird for leaving while in reality i acted weird while i was on auto-mode” My room for improvement is calibration and being aware and careful of what i say.

 

[Barrister]

What would you have said in both approaches to calibrate towards pull? Thank you for the encouraging words my i appreciate you

Honestly, I think you did fairly well outside of the balls comment. The thing you have to remember about cold approach is that you usually are going to strike out no matter how good looking and suave you are. Your success rate is going to be low. If you are getting numbers/dates out of 10% of your cold approaches you are doing very well. So with that mind, don't sweat not getting a score. You have the right mindset. Again, the balls comment was a little much. And the Dutch approach was sort of a crash and burn. But that's completely fine. You are doing well.

 

[anour]

Honestly, I think you did fairly well outside of the balls comment. The thing you have to remember about cold approach is that you usually are going to strike out no matter how good looking and suave you are. Your success rate is going to be low. If you are getting numbers/dates out of 10% of your cold approaches you are doing very well. So with that mind, don't sweat not getting a score. You have the right mindset. Again, the balls comment was a little much. And the Dutch approach was sort of a crash and burn. But that's completely fine. You are doing well.

You live and learn, thank you for the drop-by bro, appreciate you. What is the best approach then to getting women besides OLD and cold-approach? Dutch approach was horrendous bro, that **** just hit me like wooah that’s crazy

 

[BPH]

True to a certain point, sometimes this can be counterproductive as auto-mode reduces awareness and if the approach doesn’t work well you can easily blame the girls/other person while leaving room for improvement (that’s what happened to me with the first set of girls, please read the other approach i posted as a comment on this thread; i just thought those girls were weird for leaving while in reality i acted weird while i was on auto-mode” My room for improvement is calibration and being aware and careful of what i say.

Part of getting good at this involves being able to recognize situations that you can't win/aren't worth your time.

You went up to 3 girls and spent enough time talking about s*** that doesn't matter, ie where they're from and that they don't look like they're from there to the point where they deemed the conversation no longer worth their time...

You went up to 2 girls who told you they were staying with each other and therefore you wouldn't be able to separate one from the other...

I'm not saying these are terrible things you did, but it's obvious you haven't done these enough yet to read between the lines. Like if I see a super hot girl out at a bar, but she's with 4 dudes talking to her, there is no Contra Code bulls*** I can suddenly employ that's going to magically make me a winner in that situation. So instead of wasting my time, I go find somebody else, as you should have when you found out those 2 girls were going to be attached at the hip for her friend's stay.

 

[Barrister]

You live and learn, thank you for the drop-by bro, appreciate you. What is the best approach then to getting women besides OLD and cold-approach? Dutch approach was horrendous bro, that **** just hit me like wooah that’s crazy

OLD are the easiest lays if you are decent looking to very good looking. It is low hanging fruit and the women typically are damaged.

Cold approach you will pull overall younger and hotter. You are already young, but that is more important to old guys like me ha.

Otherwise, there is social circle. Having good social proof and just knowing a lot of people will gain you some opportunities where you make ancillary connections from that that can result in sex. Typically, these are your best bets for an LTR - but they are also the most rare since you lack control over who is part of your social circle (to an extent since you typically will stick with the same group of people on a consistent basis).

 

[BPH]

OLD are the easiest lays if you are decent looking to very good looking. It is low hanging fruit and the women typically are damaged.

Cold approach you will pull overall younger and hotter. You are already young, but that is more important to old guys like me ha.

I can vouch for both these things, especially the first.

 

[SW15]

OLD are the easiest lays if you are decent looking to very good looking. It is low hanging fruit and the women typically are damaged.

The men who are best positioned for success on the swipe apps are very good looking men. These are men typically 8 or 8.5+ in looks.

For top tier men, swipe apps are better than nightlife venues because it's easier to get more abundance faster. For a top tier man, being on a swipe app is like being in multiple nightlife venues simultaneously and 24/7. In real life, a man can only be in one nightlife venue at a time.

Very good looking men are able to have sex with a near endless supply of average to cute women. It's quite common for 8.5+ looks guys on swipe apps to have a lot of sex with women in the 5-6.9 range on looks. It's quite common to see women in the 6-6.9 range get damaged from having a lot of sex with upper tier men and never securing a commitment from that. Here's an example of an early 30s 6 range woman who is able to have a lot of sex with hot men but never get a commitment from one.

Cold approach you will pull overall younger and hotter. You are already young, but that is more important to old guys like me ha.

Agree but the path of approaching strangers is often a very difficult path.

Otherwise, there is social circle. Having good social proof and just knowing a lot of people will gain you some opportunities where you make ancillary connections from that that can result in sex. Typically, these are your best bets for an LTR - but they are also the most rare since you lack control over who is part of your social circle (to an extent since you typically will stick with the same group of people on a consistent basis).

Social circle game is a quality solution for a lot of men. Social circle introductions are generally the best option for a normie range guy.

The men who tend to have the best social circles are men who have had the least amount of relocations lifetime. Staying in the same area throughout the entirety of childhood and remaining in that same area as an adult is very helpful, so long as the man has at least average range looks and average range social skills. Men can thank a parent or both parents for not relocating them during childhood as it tends to weaken social circles in general.

It is true that social circle is great for getting a girlfriend for the men with fortunate enough situations in life to have them. Pay close attention to the words "a girlfriend". That means one girlfriend. If you're looking for an extended relationship (2-5 years or more), your best bet for getting that with the least amount of grief and frustration is social circle. Many men who get social circle girlfriends tend to retain those girlfriends for a long time and often beyond the useful life of the relationship. A lot of the social circle girlfriend guys are beta males and beta males operate from a scarcity mindset. It's common to see a 10 year+ relationship from social circle which does lead to a marriage proposal.

For men with social circles, the problem with the social circle method eventually becomes sustainability as social circles get pissed at men who continually exchange girlfriends, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). The behavior described in the last sentence is serial monogamy, so it is accurate to say that social circles get pissed off at serial monogamists. It is important to remember that social circles generally have a blue pill viewpoint on romantic relationships. A man might be able to pull 2 LTRs from a social circle without marrying one. After 2 instances, he will have typically bled the social circle dry. Then again, a lot of the beta males who use social circle game aren't interested in serial monogamy and believe in the idea of a sustainable, happier marriage.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP you want to twist what they say, not stretch it from London to Melbourne.

Example:

Her: "I'm thirsty"

OP: "You're just trying to get drunk and rape me!"

Her: "um...I meant I water"


Don't do this.

 

[anour]

OP you want to twist what they say, not stretch it from London to Melbourne.

Example:

Her: "I'm thirsty"

OP: "You're just trying to get drunk and rape me!"

Her: "um...I meant I water"


Don't do this.

How would you twist from London to Essex then?

would you go like this?

her “i’m thirsty”
Me “thats how girls feel around me, nothing to worry about”
Her “giggling or similar”