Failure to approach in Public (e.g. Coffee shop, supermarket, etc) --Sometimes you just don't have an opener

[oc16]

So, don't beat yourself up.....

First off, I am NOT referring to a woman who is clearly giving you IOI's; I am referring to a woman that maybe makes eye contact with you without a smile or the elevator look. An attractive female where you are maybe 50/50 if she was checking you out or not.

Example: You are walking down a supermarket aisle and make eye contact for a long second with an attractive woman as she goes past.

There is really nothing you can do, other than keep walking to you what you need to find. If you do an about face and follow her you will creep her out.

I was in a Starbucks today. As I left the counter, a solid 8 atleast 20 years my junior walked by me and we did make eye contact with each other as we passed. However, the fact that she briefly looked at me as we walked by doesn't really mean anything. If she would have given me the elevator eyes or smiled as we passed that would of been a clear IOI.

Anyhow, we were both standing near the counter waiting for our orders with me standing back and to the right of her. She didn't look back at all and I was trying to avoid staring at her.

I was almost going to maybe say something to her, but wtf was I going to say?

I really had no opener. I can't comment on the crummy weather (that is way too cliche). I couldn't comment on her order, I couldn't comment on what she was wearing (e.g. maybe she was wearing a piece of apparel of a place I visited)

I am not saying I blew an opportunity here since I didn't get a Clear IOI, but my point is sometimes you don't have anything to go off of to do an approach.

Contrast this scenario with one I had a few months back in the same location. Older chick with bangin body but so-so face smiled at me 2X when I was waiting for my order. I DID make an approach since I had solid IOI's (2 smiles). I forget what my opener was, but I had the clear green light.

 

[pipeman84]

I was in a Starbucks today. As I left the counter, a solid 8 atleast 20 years my junior walked by me and we did make eye contact with each other as we passed.

In such instances, she has to either give very clear IOIs or she has to approach you. Otherwise you're just reinforcing the stereotype of creepy old man preying on young girls.
Imagine a grown ass +40yrs old man commenting on the t-shirt of a 20 something girl who hasn't even acknowledged his presence. Pathetic, you're not in high school anymore.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I was almost going to maybe say something to her, but wtf was I going to say?

"Hi."

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

So, don't beat yourself up.....

Yes, beat yourself up if you fail to approach a woman you find attractive.

First off, I am NOT referring to a woman who is clearly giving you IOI's;

You don't wait on a woman to give you IOI's...you WALK UP ON A B!TCH.

I am referring to a woman that maybe makes eye contact with you without a smile or the elevator look. An attractive female where you are maybe 50/50 if she was checking you out or not.

Take advantage of such rare opportunities.

Example: You are walking down a supermarket aisle and make eye contact for a long second with an attractive woman as she goes past.

Been there.

There is really nothing you can do, other than keep walking to you what you need to find.

There is really something you can do, which is approach her .

You can find what you need to find later.

Right now, you are on puzzy patrol.

If you do an about face and follow her you will creep her out.

This is an obvious preconception of how you think situations like this will transpire, with no real life experiences to back it up.

I was in a Starbucks today. As I left the counter, a solid 8 atleast 20 years my junior walked by me and we did make eye contact with each other as we passed. However, the fact that she briefly looked at me as we walked by doesn't really mean anything. If she would have given me the elevator eyes or smiled as we passed that would of been a clear IOI.

Anyhow, we were both standing near the counter waiting for our orders with me standing back and to the right of her. She didn't look back at all and I was trying to avoid staring at her.

I was almost going to maybe say something to her, but wtf was I going to say?

Like Amsterdam said...

"Hi".

I really had no opener. I can't comment on the crummy weather (that is way too cliche). I couldn't comment on her order, I couldn't comment on what she was wearing (e.g. maybe she was wearing a piece of apparel of a place I visited)

"Hi".

I am not saying I blew an opportunity here since I didn't get a Clear IOI, but my point is sometimes you don't have anything to go off of to do an approach.

Don't wait on IOI's, bruh.

PM me.

Contrast this scenario with one I had a few months back in the same location. Older chick with bangin body but so-so face smiled at me 2X when I was waiting for my order. I DID make an approach since I had solid IOI's (2 smiles). I forget what my opener was, but I had the clear green light.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

another reminder that its only men who have to worry about pick up lines

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

another reminder that its only men who have to worry about pick up lines

It's a reminder that only pick up guys worry about how to 'open' a woman.

Mostly 'hi' plus 'observational compliment' suffice to 'open' a conversation with a woman.
"Hi, you look elegant. Can I see your wallet?"

 

[Redwood]

another reminder that its only men who have to worry about pick up lines

If you think too much, you've already lost half the battle.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's a reminder that only pick up guys worry about how to 'open' a woman.

Mostly 'hi' plus 'observational compliment' suffice to 'open' a conversation with a woman.
"Hi, you look elegant. Can I see your wallet?"

Yup. You can literally say "hi". Then ask for her name - if she asks for your name shortly after you can take that as a sign of high IL, too.

 

[Dash Riprock]

You scored zero points because you didn't even try, but at least you didn't talk about the weather or say hi and then just look at her. That would actually have been worse. You need a clever opener if you want to pique her interest. If she's cute, she has guys saying "hi" (and worse) all the time every day.

Don't be predictable and boring. Be memorable. Take a chance. Show some kahunas. Why the F not? Right?

If you can use humor, which few can, you're golden. Should have casually asked her how many chocolate covered espresso beans she thought she could eat in one sitting before the shakes or a full-blown panic attack set in or make up a funny doppelganger for one of the baristas and then quickly work in the name of a song or a movie the doppelganger sang or appeared in while placing your order. It's all in the delivery though. You need to be smooth, confident, and unassuming. I've actually used both of these before and got some big laughs.

Me: "Hey, the barista kind of looks like Axl Rose."
Her: Yeah (giggling), a little."
Me (ordering): "Hi, damn...I've been riding the Night Train all day so I'll have a double espresso latte (big exhale). Work has been a real drag, it's like Welcome to the Jungle every day, definitely not Paradise City, know what I mean??"
Her: (laughing her a*s off)

 

[Bingo-Player]

You scored zero points because you didn't even try, but at least you didn't talk about the weather or say hi and then just look at her. That would actually have been worse. You need a clever opener if you want to pique her interest. If she's cute, she has guys saying "hi" (and worse) all the time every day.

Don't be predictable and boring. Be memorable. Take a chance. Show some kahunas. Why the F not? Right?

If you can use humor, which few can, you're golden. Should have casually asked how many chocolate covered espresso beans she thought she could eat in one sitting before the shakes or a full-blown panic attack set in or make up a funny doppelganger for one of the baristas. It's all in the delivery though. You need to be smooth, confident, and unassuming. I've actually used both of these before and got some big laughs.

Agreed , you have to take your shot even at risk of completely missing the target

I've said it before but the vast majority of chicks aren't going to be rude even if you say the most stupidest thing ever and it goes terribly wrong the worst she will do is just excuse herself

Early Last year after I'd had a gutsful of the apps and was starting to cut my teeth with cold approach again some of the stuff I was coming out with was so stupid and random

I was doing gym approaches the first few were awkward but none of the girls were rude , by the end of the year I was on fire I didn't even have to think much

This year I am a lot more relaxed with approaches and if your relaxed it will let her be relaxed too

I open girls everywhere wether they give me signals or not

Sometimes its a dead end , sometimes I get strong chemistry

Its just a numbers game , but taking some action is better than no action

 

[The Duke]

Comment on her shoes or something she is wearing if it stands out.

If at a grocery store, ask her if she is athe mystery shopper. Say, by the look of all that food you have, I bet you know how to cook.

I have girls approach me from time to time. Its almost always a compliment on something I am wearing. Shoes, shirt, or jewelry.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

You need a clever opener if you want to pique her interest. If she's cute, she has guys saying "hi" (and worse) all the time every day.

incorrect

Me (ordering): "Hi, damn...I've been riding the Night Train all day so I'll have a double espresso latte (big exhale). Work has been a real drag, it's like Welcome to the Jungle every day, definitely not Paradise City, know what I mean??"
Her: (laughing her a*s off)

bro what

 

[NealIRC]

Like Amsterdam said...

"Hi".



"Hi".

No, hi is never an opener. It's the stuff you say after that is. If you say hi, the most a woman would do is stop, and wait for you to continue. She's not going to have a line of her own.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

No, hi is never an opener.

Nonsense.

"Hi"

"Hello"

"Good morning"

Any of those three variations of "greetings" are the most basic and fundamental...and have been effective for thousands of years and are still effective to this day.

And all three are guaranteed to warrant a response from the person you are addressing and are the ultimate opener..even though I hardly ever use it because I have more direct and bold openers, being the edgy, dynamic person that I am.

It's the stuff you say after that is. If you say hi, the most a woman would do is stop, and wait for you to continue. She's not going to have a line of her own.

I guess you and I live in different words.

I live in the world where if you say hi to people, they say hi in return.

You live in a world where if you say to a person, they will just stop and stare at you.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"Hi, I wonder if you could help me, I left my reading glasses at home. Can you read the fine print on this label to see if it contains sugar?"

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"Hi, are you from this neighbourhood? Don't think I saw you here before / I think I saw you here before."

 

[NealIRC]

I guess you and I live in different words.

I live in the world where if you say hi to people, they say hi in return.

So then you're expected to say something. That's why hi is never an opener.

 

[SW15]

Comment on her shoes or something she is wearing if it stands out.

This is good. I have regularly used this as an opener. The problem becomes when nothing she's wearing stands out.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The problem becomes when nothing she's wearing stands out.

Don't make a problem where there isn't one. "I like your vibe."

 

[SW15]

It's entirely possible not to think of an opener to say to a woman. Mostly every man who approaches strangers has this happen to him at least once.

The best solution to this problem is to use a standard opener. That way, you are never at a loss for words. Roosh had a standard night game opener that I used for many years and a few standard daygame openers + GALNUC method. Other pickup artists also use standard openers. I've seen YouTube videos of Austen Summers promoting the use of standard openers.

I used standard openers for an extended period of time on my approaches until I felt confident enough to improvise with my approaches. I'd still use a standard opener if I can't find anything worth improvising on (rare but it can happen).