Where are these "other guys" meeting LTR material women--The Million dollar question we all have!

[oc16]

You see it time and time again (at the bar, gym, restaurant, sporting event, church, social media pics, etc.)

An attractive female 6.5+ with a boyfriend/fiancé/husband who is NO more attractive than you and worse!

A brief moment of pang and/or envy travels through your brain.

Why does this guy have a LTR with this attractive woman and you don't?

In my opinion, I think it comes down to two areas:

Social Circle and Your place of Employment

For example, I was at a St. Patrick's Day party a few weeks back. It was my friend's brother-in-law and his wife's party. I barely know these people but most of the people there were their friends. There were attractive women there (none single) but this is the perfect example of meeting somebody through your social circle. Usually, the connection is tenuous, but knowing the same people brought you to the same place.

Work is also good (but not in small office) since you see these women often and they don't have their guard up like most other places.

NOT

Online
Bar/Clubs
Volunteering
Meetup.com groups
Church
Sporting Events
Grocery Store
Running Events

Yes, you can meet a quality woman in these locations, but it is not in the majority.

 

[corrector]

According to @Desdinova, you have to scoop a girl from a stale LTR that she's no longer satisfied with in order to get into another LTR, otherwise, there's probably a reason they are single right?

 

[Barrister]

If you are speaking of LTRs, the three main components that go into a woman's decision are the following and in this order:

1. Social proof (connections and ability to influence others)
2. Money
3. Looks

Looks are least important here, but they do still matter. Looks matter the most in the initial stages, but diminish in importance as time wears on.

As for your list, keep an open mind in these type of situations. Even if you are not seeing attractive, available women, these women you do meet at social circle functions may suggest you to other women. In my experience, these women can many times be very attractive.

 

[oc16]

If you are speaking of LTRs, the three main components that go into a woman's decision are the following and in this order:

1. Social proof (connections and ability to influence others)
2. Money
3. Looks

Looks are least important here, but they do still matter. Looks matter the most in the initial stages, but diminish in importance as time wears on.

As for your list, keep an open mind in these type of situations. Even if you are not seeing attractive, available women, these women you do meet at social circle functions may suggest you to other women. In my experience, these women can many times be very attractive.

I know gyms are not good places either (unless you take a class), but it would always be good if you can run into some of these attractive women you see at the gym outside of the gym. You can do an approach and be like "excuse me? I think we go to the same gym. It might backfire, but it's a good opener.

 

[Manure Spherian]

You see it time and time again (at the bar, gym, restaurant, sporting event, church, social media pics, etc.)

An attractive female 6.5+ with a boyfriend/fiancé/husband who is NO more attractive than you and worse!

A brief moment of pang and/or envy travels through your brain.

Why does this guy have a LTR with this attractive woman and you don't?

In my opinion, I think it comes down to two areas:

Social Circle and Your place of Employment

For example, I was at a St. Patrick's Day party a few weeks back. It was my friend's brother-in-law and his wife's party. I barely know these people but most of the people there were their friends. There were attractive women there (none single) but this is the perfect example of meeting somebody through your social circle. Usually, the connection is tenuous, but knowing the same people brought you to the same place.

Work is also good (but not in small office) since you see these women often and they don't have their guard up like most other places.

NOT

Online
Bar/Clubs
Volunteering
Meetup.com groups
Church
Sporting Events
Grocery Store
Running Events

Yes, you can meet a quality woman in these locations, but it is not in the majority.

Yes, you have it right. Ordinary men typically meet people, both their male friends and women, in the course of their lives, not through some calculated manner in a hot spot such as a club or bar.

Common copes for the envy ordinary men with women induce are the following.
1. "Heehee, I just went to the beach/pool/water park, and I saw all these fat f-cks with their women. Haha, you know they're getting cheated on. I was there ripped. I saw their women checking me out."

2. "These guys don't do anything. They just go to their jobs. They don't work out." What they should be doing, nobody knows or says.

3. "I went back to my hometown. Everyone there got fat and didn't leave. They're all saddled down with a wife that got fat, their kids, and their jobs. You know they're miserable. You know their kids hate them." Why they should've left and how they know they're miserable and that their kids hate them, nobody knows or says.

As I've said elsewhere, I consider it very funny that now not only feminists and excessively hypergamous women want to purge ordinary men, other men now judge other men according to women's standards. Refer to Rollo Tomassi, Michael Sartain, and Richard Cooper, who speak as if ordinary men do not deserve women, even ordinary women with matching SMV. You must improve thyself into bionic-man status. "Dost the work, my accursed beta! Work!" (Whapeesh!)

What do these ordinary men have to bring to the table? Well, you rated them visually by designating an attractiveness-scale number. That's all.

However, they might have attractive traits, like:
1. Power and influence, high status-jobs (all fit together in one point)
2. Personal wealth
3. Wealthy families
4. Popularity
5. Talents
6. Intellect
7. Accountability (yes, some psychologically healthy women, becoming fewer in number, actually value this)
8. An “edge,” whatever the hell this is.

I suspect it is hard for some men to imagine unassuming men to have such traits because according to RP celebrities, only 6-6-6 supermen have them.

I do disagree with your statement that people do not have mates from OLD. Several of my friends and family members and I met our spouses through OLD. I had several girlfriends and manwhoring experiences, including some I call "porn come to life," from OLD, before I met my wife.

 

[oc16]

Yes, you have it right. Ordinary men typically meet people, both their male friends and women, in the course of their lives, not through some calculated manner in a hot spot such as a club or bar.

Common copes for the envy ordinary men with women induce are the following.
1. "Heehee, I just went to the beach/pool/water park, and I saw all these fat f-cks with their women. Haha, you know they're getting cheated on. I was there ripped. I saw their women checking me out."

2. "These guys don't do anything. They just go to their jobs. They don't work out." What they should be doing, nobody knows or says.

3. "I went back to my hometown. Everyone there got fat and didn't leave. They're all saddled down with a wife that got fat, their kids, and their jobs. You know they're miserable. You know their kids hate them." Why they should've left and how they know they're miserable and that their kids hate them, nobody knows or says.

As I've said elsewhere, I consider it very funny that now not only feminists and excessively hypergamous women want to purge ordinary men, other men now judge other men according to women's standards. Refer to Rollo Tomassi, Michael Sartain, and Richard Cooper, who speak as if ordinary men do not deserve women, even ordinary women with matching SMV. You must improve thyself into bionic-man status. "Dost the work, my accursed beta! Work!" (Whapeesh!)

What do these ordinary men have to bring to the table? Well, you rated them visually by designating an attractiveness-scale number. That's all.

However, they might have attractive traits, like:
1. Power and influence, high status-jobs (all fit together in one point)
2. Personal wealth
3. Wealthy families
4. Popularity
5. Talents
6. Intellect
7. Accountability (yes, some psychologically healthy women, becoming fewer in number, actually value this)

I suspect it is hard for some men to imagine unassuming men to have such traits because according to RP celebrities, only 6-6-6 supermen have them.

I do disagree with your statement that people do not have mates from OLD. Several of my friends and family members and I met our spouses through OLD. I had several girlfriends and manwhoring experiences, including some I call "porn come to life," from OLD, before I met my wife.

I'm not saying people don't meet through OLD, however it's maybe like 20 to 25% of couples meet that way. The majority of people still aren't meeting their LTR's through OLD.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You see it time and time again (at the bar, gym, restaurant, sporting event, church, social media pics, etc.)

An attractive female 6.5+ with a boyfriend/fiancé/husband who is NO more attractive than you and worse!

A brief moment of pang and/or envy travels through your brain.

Why does this guy have a LTR with this attractive woman and you don't?

Yes I see it a lot too I think its worse when your actively searching for a good quality woman to settle with

I can remember I was doing some work in a cafe last summer sat outside , this couple arrive and sit on a table next too me the chicks a blonde HB 8 in a cute little summer dress nice painted nails / toes etc attractive girl most guys are going to be proud to have with them

The dude is physically just your average guy maybe like 5 10-11" didn't seem like any sort of chad didnt even look like he went to the gym ..... obviously I dont know all the facts but I was asking myself

a) where the fvck did this guy meet this chick

b) how the fvck has he managed too beat all the other competition for her

And I have to admit I see this type of scenario a lot in day to day life and it does baffle me

I'm about 5'10 so just about average height and I'm seeing guys my height and shorter with what I would consider very very nice quality women

Yet most of the time when I'm going to meet women or approaching single women of the same standard IRL at some stage I will usually get a comment like " wish you were a little taller " maybe not a dealbreaker but I definitely feel like from there I have an uphill battle and it can become wearing

I know sometimes you can get lucky and meet them girls who your attracted too and they are into you from the word go but I will meet one of these maybe once a year if I am lucky its not like I have them beating down my door

I'm usually dealing with women I'm not really that bothered about or I will just withdraw and not deal with any at all

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of it I guess is do with social circles ........if you're pre qualified in a circle you definitely get an easier ride With the females in that circle you get more leeway for minor mistakes , you have time to build up familiarity , you get endorsements from others in the group and physical traits seem to matter far less

I built up a strong social network in my gym last year before I moved and I can say it definitely helped getting other chicks in the gym interested in me

Dating shouldn't really be highly reliant on others opinons or perception of you as a person but I feel it definitely it is the key

 

[oc16]

Yes I see it a lot too I think its worse when your actively searching for a good quality woman to settle with

I can remember I was doing some work in a cafe last summer sat outside , this couple arrive and sit on a table next too me the chicks a blonde HB 8 in a cute little summer dress nice painted nails / toes etc attractive girl most guys are going to be proud to have with them

The dude is physically just your average guy maybe like 5 10-11" didn't seem like any sort of chad didnt even look like he went to the gym ..... obviously I dont know all the facts but I was asking myself

a) where the fvck did this guy meet this chick

b) how the fvck has he managed too beat all the other competition for her

And I have to admit I see this type of scenario a lot in day to day life and it does baffle me

I'm about 5'10 so just about average height and I'm seeing guys my height and shorter with what I would consider very very nice quality women

Yet most of the time when I'm going to meet women or approaching single women of the same standard IRL at some stage I will usually get a comment like " wish you were a little taller " maybe not a dealbreaker but I definitely feel like from there I have an uphill battle and it can become wearing

I know sometimes you can get lucky and meet them girls who your attracted too and they are into you from the word go but I will meet one of these maybe once a year if I am lucky its not like I have them beating down my door

I'm usually dealing with women I'm not really that bothered about or I will just withdraw and not deal with any at all

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of it I guess is do with social circles ........if you're pre qualified in a circle you definitely get an easier ride With the females in that circle you get more leeway for minor mistakes , you have time to build up familiarity , you get endorsements from others in the group and physical traits seem to matter far less

I built up a strong social network in my gym last year before I moved and I can say it definitely helped getting other chicks in the gym interested in me

Dating shouldn't really be highly reliant on others opinons or perception of you as a person but I feel it definitely it is the key

5'10" is a solid height and shouldn't cause you too many issues at all.
Heck, in New Jersey you would still be taller than 60% of other guys.

 

[Bingo-Player]

5'10" is a solid height and shouldn't cause you too many issues at all.
Heck, in New Jersey you would still be taller than 60% of other guys.

I wouldn't say it causes issues just seems to make things a degree harder

Example I have a friend who is 6ft on the dot and maybe 10 KG heavier than me when we go out he appears to have it at least 20%
easier than me

meaning I have to work about 20% harder to get the same sort of result with a chick

Like I said it can become wearing

 

[Bingo-Player]

So apart from a few inches taller and ten kg heavier, the two of you are the same in all other aspects?

No we have very differing personalities some girls will respond better to mine

I have a beard he cannot grow a beard , I'm quite dark he is very very fair

I'm just saying from a purely physical standpoint in my perception is he does seem to have it a little bit easier

( But of course I can't account for every individual woman's preference just the random ones we meet )

 

[oc16]

I wouldn't say it causes issues just seems to make things a degree harder

Example I have a friend who is 6ft on the dot and maybe 10 KG heavier than me when we go out he appears to have it at least 20%
easier than me

meaning I have to work about 20% harder to get the same sort of result with a chick

Like I said it can become wearing

Kilograms? Are you in Europe?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Kilograms? Are you in Europe?

British but I live in Australia now

 

[oc16]

British but I live in Australia now

Our cousins! Love the Brits

 

[Manure Spherian]

According to @Desdinova, you have to scoop a girl from a stale LTR that she's no longer satisfied with in order to get into another LTR, otherwise, there's probably a reason they are single right?

I believe in a sane society that recognized human nature, we would have most women wifed up before 23 years old.

in New Jersey you would still be taller than 60% of other guys.

Are you in NJ? I lived nearly all my life in one of the boroughs of NYC.

 

[oc16]

I believe in a sane society that recognized human nature, we would have most women wifed up before 23 years old.


Are you in NJ? I lived nearly all my life in one of the boroughs of NYC.

Yes

 

[Gamisch]

Interestingly there are TWO active threads with the exact same question: namely how to meet a (long term) gf and why some plain average men can pull this off . And this question will be posted in different form every two weeks.

That shows me this is basically one of the biggest questions (perpetually single) men have. And I get it. A grown man living in a vacuum of predictably can already predict he WON'T meet women..he'll go to work, come home and maybe get hammered ina bar every now and then NOT getting the ONS he was looking for..

Here are some tips that might help you find such a woman;

- the first and foremost thing is become the ideal version of the ideal partner. Dont wait until you "find her" to start making steps. Dont wait for her to highlight you flaws. Be aware of your weaknesses and work on them.

- be able to answer what do YOU bring to the table. What sets you apart from the any other AFC.

- no matter your results you MUST carry yourself with a "God complex". Why? Because you need to attract. You have ZERO clue about what's the actual glue in "normie " his relationship. Maybe he gets cucked. Maybe he's a millionaire. Maybe they're in the puppy love phase.

-to allude to the previous point: create a woman friendly environment. Take the BEST things life would give you if you would live with a woman. E.g tidiness, hygiene, style, recreational activities and things, full fridge ect ect. Even when you are single.

-needless to say, but make sure you are im shape,both mentally and physically.

- position yourself strategically in the proximity of the type of woman you want. E.g you like rock music? Visit rock concerts. You like pawgs? Visit urban like parties. You like Latinas? Learn to dance salsa. Plan these events year round.

-lastly. Start loving women like you did when you were younger. Dont let all the redpill stories get to you. Love women for what they are, without being a naive chump.

Hope this helps.

 

[Gamisch]

Interestingly there are TWO active threads with the exact same question: namely how to meet a (long term) gf and why some plain average men can pull this off . And this question will be posted in different form every two weeks.

That shows me this is basically one of the biggest questions (perpetually single) men have. And I get it. A grown man living in a vacuum of predictably can already predict he WON'T meet women..he'll go to work, come home and maybe get hammered ina bar every now and then NOT getting the ONS he was looking for..

Here are some tips that might help you find such a woman;

- the first and foremost thing is become the ideal version of the ideal partner. Dont wait until you "find her" to start making steps. Dont wait for her to highlight you flaws. Be aware of your weaknesses and work on them.

- be able to answer what do YOU bring to the table. What sets you apart from the any other AFC.

- no matter your results you MUST carry yourself with a "God complex". Why? Because you need to attract. You have ZERO clue about what's the actual glue in "normie " his relationship. Maybe he gets cucked. Maybe he's a millionaire. Maybe they're in the puppy love phase.

-to allude to the previous point: create a woman friendly environment. Take the BEST things life would give you if you would live with a woman. E.g tidiness, hygiene, style, recreational activities and things, full fridge ect ect. Even when you are single.

-needless to say, but make sure you are im shape,both mentally and physically.

- position yourself strategically in the proximity of the type of woman you want. E.g you like rock music? Visit rock concerts. You like pawgs? Visit urban like parties. You like Latinas? Learn to dance salsa. Plan these events year round.

-lastly. Start loving women like you did when you were younger. Dont let all the redpill stories get to you. Love women for what they are, without being a naive chump.

Hope this helps.

Become the equivalent of an hb8,5 ,the male version.

Picture what type of woman you want. And work towards that. Every- damn- day.

 

[Solomon]

For the longest Pua community and this community scoffed at the notion of social circle
WHy? my thoughts is cause most guys who wanted to bang away ha ha, however I noticed RSD changing their stance on it several years ago but even the "Social Circle Game" they were pushing was superficial and not realastic (Get a group of guys and buy bottles every weekend BORING)
For me I always wanted one,not for the sake of banging chicks but to be around like minded invividuals like myself. I have build social circles from scratch/intergrated myself into one etc rise and repeat. These weren't dorks but fly guys who had local clout, some had bread, some had looks and clout but BROKE, some had money and status but no looks etc. I wanted to surround myself with successfull, motivated invidiuals. Just a word of warning some social circles can be competitive this is why vetting the group is important for you as well.

It's not easy to do espeically once you're 30+ Most guys don't want to do it cause let's be honest it's hard work. Honestly I don't blame them, lot of people out there who only want to hang with ya because of what you can do for them and not because they may rock with you for real. However IMO it's easier to do than hitting the damn club every weekend hoping to get a ONS.

From personal experince I've gone on dates with or dated women would would have never giving me the time of day in bars/clubs. Also Social circles you're pre-vetted you're not a number like on swipe apps or some stranger hitting on her at the bar. Don't build or intergate yourself into a social circle hoping to bang chicks, you should do it because you sincerely enjoy being around a group of people eventually if it's a group of quality people, you will meet a shorty that's LTR material although it's not always the case or guranteed.

Never was a fan of "PUA social circles" you know where a bunch of guys meet up every weekend to "Sarge" those never worked out for me because a lot of PUA dudes are weirods lol

 

[sangheilios]

@oc16

You are totally correct with the comment you made about where these people are NOT meeting lol. You might see things like meetup groups, bars, coed sports leagues, etc. being mentioned as places where single people can meet one another but this just isn't the case. From my observations, most of these people in relationships you see basically had things just line up for them with little effort, almost like it was destiny. They did NOT need to go out of their way to try to meet someone, nor did men need to invest a bunch of time and energy into learning "game" or attending PUA bootcamps or other such nonsense.

In my personal opinion, I think a lot of these people that found someone to enter into a solid, long term relationship got lucky. Speaking for the men specifically, the overwhelming majority of these men do not have some magic "game" or something along those lines, they just got lucky. One interesting idea to consider though is to determine how old these people were when they met each other and where and how they met. I believe the common trend you will find is that they will probably fairly young when they met, as in no later than mid 20s, and probably met through a social circle of some sorts.

Recently I was in Vegas and walking around the strip and also on Freemont street I noticed I was taller and more muscular/fitter looking than the overwhelming majority of men. At the time, I was 225 with a six pack at my height of 6'4". The only exception I noticed was when I saw the Chippendale's dancers doing photos for tourists out on the street, I was actually taller than all of those guys and bigger but not quite as cut. Anyway, I later on stopped and thought about this when I also would noticed average(ish) looking men in relationships and wondered what exactly they did in order to get that while I have chronically gotten nothing.

I am convinced we have an issue in society where a good number of men are perpetually frustrated in the dating market and have nothing to show for their efforts. Meanwhile, there are guys who got lucky finding a decent girl to enter into a relationship with, which in turn takes her off of the market. This basically only leaves literal leftovers and women that are excessively fussy/picky, which makes things even more difficult for the men already struggling or frustrated.

 

[I_have_BDE]

Yes I see it a lot too I think its worse when your actively searching for a good quality woman to settle with

I can remember I was doing some work in a cafe last summer sat outside , this couple arrive and sit on a table next too me the chicks a blonde HB 8 in a cute little summer dress nice painted nails / toes etc attractive girl most guys are going to be proud to have with them

The dude is physically just your average guy maybe like 5 10-11" didn't seem like any sort of chad didnt even look like he went to the gym ..... obviously I dont know all the facts but I was asking myself

a) where the fvck did this guy meet this chick

b) how the fvck has he managed too beat all the other competition for her

And I have to admit I see this type of scenario a lot in day to day life and it does baffle me

I'm about 5'10 so just about average height and I'm seeing guys my height and shorter with what I would consider very very nice quality women

Yet most of the time when I'm going to meet women or approaching single women of the same standard IRL at some stage I will usually get a comment like " wish you were a little taller " maybe not a dealbreaker but I definitely feel like from there I have an uphill battle and it can become wearing

I know sometimes you can get lucky and meet them girls who your attracted too and they are into you from the word go but I will meet one of these maybe once a year if I am lucky its not like I have them beating down my door

I'm usually dealing with women I'm not really that bothered about or I will just withdraw and not deal with any at all

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of it I guess is do with social circles ........if you're pre qualified in a circle you definitely get an easier ride With the females in that circle you get more leeway for minor mistakes , you have time to build up familiarity , you get endorsements from others in the group and physical traits seem to matter far less

I built up a strong social network in my gym last year before I moved and I can say it definitely helped getting other chicks in the gym interested in me

Dating shouldn't really be highly reliant on others opinons or perception of you as a person but I feel it definitely it is the key

How old are you and what age women you're going for?