The Tradeoffs of having a Girlfriend

[Gamisch]

I really want to make a separate topic for how black men can succeed in the dating world if they prefer to date interracial. I know exactly what you mean and there is a way to combat this too. However, due to the nature of this site it might receive a lot of negative push back.

I speak openly about this without intention to separate people, but rather to teach / prepare and ofcourse learn from the potential feedback. If i was a white dude who likes "baddies" I'd pay attention to this topic...

In dating black culture has always been a predictor of the future. At this point when I say "pookie " I obviously mean a dude like the rapper Future, but any man from any race can be a pookie. Tyler (Brad Pitt) in fight club is a white Pookie.

Women from all races are somewhat fascinated by the brazen and unapologetic ways of black women. Believe me, women in places with strict Sharia law would LOVE to twerk for the world to see. Female nature doesn't limit itself to race...Simultaneously black culture (despite the SO MANY flaws) is always a front runner for fashion, music and yes, dating.


Best example of the latter is that this whole redpill shyte is something black men grow up with. Still they mostly end up as BLEUPILLED ALPHA BETA THUGS. Worst of all worlds..


I am derailing the thread . I am looking forward to your thread and your solutions.

 

[Gamisch]

Your speaking from experience!?

Ofcourse I do.

Its the journey of a man. We are inherently bluepilled and thus we will invest and lse it all due to a woman/ women. Gotta live amd learn..

 

[Gamisch]

Thanks, that makes sense. Although I guess that rule would apply to black men when they're with women from other backgrounds rather than a black man with a black woman.

Well, secretly black men( especially sub/without height, hair ,looks, money and status, physique, mouthpiece ,style and swag and as Tupac said" a lil bit of thuuuuug in em") will struggle to get black women. Why?

Because, similar to our asian and Indian brothers, our WOMEN are fetished and sought after by ALL other races as well. (Maybe black dudes have it a bit easier than other aid races tho...) black women for example KNOW they can ne overweight, yet there will ALWAYS be a Captain save a 304 from another race who'll accept her BS. Latinas playing the same game imo.

Most black men who are not "from the hood" and grew up with multiple races will end up with mostly women from other races. We dont do marriage, let alone ARRANGED marriages.

Black women are trendsetters lol. In my culture everything that happens now always happened out in the open..nowadays we see Stacy from the suburb acting like that as well...

 

[TheManMasenko]

I really want to make a separate topic for how black men can succeed in the dating world if they prefer to date interracial. I know exactly what you mean and there is a way to combat this too. However, due to the nature of this site it might receive a lot of negative push back.

Make it bro. I'm all ears for this...as a black guy, I've experienced women only want to f*** and treat me like intermission d***. No relationships or they "play" the relationship role in disguise as of me exactly being intermission d***.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Thanks for the responses. @Hamurabimbi @Millard Fillmore

I don’t want to pester you guys with questions. I’m just curious. And you don’t have to answer. What are typical reasons for these breakups?

Something major shifted in my brain after I met my wife and had children. I had a few girlfriends and casual sex in my 20s. After we formed a family, and as time went on, I came to view women for relationships (not with me specifically as I am a faithful man) in two categories only: marriage and motherhood or flings, not much in between.

I can understand a middle-aged man who perhaps had kids already wanting a committed serious life partner, which is sort of like an unofficial marriage, not what I’d call bf and gf.

When I think of “girlfriend,” I get a tired feeling, and think, “My god. Having to be on call, have this person on my mind, worry about her well-being, headaches and heartache, and having her lean on me for entertainment.” And all for it to end because it was likely a mismatch from the beginning.

But yes, to each his own. Again, thanks for the input.

You're on to something. A couple of my gf's in the past were, in the end, mentally taxing for me. But that was more because my mindset was not right for a LTR and they knew it. So probably bad on me for getting into one in the first place, but at the time they seemed promising and I don't regret the experiences. They ended because I did get worn out, like you say. Not to say they weren't to blame too. I guess that doesn't paint a great picture but looking back I had fun, though I'm glad I'm out of those lol.

I'm in my late 40s now and much more zen than I was. So maybe you already knew what I learned through experience. I've also gone through long stretches of plate spinning and really had a blast. Met and fukked some great women from all over the world. So I've lived both lives. Even today, my gf fits me well - we're both very independent and confident (but she's not a bytch). So she knows I will go out when I want to and even flirt and talk to other women. End of day though she treats me like a king and I'm happy. If things go south then I'll be fine.

Even so, I generally advocate for guys to spin plates and don't think of 100% monogamy as compatible with human nature.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

When I was 20-30y and didn't want to settle down, women would joke about my 'commitment issues', but being together with someone for sixteen years and having two kids with her kind of settled that issue.
Now they understand why I'm not eager to be living with anyone anymore post divorce.

In my 20s I actually thought I SHOULD have a girlfriend, like there was something missing from my CV. So when I'd fukk girls I really liked I came off a bit needy afterwards which drove them off. Ironically this made me move on to banging other girls which made me more of a player and probably saved me from premature commitment. The good thing is I was attractive enough to get those girls into bed at least.

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

Having the right girlfriend is extremely powerful. It's just knowing and finding the right one

 

[member162951]

Something major shifted in my brain after I met my wife and had children. I had a few girlfriends and casual sex in my 20s. After we formed a family, and as time went on, I came to view women for relationships (not with me specifically as I am a faithful man) in two categories only: marriage and motherhood or flings, not much in between.

@Manure Spherian ,
was your wife at one point in time your 'girlfriend' before you married her?

Excuse my ignorance but other than an arranged marriage, would not a couple have to go through a period of being 'boyfriend/girlfriend' in order to determine if they're both the right match for each other in marriage?

How did you know your wife would be a great wife and mother if she weren't your 'girlfriend' first? At least for a time while learning about each other, sharing experiences together?

I agree with many of your posts but a bit confused by this one, Can you clarify?

P.S. I'm female.

 

[member162951]

Having the right girlfriend is extremely powerful. It's just knowing and finding the right one

I agree with this^. Having a girlfriend is the worst when it's the wrong girlfriend.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Almost every Chad or Chadlite I know is in a relationship. I'm not surprised as women are relentless in trying to lockdown the guy they want.

 

[Manure Spherian]

as your wife at one point in time your 'girlfriend' before you married her?

Yes, though I knew after the first two dates that she was wife material and a woman that had me hesitant in having sex quickly. At that point of my life, 30 years old, that I wanted to start a family and contrary to popular belief, despite being a man, I had a biological clock. That is, I did not want to be an old, gray and physically-weak father while my kids were still very young. So I no longer dated to be a perennial "boyfriend" to her or anyone else. I actually purposely held off from sex for four months (I think it was that amount) even though I could have had it sooner because I did not want the situation to turn into just two people having fun. I met her parents quickly and realized they were decent, hospitable and caring people.

So yes, perhaps we can apply to the title of "boyfriend and girlfriend" from the time we met until engagement, but that was a relationship in which both of us had the same longterm goal of family formation and marriage, not the sort of arrangements I've been discussing here, that from people's own admission, sometimes involve mismatched people and mismatched families who instinctively know no consequential life outcomes will happen from them. Again, that's their business, but also why there is no in-between (girlfriend and boyfriend) in my personal view of relationships: flings or marriage.

I'm actually not against softly-arranged marriage. I am not for the sort of hard-arranged marriages in some Eastern societies in which everything involved is based on bloodlines, resources, and pragmatism, and maybe even mates who hardly know each other from a hole in the wall. What I mean by soft-arrangement, or matchmaking, is introduction through friendship or community ties. You know, so-and-so know so-and-so and they think two people might be a good fit, arrange a date for them, and then the two of them see if they are a good fit for one another, which is far different than the dating anarchy we see today (which is good for flings for those who can get them).

Though I am not a religious man, I can see what Martin Luther meant when he said, "The word and works of God is quite clear, that women were made to be wives or prostitutes".