Why do most of the guys lose themselves in the game and how to avoid that pitfall?

[DoofusDonutDude]

Been going through a lot of the old RSD stuff. Checking out some of the news PUAs stuff on the market.

Can't shake the feeling that when you look at most PUA coaches , old ones or new ones, they look kind of ...jaded? Tired? Like ..something's sucked the juice out of them.

I mean, no doubt, they're all good at the nailing women stuff absolutely down but it seems living a high and super stimulating lifestyle has left them kind of..burnt out?

Like you know the stuff with dopamine- too much of it , leaves you with too little dopamine on a day to day basis - less drive and less motivation and less energy. Less satisfaction.

During going through all the PUA stuff i also noticed one more pattern - a lot of time guys who get start getting success in game go absolutely bonkers with it and lose themselves in it.
Gaming women takes over their lives, some of the mess up their careers, their mental health , become total debauchees with no semblance of boundaries -- its like they go too far overcompensating from the time when they were unsuccessful with women..it's kind of almost like a drug to them.

The question is why does this happen - why do these guys lose themselves in the game, let it overtake their lives? How can we avoid falling for the same mistake as them ?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Game, PUA, and the Pills aren't distinctive things anymore due to Gen Z being more glued to the internet.

 

[zekko]

I've always thought PUA is ultimately unsatisfying. I know everyone will not agree with me on that, but it's basically hedonism and ultimately hollow. At some point you will want something more meaningful, or at least I did.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I've always thought PUA is ultimately unsatisfying. I know everyone will not agree with me on that, but it's basically hedonism and ultimately hollow. At some point you will want something more meaningful, or at least I did.

Wise men use PUA as training wheels to get them out of the hole they were stuck in and learn to navigate the dating scene without them. Fools, fail to see to PUA as training wheels and use it as the book of God forever.

 

[Solomon]

Between 2008-2013 this was me, I became obsessed with reading field reports and than testing the same stuff out in the field. If you read my post from the first 5 years I was brash, ****y, immature and thought Game was all there is

You learn really quickly there is nothing spiritually fulfilling going to the club every weekend trying to smash random chicks, yes at first the journey is fun but it becomes depressing and lonely. The Game actually lead me back to God, and the gospel of Jesus Christ the son of God.,

Why do some guys let it overtake time? because they make it their lives and become obsessed. IMO focus on God become obsessed with Jesus and he will put everything in place

 

[Slowhandluke]

PUA is just a game. A facade. It's not really "you"... it's similar to the corporate rat race. there is no real meaning. put on a happy face for the boss/clients... do what you are suppose to do. get paid...

same with pua. do what you are suppose to do. put on a happy face. get laid.. rinse and repeat. only a psychopath could enjoy that game longterm.

I'm not sure about focusing on God. but for most people, they want a higher calling.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Put a kid in a candy store and he will become diabetic if he doesn't know restraint.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Problem is the types of women that are susceptible to PUA and easy sex aren't really the types of women you are going to want to be associating with long term

They will be sleeping with multiple other men , they will rarely be very feminine and they will rarely add any kind of value to your life

Yea its a nice dopamine hit for a hour or two pumping some random pu$$y but theres nothing else there and once its done your kind of left wondering what the fvck the point was

I got a sloot over last October we both knew exactly what we were there for , we had a bottle of wine and then started fvcking we did pretty much everything including anal

The next day I was just like wtf am I doing , she was like a HB6 at best I literally have zero intrest in her

at 30 I am done with slots , time for me to get a wifey

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

Problem is the types of women that are susceptible to PUA and easy sex aren't really the types of women you are going to want to be associating with long term

They will be sleeping with multiple other men , they will rarely be very feminine and they will rarely add any kind of value to your life

Yea its a nice dopamine hit for a hour or two pumping some random pu$$y but theres nothing else there and once its done your kind of left wondering what the fvck the point was

I got a sloot over last October we both knew exactly what we were there for , we had a bottle of wine and then started fvcking we did pretty much everything including anal

The next day I was just like wtf am I doing , she was like a HB6 at best I literally have zero intrest in her

at 30 I am done with slots , time for me to get a wifey

You know i just came across this thing David DeAngelo said going though some of his stuff -

"The men who are singlehandedly focused on getting laid are empty people.

And they women the attract are unhealthy women.

While men who have discovered their purpose, what they want to do, they paradoxically attract more amazing women"

 

[Mike32ct]

PUA can be addictive sort of like gambling. If you win, you want more. If you lose, you want to recoup your losses and then some.

Back in the day, I did the same thing. Had a good night at the club? I wanted to go back. Had a ****ty night at the club? I wanted to try again and “redeem myself” lol.

 

[BadBoy89]

You know i just came across this thing David DeAngelo said going though some of his stuff -

"The men who are singlehandedly focused on getting laid are empty people.

And they women the attract are unhealthy women.

While men who have discovered their purpose, what they want to do, they paradoxically attract more amazing women"

That’s ridiculous. Who said they are empty? I say they are smart.

When a man is younger, he should be single-handedly focused on getting laid. Why? Because if he doesn’t, society will crush him when he is older that he “doesn’t have much experIence with women.” We even see it on Sosuave, posters tell other posters “You are too nice to women, you should be focused on getting laid, women are attracted to men like that.” David DeAngelo “A man is empty if he does that.”

David, you are an idiot. I put the hottest 27 year old girl in front of you to get laid for one night. You are not going to take it? You are going to want to ‘connect with her”, “build a relationship“?

Get lost.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

The main issue i see are men making their lifes revolve around the procurement of pvssy while they still live in their moms basement.

Thats way to much importance on fvcking.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

When a man is younger, he should be single-handedly focused on getting laid. Why? Because if he doesn’t, society will crush him when he is older that he “doesn’t have much experIence with women.”

Personally I never do anything because of what society says. All of my lays were something I personally desired. Couldn't care less about what society thinks of my experience.

 

[Bingo-Player]

That’s ridiculous. Who said they are empty? I say they are smart.

When a man is younger, he should be single-handedly focused on getting laid. Why? Because if he doesn’t, society will crush him when he is older that he “doesn’t have much experIence with women.” We even see it on Sosuave, posters tell other posters “You are too nice to women, you should be focused on getting laid, women are attracted to men like that.” David DeAngelo “A man is empty if he does that.”

David, you are an idiot. I put the hottest 27 year old girl in front of you to get laid for one night. You are not going to take it? You are going to want to ‘connect with her”, “build a relationship“?

Get lost.

Yea but theres a line every man will eventually cross where the casual sex becomes useless

You need a stable woman to raise your children , a stable woman isnt going to sleep with you within 24 hours of meeting you even if shes head over heels for you and your making her tingle

a woman who is truly worthy will make you wait a couple of dates AT LEAST because she knows how important it is to protect her feminine nature

Truly feminine women will not sleep with any man under the sun

 

[B80]

PUA can be addictive sort of like gambling. If you win, you want more. If you lose, you want to recoup your losses and then some.

Back in the day, I did the same thing. Had a good night at the club? I wanted to go back. Had a ****ty night at the club? I wanted to try again and “redeem myself” lol.

Not that I gamble, but like any 'addiction' the main buzz (dopamine) comes from the chase, build up, process ... rather than outcome, as such.

Read some Good books on the subject (of addictions...).

Some realize this or acknowledge they feel empty or hallow, self hatred etc after doing it a long time and make concerted effort to change their ways/lifestyle. Whilst some find it much harder to break out tge cycle... even though tgey get nothing/little out of it. Because they're addicted to the chase... process.

Chasing the dragon so to speak... hoping to get the same feeling they did when first embarking upon their preferred poison.

 

[Mike32ct]

Not that I gamble, but like any 'addiction' the main buzz (dopamine) comes from the chase, build up, process ... rather than outcome, as such.

Read some Good books on the subject (of addictions...).

Some realize this or acknowledge they feel empty or hallow, self hatred etc after doing it a long time and make concerted effort to change their ways/lifestyle. Whilst some find it much harder to break out tge cycle... even though tgey get nothing/little out of it. Because they're addicted to the chase... process.

Chasing the dragon so to speak... hoping to get the same feeling they did when first embarking upon their preferred poison.

Yeah most addictions work the same way.

I don’t gamble; I just used that as an example. And I don’t do PUA anymore.

 

[B80]

Yeah most addictions work the same way.

I don’t gamble; I just used that as an example. And I don’t do PUA anymore.

Yeah. My thing was alcohol/coke (socialky).

Regardless of what tge addiction/bad habit is. Most after initial 'honeymoon' phase see it fir what it is. Ultimately negative, downsides ouweigh positives. Even if subconsciously. As that's where hollow feeling, self hatred comes from. As yiu know it's futile in scheme of things and/or detrimental to your life/more meaningful pursuits or purpose.

When I first got into drugs, loved it and lifestyle. Going to after parties, banging random hot women at weekends.

After a year or so, just felt awful rest of the week. Obviously not sleeping and consuming load of sh1t didn't help, but saw it for what it was. Still took another year or so to get out of it though, as sure enough, come Friday night I'd be buzzing at tge prospect of doing it all over again and fear of missing out.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

Most PUA "coaches" are just con artists. Some of the stuff works on low-quality women of course, but you can only fake until you make it so far. I will say that some of the tactics are useful for guys who know next to nothing about dating/pickup at all - but not really much past that point. Ultimately, your most success comes from you having a rich life and having a lot going on - high SMV if you will. PUA tactics are just that - tactics. These "coaches" are just looking for a quick bit of your money.

 

[CornbreadFed]

OP,

Most PUA "coaches" are just con artists. Some of the stuff works on low-quality women of course, but you can only fake until you make it so far. I will say that some of the tactics are useful for guys who know next to nothing about dating/pickup at all - but not really much past that point. Ultimately, your most success comes from you having a rich life and having a lot going on - high SMV if you will. PUA tactics are just that - tactics. These "coaches" are just looking for a quick bit of your money.

PUA should be used as training wheels for men with little to no experience with women that need to get out of the house ASAP! The problem I am noticing is that men are not taking these training wheels off due to internet influence and paranoia of women also being reconfirmed by the internet/social media and the women they approach. As a result, you have a guy with a decent lay count, but with a lot of failed short fling relationships, trauma damage from women, and still having the same issues with women as a novice would.

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

That’s ridiculous. Who said they are empty? I say they are smart.

When a man is younger, he should be single-handedly focused on getting laid. Why? Because if he doesn’t, society will crush him when he is older that he “doesn’t have much experIence with women.” We even see it on Sosuave, posters tell other posters “You are too nice to women, you should be focused on getting laid, women are attracted to men like that.” David DeAngelo “A man is empty if he does that.”

David, you are an idiot. I put the hottest 27 year old girl in front of you to get laid for one night. You are not going to take it? You are going to want to ‘connect with her”, “build a relationship“?

Get lost.

This is so silly i will not even bother with a response. See you 10 years later when you're broke, fat, still at the singles bar and probably with a std and nothing but your "lay count" to brag about to people who didn't give a **** and think you're a washed up loser because you were single-handedly focused on getting laid in the prime years of your life.