Adios Online Dating

[DarwinTaurus]

Last night, I was in bed, and alternating between reading and watching Tik Tok, when I reached a sudden epiphany that concluded in the decision that I'm completely over online dating apps. Perhaps what tipped me over the edge was watching a few clips on Tik Tok about dating. I personally don't view the swipe apps as healthy, because they can easily become time consuming. Admittedly, I did meet my last partner there (on Bumble), and have had a few dates arranged via the apps (the usual suspects: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge), although they always seem to inevitably lead to one or two dates and done.

Why, in my case, I think that they are unhealthy specific to me, is that I can rely on them as a crux, that results in me not approaching women in real life. I have to admit, I'm not either confident or good at this, and confidence will probably be an issue going forward in the short term, considering that I have given up drinking (52 days sober today).

Even though I no longer drink, I still love going to pubs and bars, I just now drink zero alcohol beers, and I mainly go because I love listening to live music, and have a number of friends that are musicians. I generally fly solo when I go out, which doesn't bother me, as I like to do my own thing, but I find that makes approaching even harder, as I think 99% of women don't go out alone.

Has anyone here had a similar experience of: giving up alcohol, going out alone, giving up online dating and exploring cold approaching again? An advice or suggestions? I'm honestly a lit bit over it at the moment, although I know I need to push myself out of my comfort zone. And as a few people here know about where I live, I'm also hindered by a small city and population, and an environment where everyone seems to know everyone, or at least three degrees of separation...

 

[Solomon]

When I think of the worse women I've met or bad dating experince, all women had one thing in common irregardless of race, age, ethnicity, location etc. I met them of OLD. Personally I only use OLD if I'm in a drought however cold approaching in the club is not realastic for a guy working 4-16 hours a day on his own business at the age of 40. I found cold approaching women at Exclusive events, Art festvials, Fashion events, Boat parties etc to be far more fruitful than OLD or even approaching women at a nightclub (At Fashion events the ratio is 3:1)

I highly recommend if you do not drink and you want to meet a higher caliber woman these places bring in women who are hot, also a bit more cultured. Don't take my word for it try it yourself

 

[DarwinTaurus]

When I think of the worse women I've met or bad dating experince, all women had one thing in common irregardless of race, age, ethnicity, location etc. I met them of OLD. Personally I only use OLD if I'm in a drought however cold approaching in the club is not realastic for a guy working 4-16 hours a day on his own business at the age of 40. I found cold approaching women at Exclusive events, Art festvials, Fashion events, Boat parties etc to be far more fruitful than OLD or even approaching women at a nightclub (At Fashion events the ratio is 3:1)

I highly recommend if you do not drink and you want to meet a higher caliber woman these places bring in women who are hot, also a bit more cultured. Don't take my word for it try it yourself

Thanks for the advice. Like you, I work long hours... 12 hour shifts, but the benefit is, I get 4 days off every 4 days. I definitely am attracted to cultured women, as I believe that I am intellectually sophisticated myself. Unfortunately, Darwin doesn't really have many high-brow cultured events, although I should start to look harder.

 

[Solomon]

Thanks for the advice. Like you, I work long hours... 12 hour shifts, but the benefit is, I get 4 days off every 4 days. I definitely am attracted to cultured women, as I believe that I am intellectually sophisticated myself. Unfortunately, Darwin doesn't really have many high-brow cultured events, although I should start to look harder.

We are in our 40s the bars and the clubs are for the young ones. I know people disagree with me on this but I never wanted to be the old guy at the club looking for girls half my age I always thought it was cringe when I use to see a guy who looked like he could be my uncle wearing a hawaiian shirt 60 pounds overweight trying to do the cha cha slide with young chicks lol

I think any event that is a bit more posh tends to attract a different type of woman sure a lot of them will be boujee but some of these events also have the coolest women because they are not expecting to be hit on, so their guards are down and they are more social compared to other venues.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

We are in our 40s the bars and the clubs are for the young ones. I know people disagree with me on this but I never wanted to be the old guy at the club looking for girls half my age I always thought it was cringe when I use to see a guy who looked like he could be my uncle wearing a hawaiian shirt 60 pounds overweight trying to do the cha cha slide with young chicks lol

Yes, I know what you mean. I also have never wanted to be 'that guy', which is why when I head out, I'm just happy to listen to the live music, and my friends playing.

It's going to be interesting in a few weeks time, it's my Niece's 21st birthday, and I am certain, she will have many amazingly beautiful friends there. But it is a family event, and secondly, I would be old enough to be her friends father. So, I'm not going to be that 'creepy uncle'! Hahaha...

 

[CountSuavula]

Online dating gives me psychological distress. I usually last 1-2 weeks and then I notice mental stress from the app. In 1-2 weeks I collect a few numbers and then I just delete it and then feel better instantly.

I have noticed success getting fast phone number closes on the apps by just texting honestly: Hey I plan to delete this app if you send your number I would love to chat.

A lot of women are also sick of the apps too.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I think dating apps have seen their best days and are now mostly considered a joke

The women left on them are socially awkward, have impossible standards and are sub par quality themselves which is why they are single

( usually corporate career women that think they are above all men until one day they wake up and realise they are Lonely and miserable )

The majority of men on them also tend to be socially awkward or severely lacking in confidence meaning they have little option other than to use them and to try and pander to the women on them ( which in turn seems to annoy women more )

its not a healthy mix of dating dynamics and often leads to total failure which is why people become so frustrated with them

You can meet women through cold approach I have done it but you need a lot of luck and again as you get older it inevitably will get harder to actually find women suitable to approach

Bar approaches again are the old favourite and can work but the quality of women that are hanging around in bars past 30 can be questionable and are likely just looking for casual sex

You're going to run into a lot of scraps nobody else wants so you need to screen very very well

Building social circles past 30 is not easy and can be daunting it requires a lot of strategy and social skills that will take work to develop but realistically for a single bloke in his 40's or 50's its probably the only route

 

[The Duke]

Match Groups stock price has dropped from a high of $170 to $35 in the past 3 years. Tinder CEO admits to problems. Bumble is laying off people. Bumble got rid of their founder at the helm. She about bankrupted Bumble. You have seen them push people to pay for play.

All these things tell me their business model is struggling. The tone on SS has changed as well.

I don't see them ever recovering unless they change their business models.

Id rather get a number from a girl in public. More fun, less b.s.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Match Groups stock price has dropped from a high of $170 to $35 in the past 3 years. Tinder CEO admits to problems. Bumble is laying off people. Bumble got rid of their founder at the helm. She about bankrupted Bumble. You have seen them push people to pay for play.

All these things tell me their business model is struggling. The tone on SS has changed as well.

I don't see them ever recovering unless they change their business models.

Id rather get a number from a girl in public. More fun, less b.s.

The silver lining is that Match likely doesn't have the cash or shareholder support to buy up any more up-and-coming apps.

 

[Robert28]

Those sites that are popping up all over called “are we dating the same guy” is finishing off what’s left of online dating. They’re finishing off dating period. Research them, they’re bad.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

Those sites that are popping up all over called “are we dating the same guy” is finishing off what’s left of online dating. They’re finishing off dating period. Research them, they’re bad.

Wow, I had never heard of that before... then again, I've been off of Facebook for over 3 years (thinking of restarting).

Wiki Article

 

[The Duke]

I tried to join one of those "are we dating the same guy sites" . I was denied entry and I would assume because I was male. Imagine that!

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I have always said that anyone active with online dating is pure desperation. Men shouldn’t be on that sh1t. The one who enjoys their solitude , chooses their company selectively better and that one person that doesn’t know how to be alone, fishes for whatever. Innate encounters in person are more organic, have more spark and longevity

 

[Bingo-Player]

The silver lining is that Match likely doesn't have the cash or shareholder support to buy up any more up-and-coming apps.

Ive noticed a lot of new ones springing up with various different novelty features but I honestly believe the entire concept has run its course

In the very early stages it worked people were more naive there was a big volume of both male and females who wanted too try it big novelty effect of " swipe for sex " tinder was the trail blazer and it was all free

back in 2015 it was genuinely good fun but even then you needed a high churn rate I was getting like 100 matches a week back then

then all the apps realised they need to make money and have done so at the expense of user experience , I mean who in their right mind is going to be paying £50 a month to match with women who think they are too good for everyone

On top of that during the same period women gained insane amounts of attention through apps like TikTok / instagram/ Facebook snapchat / only fans the smart ones realised that being on these apps was a fvcking waste of time

Between 2010 & now its been a wonderful time to be a pretty single woman you've had the world at your feet

But I feel now the party's over , the original era of IT girls are entering their 30's and all of a sudden I think are realising being single / childless and lonely isn't really worth 500 instagram likes and thirsty guys flooding the dm's isnt all it cracked up to be

I'm noticing a lot of men are starting to be become very disengaged with women and dating there is just too much nonsense

I do feel we are very very close to an infliction point if we aren't already there

 

[The Duke]

 

[DarwinTaurus]

I have always said that anyone active with online dating is pure desperation. Men shouldn’t be on that sh1t. The one who enjoys their solitude , chooses their company selectively better and that one person that doesn’t know how to be alone, fishes for whatever. Innate encounters in person are more organic, have more spark and longevity

I agree, as ironically I am pretty much most of the time a solitary person. A lone wolf so to speak, however, I do enjoy female company.

 

[SW15]

Online dating gives me psychological distress.

It caused me psychological distress too. I have found that I am mentally healthier when I solely focus on real life methods to start interactions.

I think dating apps have seen their best days and are now mostly considered a joke

The women left on them are socially awkward, have impossible standards and are sub par quality themselves which is why they are single

( usually corporate career women that think they are above all men until one day they wake up and realise they are Lonely and miserable )

A woman in her 30s/early 40s who is never married and childless is going to be a corporate career woman, regardless of whether or not she uses a dating app or not. Dating apps do tend to be havens for 30+ career oriented childless women.

 

[CountSuavula]

The poisoning of relationships was not a freak accident. It was done methodically and deliberately.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I agree, as ironically I am pretty much most of the time a solitary person. A lone wolf so to speak, however, I do enjoy female company.

I agree with your take. Just recently curiosity has tempted me to strike up a profile on one of those OG or new dating apps since I have had to surrender some plates back to the pound.
I wouldn’t even know where to start to making a profile. I just end up reading a book, walking my dog or some sh1t.

As a fellow lone wolf who sneaks around in the shadows, I also savor quality female company.
I don't put women on a pedestal, but my solution to that wasn't to go the absolute reverse and downplay their importance in my life.
I love women and the way dominating them, pleasing them and being loved and pleased by them makes me feel. There's no denying that, it is of what makes any sane man’s life worth living and if I am honest, the ultimate driving force behind most of what I do.
I am not after a quick fvck but the entire experience of a female and everything it brings, but realistically few women can deliver that. I don't just want her to desire me sexually, but to admire me, respect me, be besotted by me, taken by me, submit to me, worship me as a sex god, be infatuated by me. It takes a gentle, mentally resilient, intelligent and thoughtful feminine woman by nature to be able to do all those things, not just any old club rat indoctrinated by a career.

 

[MatureDJ]

Last night, I was in bed, and alternating between reading and watching Tik Tok, when I reached a sudden epiphany that concluded in the decision that I'm completely over online dating apps. Perhaps what tipped me over the edge was watching a few clips on Tik Tok about dating. I personally don't view the swipe apps as healthy, because they can easily become time consuming. Admittedly, I did meet my last partner there (on Bumble), and have had a few dates arranged via the apps (the usual suspects: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge), although they always seem to inevitably lead to one or two dates and done.

Why, in my case, I think that they are unhealthy specific to me, is that I can rely on them as a crux, that results in me not approaching women in real life. I have to admit, I'm not either confident or good at this, and confidence will probably be an issue going forward in the short term, considering that I have given up drinking (52 days sober today).

Even though I no longer drink, I still love going to pubs and bars, I just now drink zero alcohol beers, and I mainly go because I love listening to live music, and have a number of friends that are musicians. I generally fly solo when I go out, which doesn't bother me, as I like to do my own thing, but I find that makes approaching even harder, as I think 99% of women don't go out alone.

Has anyone here had a similar experience of: giving up alcohol, going out alone, giving up online dating and exploring cold approaching again? An advice or suggestions? I'm honestly a lit bit over it at the moment, although I know I need to push myself out of my comfort zone. And as a few people here know about where I live, I'm also hindered by a small city and population, and an environment where everyone seems to know everyone, or at least three degrees of separation...

You're in Chadstralia; it had never even STARTED for you.