Women and jealousy

[Robert28]

I went to a bar last night with a girl friend of mine. This girl rejected me in the past, we’ve known each other for years but she’s cool and we don’t hangout that often. While we were out I kept noticing other women walking by me making eye contact, several would touch me as they went by me (almost an excuse to brush my arm or back as they passed). My friend was picking up on this and you could see the jealousy building up in her. Keep in mind this girl isn’t interested in me AT ALL. We’ve kissed a few times back in the day but that’s it. She’s made it clear she wasn’t into me. But what’s funny is how women get jealous of other women showing interest even when they don’t like you lol
When we left she couldn’t help herself, she blurted out “those women in that place sure were fresh with you”. I knew what she meant and I just played it off “what do you mean fresh?”. “Omg don’t tell me you didn’t see what they were doing!”
I guess I didn’t realize how good social proof she was but last night proved she was good for that, the only problem is I didn’t think she was the jealous type so I doubt she’d make a good wingwoman.

 

[BeExcellent]

That's a bummer. I alwas have a blast winging for male friends. Especially if the guy can dance. I'm the "show pony" in that case. I get to go get my dance on and I help showcase my friend for other women. And I get out of the way when the guy starts chatting with a woman.

Some women are attention w h o r e s such that they cannot share the stage. This girl is not interested in you but she got weird about other chicks checking you out? That is attention seeking and also some insecurity or immaturity.

Men get social proof when they show up with a good looking woman. Women, being the catty creatures we are, wonder "Hmmm. What's HE got that attracted HER....." and they get curious.

Has this girl (your friend) think she likes you now? Opposite sex friendships can be tricky that way if one party wants more.....

 

[SW15]

I went to a bar last night with a girl friend of mine. This girl rejected me in the past, we’ve known each other for years but she’s cool and we don’t hangout that often.

Opposite sex friendships can be tricky that way if one party wants more.....

She would be borderline of a friend or an acquaintance. It's not a strong relationship.

I would NEVER spend any time with any woman who rejected me on a romantic approach.

It's good that you don't see her that often. She's not a good person.

I agree with @BeExcellent that opposite sex friendships can be tricky. I've not maintained any over the years. There are occasional acquaintance type relationships that I have with some female co-workers from past jobs. These are females I might see in person about 2 times per year at best and we do talk about non-working topics since we are no longer co-workers.

I tend to have sexual feelings for most women I interact with during my leisure time. My interactions with women tend to be sex or nothing.

I alwas have a blast winging for male friends.

There's one thing that I would have liked to have had a different outcome. I think at least one of the longer term girlfriends (later wives) of my male friends or acquaintances could have introduced me at some point to an unattached female friend or acquaintance that they had. It was disappointing that outcome never materialized.

While we were out I kept noticing other women walking by me making eye contact, several would touch me as they went by me (almost an excuse to brush my arm or back as they passed). My friend was picking up on this and you could see the jealousy building up in her. Keep in mind this girl isn’t interested in me AT ALL. We’ve kissed a few times back in the day but that’s it. She’s made it clear she wasn’t into me. But what’s funny is how women get jealous of other women showing interest even when they don’t like you lol
When we left she couldn’t help herself, she blurted out “those women in that place sure were fresh with you”. I knew what she meant and I just played it off “what do you mean fresh?”. “Omg don’t tell me you didn’t see what they were doing!”

This girl is not interested in you but she got weird about other chicks checking you out? That is attention seeking and also some insecurity or immaturity.

This borderline female friend / acquaintance is toxic. Sex or GTFO. She needs to GTFO now based on her behavior this past weekend.

It is impressive that you got more attention from her presence near you. Since I don't keep female platonic friends, this has never happened like that for me.

I guess I didn’t realize how good social proof she was but last night proved she was good for that, the only problem is I didn’t think she was the jealous type so I doubt she’d make a good wingwoman.

Men get social proof when they show up with a good looking woman. Women, being the catty creatures we are, wonder "Hmmm. What's HE got that attracted HER....." and they get curious.

She would not make a good wing woman. In fact, she proved that she's not a good person this weekend.

There was good social proof this weekend. That was the most impressive thing. In nightlife venues, most men are with their male friends. Few men show up alone to make approaches in nightlife venues.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Just typical human reaction, not even exclusively female.

I've encountered this too.

She’s made it clear she wasn’t into me.

If she had to make it clear, then on some level she is into you. (Short of you not getting the message the first time.) Doesn't mean anything will happen though.

Next time she comments on it just say "man you've been really flirty lately." Leave it at that.

 

[Dr.Suave]

“Those women in that place sure were fresh with you”.

"I cant blame them for having good taste"

 

[Robert28]

Her and I go back a good many years but it’s never been an actual friendship. I think I’m her backup plan but I’m not sure. Her and I went on a few dates like 10 years ago, we met through mutual friends. She wasn’t feeling me and said as much. The thing is she always finds a way to hit me up a few times a year. Matter of fact the she asked me on a date last year out of the blue. What brought that on? She was out with some of her co-workers and I bumped into her when I was with some friends of mine. When I walked away those co-workers were like “girl who is that?! Yall are just friends? You need to ask him on a date now! He’s very attractive!” So I agreed to the date, we had a great time and kissed several times during the date. I thought everything was leading somewhere and she was seeing me differently. Nope. She said nothing changed for her after I basically had to ask why she was acting weird a few weeks later.
The thing is this girl won’t give up. She’s said she’s not interested many times but she hits me up every once in awhile and asks to make plans, most times I can’t but every now and then I’ll oblige her. I’ve made it clear I won’t be in her friendzone and I’m good with just being a casual friend you see once in awhile if I don’t have anything going on. But when we get together and I ACT like a friend, she hates it. She fishes for compliments and I won’t give them, she notices other girls checking me out, she just acts like she’s trying to secure me as some backup plan but I won’t get close enough to her to be a solid one. She even tells me how “everyone says you are very handsome and that we look good together, I just don’t know though how I feel”. And I’m thinking “b!tch you’ve made it clear, I’m not interested in you like that anymore, I’m just being a friend so quit trying to reject me all the time.” Like I said, very cool girl, but I’m glad we never dated but I do think she likes me deep down despite what she admits. I just think it’s weird how she tells me about all these people in her ear but yet nothing ever happens with us.

 

[BeExcellent]

Her and I go back a good many years but it’s never been an actual friendship. I think I’m her backup plan but I’m not sure. Her and I went on a few dates like 10 years ago, we met through mutual friends. She wasn’t feeling me and said as much. The thing is she always finds a way to hit me up a few times a year. Matter of fact the she asked me on a date last year out of the blue. What brought that on? She was out with some of her co-workers and I bumped into her when I was with some friends of mine. When I walked away those co-workers were like “girl who is that?! Yall are just friends? You need to ask him on a date now! He’s very attractive!” So I agreed to the date, we had a great time and kissed several times during the date. I thought everything was leading somewhere and she was seeing me differently. Nope. She said nothing changed for her after I basically had to ask why she was acting weird a few weeks later.
The thing is this girl won’t give up. She’s said she’s not interested many times but she hits me up every once in awhile and asks to make plans, most times I can’t but every now and then I’ll oblige her. I’ve made it clear I won’t be in her friendzone and I’m good with just being a casual friend you see once in awhile if I don’t have anything going on. But when we get together and I ACT like a friend, she hates it. She fishes for compliments and I won’t give them, she notices other girls checking me out, she just acts like she’s trying to secure me as some backup plan but I won’t get close enough to her to be a solid one. She even tells me how “everyone says you are very handsome and that we look good together, I just don’t know though how I feel”. And I’m thinking “b!tch you’ve made it clear, I’m not interested in you like that anymore, I’m just being a friend so quit trying to reject me all the time.” Like I said, very cool girl, but I’m glad we never dated but I do think she likes me deep down despite what she admits. I just think it’s weird how she tells me about all these people in her ear but yet nothing ever happens with us.

Ya she wants you as an orbiter & ego validator at her convenience. Next time she reaches out tell her straight up, you are nobody's back up plan. You are over her acting weird when she supposedly isn't interested. Don't be in Purgatory. And don't agree to do stuff with her.

Her loss, ya know?

 

[Robert28]

Ya she wants you as an orbiter & ego validator at her convenience. Next time she reaches out tell her straight up, you are nobody's back up plan. You are over her acting weird when she supposedly isn't interested. Don't be in Purgatory. And don't agree to do stuff with her.

Her loss, ya know?

I think she finds me attractive but I’m not the type of guy she goes for. She’s into the tattooed body builder type, I have zero tattoos and I’m not a body builder but I’m in very good shape. She sees other women who are more attractive than her show interest in me, and I think she wants me to be around to validate her like you said. You know how friends talk about their dating life and all? She never does that with me. Ever. If I mention I recently dated someone or am seeing someone she gets very quiet, she has this look on her face…..almost like a disappointed look. She basically wants to be wanted by a guy who’s wanted by other women even though I’m not her type. Weird I know.

 

[The Duke]

I've had this happen a few times, always reminds me how silly women are.

I've also had one of these female "friends" cahk block me behind my back.

I'm with @SW15, I don't keep females around unless I am fuhking them. Too much gossip/drama/games behind the scenes for my standards.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah she’s not being a friend. A real girl friend is somewhat like a guy friend, except maybe the topics of conversation are work, relationships, gossip, and general life stuff. But they don’t get jealous* or play some hot/cold on/off romantic interest games.

*Or they at least know not to show it.

 

[member162951]

Agree with others minus the suggestion to tell her you're nobody's "backup plan."

Telling her that suggests you give a f*ck and are butt hurt she's not chasing. It's too emotional.

Just ignore her, don't respond, that sends a bigger message. In this case an IDGAF attitude is best. Indifference.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I guess I didn’t realize how good social proof she was but last night proved she was good for that, the only problem is I didn’t think she was the jealous type so I doubt she’d make a good wingwoman.

You don't need her to wing, you can use her emotional response to your advantage.

I have one kitten who gets visibly upset when other women engage me in conversation, and that works out really well. The more dramatic she becomes, the more she raises my value in other women's eyes. Otherwise, why would she get so upset unless she's worried another woman will steal me from her?

Just stay cool / look bored. If she stomps off in a huff, women will seek you out if only to see if she's justified in storming off. And if you tell them she's 'a bit possessive but not in a bad way', you can segue in your swagger flow.

 

[Mertz09]

I think she finds me attractive but I’m not the type of guy she goes for. She’s into the tattooed body builder type, I have zero tattoos and I’m not a body builder but I’m in very good shape. She sees other women who are more attractive than her show interest in me, and I think she wants me to be around to validate her like you said. You know how friends talk about their dating life and all? She never does that with me. Ever. If I mention I recently dated someone or am seeing someone she gets very quiet, she has this look on her face…..almost like a disappointed look. She basically wants to be wanted by a guy who’s wanted by other women even though I’m not her type. Weird I know.

Okay, I have been around for a while...are you kidding me? She is In Love with You! Has anyone ever seen the Movie "Cabaret????
Liza M. You should look it up and watch it. And if you are attracted to this Gal "Pounce"

 

[Mertz09]

She would be borderline of a friend or an acquaintance. It's not a strong relationship.

I would NEVER spend any time with any woman who rejected me on a romantic approach.

It's good that you don't see her that often. She's not a good person.

I agree with @BeExcellent that opposite sex friendships can be tricky. I've not maintained any over the years. There are occasional acquaintance type relationships that I have with some female co-workers from past jobs. These are females I might see in person about 2 times per year at best and we do talk about non-working topics since we are no longer co-workers.

I tend to have sexual feelings for most women I interact with during my leisure time. My interactions with women tend to be sex or nothing.



There's one thing that I would have liked to have had a different outcome. I think at least one of the longer term girlfriends (later wives) of my male friends or acquaintances could have introduced me at some point to an unattached female friend or acquaintance that they had. It was disappointing that outcome never materialized.





This borderline female friend / acquaintance is toxic. Sex or GTFO. She needs to GTFO now based on her behavior this past weekend.

It is impressive that you got more attention from her presence near you. Since I don't keep female platonic friends, this has never happened like that for me.





She would not make a good wing woman. In fact, she proved that she's not a good person this weekend.

There was good social proof this weekend. That was the most impressive thing. In nightlife venues, most men are with their male friends. Few men show up alone to make approaches in nightlife venues.

Wow! Times have changed...or have they?? Yes, to a certain degree then yes, change can be good. But when I was in my 20s-young 30s I went out all the time Alone to dance and try to hook-up. I would meet friends sometimes but if not that never stopped me.

 

[Scaramouche]

You don't need her to wing, you can use her emotional response to your advantage.

I have one kitten who gets visibly upset when other women engage me in conversation, and that works out really well. The more dramatic she becomes, the more she raises my value in other women's eyes. Otherwise, why would she get so upset unless she's worried another woman will steal me from her?

Just stay cool / look bored. If she stomps off in a huff, women will seek you out if only to see if she's justified in storming off. And if you tell them she's 'a bit possessive but not in a bad way', you can segue in your swagger flow.

Hi Amsterdam,Great to see you are back...pity we haven't got a fatted Calf to kill!

 

[SW15]

when I was in my 20s-young 30s I went out all the time Alone to dance and try to hook-up. I would meet friends sometimes but if not that never stopped me.

Any guy is able to go out alone. Going out alone isn't that big of a deal. With that said, I'd rather do nightlife approaching with a male friend/wing.

Non-bar approaching is more suited for a male approaching alone.

 

[Robert28]

Okay, I have been around for a while...are you kidding me? She is In Love with You! Has anyone ever seen the Movie "Cabaret????
Liza M. You should look it up and watch it. And if you are attracted to this Gal "Pounce"

I’ve tried “pouncing” several times over the years. All I’ve ever gotten was a steamy makeout session. Even after that date she asked me on where I thought things were going to finally happen, she said “nothings changed for me, I don’t want to lead you on”. But then she sure pursued me for MONTHS after that trying to get me to meet up and talk. What’s even more weird is people she knows have made comments to me like her and I are dating. Things like “I’m so glad yall are back together” and I’m like “wtf is going on? Back together? We aren’t dating, this is the first time I’ve seen her in 4 months”. It’s like she tells everyone we are more than friends but she tells me we are just friends and that’s all it’s ever going to be. That’s not the actions of being in love with someone. If she was, we’d be fvcking or it would be obvious that she felt that way.

 

[SW15]

@Robert28 -- It would be best if you completely dropped her from your life. She's toxic.

Remember sex or GTFO in your interactions with women.

 

[Robert28]

@Robert28 -- It would be best if you completely dropped her from your life. She's toxic.

Remember sex or GTFO in your interactions with women.

I guess I haven’t completely dropped her since we do go so far back. I honestly have no problem being around her a few times a year, it’s not like I’m constantly around her or putting my life m on hold for her. I do agree that she is toxic though.

 

[Mertz09]

I’ve tried “pouncing” several times over the years. All I’ve ever gotten was a steamy makeout session. Even after that date she asked me on where I thought things were going to finally happen, she said “nothings changed for me, I don’t want to lead you on”. But then she sure pursued me for MONTHS after that trying to get me to meet up and talk. What’s even more weird is people she knows have made comments to me like her and I are dating. Things like “I’m so glad yall are back together” and I’m like “wtf is going on? Back together? We aren’t dating, this is the first time I’ve seen her in 4 months”. It’s like she tells everyone we are more than friends but she tells me we are just friends and that’s all it’s ever going to be. That’s not the actions of being in love with someone. If she was, we’d be fvcking or it would be obvious that she felt that way.

This is complicated. I think she is in Love with you. But then she is complicated. No easy answer here.