The State of Sosuave

[BPH]

Lately I've been browsing this forum during my free time at work, and I feel like I have to chime in after reading some of the stuff I've been seeing:

• Guys saying they don't wear condoms because they "can tell" whether a girl is a slut and would have STDs...
• Guys saying it's wild to kiss women on a first date...
• Guys suggesting you "date down" if you want to eventually be happy with a woman...
• Guys throwing tantrums after being denied sex, with others validating him by saying to "let her fight her own battles if she gets attacked, 'bEcAuSe ThAt'S yOuR pReFeReNcE'"...

Among other dumbass takes.

So I want to weigh in, because finding this forum as early as I did definitely helped me get on a solid road to self-improvement and success with women. For that reason, I want to give back and provide a little perspective to the people on this forum who are actually asking for/giving good advice to the people who need it.

There are a lot of people here giving advice, who should not be. Guys will see a high message count and reaction score, a sensible profile picture and username, and well-worded responses and think "ok this guy sounds like he knows what he's talking about", and I want you to know, more often than not, that is an incorrect assumption. I have some of these guys as Facebook friends and have met some in real life. THEY. ARE. CORNY. So first and foremost, let me describe me, the person giving THIS advice...

I am 29 years old. I am a white, 6ft tall, lean-muscular man around 200lbs. I am good-looking to the extent that I had a modeling contract, although my agency never got me work. I don't make much money, and I live at home with my parents. I have had 3 serious girlfriends in my life and have slept with around 92 women. I stay in my lane...I'm not going to be the one giving you advice on maintaining a long-term relationship, dealing with marriage, or making smart decisions financially - but if you want to seduce women, get in good shape, and sleep around, I can certainly advise you on that. I am not perfect and do not claim to be; I tend to overanalyze situations and have had plenty of issues dealing with difficult women with whom I get into long-term relationships. That said, I also am not the person that will spend all day on this forum theorizing, looksmaxxing, finding redpill articles, etc.

Ultimately, everybody's goals will be different, but this is a message to the newer, younger guys who discovered this forum and are trying to get to a better place with the women in their lives. I HIGHLY advise you to take ANY advice given on this forum with the most massive grain of salt you can imagine...there are some people here who know their **** and walk their talk, but they are few and far between.

Recent posts here have become excessively redpill, defeatist, and entitled, and I just want to set the record straight that this is the internet - where 90% of people will exaggerate claims and make themselves out to be experts in something they are not. It's like the phenomenon that when you ask somebody a question they don't know the answer to, they won't say "I don't know", but rather provide an answer THEY THINK is correct in an effort to either not sound dumb or to come across as an authority.

You might even hold me to the same level of scrutiny that I'm advocating for, and that's fine, I'm not here to convince you that everything I've said is true, it's your choice what you want to believe. If you really wanted to, you could read through my cringe-ass journal and see how I evolved over the years. That said, if you're new to all this, my best advice is to go out, learn to talk to girls, get rejected a ****load, and develop real confidence. From there, you can do whatever you want; be a man*****, be a lover boy, find a wife, whatever your end goal is.

But between the posts I've been seeing on this forum and some of the **** you guys have been posting on Facebook...I just want to tell the new guys to be careful who they're taking advice from.

Enjoy your night.

 

[Ricky]

I feel like the victim mindset and defeatist attitude is all over the board and that wasnt the case 20 years ago.

we can do this guys. The climate has changed but women havent. They just have much shorter attention spans and a little more entitlement. The game evolves and so do we

 

[BadBoy89]

- I am 29 years old.
- I have had 3 serious girlfriends in my life
- have slept with around 92 women.
- I don't make much money
- I live at home with my parents

Lets say you started at 21. 95 women in 8 years. 95 / 8 = 11.875 women per year.

Since March 2016, you have slept with a new woman every month? I don't think Brad Pitt or George Clooney could do that, and they have hundreds of millions of dollars and private jets.

Props.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Evaluate any poster based on consistency of content & evidence of life experience. This is the internet so its certainly Caveat Emptor, but if you read for a bit you'll learn background on people who contribute here regularly, and you'll get an idea who people are.

Consistency of content over a period of years or thousands of posts is very hard, if not impossible to fake. Find people whose values jive with yours and be open minded because you might get a viewpoint you hadn't thought of that's helpful.

Men typically find this place, hang around and learn for a period of time, get what they need and move on in life. This is a hospital ward of sorts. Men wouldn't be here if there wasn't some sort of issue they desire assistsnce with or perspective about.

And of course many of the experienced posters are here to give back and give others the benefit of their experience, which I think is a positive thing in this crazy world we inhabit (and that those who come after us, inherit.)

 

[Alvafe]

Advice from the old lady:

Evaluate any poster based on consistency of content & evidence of life experience. This is the internet so its certainly Caveat Emptor, but if you read for a bit you'll learn background on people who contribute here regularly, and you'll get an idea who people are.

Consistency of content over a period of years or thousands of posts is very hard, if not impossible to fake. Find people whose values jive with yours and be open minded because you might get a viewpoint you hadn't thought of that's helpful.

Men typically find this place, hang around and learn for a period of time, get what they need and move on in life. This is a hospital ward of sorts. Men wouldn't be here if there wasn't some sort of issue they desire assistsnce with or perspective about.

And of course many of the experienced posters are here to give back and give others the benefit of their experience, which I think is a positive thing in this crazy world we inhabit (and that those who come after us, inherit.)

but then don't we need doctors for the care?

its ok, people comes and goes its always like that, and its what life is. thing is most here I just feel are lost causes, I don't bother to answers most of the time because I know I will be ignored or will ignore some nice advice, because they want to someone tell then they are right even when they are not, want to play victim because its easier to blame someone else then owning his own life and mistakes and that is not woman fault its men fault, even though they are smart enough to find this place they don't want to learn and that is the issue here

 

[BeExcellent]

but then don't we need doctors for the care?

its ok, people comes and goes its always like that, and its what life is. thing is most here I just feel are lost causes, I don't bother to answers most of the time because I know I will be ignored or will ignore some nice advice, because they want to someone tell then they are right even when they are not, want to play victim because its easier to blame someone else then owning his own life and mistakes and that is not woman fault its men fault, even though they are smart enough to find this place they don't want to learn and that is the issue here

I think there are people here who genuinely try to help & who come from a place of helping others.But I also agree that many threads are really seeking validation and some don't learn and do not seem interested in self awareness.

Its tough the deconstructing yourself and figuring out where *you* actually are the problem. But until that happens things are blocked from improvement. Thats true of any of us to greater or lesser degrees.

 

[Michael Chief]

Recent posts here have become excessively redpill, defeatist, and entitled, and I just want to set the record straight that this is the internet - where 90% of people will exaggerate claims and make themselves out to be experts in something they are not. It's like the phenomenon that when you ask somebody a question they don't know the answer to, they won't say "I don't know", but rather provide an answer THEY THINK is correct in an effort to either not sound dumb or to come across as an authority.

Preach. I wish the culture of writing field reports came back, but those get pushed down FAST here.

Lets say you started at 21. 95 women in 8 years. 95 / 8 = 11.875 women per year.

Since March 2016, you have slept with a new woman every month? I don't think Brad Pitt or George Clooney could do that, and they have hundreds of millions of dollars and private jets.

Props.

What? Of course Brad Pitt or George Clooney could do that.

Seduction becomes easy once you get good at it. It's just like any other skill.

When I was most active in the field, there were times I slept with 3 women in the same day. Once you know what to do and just do it a lot, the only real limitation becomes your time and energy.

 

[BeExcellent]

When I was most active in the field, there were times I slept with 3 women in the same day. Once you know what to do and just do it a lot, the only real limitation becomes your time and energy.

Yup. I know men like this too. Without exception they deeply understood the female psyche and they genuinely love women.

 

[BeExcellent]

Before I pack my bags, how did you find SoSuave?

Quite by accident. I got divorced from my ex husband in March of 2014. For a little over a year I did not date at all. In the summer of 2015 I was traveling to LA frequently for business and I developed contacts & friends there and that summer I met a recently divorced man who was exactly my type, and we started seeing each other. His ex wife was diagnosed BPD and was very wealthy (family wealth) and she set out to ruin him by any means, the courts, by creating havoc with their 3 teen kids, it was unreal, and money was no object. Ultimately and thankfully she failed.

I found SoSuave because I found the BPD thread in trying to grasp what my boyfriend was going through.

I lurked for a number of months reading, because I thought it was a cool space helping men find success with women, and eventually there was a thread I felt compelled to contribute to. So I joined in December of 2015 and I'm still hanging around.

I stay because I think this community offers something not found elsewhere. I am a proponent of solid men and I have a son & husband and men who are friends of mine and this is a place that can be a gold mine as Atom Smasher used to say, but you've got to sort the nuggets from the stuff that doesn't matter. That's apparently been true since inception.

I've not been here since then so I don't know personally.

 

[SW15]

- I am 29 years old.
- I have had 3 serious girlfriends in my life
- have slept with around 92 women.
- I don't make much money
- I live at home with my parents

Those are impressive stats given the degree of difficulty.

I am a white, 6ft tall, lean-muscular man around 200lbs. I am good-looking to the extent that I had a modeling contract, although my agency never got me work.

Looks > Money. That sounds like a 'Chad'.

dumbass takes.

• Guys saying they don't wear condoms because they "can tell" whether a girl is a slut and would have STDs...

Iron Rule of Tomassi #5. Always use protection. The idea of co-parenting with the typical 2010s-2020s young woman is a bad idea.

 

[Ricky]

Advice from the old lady:

Evaluate any poster based on consistency of content & evidence of life experience. This is the internet so its certainly Caveat Emptor, but if you read for a bit you'll learn background on people who contribute here regularly, and you'll get an idea who people are.

Consistency of content over a period of years or thousands of posts is very hard, if not impossible to fake. Find people whose values jive with yours and be open minded because you might get a viewpoint you hadn't thought of that's helpful.

Men typically find this place, hang around and learn for a period of time, get what they need and move on in life. This is a hospital ward of sorts. Men wouldn't be here if there wasn't some sort of issue they desire assistsnce with or perspective about.

And of course many of the experienced posters are here to give back and give others the benefit of their experience, which I think is a positive thing in this crazy world we inhabit (and that those who come after us, inherit.)

this totally describes me although my first tour in here was a joyous time of PUA. From around 2002-2006. Met alot of women, had a great time. Then met my wife. I felt i didnt need this and certainly didnt want her to find me surfing this site.

Honestly those years from 2006-2020 were great until i sabotaged my relationship. The stress of the pandemic got to me. I took it seriously and it spilled over to all things.

this site for the most part isnt geared up for long term relationship talk but really few places are. I think this site helps some, makes some more bitter and turns some into philosophers who either go on to write lengthy tomes on relationships or start podcasts

 

[Divorced w 3]

Preach. I wish the culture of writing field reports came back, but those get pushed down FAST here.

it’s funny you should mention this. A poster who was ultimately a complete work of fiction used to rip field reports. I wonder why.

 

[Glassguy]

Lets say you started at 21. 95 women in 8 years. 95 / 8 = 11.875 women per year.

Since March 2016, you have slept with a new woman every month? I don't think Brad Pitt or George Clooney could do that, and they have hundreds of millions of dollars and private jets.

Props.

Its actually quite easy to obtain. I have slept with 4 new chicks in a week without buying them all drinks or dinner. Of course I have went through a month dry spell also, not because I didnt have options, but because I didnt have options that I wanted to bang.

So doing the math, its very easy for a man who can seduce women to get over 100 in a relatively short period of time. Even taking into account heavily screening the women before banging them.

 

[Glassguy]

And to respond to the title of the original thread-

There are more trolls and attention seekers on the forum than even when I joined. Its very easy to tell through some of their comments and threads why they struggle so much with women.

The amount of incels I see that have no social calibration in dealing with women seems to be skyrocketing. And I really dont think you can teach someone how to be overly social, charismatic and seductive if they are not even comfortable opening a conversation with a woman.

But at the end of the day, regardless of the subject, the winners separate themselves from the losers. The attention seekers eventually stop getting the attention they are seeking and leave.

Some are made to be leaders, the majority are made to be followers. Its true that in life, the top 10% excel and the other 90% just do their best to keep up or scrape by.

Dealing with women is no different.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I'd love to see one single sensible male non-misogynistic person on this forum.

I don't think this place has changed.
It's the blind leading the blind. Everyone here is playing a losing game.
I remember coming here at 13 and swallowing everything.
Then I remember being 16 and the main forum starting to give me the ick.
Bring back the High School Forum is what I say!

 

[CornbreadFed]

Guys saying it's wild to kiss women on a first date...

this was a typo on my part in which I did correct myself later in the topic. Take this down or I will report it.

 

[Solomon]

First I want to say thank you to the OP for making this thread, I will begin by saying that Sosauve is a reflection of the average modern male's plight in the dating market. I think the biggest change I've seen on this forum is guys who want to play the victim role just like the women they complain about! especially those blackpill losers that wanna whine about doom and gloom with no solutions. There used to be a huge push on this forum for guys to go out and win whether it's with women, finances or life in general. If you log off and go to your local popular city square you will see tons of couples from various backgrounds depending on the city that you live in. You will see average-looking men with average-looking women, average men with above-average looking women, average men with below-average looking women and forth. You can easily tell in 2024 the guys that are in the field and the guys that are keyboard warriors just regurgitating Redpill or Blackpilll talking points

Lately I've been browsing this forum during my free time at work, and I feel like I have to chime in after reading some of the stuff I've been seeing:

• Guys saying they don't wear condoms because they "can tell" whether a girl is a slut and would have STDs...
• Guys saying it's wild to kiss women on a first date...
• Guys suggesting you "date down" if you want to eventually be happy with a woman...
• Guys throwing tantrums after being denied sex, with others validating him by saying to "let her fight her own battles if she gets attacked, 'bEcAuSe ThAt'S yOuR pReFeReNcE'"...

Among other dumbass takes.

So I want to weigh in, because finding this forum as early as I did definitely helped me get on a solid road to self-improvement and success with women. For that reason, I want to give back and provide a little perspective to the people on this forum who are actually asking for/giving good advice to the people who need it.

There are a lot of people here giving advice, who should not be. Guys will see a high message count and reaction score, a sensible profile picture and username, and well-worded responses and think "ok this guy sounds like he knows what he's talking about", and I want you to know, more often than not, that is an incorrect assumption. I have some of these guys as Facebook friends and have met some in real life. THEY. ARE. CORNY. So first and foremost, let me describe me, the person giving THIS advice...

I am 29 years old. I am a white, 6ft tall, lean-muscular man around 200lbs. I am good-looking to the extent that I had a modeling contract, although my agency never got me work. I don't make much money, and I live at home with my parents. I have had 3 serious girlfriends in my life and have slept with around 92 women. I stay in my lane...I'm not going to be the one giving you advice on maintaining a long-term relationship, dealing with marriage, or making smart decisions financially - but if you want to seduce women, get in good shape, and sleep around, I can certainly advise you on that. I am not perfect and do not claim to be; I tend to overanalyze situations and have had plenty of issues dealing with difficult women with whom I get into long-term relationships. That said, I also am not the person that will spend all day on this forum theorizing, looksmaxxing, finding redpill articles, etc.

Ultimately, everybody's goals will be different, but this is a message to the newer, younger guys who discovered this forum and are trying to get to a better place with the women in their lives. I HIGHLY advise you to take ANY advice given on this forum with the most massive grain of salt you can imagine...there are some people here who know their **** and walk their talk, but they are few and far between.

Recent posts here have become excessively redpill, defeatist, and entitled, and I just want to set the record straight that this is the internet - where 90% of people will exaggerate claims and make themselves out to be experts in something they are not. It's like the phenomenon that when you ask somebody a question they don't know the answer to, they won't say "I don't know", but rather provide an answer THEY THINK is correct in an effort to either not sound dumb or to come across as an authority.

You might even hold me to the same level of scrutiny that I'm advocating for, and that's fine, I'm not here to convince you that everything I've said is true, it's your choice what you want to believe. If you really wanted to, you could read through my cringe-ass journal and see how I evolved over the years. That said, if you're new to all this, my best advice is to go out, learn to talk to girls, get rejected a ****load, and develop real confidence. From there, you can do whatever you want; be a man*****, be a lover boy, find a wife, whatever your end goal is.

But between the posts I've been seeing on this forum and some of the **** you guys have been posting on Facebook...I just want to tell the new guys to be careful who they're taking advice from.

Enjoy your night.

I was called a misandrist by an alleged man recently on here (Dont know if he's a man or not cause I don't know any man who would call another man that in real life ) The modern man has become soft. The stats also show that modern men have become lazy. A lot of people think I'm ruff with my takes but I use to be a super simp just read my old posts. I put in the work not just with women but with my life. A lot of men on here are operating from a scarcity mindset and until they change their mindset they will continue to get the results they have been getting. It's not only about money&women it's about your mindset and everything will course correct. Have you noticed that men who are winning with women seldom or never complain about them? why do you think that is? why not emulate those men or at least learn from them? When you bring this up to people they start playing victim and making excuses just like the bitches they complain about. We should all strive to be the best version of ourselves but in 2024 it seems men would rather be average or subpar. Well if you're average or subpar don't be shocked to get average and subpar results in life!

I feel like the victim mindset and defeatist attitude is all over the board and that wasnt the case 20 years ago.

we can do this guys. The climate has changed but women havent. They just have much shorter attention spans and a little more entitlement. The game evolves and so do we

The problem is a lot of men do not have the resilience, tenacity and testosterone as previous generations also couple the fact that more than 50% of men are raised by single mothers and it compounds the fact that a lot of men in this generation (Im taking millennial and Gen-Z) are soft. Once again I've said before and will continue to say it, people (or whiny incels) will call you a misandrist. When I came up my dad was tough on me, I resented him for it but now I'm thankful because I realized he was preparing me for the world

And to respond to the title of the original thread-

There are more trolls and attention seekers on the forum than even when I joined. Its very easy to tell through some of their comments and threads why they struggle so much with women.

The amount of incels I see that have no social calibration in dealing with women seems to be skyrocketing. And I really dont think you can teach someone how to be overly social, charismatic and seductive if they are not even comfortable opening a conversation with a woman.

But at the end of the day, regardless of the subject, the winners separate themselves from the losers. The attention seekers eventually stop getting the attention they are seeking and leave.

Some are made to be leaders, the majority are made to be followers. Its true that in life, the top 10% excel and the other 90% just do their best to keep up or scrape by.

Dealing with women is no different.

The entitled Incles have always been around even 15 years ago but they didn't have the loudest voice because we checked that bull**** at the door. Now those incels have the loudest voice. I remember when I came on the site to be taken seriously you had to post field reports, someone vouch for you or have had a track record of quality posts. Those days have been long gone now everything is regurgitated

I will tell you the secret that helped skyrocket my results with women a 100X which is not a secret at all. A change in mindset plus action. I took all the rejections, failures, the losses and reframed them in my brain as learning experiences and then studied ways to become better and course correct my mistakes. So next time I won't make the same mistakes. This mentality didn't just help me with women but also with my business (which is projected to make 7 figures this year) it's easier said than done cause if it was easy then everyone would do it. The reality is a lot of men won't make it because they just don't want it bad enough or they give up when things get too tough. You going to have to push past the level you're at to get to the level you want to get too. For Goku to reach ULTRA INSTINCT he had to face Jiren, Jiren had to force Goku to go to that level because that's the only way Goku would have won

Game is Game

 

[Solomon]

this was a typo on my part in which I did correct myself later in the topic. Take this down or I will report it.

An example of the softness I was talking about, if you misspoke just say that, why go be a Karen about it? lmfao

 

[obelisk]

this was a typo on my part in which I did correct myself later in the topic. Take this down or I will report it.

Please tell me this was meant sarcastically.

 

[CornbreadFed]

An example of the softness I was talking about, if you misspoke just say that, why go be a Karen about it? lmfao

Because what Op did was completely disingenuous and should not be appreciated on this site. Op clearly cherry picked some bullshvt out of a topic to make his own Karen topic crying about other posters. No telling what other nonsense is in his op.