Things I have noticed with guys getting results with cold approach.

[Jesse Pinkman]

Over the years, I have seen most guys do cold approach wrong, I mean really wrong. In fact, I'd say 80% of guys will never have success with it no matter how hard they try and most failures I have known come from the pickup and game community. Here are things I have noticed with guys getting results.

They have their lives together outside of game in a lot of ways.

Even if they are not millionaires, they still have their lives together outside of game. Almost all of these dudes are mentally healthy, easy to talk to, social, and overall cool guys. A lot of them also happen to look out for themselves whether it is through maximizing their style or their fitness, usually both. In other words, they have a lot of things on lock outside of game whether it is having their own place or having their careers and finances in check.

However, the exceptions I know to this work "cool" jobs. I am talking bartender at a nightclub or club promoter for a huge nightlife thing, DJ is also a popular one.

Very few of them have even heard of the "game" community or are familiar with any PUAs.

In fact, most have no idea who Mystery or any PUA is. A lot of them are just that, random dudes who just happened to talk to girls over the years. This shocked me, a lot. In fact, being in the PUA community and having winged with close to 50 guys from it, very few I knew actually got any results. Meanwhile, there are these random guys who just tried and tested things until something worked. I want to write about why this is but my thoughts are this:

1. PUA attracts a lot of dorky and nerdy guys

2. Dorks and nerds want to always be right than learn something

3. Dorks and nerds overthink everything and come up with complex theories on why they cannot get laid

Maybe it is because guys that get into PUA by nature are uncoachable and want to be "right" rather than get results. Meanwhile, these guys have the frame of mind to know when they are wrong and change.

They set themselves up for success before the night even begins, namely by picking the right venue or the right area.

These guys know which venues are prime and which ones suck. They also know which parts of the city are actually decent for daygame and which ones are not. In fact, they are doing so much of the work beforehand to find what is a prime area and what is the most ideal place and which one is not. They know that no amount of "game" will save you if you are in a sausagefest.

They do not waste time, something PUA guys do way too much.

For example, I went out to wing with a natural and he realized within 30 minutes a venue was going to suck, he bailed with me.

I winged with a PUA game group guy the week before him who wanted to stick around the same venue for over an hour as he worked up the courage to talk to the 2 available sets there.

PUA and Game guys do not understand the value of time. They will talk to fatties to "warm up" during the night and get to a venue at 1 AM before they start doing approaches. Then they will wait until after 1 AM to game the leftover girls at the venue. Everyone knows that this is how you pickup trash at best.

They realize how they come off to others, even other dudes.

Like for some reason, these guys can read people. I have winged with these dudes and had a bad night and realized that these dudes read me. They immediately pointed something out about my vibe and I was like "wow the guy is freaking right, I am having an off night or frustrated or angry tonight". These dudes can read people emotionally, both men and women. This trait is unheard of in the PUA community for the most part where guys do not read others well at all and come off as pests in the process.

They are downright strategic.

Like these dudes do their nights and daygame like a football coach would do football. They will talk to you and tell you that we are not going to be at a certain part of the bar and we will not get to the bar at a certain time. The amount of strategy they implement for a certain venue is so unreal. Like they know what part of the venue is awful for game and which one is good for it. They also do the same with daygame, it's kind of insane to see.

But they execute and have follow through.

These guys do not say they are going to do something, they actually do it. With PUA and Game Guys, they say they will do something but then never do it when it comes time to do it. A lot of these guys are finding a strategy, executing it, and then refining it as needed. It is kind of a spectacle to see because overtime, it yields serious results.

 

[Plinco]

I think one of the most important traits is that these people enjoy what they do. I have the best results when I'm out and about and making casual conversations with people and enjoying these conversations. I've met women before like this but I'm no PUA.

 

[Michael Chief]

This trait is unheard of in the PUA community

We called it microcalibration

It does sound dorky/nerdy lol

 

[PlatoPacks23]

main things i'e noticed is being super calm, the girls type relatively, and extremely strategic. and leading but that should be expected

 

[SW15]

Very few of them have even heard of the "game" community or are familiar with any PUAs.

1. PUA attracts a lot of dorky and nerdy guys

2. Dorks and nerds want to always be right than learn something

3. Dorks and nerds overthink everything and come up with complex theories on why they cannot get laid

I think there's some merit to what you say.

The most successful seducer I have known in real life never read any seduction materials or watched any seduction YouTubes. He put up a triple digit notch count on the strength of being a 6'4" guy who was a former NCAA athlete in a country club sport.

PUA does attract men not getting results. Many of the men not getting results are dorky and nerdy men.

Earlier today, I mentioned that mathematics is about solving problems. How is it possible that men are good at mathematics (problem solving) but are unable to solve the problem of not being able to attract women and have sex? Seems like a problem solving exercise. A lot of men who are strong in mathematical/quantitative areas simply can't figure out the formula to emotionally connect with a women to give her the good feelings to drop her panties.

They set themselves up for success before the night even begins, namely by picking the right venue or the right area.

These guys know which venues are prime and which ones suck. They also know which parts of the city are actually decent for daygame and which ones are not. In fact, they are doing so much of the work beforehand to find what is a prime area and what is the most ideal place and which one is not. They know that no amount of "game" will save you if you are in a sausagefest.

Venue selection is a big part of being successful in either daygame or nightgame stranger approaching. Agree that no amount of "game" will save you in a sausagefest. Venue selection is a part of being strategic, which is the next place I'm going with comments.

They are downright strategic.

Like these dudes do their nights and daygame like a football coach would do football. They will talk to you and tell you that we are not going to be at a certain part of the bar and we will not get to the bar at a certain time. The amount of strategy they implement for a certain venue is so unreal. Like they know what part of the venue is awful for game and which one is good for it. They also do the same with daygame, it's kind of insane to see.

This is the best way to do it. Devise the strategy ahead of time and then execute on it. The strategy needs to be good. Selecting the best daygame and nightgame venues is a big part of it. Knowing how to emotionally connect with women and being good at sex are also part of a well rounded attraction and retention strategy.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I always pretend to be a virgin.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I always pretend to be a virgin.

I am a virgin

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I am a virgin

And of course you have to overtrump everyone.

 

[CornbreadFed]

And of course you have to overtrump everyone.

Nah, I have never touched a tit in my life.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Nah, I have never touched a tit in my life.

 

[Mike32ct]

Earlier today, I mentioned that mathematics is about solving problems. How is it possible that men are good at mathematics (problem solving) but are unable to solve the problem of not being able to attract women and have sex? Seems like a problem solving exercise. A lot of men who are strong in mathematical/quantitative areas simply can't figure out the formula to emotionally connect with a women to give her the good feelings to drop her panties.

That’s a great question. I don’t know. I love math (problem solving), but I don’t think it has been helpful at all in the women department.

I can emotionally connect with women very well, but it’s only in a friend or brotherly way these days.

 

[BeExcellent]

Emotions are anti equation you guys. Anti formulaic. So throw away this idea that meeting women is formulaic in any way. Each interaction is its own unique organic process. Nuanced. You NEED to be able to accurately assess and adapt on the fly.

That is what people reading is. I know whether a man is attracted to me before he ever opens his mouth. I can tell by his non-verbal communications, the way he looks at me, the way he postures.

And, here's the trick. I know exactly how to respond and exactly what that communicates. As a hot woman you develop this skill. You have to. Its partly a survival thing and safety thing and partly a prescreening thing. You have to learn to "thin slice" very quickly and size up people around you. Every man has sexual interest in a hot woman. Duh. As a hot woman therefore you become the gatekeeper of whether or not male interest will be entertained At. All.

So you guys that fumble an open where she is initially cool to you dont *get* it. The fact that shes cool to you At. All. is at least a curiosity about you. Then some of you lay it thick & blow yourselves out rather than being chill and treating her like a human being that farts and has to brush her teeth. Some of ya'll come across starstruck from a mile away. Ugh.

I can tell you exactly who has sexual interest in me in any environment, professional, social or nightlife etc. I can also read if other women see me as a threat in those environments; I can size up who thinks my husband is sexy, etc., etc., and I manage the situations to my advantage accordingly.

It is people reading jujitsu. I'm expert at it. Many attractive women are like me with finely attenuated social radar. You become part of that "in" club? Youre IN.

Trust me on this.

 

[MatureDJ]

I am a virgin

It hasn't even STARTED for VirginCels.

 

[BadBoy89]

Earlier today, I mentioned that mathematics is about solving problems. How is it possible that men are good at mathematics (problem solving) but are unable to solve the problem of not being able to attract women and have sex? Seems like a problem solving exercise. A lot of men who are strong in mathematical/quantitative areas simply can't figure out the formula to emotionally connect with a women to give her the good feelings to drop her panties.

Math is logical issue. There are limits, definite answers, right angles, consistent and constant formulas.

Women are an emotional issue. There is nothing consistent about them. They act and respond to how they feel in a given moment. Even if man was to come up with a formula that work, it would for work one day.

But in terms of attraction, all women respond to a mans Height and hair, Just like all men respond to young women with 0 divorces and 0 kids.

 

[NealIRC]

Over the years, I have seen most guys do cold approach wrong, I mean really wrong. In fact, I'd say 80% of guys will never have success with it no matter how hard they try and most failures I have known come from the pickup and game community.

If this is true, this would motivate women to approach men, and to approach men the /right/ way, no? Clearly something is lacking.

 

[The Duke]

@SW15 problem solving and mathematics is more left brained. Intuition and most social skills related to being successful with women are right brain functions.

Both sides need to work together.

It's about reading people, calibrated to people and environments, processing social inputs and outputs using the right brain, and then quickly analyzing the information in the left brain.

I wish everyone could be around a horse. I've never met an animal so similar to a female human than a horse. With a horse it is all about feels, connection, emotion, being tuned in, being calibrated. They are constantly monitoring social cues from the other horses and humans.

All the stuff @BeExcellent said horses do it. And part of it is survival. Horses are pretty much flight animals. Like women, It doesnt take much to spook one. They are uncertain, fearful, and want a connection first. They look to leadership. When you are riding you can cue a good horse entirely off leg pressure. But if you don't know what you are doing that horse won't know what you are expecting and will disappoint. When your vibe is off, the horse will notice just like a woman.

 

[BeExcellent]

Many men are brilliantly left brained & excel at mathematics & analytical things.

Yet they miss social cues and are not socially attenuated.

You cannot apply a mathematical formula to a Picasso painting.

Women's emotions and interactions are no more formulaic than a painting.

Quit trying to equate the two.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I wish everyone could be around a horse. I've never met an animal so similar to a female human than a horse. With a horse it is all about feels, connection, emotion, being tuned in, being calibrated. They are constantly monitoring social cues from the other horses and humans.

Horses are a good example. If you're awkward around horses they will bolt. Also, you cannot chase a horse you want to ride, you have to get the horse to come to you and to allow you to climb on the back.

Funny thing is also that women are drawn to men who are good with animals. I know from many dog walkers that they get approached by women about their dogs.

Shouldercats like Klook are a bit different - cats are not pack animals, so they don't look for a 'leader'. If a man can bond with a cat to come with him through crowds and chaos, that gives you major props with women.

 

[BeExcellent]

Funny enough about horses (and other animals, but particularly horses.) The above is true.

They love me. They like to just come over and hang out with me. Where we live there are all these Arabian stables. Arabians are one of the most temperamental of all horse breeds. One of the routes we walk goes past several of these stables in the neighborhood. In one paddock a couple of Arabian mares are kept. All I have to do is walk up to the fence. The horses come over to see me, and the more dominant mare of the two won't let the other one get too close as she wants all the attention for herself. So we hang out for a few minutes, and when we go she's always looking after me. She will whinny if I'm across the street. I'll toss my pony tail & whinny back. Husband thinks its hilarious but I will not let him film it. He keeps threatening however, lol.

My 5 year bf in my 20s was a rancher's son. The hired hand at the ranch was a horse trader, literally. That guy came to appreciate when I'd go hang out with the horses that came through while he trained them & got them ready to sell. He didn't talk much & at first didn't want me around....but then he noticed the horses became more calm & gentle after I had spent time with them, and that increased what he could sell them for. So he became all for it.

Horses are terrifically intuitive animals. They have to be. They are also much smarter than people give them credit for. Like women, lol.

Historically Arabian mares have been more prized than the stallions in the Arabian deserts. In large measure due to their intuition.

 

[BPH]

PUA and Game guys do not understand the value of time. They will talk to fatties to "warm up" during the night and get to a venue at 1 AM before they start doing approaches. Then they will wait until after 1 AM to game the leftover girls at the venue. Everyone knows that this is how you pickup trash at best.

This is the only point I disagree with.

I've found that plenty of places will have attractive girls there between like 10PM and 12AM (bars close here at 1), but they're just there to have a drink with their girlfriends, or to pregame a party later, or going over to their boyfriend's place after, etc.

I'll usually get to a bar around 11PM, take a look through the place, and see if anybody cute is still there after I've had a few drinks by 11:30PM or so. THESE are usually the girls that are open to leaving with you. They're not just here to catch up with the girlies or post their location on Snapchat - they're out hoping guys will come talk to them.

You can make the "quality" argument, which I will agree with to some extent, but I've left with plenty of hot women during the last hour before closing.

In fact, I straight up refuse to go out earlier than this because it's both a waste of my free time, and waste of money since I'll be trying to maintain my buzz longer.