Empathy

[CaptFinnBad]

Well that's interesting!!!

Been practicing this all day with everyone I've interacted with. Early days, I'm probably only just listening at this point, But it's been nice.

I've had genuine, warm, connected and energised conversations all day with all different types of people.

Also found once I disengaged from listening, people tended to follow.

I visited my parents today too, tried it on them. They were fighting for me attention , each completing with one another to be listened too.


Also the conversation... Every conversation I had was not boring as I imagined they would be!

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Also switching it off was very natural. Didn't even notice, it it just flowed.

Conversations felt very different, like the other person was so excited to be engaging with me.

As for listening with empathy in regards of negativity directed at me whilst doing so. I'll see what that's like when I encounter it.

It's it's not productive/destructive i'll just actively disengage listening with empathy, and withdraw my engagement.

Which I suppose could as an unintentional side effect act as a negative punishment to that person.

(The dog trainer in me speaking here lol)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

As for listening with empathy in regards of negativity directed at me whilst doing so. I'll see what that's like when I encounter it.

No crime, no punishment.
Don't judge, no bias. Whatever emotion comes out of the person you're listening to, it's not directed at you personally.
You have to disable your own triggers. You know what they are and you should be in control if someone tries to flip them.
As long as your ego is still engaged, you cannot truly listen and hear the essence behind the spoken words. Never ever take spoken words at face value. People rarely say what they mean, you have to read the subtext without adding your own subtext.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

No crime, no punishment.
Don't judge, no bias. Whatever emotion comes out of the person you're listening to, it's not directed at you personally.
You have to disable your own triggers. You know what they are and you should be in control if someone tries to flip them.
As long as your ego is still engaged, you cannot truly listen and hear the essence behind the spoken words. Never ever take spoken words at face value. People rarely say what they mean, you have to read the subtext without adding your own subtext.

That makes a lot of sense!!!! I suppose that's when you truly know you have developed the skill when you can do as you described above!

Thank you so much for your insight!


I don't know why but I'm so excited by all of this.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

That makes a lot of sense!!!! I suppose that's when you truly know you have developed the skill when you can do as you described above!

I teach Pre-Conflict Control, my method of using ancient martial arts principles to control conflicts before they arise. One of the most important principles is harnessing the state of imperturbability (Fudōshin), which is basically the self control to disallow others from feeding into your mental state and unbalancing your emotional equilibrium.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don't know why but I'm so excited by all of this.

It's always exciting to see a new path to improve ourselves.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I teach Pre-Conflict Control, my method of using ancient martial arts principles to control conflicts before they arise. One of the most important principles is harnessing the state of imperturbability (Fudōshin), which is basically the self control to disallow others from feeding into your mental state and unbalancing your emotional equilibrium.

Pre Conflict control definitely sounds like something I could personally benefit from. Willingness to engage in conflict has always been a weakness of mine and an area I could improve in.


Would you care to elaborate or point me towards to sources where I could learn more about this ?

If you have time to do so of course.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Would you care to elaborate or point me towards to sources where I could learn more about this ?

I have a blog, but I'm not very active. Best thing is to check for me on Quora, I wrote quite a few answers on these topics.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I have a blog, but I'm not very active. Best thing is to check for me on Quora, I wrote quite a few answers on these topics.

Thank you!