Being "Short" & "To The Point" With Women During Cold Approach-Thoughts?

[shortsuave]

I have a roommate who says that I am "too long" when speaking with women and "need to get to the point". One of his reference points is a cold approach he saw, but did not hear (the dialogue of my convo with this girl) with a Black Girl (6.5-7); I am assuming that he is also going off of body language of the women I approached? My philosophy, especially when cold approaching in a non-sexual atmosphere (line of a food stand) is to build some sort of comfortability while also developing a sexual energy; I'm assuming he is saying that I should have expressed asked for her number immediately upon approach?In regards to her, we talked for at most 2-5 minutes on and off as we waited for food; I established some frame in regards to her giving me some food suggestions and us sharing a few laughs, but her boyfriend was actually heading over to meet her at this food stand so I did not walk away with a number.

My roommate is 6'3, Black, with an athletic wide receiver build (former college football player), and has an urban demeanor to him (which black women absolutely love). I am 5'6, Black with a ripped, lean skinny-ish build (5"6"-150) with a suburban, preppy demeanor. My argument to him is that with such an outlier of a height in being 6'3 and not being a bad-looking guy either, any sort of tactics or "game" he needs to have is nearly non-existent, as most women in our 18-24 age group will pre-select him off of these traits alone.

My argument is that as a shorter guy, and also a guy who was deemed "ugly" more often then not in high school, I need to establish more of a rapport when approaching, while still holding frame and mystery but also giving her some substance to think about, especially as she compares me to her taller, more conventionally attractive options. Thoughts?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Do what works for you, don't do what works for him, unless whatever he does works for you and improves your 'game'.

 

[characternote]

My argument is that as a shorter guy, and also a guy who was deemed "ugly" more often then not in high school, I need to establish more of a rapport when approaching, while still holding frame and mystery but also giving her some substance to think about, especially as she compares me to her taller, more conventionally attractive options. Thoughts?

I think you're on the right lines and that being super direct as someone who's not hot is basically suicide in lots of situations, BUT i'd also say that it's all 'mostly' irrelevant.

The truth is that she basically decides whether you're a sexual possibility to her (she thinks you're hot) before you've said a word. And you can't really influence that. If you walk up too a girl and she thinks you're too old for her (she's 18 and you're 40+) and she just isn't physically attracted to you at all (you look like a white out of shape grandpa and she's into 21 year old ripped black guys) then no matter how you play it, you're not gonna get anywhere with that girl

But all things being equal I think you have it about right. Walking up too a girl and being super direct from the off is only gonna have good hit rate if you look like a male model lol.

With cold approach, it's all about playing the numbers. Get yourself as good looking as you possibly can (gym, fashion, hell, surgery if you can afford it!), and then just chat to girls. Increase the flirting with the ones who seem receptive. That's basically all there is too it. The good news is that not ALL girls have typical tastes. I'm not teh best looking dude out there, but i've had my fair share of very pretty girls who, for some reason, thought I was good looking. But of course I can't compete with my slayer wingman lol (who basically every hot 19 year old wants to bang on sight)

Lots of people might give you advice and want too appear like some sort of 'ladies man' on sites like this, but them same posters would be literally invisible to hot young girls and they'd have more chance of winning the lottery than banging her

 

[Scaramouche]

I have a roommate who says that I am "too long" when speaking with women and "need to get to the point". One of his reference points is a cold approach he saw, but did not hear (the dialogue of my convo with this girl) with a Black Girl (6.5-7); I am assuming that he is also going off of body language of the women I approached? My philosophy, especially when cold approaching in a non-sexual atmosphere (line of a food stand) is to build some sort of comfortability while also developing a sexual energy; I'm assuming he is saying that I should have expressed asked for her number immediately upon approach?In regards to her, we talked for at most 2-5 minutes on and off as we waited for food; I established some frame in regards to her giving me some food suggestions and us sharing a few laughs, but her boyfriend was actually heading over to meet her at this food stand so I did not walk away with a number.

My roommate is 6'3, Black, with an athletic wide receiver build (former college football player), and has an urban demeanor to him (which black women absolutely love). I am 5'6, Black with a ripped, lean skinny-ish build (5"6"-150) with a suburban, preppy demeanor. My argument to him is that with such an outlier of a height in being 6'3 and not being a bad-looking guy either, any sort of tactics or "game" he needs to have is nearly non-existent, as most women in our 18-24 age group will pre-select him off of these traits alone.

My argument is that as a shorter guy, and also a guy who was deemed "ugly" more often then not in high school, I need to establish more of a rapport when approaching, while still holding frame and mystery but also giving her some substance to think about, especially as she compares me to her taller, more conventionally attractive options. Thoughts?

Hi Shortsuave,
In this Country even your "cold approach"might provoke the Gendarmes...His block hammer variety would be suicidal....Not in your State?OK,but it is not a matter of if but when it's yours too....The closest I would even suggest Cold approaching is in a safer environment,Supermarket,Asian Grocery,Library,Laundrette and the best by far in a Dance Studio!

 

[Ricky]

Sounds like he runs direct game ala Mode X and your style is to build attraction.

i like your style better. You may be forced to run game quicker when time is limited. Learn to close effectively

 

[pipeman84]

In general, unless your goal is to collect the highest amount of phone numbers with the shortest amount of time invested, then being 'short and to the point' has no benefits and only drawbacks. Even in your friend's case, I don't see how that approach would actually help him get a girl, because his looks and directness combined convey that he's a player interested only in having sex.

In regards to her, we talked for at most 2-5 minutes on and off as we waited for food; I established some frame in regards to her giving me some food suggestions and us sharing a few laughs, but her boyfriend was actually heading over to meet her at this food stand so I did not walk away with a number.

I don't think that cold approaching a girl standing in line at a food stand and chit chatting about food means you established frame. On top of that, she was there to meet her boyfriend. What you call frame doesn't sound like anything more than her being polite.
If the girl is single, she's noticed you (your looks, body language have established an attractive frame), gives IOIs, you approach and by the end of interaction she signals she wants to see you again then you could say you had frame.

 

[Barrister]

"Short and to the point" might work depending on your delivery. However, I prefer a more friendly, charismatic approach when I do cold-approach. But that is not to say it isn't possible to overstay your welcome. During that exchange, if you get the point where you aren't able to organically keep the conversation going, tell her you'd love to get a drink sometime and ask for the number and get out. Your mission is complete.

 

[Masculinity]

@shortsuave:

It really depends on the situation and how much time you have. I encourage you to develop both an approach that is expedient and an approach that is relaxed. These should be used separately based on your location and purpose. Select the one that is more suitable to the situation at hand and use contextual cues to start a conversation. The style you are using now tends to be more suitable for when you are on date with a girl, but not for cold approaches.

Attractive women get approached frequently and if you seem too casual or too friendly, you will be perceived as weak or lacking courage. There is nothing wrong with approaching a girl, flirting with a bit, doing push-pull, and closing the interaction with her contact information. I say try both approaches objectively and see which one yields the best results for you.