Women bosses are hard to deal with

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Best not to have bosses.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I feel like the worst female bosses tend to lean on the masculine side. I’ve had worse experiences with male bosses due to them being a good ole boy or extreme try hard.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Best not to have bosses.

This. If you can find a way to work for yourself, do it. When you work for "the boss", you are nothing more than a servant.

 

[zekko]

Zekko sometimes I feel you are too egalitarian bro lol. Yes there are bad male bosses ( plenty of them) but if we are honest most women dont make good leaders. I dont think you are being 100% honest maybe.

I'm not saying women make better leaders, but I'm just telling my experiences. I've had good male bosses and lousy male bosses. I've had good female bosses and lousy female bosses. It all comes down to the individual IMO. Probably a lot depends on what the field is also.

I've seen several women bosses treat their male employees well, while being absolute witches to their female underlings. I'm sure there are some who do the opposite too, although I haven't run into that personally.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Due to a tough chick boss that I had to deal with in the previous company where I was working as a consultant, I started to reflect about my past professional experiences and I find a pattern: the women bosses are the toughest to work for.

Full of pettiness, micromanagement, and impulsiveness that makes the environment almost impossible to be in.

Has anyone experienced something similar or has the same thought?

Women are horrible leaders and bosses.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

No man should ever work a job with a female boss. I'm sure some of them are cool but the majority aren't. And how can you have any self respect if your boss is a female? Fvck that. I've never had one before except when I was working in food service and she was fine.

Honestly every single boss I've had (with 1 exception) was great and I don't ever intend to break my good luck by working under women or a female-dominated HR infested company.

 

[Pandora]

No man should ever work a job with a female boss. I'm sure some of them are cool but the majority aren't. And how can you have any self respect if your boss is a female? Fvck that. I've never had one before except when I was working in food service and she was fine.

Honestly every single boss I've had (with 1 exception) was great and I don't ever intend to break my good luck by working under women or a female-dominated HR infested company.

Bro exactly. We agree on this 100%. I feel so emasculated when some middle aged harpy is barking orders at me for no reason. I dont mind taking orders from nice, pleasant competent women. Most are not that though.

 

[Pandora]

Women are horrible leaders and bosses.

Exactly. Why men try to deny this is beyond me. Even women did not vote for Hilary Clinton lol. Deep down they know.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Ive worked alongside, above and under many women in my day.

I will tell you, women that act like this, do so because at one time they were in their position being too nice, being a push over and because of that, they get targeted, which is why she always goes up and above on her performance, because it isn't genuine, she's putting on an act, she doesn't know where the line is so she's decided "The line is here".

Dont take it personally, even if she goes too far, she just doesn't know where the line is and that line needs to be in the same place for everyone, the weakest link dictates how she treats everyone else, she wants to force the weak link out so she can be more passive but again it's a give and take.

 

[Pandora]

Ive worked alongside, above and under many women in my day.

I will tell you, women that act like this, do so because at one time they were in their position being too nice, being a push over and because of that, they get targeted, which is why she always goes up and above on her performance, because it isn't genuine, she's putting on an act, she doesn't know where the line is so she's decided "The line is here".

Dont take it personally, even if she goes too far, she just doesn't know where the line is and that line needs to be in the same place for everyone, the weakest link dictates how she treats everyone else, she wants to force the weak link out so she can be more passive but again it's a give and take.

Thank you man. This is very helpful and interesting. Btw should I enforce my boundaries? Under my nice guy persona I have a temper when I feel like im getting bullied. I have violent ideations and really cant handle people being snarky via email. Or should I just let it slide?
The last guy left because of this same issue.

 

[Pandora]

Btw at my blue collar part time job this would have been settled a long time ago. Some poor schmuck or female would have cussed her out by now. Blue Collar people yell at each other and go right back to being one happy dysfunctional family. Blue collar has it pros and cons. The cons is not that much money and advancement. The pro is office politics is secondary. You can say what the heck you want.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Thank you man. This is very helpful and interesting. Btw should I enforce my boundaries? Under my nice guy persona I have a temper when I feel like im getting bullied. I have violent ideations and really cant handle people being snarky via email. Or should I just let it slide?
The last guy left because of this same issue.

Couple avenues

1. You could see how professional she actually is: Good managers make sure the line is in the same place for everyone, but then some have their lines based on performance, like in terms of my boss I was her best employee by far, most people took 1-20 word notes on their clients where as I took note of everything, I'd hand in pages of notes which made her life much easier because she basically wouldn't have to train a replacement if I ever left or if she did, her work was cut out for her. So when we were with coworkers, the line was the same but in our 1 on 1 meetings and performance reviews I mean there wasn't much to say. Also everyone else would wear casual I would wear dress pants, a dress shirt and a tie, she would constantly tell me it was unnecessary because we both knew what it really was, an advantage. Generally speaking because of that role I haven't wore a pair of jeans in prob 7 or 8 years, only dress wear and gym wear, no in between, maximum functionality for what I want to do.

So you could approach her and ask her about your performance, I call this "Hanging the Missletoe" because your gonna open the lines of communication and kiss her ass if you have to and let her say what she wants to say, once you let her do that, you need to focus on the fact that *your failure is her failure*--
she may say something really ****ed up since your approaching her and not vice versa and she'll likely be in the clear for doing it, but all the same, if a conflict is brewing you feel, then force the conflict to happen, ask her about your performance, you really need to think about what you wanna say here because I don't have any context, but the point is to let her get that thing off her chest, let the criticisms slide on by so she starts to offer construct instead of critic.

Note this can turn out very badly, it's important to mind your body language and anxiety, if you come off as threatening in your approach, it's not gonna end well but you also need to try to leverage nuance into your side, don't allow yourself to get dragged into an email exchange about this if you can either or if you do, let her know your gonna email her about it so she can respond on her own time. If she wants to channel the entire interaction through email this is probably a waste of time since you can't really build report, you want her to see your reaction to her words, you want to display impact.

2. Does she know you have a 2nd job? Options mean she cannot control you as well, if she knows and it's not gonna be an issue, maybe ask if you can pick up extra hours since you were let go from your other job, if it comes up again later just explain you guys worked it out and your back there now but forgot to update her. Generally speaking you want to appear as helpless and stupid as you can, I call it "Calculated Mediocrity" and its very important because if you put your full capabilities on display she may feel threatened by you.

3. Gain her confidence and enact her wants, if she has a target she's focusing on, the weak link, then you should sleight that person when you can in her presence, don't talk **** or anything like that, but rather carry it in your body language and tone... Mimic her political views if she's dumb enough to talk politics at work, this is called "Tribalism".

I got more but my thumb hurts

 

[Pandora]

Couple avenues

1. You could see how professional she actually is: Good managers make sure the line is in the same place for everyone, but then some have their lines based on performance, like in terms of my boss I was her best employee by far, most people took 1-20 word notes on their clients where as I took note of everything, I'd hand in pages of notes which made her life much easier because she basically wouldn't have to train a replacement if I ever left or if she did, her work was cut out for her. So when we were with coworkers, the line was the same but in our 1 on 1 meetings and performance reviews I mean there wasn't much to say. Also everyone else would wear casual I would wear dress pants, a dress shirt and a tie, she would constantly tell me it was unnecessary because we both knew what it really was, an advantage. Generally speaking because of that role I haven't wore a pair of jeans in prob 7 or 8 years, only dress wear and gym wear, no in between, maximum functionality for what I want to do.

So you could approach her and ask her about your performance, I call this "Hanging the Missletoe" because your gonna open the lines of communication and kiss her ass if you have to and let her say what she wants to say, once you let her do that, you need to focus on the fact that *your failure is her failure*--
she may say something really ****ed up since your approaching her and not vice versa and she'll likely be in the clear for doing it, but all the same, if a conflict is brewing you feel, then force the conflict to happen, ask her about your performance, you really need to think about what you wanna say here because I don't have any context, but the point is to let her get that thing off her chest, let the criticisms slide on by so she starts to offer construct instead of critic.

Note this can turn out very badly, it's important to mind your body language and anxiety, if you come off as threatening in your approach, it's not gonna end well but you also need to try to leverage nuance into your side, don't allow yourself to get dragged into an email exchange about this if you can either or if you do, let her know your gonna email her about it so she can respond on her own time. If she wants to channel the entire interaction through email this is probably a waste of time since you can't really build report, you want her to see your reaction to her words, you want to display impact.

2. Does she know you have a 2nd job? Options mean she cannot control you as well, if she knows and it's not gonna be an issue, maybe ask if you can pick up extra hours since you were let go from your other job, if it comes up again later just explain you guys worked it out and your back there now but forgot to update her. Generally speaking you want to appear as helpless and stupid as you can, I call it "Calculated Mediocrity" and its very important because if you put your full capabilities on display she may feel threatened by you.

3. Gain her confidence and enact her wants, if she has a target she's focusing on, the weak link, then you should sleight that person when you can in her presence, don't talk **** or anything like that, but rather carry it in your body language and tone... Mimic her political views if she's dumb enough to talk politics at work, this is called "Tribalism".

I got more but my thumb hurts

Yeh she knows I have a 2nd job. This is great. Appreciate it man.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

I've had some bad bosses of both genders. My best boss overall was a woman. I don't think your private parts matter when it comes to being a supervisor, but this is a common trope around here.

Really the question is do you have frame? You should be able to deal with a boss same as with any interaction in life. Obviously you can't do the same things as with a plate but the rules of self respect still apply.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Thank you man. This is very helpful and interesting. Btw should I enforce my boundaries? Under my nice guy persona I have a temper when I feel like im getting bullied. I have violent ideations and really cant handle people being snarky via email. Or should I just let it slide?
The last guy left because of this same issue.

No they don't.
The female operating system makes its decision making out from what they feel and they act and behave this way as their default decision process in everything they do.

To be a leader they need to leave their feminine default way of operating and become more masculine and use logic decision making which is against their very core of their nature.

They want to be "one of the boys" and will work hard to prove their worth in the company and show their male bosses that they can do the job too which in many (most cases I'd argue), will default to creating drama, micro managing employees and control behavior like a dictator. They often therefor act like mini dictators and will manage their employees that way.

For example:
When an employee does something wrong, they want to have these meaningless silly meetings and explain things or give out cautions of little pretty things and will keep on going back to "you did this and that two years ago" and overcomplicating things. Make you sigh papers of "notifications" etc. to prove their power over you.. They will also favor some employees over others, will also be a driver for all the diversity bullshyte and DEI and cause issues with this inside the company.

Now with guys on the flipside;
With us guys as bosses it is usually simple straight forward and (yes there is some idiots out there too of course), and if you make a fvckup and mess something up you usually get a short reprimand and "don't fvcking do it again" and after that its forgotten and we move on. We do need need to mess around with employees with silly time wasting meats. We guys run on logic most of the time and thus we are quite simple straight forward. We on the other hand we do not need to "prove" anything. We just need to do our job and do it good and usually you will be noticed and respected for that within the company..

I do not know about you guys, but I take a man as a boss any given day of my life over over female boss. Its simply not worth the headache and the drama that follows with female bosses.
On top of that we should not get into the subject of all the other complications they bring with #meetoo bs and feminism sigh...

Na brah.. I'm good.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Women in groups are the worst. I've seen managers and ICs actively conspire to destroy a man's employment at companies; they eventually succeed in making a man's (men that don't kiss their collective arses) tenure insufferable. They either eventually lose their positions or leave their own free will.

In one case, I experienced a tenured senior director being put in an RIF after building the company's most profitable and respected team. They used veiled sexual harassment accusations and "disrespect" of women as a basis, when in fact, he was only treating females as he did men. A recently minted female manager replaced him with no experience who then took his salary and used it to hire three recent female grads that she could manipulate. Within eight months, she destroyed the team and got fired herself.

 

[zekko]

No man should ever work a job with a female boss. I'm sure some of them are cool but the majority aren't. And how can you have any self respect if your boss is a female? Fvck that.

This thinking is too rigid. If you work in a large corporation, for example, you are likely to have a large number of people above you in different ways no matter what level you are. Those people are likely to be a mix of men and women. That aside, not everyone is cut out to be entrepreneurs.

 

[SW15]

I prefer having male bosses as I find interactions with them generally easier. I have had some bad male bosses though. My best bosses have been male.

In white collar work now, it's common for some male employee to have a female boss at some point in his career. The best way to avoid female bosses is to work blue collar.

With female bosses, there's more of a need to manage their feelings. That makes interactions more difficult. A similar thing can be said about female co-workers. It's difficult for male white collar workers to navigate the minefield of feelings and emotions. Also, a lot of white collar men are worried about getting reported to HR for something with either a female boss or a regular co-worker.

 

[Pandora]

The best way to avoid female bosses is to work blue collar.

With female bosses, there's more of a need to manage their feelings. That makes interactions more difficult. A similar thing can be said about female co-workers. It's difficult for male white collar workers to navigate the minefield of feelings and emotions.

Exactly bro. This has also been my experience. Female bosses live and die on feelings. You have to almost run game on them sometimes. Flattery also gets you far with them.

I wish I could go back in time and study the most blue collar trade ever. Something that is 99.9% male like plumbing.

 

[SW15]

This has also been my experience. Female bosses live and die on feelings. You have to almost run game on them sometimes. Flattery also gets you far with them.

I wish I could go back in time and study the most blue collar trade ever. Something that is 99.9% male like plumbing.

Game and frame matter. Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 could be applied to female bosses and co-workers to a degree.

I also think I would have better off as a blue collar tradesman than a guy who has higher education degrees and a white collar job.