Thoughtful and Interesting Profile Post

[member162951]

I just came across the following profile post from a member @tksniper who doesn't post very often but when he does, his posts are interesting and thoughtful..

I'm wondering what y'all think, and is what he posted been your experience?

>>The coolest things to women are actually emotional honesty and vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength to let go and express these things. Most of us are ego protecting. Most of us are afraid and have too much pride to be open.<<

 

[Manure Spherian]

>>The coolest things to women are actually emotional honesty and vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength to let go and express these things.

That is fine with the right woman and right situation. And that’s not done for coolness or to impress women.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

It is a spectacularly attractive quality in a man for 2 main reasons:

1. Vulnerability that is genuine derives from a position of strength. This is because you have to have strength and authenticity to reveal yourself to another person. But you are well advised to choose wisely who you reveal yourself to.

2. This requires trust. If a man reveals himself it is an extension of great trust and as such must be guarded. If you do not choose wisely you risk pain, consequences you hadn’t anticipated and all manner of ills. This is why character matters so very much in the woman you choose. If she hasn’t got your back you can’t show her who you really are can you?

Food for thought Gents.

 

[Westminster]

Advice from the old lady:

It is a spectacularly attractive quality in a man for 2 main reasons:

1. Vulnerability that is genuine derives from a position of strength. This is because you have to have strength and authenticity to reveal yourself to another person. But you are well advised to choose wisely who you reveal yourself to.

2. This requires trust. If a man reveals himself it is an extension of great trust and as such must be guarded. If you do not choose wisely you risk pain, consequences you hadn’t anticipated and all manner of ills. This is why character matters so very much in the woman you choose. If she hasn’t got your back you can’t show her who you really are can you?

Food for thought Gents.

Wise words as ever from BeExcellent.

But just to reinforce - be very careful gentlemen who you reveal your vulnerabilities and secrets to, in fact anything about your past. I know that sounds paranoid but, in my experience, things have a habit of getting exaggerated and twisted against you once a marriage heads south.

In ways that can cause you a lot of damage, emotionally and materially.

 

[LTG71]

I just came across the following profile post from a member @tksniper who doesn't post very often but when he does, his posts are interesting and thoughtful..

I'm wondering what y'all think, and is what he posted been your experience?

>>The coolest things to women are actually emotional honesty and vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength to let go and express these things. Most of us are ego protecting. Most of us are afraid and have too much pride to be open.<<

Women want you to be honest as long as it doesn’t hurt their ego. Conversations are more often than not filtered to protect their fragile egos. Next time she asks you if she looks fat, tell her the honest truth and see how that goes over. You should be honest all the time, but in certain cases it could blow up in your face when a woman is involved. Depends on the amount of repercussion you want to deal with.

Women claim socially that they want men you show their vulnerabilities but nothing dries up a vagina faster than a man that is perceived to be weak.

BeExcellent pointed out a harsh fact, “be careful who you trust showing your vulnerabilities to.” This is because it can be used against you, which is sad and disgusting. Everyone on this planet goes through situations that knock them down. But god forbid, don’t tell anyone. Especially a woman that you are trying to get with.

Women are evolutionarily driven to seek a protector for her offspring. A guy that can’t be strong and persevere is seen as weak. Bad boys are desirable because on the outside they project the notion that they could conquer any problem or beat down an opponent if necessary. A guy that can get pushed around by her emotional chaos and get his a$$ kicked by the general public is not sexy.

A lot of women will say publicly what sounds good but their actions and behaviors show the truth. Most men are guarded because they have been burned or have seen other men get burned in the past. Once you get marked with the scarlet letter of “pvssy”, then it’s game over. Probably the only woman you can trust and show your vulnerabilities to without repercussions is your mother.

 

[obelisk]

Given that men are often black/white literal thinkers, they see a quote like OP's and apply it to everywhere up front and without nuance. To BEs point, this is a path to pain and suffering if you trust someone unworthy of your trust. Trust yet verify and reveal who you are gradually as she proves the strength of her character. The OP's quote is the ideal end state.

 

[pipeman84]

>>The coolest things to women are actually emotional honesty and vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength to let go and express these things. Most of us are ego protecting. Most of us are afraid and have too much pride to be open.<<

I think the quote contains a mix of falsehoods and misunderstandings. First sentence is a falsehood ... Confidence, self-Control, being a Challenge ... that's what attracts women. Emotional honesty and vulnerability, without the 3Cs equals turning your woman into your mommy or a therapist, which repels her and dries her pvssy . Excellent examples below:

- If you think being vulnerable will get you laid, is wrong, that's a covert contract, "I got fired I feel depressed, can you come to my house, I need you" that's vomit inducing

- If you think being honest will get you laid, again wrong, "I've never gone out with a girl a beautiful as you" eww that's a vomit inducing and a massive covert contract again.

The rest of the quote is a misunderstanding ... it doesn't take strength to express vulnerability ... any mentally broken blue pill guy can cry out his feelings in front of the woman he's supposed to lead, protect and provide for. It takes strength to hold it together and express vulnerability when alone, with a very close friend or a therapist/priest. Also, it's not that most of us are afraid and have too much pride, it's that most of us have enough common sense, enough testosterone and an innate knowing it's not the right thing to do.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Advice from the old lady:

It is a spectacularly attractive quality in a man for 2 main reasons:

1. Vulnerability that is genuine derives from a position of strength. This is because you have to have strength and authenticity to reveal yourself to another person. But you are well advised to choose wisely who you reveal yourself to.

2. This requires trust. If a man reveals himself it is an extension of great trust and as such must be guarded. If you do not choose wisely you risk pain, consequences you hadn’t anticipated and all manner of ills. This is why character matters so very much in the woman you choose. If she hasn’t got your back you can’t show her who you really are can you?

Food for thought Gents.

Advice from a not-so-old gent: vulnerability is a spectacularly attractive quality only when it makes for a feel-good story. Consider the following hypothetical examples:

Example 1: "I grew up in a broken home, my parents were poor, my dad used to beat me and my mom. However, I was able to overcome adversity and channel my pent up anger into building a successful business and becoming a millionaire." That's the kind of vulnerability that every woman can get behind.

Example 2: "I grew up in a broken home, my parents were poor, my dad used to beat me and my mom. As a result, I became sad and depressed and spent my 20's as a lonely virgin, playing video games and masturbating eight times a day". God help you if you ever show this kind of "vulnerability" to ANY woman.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Given that men are often black/white literal thinkers, they see a quote like OP's and apply it to everywhere up front and without nuance. To BEs point, this is a path to pain and suffering if you trust someone unworthy of your trust. Trust yet verify and reveal who you are gradually as she proves the strength of her character. The OP's quote is the ideal end state.

To add to this, certain things you don't reveal to anyone, even women that you trust 100%.

 

[The Duke]

Isn't it sad that as humans we have relationships with people that we can't be 100% honest with? Its always conditional, especially with women.

And I will go one step further, its women that are the issue here. I don't have these issues with my best two guy friends. Can't say that about women I have had long term relationships with. This is why I will always believe that the best men are superior to the best women.

Be very cautious with what you tell women, exactly what @BeExcellent said. What a shame its so true.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I'm wondering what y'all think, and is what he posted been your experience?

>>The coolest things to women are actually emotional honesty and vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength to let go and express these things. Most of us are ego protecting. Most of us are afraid and have too much pride to be open.<<

Its not about protecting our ego, its about protecting what we have and want to keep.

Of course women say they want you to tell her about your honest thoughts, problems and deepest emotions!


1.) This is the easiest way to weed out the weak and unworthy.
2.) Knowledge is power........ they memorize every word you ever say to them and they can use it against you in an argument or at family courts whenever they see fit.
3.) If they know your weakness, they will use it to manipulate you to their benefit.

Its bred into them by evolution, thats how they survived during much harder times then we have today.

You go ahead and tell that HB9 that she is the most beautiful women you ever had and that shes the love ofs your life and that you couldnt live another day without her. Then you tell her that you would give up everything just to be with her and see how well that goes for you.

She will think "ha, i am quite a catch, he adores me, i am the only one for him, what a lovely boyfriend he is....... maybe i can do better......"

Women DO NOT care about your struggles, they wait at the finish line and fvck the winner.

They have to look up to you and see the rock not a soyboy crying every day over his mean colleagues at work.

So...... unless someone important dies or your kid is seriously sick, NEVER show weakness!

 

[member162951]

You go ahead and tell that HB9 that she is the most beautiful women you ever had and that shes the love ofs your life and that you couldnt live another day without her. Then you tell her that you would give up everything just to be with her and see how well that goes for you.

Man the way some of you guys exaggerate, it boggles the mind.

Anyway, I highly doubt that this^^ is what @tksniper and @BeExcellent and others who agreed were referring to.

That's not being 'vulnerable,' that's needy and desperate AF and a gross exaggeration/hyperbole. Not to mention, plain stupid.

Perhaps @tksniper will return and expound. I've read a few other of his posts and he seems quite insightful and evolved and has a good grasp of the human existence.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Man the way some of you guys exaggerate, it boggles the mind.

Anyway, I highly doubt that this^^ is what @tksniper and @BeExcellent and others who agreed were referring to.

That's not being 'vulnerable,' that's needy and desperate AF and a gross exaggeration/hyperbole. Not to mention, plain stupid.

Perhaps @tksniper will return and expound. I've read a few other of his posts and he seems quite insightful and evolved and has a good grasp of the human existence.

Well, tell us what you would like to confess to your woman? What are these honest emotions and vulnerabilities you wish to share?

What is your background when it comes to ltr's?

 

[member162951]

Well, tell us what you would like to confess to your woman? What are these honest emotions and vulnerabilities you wish to share?

What is your background when it comes to ltr's?

This thread isn't about me, I simply quoted a profile post from another member I thought was interesting and asked opinions.

You gave me yours, it sounded like hyperbole and said so.

Leaving it there. Again perhaps the author of the post will return and expound.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Isn't it sad that as humans we have relationships with people that we can't be 100% honest with? Its always conditional, especially with women.

And I will go one step further, its women that are the issue here. I don't have these issues with my best two guy friends. Can't say that about women I have had long term relationships with. This is why I will always believe that the best men are superior to the best women.

Be very cautious with what you tell women, exactly what @BeExcellent said. What a shame its so true.

Yes it's sad but such is life. The only people who will (maybe) love you unconditionally are your parents....because they know that your failures are their failures too.

You can't trust your friends 100% either, no matter how far back you go. History is full of examples of great men suffering their downfall as a result of betrayal by close fiends. Jesus was betrayed by Judas. Cesar was betrayed by Brutus. Leonidas (king of Sparta) was betrayed by Ephialtes. Etc.

 

[BeExcellent]

This is why I think “48 Laws of Power” is required reading. It teaches you about human nature and interpersonal dynamics. You cannot underestimate their importance in your life.

Women love a winner that’s true. An overcomer of adversity. If ya’ll have seen the recent movie Napoleon it is a good depiction of female nature in a woman who deeply loved Napoleon however they both are flawed human beings but they understood one another and understood how the needed one another. Worth a watch, and it’s a good historical movie imo. You see many of the principles of 48 Laws at work. Talleyrand, Josephine & so on.

You don’t drivel to your woman. That’s not what vulnerability is. That’s just drama and not even your mother (if she’s worth her salt) is going to tolerate that. Vulnerability is more sharing who you are, your true motivations, your thoughts, dreams & goals. It’s who you really are, and yes, how you got there factors into it of course, but it’s more what you are about, what you need to improve to get there, and it’s all the associated human ness therein.

The right woman is Bonnie to your Clyde. She is that committed to your vision.

 

[Gamisch]

This thread isn't about me, I simply quoted a profile post from another member I thought was interesting and asked opinions.

You gave me yours, it sounded like hyperbole and said so.

Leaving it there. Again perhaps the author of the post will return and expound.

But hold up...YOU started the thread! You randomly qoute someone, get called out in YOUR OWN THREAD, and now you back away .

The question was :what are your credentials?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Anyway, I highly doubt that this^^ is what @tksniper and @BeExcellent and others who agreed were referring to.

That's not being 'vulnerable,' that's needy and desperate AF and a gross exaggeration/hyperbole. Not to mention, plain stupid.

Id say you got to have an opinion if you are so strongly advocating for Tksnipers referrings.

So.... if you think i am exaggerating, what emotions EXACTLY are you referring to that should be shared.

And yes it is about you and your background when people ask your opinion and the practical value of it.

You know, we have quite a lot of relationship experts here that have actually never lived with a woman under one roof.

You don’t drivel to your woman. That’s not what vulnerability is. That’s just drama and not even your mother (if she’s worth her salt) is going to tolerate that. Vulnerability is more sharing who you are, your true motivations, your thoughts, dreams & goals. It’s who you really are, and yes, how you got there factors into it of course, but it’s more what you are about, what you need to improve to get there, and it’s all the associated human ness therein.

Telling a woman that i´d strive to be a successfull entreprenour to become a great provider for my future family because my uncle wasnt and that i want to become a tri-athlete amateur champion because my father died of obesity is hardly "emotional honesty and vulnerability". Things like that are basic conversation for date 1, 2 or 3.

 

[Gamisch]

Great takes. As the thread develops I tend to agree that its actually COUNTERPRODUCTIVE for most men to be vulnerable around women.

I get our Queen B @BeExcellent ,and I'd wish a queen B for every member on sosauve. Unfortunately her presence here is just as unusual and unique as her ( admittedly seemingly)great qualities.

Most men will meet women who operate and think 180 degrees opposite.


(One thing that comes to mind is a FEMALE dating coach saying she find it ridiculous that her clients would drop a man for eating a popsicle, my experienced dj,s KNOW EXACTLY what she means by that!!)

I won't be ashamed to admit I went OP,s route before, but it always backfired . Or I'd say: it wasn't enough to keep shyte together. Eventually the c0ck carousel will call and no amount of "honesty and openness " will prevent her from going back, ESPECIALLY if she already been there( again, 90% of women you'll encounter will fit this description).

If anything, I am WAY more reserved nowadays around women. The deep shyte is something I keep to myself. I even stir away from any form of negative energy, gossip COMPLAINING ect nowadays.( I wont even say I am sick until AFTER yhe fact lolll) I keep it to myself.


I want a woman to prove to me that SHE is worthy of openness. That alone will take MONTHS for me. Most won't ever make it so far...i am willing learn however so lets discuss

 

[BeExcellent]

What I’m talking about comes down to sharing things you feel as a man. How you really feel about her, how you feel about family dynamics, what you fear, what motivates you and why, how you function emotionally.

That is what bonds two people together. Emotional connection. It is not for sissy’s folks. What are your disappointments, how have those shaped you, etc. etc.

Most women are unworthy, certainly. And some things are best left unsaid, just like a woman should never tell a man he is physically inadequate, especially around his junk. Some people are dum b asses in that regard and don’t care or consider how things they say might affect someone else. Those people are too relationship stupid to deserve a relationship but they are out in single land to be sure.