Plate of three months is mirroring me - time to move on?

[TheGambino]

Yes I am struggling a bit with this girl, as I've made some mistakes but the attraction is still high.

Obviousley she is important to me to a level that I write this, yes I admit that!

I made a long post about her last week as I got good responses from you guys.
In short. We been dating for a couple of months, in the beginning she showed all 100% signs of wanting a relationship after like 6 weeks. I did everything textbook, perfect and she was all hooked. Then as I wrote earlier we had a small argument and I left her house in a sweet relaxed way. Next day she texts me long story about how she felt bad and I ignored that. I also told her stupid stuff that I was in prison for a couple of days once for fighting and that I could kill a man if he harmed my family, well Idk I was off that day and I know that wasnt a good move, anyway.

We got back together and hooked up again. Then imo she told her parents all about (I assume this because she was eating dinner at her parents house and didnt pick up phone that day) me and after that day things changed. She didnt reacht out so much and we went 6 days of NC until I texted her.
I feel like her parents family and friends tell her that I am not good for her. I strongly feel this, because of what I said and since i am also not dutch, I am arab etc.

She then starts to treat me as a casual fvck buddy calling or texting late at night to come over and I did twice. Then I asked her out for a date and suddenly she is busy the upcoming weeks. It feels like she doens't want to go on a casual date because people around her convinced her that im not good for her, thats really how i feel about it. but I could be wrong. I made a small mistake by calling her out on her being busy that its weird and that I lose interest if someone is to busy for me.
After that I chill and tell her its no problem take her time.
I ghost her and she starts texting again (fear of loss). I ask her out and she tries to reschedule and I tell her I get back to her.

Then NYE I suddenly run in her. really by accident and we go for drinks. Have a great evening and she asks me to sleep at her place but I decline (really game playing). Tell her im busy and sorry I cant today.

Then finally a week later we schedule a date at my house. She told me don't do too much for my birthday please (which indicates to me, I don't want you to spend money on me because I don't want to commit to something) I feel that in my gut. I never tell her anything about relationships, committing, anything at all that could indicate that I want something serious. Just genuine interest and that's it.

It was her birthday earlier that week so I bought her a scarf. I still did it, because I felt it's so cheap to not give her anything.
I cook dinner 2 days ago, we have a great night of laughing, hooking up, talking and relaxing. All positive fun vibes and she says. ''You need a wife, I should come live here'' and ''I think im in love''.

Early in the evening she says, she can't stay the night. I play it cool tell her that its okay if she has to go, being indifferent. We have dinner, hook up and she stays for the night and leaves the next morning. She texts me immediatley after she left the whole day and tells me she has dinner with her mom that evening.

After that dinner she replies with 2 words answer on my comment of what I did that evening. ''sounds fun, great!'' I leave this on read and don't say anything and she also doesn't.

Then we have no contact for a whole full day and today I reach out the next day. ''Hey hope you have a great day as me, I just booked a vacation to the sun like you also did last week. How is your workday going?''

She on purpose reads this text and doesn't replie. So she shows me 'I am ignoring your text'.
She did this twice earlier after days of NC and then after an hour or two replied to me.

You have to understand, the cex is great, she is all clingy over me when were together and I also like her. I have my own house also so thats all good.

I need an answer in how to proceed and what is wisdom here.
I already know the mistakes I made but the most important thing here is how to proceed.

 

[Scaramouche]

Yes I am struggling a bit with this girl, as I've made some mistakes but the attraction is still high.

Obviousley she is important to me to a level that I write this, yes I admit that!

I made a long post about her last week as I got good responses from you guys.
In short. We been dating for a couple of months, in the beginning she showed all 100% signs of wanting a relationship after like 6 weeks. I did everything textbook, perfect and she was all hooked. Then as I wrote earlier we had a small argument and I left her house in a sweet relaxed way. Next day she texts me long story about how she felt bad and I ignored that. I also told her stupid stuff that I was in prison for a couple of days once for fighting and that I could kill a man if he harmed my family, well Idk I was off that day and I know that wasnt a good move, anyway.

We got back together and hooked up again. Then imo she told her parents all about (I assume this because she was eating dinner at her parents house and didnt pick up phone that day) me and after that day things changed. She didnt reacht out so much and we went 6 days of NC until I texted her.
I feel like her parents family and friends tell her that I am not good for her. I strongly feel this, because of what I said and since i am also not dutch, I am arab etc.

She then starts to treat me as a casual fvck buddy calling or texting late at night to come over and I did twice. Then I asked her out for a date and suddenly she is busy the upcoming weeks. It feels like she doens't want to go on a casual date because people around her convinced her that im not good for her, thats really how i feel about it. but I could be wrong. I made a small mistake by calling her out on her being busy that its weird and that I lose interest if someone is to busy for me.
After that I chill and tell her its no problem take her time.
I ghost her and she starts texting again (fear of loss). I ask her out and she tries to reschedule and I tell her I get back to her.

Then NYE I suddenly run in her. really by accident and we go for drinks. Have a great evening and she asks me to sleep at her place but I decline (really game playing). Tell her im busy and sorry I cant today.

Then finally a week later we schedule a date at my house. She told me don't do too much for my birthday please (which indicates to me, I don't want you to spend money on me because I don't want to commit to something) I feel that in my gut. I never tell her anything about relationships, committing, anything at all that could indicate that I want something serious. Just genuine interest and that's it.

It was her birthday earlier that week so I bought her a scarf. I still did it, because I felt it's so cheap to not give her anything.
I cook dinner 2 days ago, we have a great night of laughing, hooking up, talking and relaxing. All positive fun vibes and she says. ''You need a wife, I should come live here'' and ''I think im in love''.

Early in the evening she says, she can't stay the night. I play it cool tell her that its okay if she has to go, being indifferent. We have dinner, hook up and she stays for the night and leaves the next morning. She texts me immediatley after she left the whole day and tells me she has dinner with her mom that evening.

After that dinner she replies with 2 words answer on my comment of what I did that evening. ''sounds fun, great!'' I leave this on read and don't say anything and she also doesn't.

Then we have no contact for a whole full day and today I reach out the next day. ''Hey hope you have a great day as me, I just booked a vacation to the sun like you also did last week. How is your workday going?''

She on purpose reads this text and doesn't replie. So she shows me 'I am ignoring your text'.
She did this twice earlier after days of NC and then after an hour or two replied to me.

You have to understand, the cex is great, she is all clingy over me when were together and I also like her. I have my own house also so thats all good.

I need an answer in how to proceed and what is wisdom here.
I already know the mistakes I made but the most important thing here is how to proceed.

Hi Gambino,
No need to chuck her to the kerb....You have her measure...Sounds like a perfectly serviceable,if not perfect Plate,keep her that way...With Plates,you must close your eyes to what she gets up to when you are away...After All why condemn in her,that which you forgive in yourself?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Stop playing silly games. You think you are doing something smooth but this chick sees right thru all this nonsense and is playing chess while you are playing checkers.

 

[The Duke]

We told you the answers when you posted the same story last time. Get your schitt together. You like drama don't you.

 

[TheGambino]

This sounds a bit like hating @BackInTheGame78 I was indeed not sure about her, that explains everything.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I have a great idea!

How about making a posting about every six weeks about the same problem. Over and over and over again. And be sure not to follow the provided advice (that might resolve your problem). As long as you refer to her as a "plate" most forum members will not notice that you've obsessively invested more than ten paragraphs about a supposed 'pass-the-time girl' But who can blame you? After all, you've only been a forum member for 10+ years.

 

[Divorced w 3]

This is a good example of when you’re doing the right behaviors and taking it in stride, she’s giving you positive signals, and then you basically crumbled and told her your vulnerability in week six. You might as well have tattooed her name on your arm, you basically told her in between the lines that you need a confidant and were emotionally needy. She was on board for that possibly if things had progressed naturally. When you broke no contact multiple times you confirmed for her that she had you totally in the bag.

 

[TheGambino]

She didn’t disrespect me or anything major so reaching out also shows indifference. It shows that you don’t care if she pulls away. I checked in. Ok I’ll think about all this.

She replied btw

 

[Divorced w 3]

She didn’t disrespect me or anything major so reaching out also shows indifference. It shows that you don’t care if she pulls away. I checked in. Ok I’ll think about all this.

She replied btw

Yeah but bro you went NC, for why who knows but the point is that you did it. You flaked and she sees you

 

[Manure Spherian]

All is fair in spinning plates and pumping and dumping.

I don’t even know why men even care about the behaviors of so-called plates or about the ability to “walk away” being some big-man move.

 

[Glassguy]

She didn’t disrespect me or anything major so reaching out also shows indifference. It shows that you don’t care if she pulls away. I checked in. Ok I’ll think about all this.

She replied btw

Youre operating from a scarcity mindset, playing games and also folding when it comes time to put your chips in the pot.

You played games with this chick, her actions reflected her ability to see through your games as childish, your reaction to that was to chase her.

You would not have been in the situation youre in if you had not done so many things wrong and played games when she was INVESTING.

Then we have no contact for a whole full day and today I reach out the next day. ''Hey hope you have a great day as me, I just booked a vacation to the sun like you also did last week. How is your workday going?''

She went from 2 word responses to ignoring you and you reached back out. Not saying it was wrong, but what you responded with isnt what i would have sent AT ALL after just hooking up with her a few days ago.

I would have said:
Me:"You need to stop doing that so much..."
Her: Doing what?
Me: Thinking about (something you did to her sexually that she enjoyed).......
Her: Oh I have thought about that....
Me: Good. Lets stop thinking and start doing. Come over to my place at 8pm Thursday. Dont be late or Ill have to spank you


That is what you should be doing over text. Keep it light and fun, get her mind on something you did sexually to her and set up the next meet up/date/playtime.

Who cares how her day is going! Reframe the situation as the you being direct, dominate and sexual. If she starts investing, longer responses, less time for her to respond, etc., keep doing it.
Stop throwing the BF vibes her way and see if she picks up the slack.

 

[handle]

I don't get it, what's the specific problem? That you texted her and she didn't respond?
Treat it like any other case of someone not responding...

 

[TheGambino]

Youre operating from a scarcity mindset, playing games and also folding when it comes time to put your chips in the pot.

You played games with this chick, her actions reflected her ability to see through your games as childish, your reaction to that was to chase her.

You would not have been in the situation youre in if you had not done so many things wrong and played games when she was INVESTING.


She went from 2 word responses to ignoring you and you reached back out. Not saying it was wrong, but what you responded with isnt what i would have sent AT ALL after just hooking up with her a few days ago.

I would have said:
Me:"You need to stop doing that so much..."
Her: Doing what?
Me: Thinking about (something you did to her sexually that she enjoyed).......
Her: Oh I have thought about that....
Me: Good. Lets stop thinking and start doing. Come over to my place at 8pm Thursday. Dont be late or Ill have to spank you


That is what you should be doing over text. Keep it light and fun, get her mind on something you did sexually to her and set up the next meet up/date/playtime.

Who cares how her day is going! Reframe the situation as the you being direct, dominate and sexual. If she starts investing, longer responses, less time for her to respond, etc., keep doing it.
Stop throwing the BF vibes her way and see if she picks up the slack.

This is a quality answer I can work with and gives me insights of what I need @Glassguy thnx again. You are the sharpest man I know when it comes to this stuff

 

[The Duke]

All is fair in spinning plates and pumping and dumping.

I don’t even know why men even care about the behaviors of so-called plates or about the ability to “walk away” being some big-man move.

I can think of two things. Very fragile ego's and/or they aren't actually spinning plates like they claim.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Yes I am struggling a bit with this girl, as I've made some mistakes but the attraction is still high.

Obviousley she is important to me to a level that I write this, yes I admit that!

I made a long post about her last week as I got good responses from you guys.
In short. We been dating for a couple of months, in the beginning she showed all 100% signs of wanting a relationship after like 6 weeks. I did everything textbook, perfect and she was all hooked. Then as I wrote earlier we had a small argument and I left her house in a sweet relaxed way. Next day she texts me long story about how she felt bad and I ignored that. I also told her stupid stuff that I was in prison for a couple of days once for fighting and that I could kill a man if he harmed my family, well Idk I was off that day and I know that wasnt a good move, anyway.

We got back together and hooked up again. Then imo she told her parents all about (I assume this because she was eating dinner at her parents house and didnt pick up phone that day) me and after that day things changed. She didnt reacht out so much and we went 6 days of NC until I texted her.
I feel like her parents family and friends tell her that I am not good for her. I strongly feel this, because of what I said and since i am also not dutch, I am arab etc.

She then starts to treat me as a casual fvck buddy calling or texting late at night to come over and I did twice. Then I asked her out for a date and suddenly she is busy the upcoming weeks. It feels like she doens't want to go on a casual date because people around her convinced her that im not good for her, thats really how i feel about it. but I could be wrong. I made a small mistake by calling her out on her being busy that its weird and that I lose interest if someone is to busy for me.
After that I chill and tell her its no problem take her time.
I ghost her and she starts texting again (fear of loss). I ask her out and she tries to reschedule and I tell her I get back to her.

Then NYE I suddenly run in her. really by accident and we go for drinks. Have a great evening and she asks me to sleep at her place but I decline (really game playing). Tell her im busy and sorry I cant today.

Then finally a week later we schedule a date at my house. She told me don't do too much for my birthday please (which indicates to me, I don't want you to spend money on me because I don't want to commit to something) I feel that in my gut. I never tell her anything about relationships, committing, anything at all that could indicate that I want something serious. Just genuine interest and that's it.

It was her birthday earlier that week so I bought her a scarf. I still did it, because I felt it's so cheap to not give her anything.
I cook dinner 2 days ago, we have a great night of laughing, hooking up, talking and relaxing. All positive fun vibes and she says. ''You need a wife, I should come live here'' and ''I think im in love''.

Early in the evening she says, she can't stay the night. I play it cool tell her that its okay if she has to go, being indifferent. We have dinner, hook up and she stays for the night and leaves the next morning. She texts me immediatley after she left the whole day and tells me she has dinner with her mom that evening.

After that dinner she replies with 2 words answer on my comment of what I did that evening. ''sounds fun, great!'' I leave this on read and don't say anything and she also doesn't.

Then we have no contact for a whole full day and today I reach out the next day. ''Hey hope you have a great day as me, I just booked a vacation to the sun like you also did last week. How is your workday going?''

She on purpose reads this text and doesn't replie. So she shows me 'I am ignoring your text'.
She did this twice earlier after days of NC and then after an hour or two replied to me.

You have to understand, the cex is great, she is all clingy over me when were together and I also like her. I have my own house also so thats all good.

I need an answer in how to proceed and what is wisdom here.
I already know the mistakes I made but the most important thing here is how to proceed.

Happy new year. Guten Mornin' lev it to da weeken!