Horrifying story about infidelity

[Pandora]

So I am talking to a Turkish woman I met online. She and her husband came to the USA about 14 yrs ago. The man did not want her to work or go to school. She fought back and eventually went to school and started work. Well the inevitable happened and she started getting a lot of attention and she eventually developed an extra marital relationship with another. Her husband found the love letter and divorced.

Now she started dating and she is getting demolished in the dating market. She is 39 and is attractive and has a son. The guy that she dating is an "ethnic dude" that is not taking her seriously. He is stringing her along. Of course. American men are not trying to settle down with a 39 yr old single mom. She thought that the grass is greener.

The husband wants to divorce under Turkish law. He knows that he will get screwed under American law. She is telling me that she loves the feeling of being in love. She loves limerence. I told her that the freshness is incompatible with a stable long term relationship. She agrees.

Her ex husband had his issues but I think she still did him dirty. Ughh this marriage thing is ridiculous. Btw she is telling me so many Redpill gems. I will include them later. Foreign women are very honest.

 

[Pandora]

Interesting points in the convo:

1.) She said that she is in love with love. She loves limerance. In a long term relationship limerance eventually goes away. Some low consciousness women need to keep feeling limerence.

2.) She is dating 2 men. One is super nice to her and one is stringing her along. The nice guy is trying to get serious with her. The other guy is indifferent to her. She is stuck on the indifferent guy. She realizes that she chases toxic men because that is what she is used to. Her father was emotionally unavailable. Her husband was toxic. She feels comfortable in toxic relationships.

3.) This woman admits that the nice guy is better looking and is better in bed. He also has more money. Yet she is frustrated that she cant get over the indifferent guy.

4.) Neither of these guys graciously take her out to dinner. She is frustrated that American men want to go Dutch on dates.

5.) Her ex husband knew that if she worked then she would be tempted to cheat. This what happened. She was reluctant to admit that her ex husband was right. Accountability is kryptonite.

6.) She likes when men validate her beauty. It is a drug to her. Without make up she is a 5/10 but with makeup she looks good.

7.) She is frustrated at how un possessive that American men are. She wants them to be traditional. I told her that she should go back to her home country if she wants a traditional man. America is full of weak men.

8.) She does not recommend marriage. She says the love will eventually fade. Btw she has a kid with her ex husband.

This conversation really has me afraid of marriage.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

She’s addicted to the dopamine rush of the new relationship. A lot of men are too, it’s the reason for the current shyte show - people are addicted to strange.

Dopamine is as powerful a drug as cocaine, which is a dopamine agonist - it uses the same cell wall binding sites and activates dopamine.

Many people confuse the dopamine high with love. She’s one of them.

 

[Dr.Suave]

This conversation really has me afraid of marriage.

Its cool if you dont want to get married but You cant live in fear.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Slight hijack: dopamine is a great resource for DJ’s, if you learn how to spike it in a chick you can borderline guide their behaviors, it is a powerful skill to have. In a bad actor’s hands it is dangerous.

 

[Westminster]

Slight hijack: dopamine is a great resource for DJ’s, if you learn how to spike it in a chick you can borderline guide their behaviors, it is a powerful skill to have. In a bad actor’s hands it is dangerous.

Can you explain how to get a woman's dopamine to spike please, Pierce.

 

[pipeman84]

This conversation really has me afraid of marriage.

What's actually horrifying about OP is how you as an experienced SS member take at face value and draw dire conclusions about marriage from what a 39yrs old divorced single mom hoe tells you.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Can you explain how to get a woman's dopamine to spike please, Pierce.

As with most things it’s a process. And requires a lot of work from the man.

She has to be attracted to you PHYSICALLY to start.

She has to be willing to be intimate with you sexually. Getting there is based on you and the work you’ve done.

Let’s say there is a woman that is already having sex with me, and I want to make her fall in love with me. You have to be an observant lover, learn her triggers and most importantly you have to be able to bring her to orgasm, reliably and repeatedly.

One example, I will provide:

A simple hack is to ask her to look you in the eyes as you’re giving her rip-roaring O’s. You have to already be an accomplished lover. Say gently but firmly, “open your eyes and look at me”, hold her stare, if she stops, you insist. Keep eyes locked on hers and she’s going to O within 30 seconds tops, your timing needs to be exact, how you do that is your responsibility. Then hold her tight and close and while she’s panting and shaking still, kiss her. Again you need to be a good kisser - kissing is an art. Then pull her in and let her hear or feel your breath on her ear, try to synch your breaths with hers or if hers are rapid tell her whispering in her ear: “slow down baby, you’re safe in my arms, breathe with me”. Still inside her tell her to focus her eyes on yours, and breathe in unison. Sometimes, without you moving, outside of flexing your pelvic floor, she may orgasm again. That right there is a high level parlor trick.

If she’s capable of bonding, doing this or a variation of it will help bind her to you.

There are many ways to do it, but you’ll have buy my book and program now for only $3000.00! /sarcasm

 

[Westminster]

Thanks, Pierce. Great post, as ever

 

[Manure Spherian]

What's actually horrifying about OP is how you as an experienced SS member take at face value and draw dire conclusions about marriage from what a 39yrs old divorced single mom hoe tells you.

I’m not directing this at Pandora, but despite the inflated risk of marriage these days, I think the “not getting married was my best move” meme is growing tired.

First off, many men who say this should not get married because they are not husband material or fit for fatherhood.

Second, they know they’re not getting married mostly because they don’t want to, risk aside. Saying not getting married is a wise decision makes them appear as if they were so wanted but rejected opportunities from women who wanted to.

Third, they never had women who wanted to marry them in the first place.

Fourth, as you’ve said, they use examples of low-grade women as examples of why men shouldn’t get married, women who are worthless for marriage.

Some of these men are into LTR’s and have had quite the roster of LTR’s.

I consider LTR, being “bf and gf” to be faux-marriage. So some anti-marriage men are married whether like it or not despite no government recognition.

Again, this post is not directed at Pandora. Your post reminded me of the “never getting married” meme.

 

[Pandora]

She’s addicted to the dopamine rush of the new relationship. A lot of men are too, it’s the reason for the current shyte show - people are addicted to strange.

Dopamine is as powerful a drug as cocaine, which is a dopamine agonist - it uses the same cell wall binding sites and activates dopamine.

Many people confuse the dopamine high with love. She’s one of them.

Exactly. This is it. The need for novelty is what ruins good relationships. I struggle with wanting sexual novelty when I am in relationships.

Healthy long term relationships are stable and boring. They have to be.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Exactly. This is it. The need for novelty is what ruins good relationships. I struggle with wanting sexual novelty when I am in relationships.

Healthy long term relationships are stable and boring. They have to be.

Well, then do not do things to make her think you are something you’re not…

 

[BeExcellent]

Exactly. This is it. The need for novelty is what ruins good relationships. I struggle with wanting sexual novelty when I am in relationships.

Healthy long term relationships are stable and boring. They have to be.

If your LTR is boring then the LTR is populated by two boring people. Bored people are typically boring people. I’ve never been in a boring relationship. But I’m not bored or boring and I am not attracted to boring men. Sexual desire is the magic in any relationship. It builds the bond. It deepens the connection. A LTR partner or marriage partner who you are bonded to and with whom you (both parties must do this) continue to invest and explore and create experiences with is not going to become boring to you.

Partners in boring LTRs and marriages have gotten lazy and at some point began taking the relationship for granted. In a LTR you have to constantly be aware of this. In yourself; in your partner. You each have to continually invest in each other; in the marriage. Lazy people stop staying fit, lazy people stop dressing well, lazy people default to putting the kids first rather than the partner. Lazy people are all too common.

And there is an art to being intriguing within a LTR or marriage. One must maintain one’s edge, one’s desirability to the partner, but also to others. As Esther Perel notes in her material “Mating in Captivity” one of the themes is the opposition of Sexual Desire versus Comfort in marriage. Successful couples navigate this inherent conflicting interest well, unsuccessful couples don’t. But to navigate it well you must have an awareness of it, consciously or subconsciously (better because then it is woven into Who. You. Are.)

I know how to read the dynamics of my relationship very well. I know when to oscillate nearer and when to pull back, maintaining the sexual tension. I know when to poke the tiger and when to pet the tiger.

As such the tiger is occupied with thoughts of me, consciously and subconsciously (and in his dreams). This is a skill learned over a lifetime of human interactions and it is rooted in my intrinsic value (which, as Pierce mentioned, you HAVE to show up with intrinsic value).

This lady got lazy & bored in her marriage, went looking outside the marriage for adventure instead of creating adventure within her marriage (and her ex husband did not pay attention either or understand what was happening or why; they both were checked out. No wonder it failed. It’s on them both.

She now is in the dating realm dealing with men like Pierce who know how to behave intrinsically in a push pull way, and she’s at such a man’s mercy because she is unaware and sleepwalking through life, not realizing she’s always a move behind.

 

[Bokanovsky]

So I am talking to a Turkish woman I met online. She and her husband came to the USA about 14 yrs ago. The man did not want her to work or go to school. She fought back and eventually went to school and started work. Well the inevitable happened and she started getting a lot of attention and she eventually developed an extra marital relationship with another. Her husband found the love letter and divorced.

Now she started dating and she is getting demolished in the dating market. She is 39 and is attractive and has a son. The guy that she dating is an "ethnic dude" that is not taking her seriously. He is stringing her along. Of course. American men are not trying to settle down with a 39 yr old single mom. She thought that the grass is greener.

The husband wants to divorce under Turkish law. He knows that he will get screwed under American law. She is telling me that she loves the feeling of being in love. She loves limerence. I told her that the freshness is incompatible with a stable long term relationship. She agrees.

Her ex husband had his issues but I think she still did him dirty. Ughh this marriage thing is ridiculous. Btw she is telling me so many Redpill gems. I will include them later. Foreign women are very honest.

And what exactly do you get out of these conversations with a Turkish single mom? Are you aiming to be guy #3?

 

[Pandora]

And what exactly do you get out of these conversations with a Turkish single mom? Are you aiming to be guy #3?

I find it fascinating. The psychology behind it is interesting to me. This forum is a female psychology forum. And to be honest she was good looking...lemme not lie too much. I was considering but now im good.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Avoid Turkish women. They are the least likely to be open to taking it up the ass. Italian women are the most open to anal.

 

[Pandora]

If your LTR is boring then the LTR is populated by two boring people. Bored people are typically boring people. I’ve never been in a boring relationship. But I’m not bored or boring and I am not attracted to boring men. Sexual desire is the magic in any relationship. It builds the bond. It deepens the connection. A LTR partner or marriage partner who you are bonded to and with whom you (both parties must do this) continue to invest and explore and create experiences with is not going to become boring to you.

Partners in boring LTRs and marriages have gotten lazy and at some point began taking the relationship for granted. In a LTR you have to constantly be aware of this. In yourself; in your partner. You each have to continually invest in each other; in the marriage. Lazy people stop staying fit, lazy people stop dressing well, lazy people default to putting the kids first rather than the partner. Lazy people are all too common.

And there is an art to being intriguing within a LTR or marriage. One must maintain one’s edge, one’s desirability to the partner, but also to others. As Esther Perel notes in her material “Mating in Captivity” one of the themes is the opposition of Sexual Desire versus Comfort in marriage. Successful couples navigate this inherent conflicting interest well, unsuccessful couples don’t. But to navigate it well you must have an awareness of it, consciously or subconsciously (better because then it is woven into Who. You. Are.)

I know how to read the dynamics of my relationship very well. I know when to oscillate nearer and when to pull back, maintaining the sexual tension. I know when to poke the tiger and when to pet the tiger.

As such the tiger is occupied with thoughts of me, consciously and subconsciously (and in his dreams). This is a skill learned over a lifetime of human interactions and it is rooted in my intrinsic value (which, as Pierce mentioned, you HAVE to show up with intrinsic value).

This lady got lazy & bored in her marriage, went looking outside the marriage for adventure instead of creating adventure within her marriage (and her ex husband did not pay attention either or understand what was happening or why; they both were checked out. No wonder it failed. It’s on them both.

She now is in the dating realm dealing with men like Pierce who know how to behave intrinsically in a push pull way, and she’s at such a man’s mercy because she is unaware and sleepwalking through life, not realizing she’s always a move behind.

Its easy to say marriage is not supposed to be boring. The reality is probably different when you have kids and have to work 50 hour weeks.

My relationship is not boring but I imagine things will be different when I have kids.

If you can keep your marriage life not boring then more power to you. I think I can do it though.

 

[member162951]

Agree with @BeExcellent . Great video by Esther Perel, I highly recommend.

Watch it together! Learn together.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Not horrifying. Long term monogamy is not compatible with humanity IMO.

5.) Her ex husband knew that if she worked then she would be tempted to cheat. This what happened.

Gee I wonder why. Just another dude trying to draw "boundaries" around someone else. Self fulfilling prophecy because of his lack of frame. (Though we don't have his side of the story.)

This guy would fit right in on SS. "I told her not to do it and she did anyway." Filter, people, have some standards.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Slight hijack: dopamine is a great resource for DJ’s, if you learn how to spike it in a chick you can borderline guide their behaviors, it is a powerful skill to have. In a bad actor’s hands it is dangerous.

In a bad actor's hands it becomes an addiction that causes a loss of self-control that cannot be regained.