LMR or Something Else? How Would You Have Proceeded?

[jamesfromhouston]

Hello Gents.

I was at a nightclub with my friends and bumped hot chick that I previously met at the same club on a different occasion.

The whole night, things were golden. Me and the chick were hanging and had a lot of fun dancing and eventually making out.

I felt she was all over me in the club. She would put her arms around me. Cling to me. Hold onto my hands. Hug me intensely. Make out intensely with me several times. Bite me and tongue me playfully. We just enjoyed the moment and had a lot of fun. I was obviously escalating as well, taking the lead, touching her, guiding her, kissing her and just doing my thing.

I thought the IL was definitely high. So at the end of it I pulled the trigger and invited her over to my apartment and she said yes.

After we got to my place, she suddenly became a bit cold. Eventually we settled on my bed and I tried to make out with her but she was a bit more resistant.

I persisted a few times and tried to touch her up but she literally started shielding herself which was very weird. Made me wonder why she said yes to coming over.

I suspect it was ASD or some form of LMR so I would stop for awhile in my advances and act slightly disinterested but she didn't really respond to these besides asking me if I am ok. She just told me she wanted to go to bed.

In the end, I sent her home.

What exactly happened and how would you guys have proceeded in that situation?

-James

 

[mikedee]

Hello Gents.

I was at a nightclub with my friends and bumped hot chick that I previously met at the same club on a different occasion.

The whole night, things were golden. Me and the chick were hanging and had a lot of fun dancing and eventually making out.

I felt she was all over me in the club. She would put her arms around me. Cling to me. Hold onto my hands. Hug me intensely. Make out intensely with me several times. Bite me and tongue me playfully. We just enjoyed the moment and had a lot of fun. I was obviously escalating as well, taking the lead, touching her, guiding her, kissing her and just doing my thing.

I thought the IL was definitely high. So at the end of it I pulled the trigger and invited her over to my apartment and she said yes.

After we got to my place, she suddenly became a bit cold. Eventually we settled on my bed and I tried to make out with her but she was a bit more resistant.

I persisted a few times and tried to touch her up but she literally started shielding herself which was very weird. Made me wonder why she said yes to coming over.

I suspect it was ASD or some form of LMR so I would stop for awhile in my advances and act slightly disinterested but she didn't really respond to these besides asking me if I am ok. She just told me she wanted to go to bed.

In the end, I sent her home.

What exactly happened and how would you guys have proceeded in that situation?

-James

That sucks when it happens, I don't think you did anything wrong. You will never know why she went cold. Forget about it.
But I suspect another guy is in the picture, like her bf she was about to break up with, a new guys she has met, etc.

Or she is just a tease.

 

[Macadellic]

she likes to party just like you do

back at my place no big deal
Let her sleep

wake up cook sum breakfast with mimosas
She loves to party
Have new experiences

set it up as
Bring your gf’s over to pregame
my friends will be here let’s all go to club together

 

[Divorced w 3]

she likes to party just like you do

back at my place no big deal
Let her sleep

wake up cook sum breakfast with mimosas
She loves to party
Have new experiences

set it up as
Bring your gf’s over to pregame
my friends will be here let’s all go to club together

I like that. I sense she had some potentially slvt concern and letting her crash and then being super sweet to her, and saying we should all hang some time and then never calling her again would have been a good recovery. Let her text him a couple days later which would have been all but certain. Very good idea.

 

[Macadellic]

I like that. I sense she had some potentially slvt concern and letting her crash and then being super sweet to her, and saying we should all hang some time and then never calling her again would have been a good recovery. Let her text him a couple days later which would have been all but certain. Very good idea.

next thing you know she’s pointing you out to her girlfriends saying he’s safe we could crash at his place

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

After we got to my place, she suddenly became a bit cold. Eventually we settled on my bed and I tried to make out with her but she was a bit more resistant.

Something about you or your apartment made her feel unsafe.

One of my kittens went to visit a mutual acquaintance who just got a new apartment and the austerity of the apartment ("It looked like Patrick Bateman's apartment") gave her serious serial killer vibes.

When a woman is in heat and suddenly turns off the heat, she's not just being 'mercurial'. Something disturbed her and put her off sex.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Something about you or your apartment made her feel unsafe.

One of my kittens went to visit a mutual acquaintance who just got a new apartment and the austerity of the apartment ("It looked like Patrick Bateman's apartment") gave her serious serial killer vibes.

When a woman is in heat and suddenly turns off the heat, she's not just being 'mercurial'. Something disturbed her and put her off sex.

Could be. But odd to me as other women had been fine with it. Its the same place that I bedded other chicks. I am suspecting its ASD, she doesn't want to feel like a slut. Or maybe other guy in the picture. Kind of annoying because I thought everything was in the basket by the end of the night.

 

[mikedee]

next thing you know she’s pointing you out to her girlfriends saying he’s safe we could crash at his place

And you're officially in the friendzone.

 

[Barrister]

If I had to guess she probably has a recent ex-boyfriend that she isn't over. She was at the club to find someone to fvck around with but you lost the momentum from going to the club to your place because she started to overthink things and may have a bit of an anti-slut defense on top of it. It happens. I have been in this spot as well and the best you can do is tell her it isn't a big deal, no worries, hit you up later, and send her home. Just like you did.

From what you describe, this was a HER issue -- nothing wrong you did.

 

[Divorced w 3]

And you're officially in the friendzone.

Maybe, but the idea to let her crash, be super cool and then make her eggs in the morning and send her on her way and never call her was a super super super slick recovery. Like honestly the best idea I have heard in a long time. Because next time, when she hits him up, he just says oh yeah I have friends coming by, (make sure some are female) bring a couple of yours, and in no time at all he’s back in the drivers seat, and if anything he’s running super high social proof

 

[Divorced w 3]

next thing you know she’s pointing you out to her girlfriends saying he’s safe we could crash at his place

Yup yup

 

[The Duke]

Probably some other guy in the picture. I took a girl I had met in a bar one nite that came on super strong to my car. I was fingering her and she was rubbing me. She gets a text and that was the end. It was her boyfriend. Now she wanted to go home. It went from 100mph to 20mph.

I've had a few do this. They get mad at their boyfriends and are out at some bar. They are seeking validation to feel better about themselves so they make it obvious.

If its too good to be true, it probably is.

I finally learned to blow these types off. It always ended the same.

 

[Solomon]

Something about you or your apartment made her feel unsafe.

One of my kittens went to visit a mutual acquaintance who just got a new apartment and the austerity of the apartment ("It looked like Patrick Bateman's apartment") gave her serious serial killer vibes.

When a woman is in heat and suddenly turns off the heat, she's not just being 'mercurial'. Something disturbed her and put her off sex.

Yeah either OP's apartment is dirty, or maybe he lives in a bad part of town and the girl expected something fly
But definitely the apartment, maybe OP you need to clean it up and get some air freshener my guy

 

[SW15]

I pulled the trigger and invited her over to my apartment and she said yes.

Very good move by doing this.

After we got to my place, she suddenly became a bit cold. Eventually we settled on my bed and I tried to make out with her but she was a bit more resistant.

I persisted a few times and tried to touch her up but she literally started shielding herself which was very weird. Made me wonder why she said yes to coming over.

I suspect it was ASD or some form of LMR so I would stop for awhile in my advances and act slightly disinterested but she didn't really respond to these besides asking me if I am ok. She just told me she wanted to go to bed.

In the end, I sent her home.

What exactly happened and how would you guys have proceeded in that situation?

Yeah either OP's apartment is dirty, or maybe he lives in a bad part of town and the girl expected something fly
But definitely the apartment, maybe OP you need to clean it up and get some air freshener my guy

Sending her home was all you could do in that situation based on how she was acting.

Now, we've got to consider your apartment. Below, I'll list some things about apartments that commonly turn off women, starting with interior characteristics.

1. What's the level of cleanliness inside the apartment? An apartment that is too dirty/messy will either turn off a woman for same night sex from a bar or turn off women from ever wanting to repeat with you.

2. Are any of your home furnishings or home electronics outdated? Do any of them not fit the space you have well?

3. Is there anything wrong with the lighting in your apartment?

4. Is the exterior of your apartment outdated looking? In Sun Belt states in the USA, this usually applies to pre-1990 construction. Women in the Sun Belt metro areas are often turned off by pre-1990 buildings. However, if Chad Thundercocck lives in a pre-1990 building in the Sun Belt, he is likely able to get away with this. Is there anything wrong with the landscaping around the building?

5. Like @Solomon mentions, is it in a less desirable neighborhood in the city? That can also affect things and being in a less desirable area often prompts items from #4.

If I had to guess she probably has a recent ex-boyfriend that she isn't over. She was at the club to find someone to fvck around with but you lost the momentum from going to the club to your place because she started to overthink things and may have a bit of an anti-slut defense on top of it. It happens. I have been in this spot as well and the best you can do is tell her it isn't a big deal, no worries, hit you up later, and send her home. Just like you did.

From what you describe, this was a HER issue -- nothing wrong you did.

Probably some other guy in the picture. I took a girl I had met in a bar one nite that came on super strong to my car. I was fingering her and she was rubbing me. She gets a text and that was the end. It was her boyfriend. Now she wanted to go home. It went from 100mph to 20mph.

I've had a few do this. They get mad at their boyfriends and are out at some bar. They are seeking validation to feel better about themselves so they make it obvious.

If its too good to be true, it probably is.

I finally learned to blow these types off. It always ended the same.

These are both possibilities.

 

[Bokanovsky]

What exactly happened and how would you guys have proceeded in that situation?

It sounds like the effect of alcohol/drugs/whatever else she was on at the club subsided by the time she got to your place.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Thanks everyone for the input.

I think it is unlikely that it was my apartment. I live in an upscale place and my apartment is very clean and well decorated. Never had any complaints but compliments about it from girls. I can see how this can be an issue but I am sure it is not in my case.

Reading through everyone's comments I am siding more with some ASD/Other Guy/Ex/Whatever Weird Mental state thing she was in.

One more question: would you guys continue to pursue this girl? Should I set another date and go for a lay again? Would the outcome be the same again? Would you guys just NEXT this one altogether? She recently messaged me about something unrelated. I guess she felt bad? Should I set up a meet again?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

One more question: would you guys continue to pursue this girl? Should I set another date and go for a lay again? Would the outcome be the same again? Would you guys just NEXT this one altogether? She recently messaged me about something unrelated. I guess she felt bad? Should I set up a meet again?

If you like her, I would set up another date, but you need to stop putting effort in getting her validation. In essence, don't care so much about the outcome.