You dont know anything at 30 yrs old

[Pandora]

I am sure all you guys can relate to this post. I have grown so much in the last 8yrs. When I was 30yrs old I thought I was wise. I am a totally different person now. My political views including views on everything else is so much more nuanced now.

Its sobering to realize how ignorant I was. It is humbling to think that when I am 48 i will look back and say " damn i did not know anything when I was 38".

Life is crazy. The more you know the more you realize that you don't know anything.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I think there´s always something to learn. Many great posters have dissapeared but I dont see myself leaving anytime soon.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I used to always look back on myself and how I was 1-3 years ago and would always say "I was an idiot". However I've noticed that those intervals are becoming longer as I get older and I wouldn't really say I was an idiot a few years ago, not even 5 years ago. What's changed is dealing with cognitive dissonance and learning to accept conflicting beliefs by realizing you don't know enough.

Of course, I expect to be more wise 10 years than now, but the difference in wisdom between 30 and 40 probably isn't as great as 20 -> 30, and like you said a lot of it may be refinement and nuance. Wisdom accumulates only in retrospect and it's mostly from learning about your mistakes. Most people make many mistakes in their 20s and you should know them by the time you're in your early 30s imo.

On that note, it seems like some people stop "growing" after 30. They think they already know everything an aren't open to new information that may challenge their beliefs and certainly aren't going to undergo paradigm shifts or admit to themselves that they may be wrong about many things. So if your head isn't on straight by 30 or so, it seems unlikely anything would change by 40.

 

[Macadellic]

If you’re not learning you’re not growing

 

[Killakittie]

I don't know anything now at 38. To me the key is to always maintain an open mind and NEVER think you got it nailed down. The ego is a killer of progress. As much as arrogance or impulsiveness.
I seem to be enjoying my solitude more as I age.

 

[Mike32ct]

The information/advice was always there, but you don’t necessarily appreciate it and/or take it seriously until much later.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The information/advice was always there, but you don’t necessarily appreciate it and/or take it seriously until much later.

I've always maintained that advice is overrated, you have to experience things for yourself to truly understand them, even if you know they're a mistake, just roll with it if everything is pointing you towards it. I really believe in the adage "a fool who persists in his folly will become wise". Stumble forward, embrace failures.

The alternative is doing what others tell you and not thinking for yourself, not trusting your gut, never taking risks... you won't learn a damn thing. Besides, everyone is different and some people can go completely off the rails and do wild, ill-advised, unconventional things and end up making it work for them anyway. Men who are bold, take risk, and break convention can change society. Otherwise we'll all be unthinking NPCs.

 

[Deranged]

When I was 30yrs old I thought I was wise.

Right?! Going even further back; when I grew from 18 to 25 I thought I was wise. Like I had improved exponentially, in every aspect. Isn't it hilarious. I was still just a child chasing tail.

The ego is a killer of progress. As much as arrogance or impulsiveness.

Bingo. The more you know the more you realize you don't know.

 

[BeExcellent]

And you in time learn it’s OK not to know all the answers. In youth we all tend toward being know it alls. With more time and greater experience you learn to acknowledge that you don’t know stuff. And you get more comfortable admitting when you don’t know.

 

[Baibars]

The more you experience and learn the more you realize how less you know.
I remember when I joined this forum a few years ago after splitting up with my children’s mother and I thought I suddenly figured out everything just to get fcked over in my last relationship.

I also realized that I learn more when I’m in a uncomfortable situation. My dad was very lucky with my mom because she never left no matter what he did but he also didn’t evolve much because of that.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Flexpert,
" I've always maintained that advice is overrated, you have to experience things for yourself to truly understand them, even if you know they're a mistake, just roll with it"....Mate I don't have to jump off a cliff to know it's going to hurt!

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Hi Flexpert,
" I've always maintained that advice is overrated, you have to experience things for yourself to truly understand them, even if you know they're a mistake, just roll with it"....Mate I don't have to jump off a cliff to know it's going to hurt!

It depends on what we're talking about. As a motorcycle rider I take the advice that seasoned riders/coaches share without question, because it's not worth getting brain damage to learn how to be safe in traffic. They learned from their mistakes and shared them so I'll listen intently. I don't need to experience jumping off a cliff that it would hurt me or kill me to jump off a cliff. I'm talking about more nuanced things that have less obvious explainations or answers.

Problem is, if you are blindly doing what people/society at large tells you this can be a mistake, especially if your gut tells you otherwise. Maybe your gut is telling you otherwise because you are an individual with different circumstances and you know it. Much of our common sense is just flat out unhelpful or even harmful.

 

[Fruitbat]

For me in my early 40s the real change was about 36 onwards. Realised how I had sold myself short for so long and now it’s made me pretty ruthless, career especially.

The other thing to note is that as you age, the world gives you automatic respect. Suddenly people treat you differently and it becomes easier.

I absolutely agree that experience is something money can’t buy and it’s essential. I work with younger guys forging their career and do a lot of development work with them and some have commented that when we’re in meetings I always have a plan or the right words and they get frustrated they can’t do it the same.
I always explain the same - I am no better or worse, BUT I’ve fked it up so many times I know how not to fk it up. I’ve just failed more, over and over. That’s it. That’s all experience is.

What absolutely horrifies me is how so many young folks now think they have the solutions to the worlds problems and what’s different now is certain activists play into that. It’s dangerous .

in any political cause or ideological discussion, always view the side who are most interested in converting young people with suspicion. As a middle aged man, you know that people below say 23 have no interest for you as they’re idiots in terms of how they view the world. The only reason you’d engage them seriously is to get them to something for you.