Hi guys! I’m back after 22 years!

[JBagz]

Can’t remember what my old profile name was but I was a 20-year-old dude the last time I was on so Suave, now Im soon to be 42. Between 16 and 25 I had a great time and played the field quite well, with a lot of advice I got on here actually. But got married at 25 to my dream girl she was a hot 25-year old Latina, who had a little over a year before she lost her student visa. So with urgency we got married a year after dating and have been for almost 17 years.

After 11 years of traveling for work together, we had our first child, then 17 months later our second child. Ever since having our first child, she turned into a different human being, 6 years later hasn’t lost the baby weight, doesn’t wear makeup anymore and has aged dramatically. And we probably have sex five times a year.

She wakes up at the last minute every day, rushing around and leaving a goddamn mess for me. Her days off fall during the work week when the kids are in school and daycare so she has plenty of opportunity to cook, clean and take care of things. Instead, she goes to aerobics classes at her gym for three hours. Then she comes home ravenously hungry, eating, ice cream, Cheetos, etc. and negates everything she just did at the gym, and by that time she is too tired to lift a finger around the house.

I have the weekends off for my job and I have the kids 24-7 Saturdays and Sundays while I’m trying to keep up with all the housework she never did when she had plenty of time alone to do it. It’s a stressful, living hell and I can’t even enjoy time off with my kids.

Anytime I argue about it she claims that she needs to go down to part-time hours, losing around 20k a year.
Just the other day, I was mocking her for being lazy, and she threatened that she should divorce me. Not the first time, she threatened it about a year ago as well. So I would call that a warning sign.

Anyway I have a high paying job, rental income, and am working on starting my own business in a couple years. I have a freakishly nice, vascular physique like American psycho “not to brag “. And I look eight years younger than my age and always get attention from the lady’s. We own a rental property 10 minutes away that I could move her and the kids into, so I can still be close and involved. But I’m realizing that I’m not getting any younger and I don’t want to waste my good years, when I have such potential. My biggest priority is my children who are my world, but I can’t stand being anywhere near her.

but if anyone with similar experience wants to chime in feel free, I appreciate the feedback. And it feels good to be back after such a long time. I feel a lot of optimism for the future, and I’m ready to live my life again. Thanks brothers!

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Oh boy, my cousin is about to do this exact thing. What is the need for her to work? More importantly what work does she do?

I'm just curious what constitutes sex for other couples... or 'having sex'. I literally wake up, grab my wife, take her pants down, fill er up and roll back to sleep. Doesn't take much longer than 10 minutes.

I almost made the mistake of marrying a Latin princess, twice. I feel like I dodged a silver bullet now. That ravenous appetite bs started for me too right after I brought one home. It's a latina thing, as soon as they get comfortable, they balloon up and become hyper bitchy. God I'm so happy I didn't end up with a latina, sorry.

I was wondering if that was just me but it sounds like a lot of guys have this issue with those down south broads.

 

[JBagz]

Oh boy, my cousin is about to do this exact thing. What is the need for her to work? More importantly what work does she do?

I'm just curious what constitutes sex for other couples... or 'having sex'. I literally wake up, grab my wife, take her pants down, fill er up and roll back to sleep. Doesn't take much longer than 10 minutes.

I almost made the mistake of marrying a Latin princess, twice. I feel like I dodged a silver bullet now. That ravenous appetite bs started for me too right after I brought one home. It's a latina thing, as soon as they get comfortable, they balloon up and become hyper bitchy. God I'm so happy I didn't end up with a latina, sorry.

I was wondering if that was just me but it sounds like a lot of guys have this issue with those down south broads.

She’s in high end sales and she actually likes working, I’ll give her that. I make decent money but not rich, we’re frugal and try to sock away and invest money. But true about a lot of married latinas, she has friends that are the same. But they’re so hot when they’re young and in shape, love the traditional attitude towards men and family too.

 

[JBagz]

Welcome back, brotha!

I don’t have any thoughts since I’ve never been married or had kids, but appreciate you sharing your experience

Thanks been awhile, hope you can learn from my situation

 

[JBagz]

We argue about it constantly, she rolls her eyes and pretends like I’m over reacting. She tries to turn the conversation around on me, but I call her bull**** out every time and she freaks out because it doesn’t work on me.
She works mainly because she enjoys working, after being on paternity she had to get out of the house. But I was in an apprenticeship for the last two years and just started making good money a few months ago. And of course she’s unable to think long term so she didn’t understand how apprenticeships work and it being temporary and future earnings.

But another reason she works is because I refuse to pay for all the Amazon boxes delivered almost daily. And 3/4 of the garage, our bedroom, and spare bedrooms are full of plastic totes of shoes and clothes and makeup, you can’t walk 2 feet without tripping over one. I refuse to pay for any of her useless crap.

 

[MatureDJ]

Congratulations on ascending, even if it turned sour. I guess your situation is like Rollo Tomassi saying that you always need to play game, even when you're married. I would say just fool around on her, and when she finds out, just let her divorce you.

 

[MatureDJ]

But another reason she works is because I refuse to pay for all the Amazon boxes delivered almost daily. And 3/4 of the garage, our bedroom, and spare bedrooms are full of plastic totes of shoes and clothes and makeup, you can’t walk 2 feet without tripping over one. I refuse to pay for any of her useless crap.

Is it as bad as this?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Hmmmmm. Welcome back. Not an easy situation. How old are your children now? High school & college age?

What does a 50/50 asset split look like (that’s likely what you are looking at)?

What trade are you in?

 

[JBagz]

Congratulations on ascending, even if it turned sour. I guess your situation is like Rollo Tomassi saying that you always need to play game, even when you're married. I would say just fool around on her, and when she finds out, just let her divorce you.

Funny enough I actually just finished reading his rationale male book, and it gave me a lot of motivation. But yeah I’ve been running game at the gym, and out at parks and stores for practice. But I was thinking the exact strategy. Thanks

 

[JBagz]

Is it as bad as this?

[/QUOTE
Hahaha not that bad yet, but we never have people over because of it. And she thinks someday she’ll be able to fit in her old clothes, but makes no effort to change her diet.

 

[Ricky]

Can relate to most of this post.

its good she wants to work. Its bad she wants to spend which is very common among women to the level that few guys know a fiscally responsible woman much less a frugal one

 

[TheGrindEqualsHappiness]

Hire a maid to do the house-chores and split the bill with your wife. No reason to be pissed and let it ruin your frame while you are planning yor next move.

While this solves at least partially the immediate short term stress-issue, there are bigger concerns to figure out.

Next you'll have to decide how salvageable you see the relationship and how much you value childhood of your kids.

If your goal is financial independence I guarantee that $hitty relationship with looming divorce is something that you need to get over with asap one way or another. Divorce is expensive $hit and building wealth for your soon to be ex really $ucks donkey balls.

 

[JBagz]

Advice from the old lady:

Hmmmmm. Welcome back. Not an easy situation. How old are your children now? High school & college age?

What does a 50/50 asset split look like (that’s likely what you are looking at)?

What trade are you in?

The kids are four and six. At this point, I don’t care about the assets, I can rebuild in a few years just want my freedom. Can’t stand being around her anymore. I’d rather not get specific about my field because with all the other information I gave I don’t want to dox myself, I don’t like sharing things online, that’s why I never had any social media.

 

[JBagz]

Hire a maid to do the house-chores and split the bill with your wife. No reason to be pissed and let it ruin your frame while you are planning yor next move.

While this solves at least partially the immediate short term stress-issue, there are bigger concerns to figure out.

Next you'll have to decide how salvageable you see the relationship and how much you value childhood of your kids.

If your goal is financial independence I guarantee that $hitty relationship with looming divorce is something that you need to get over with asap one way or another. Divorce is expensive $hit and building wealth for your soon to be ex really $ucks donkey balls.

It wouldn’t be fair to the maid with all the clutter and **** everywhere, like polishing a turd. There’s just too much **** and I’m not paying for a storage unit.

i’m not planning on abandoning my children, I would most likely have them on the weekends like I do right now anyway, with our work schedules. And we would most likely be living about 10 minutes apart.

We have quite a bit of equity built up, I would most likely find a multi unit to eventually move into to offset my living expense. The property she would move into was purchased after the downturn, has a low monthly payment, and will be paid off in the next 10 years. I want a good living situation for her and the kids.

 

[Anom]

She wakes up at the last minute every day, rushing around and leaving a goddamn mess for me.

I know exactly what you mean. And when I confront her on it, there's always some half-baked excuse to go with it. Only difference is mine is half-asian, not latina.

Just the other day, I was mocking her for being lazy, and she threatened that she should divorce me. Not the first time, she threatened it about a year ago as well. So I would call that a warning sign.

Dealt with the same thing in my teen years, and once with another girl after that. The first girl I was with back then would keep making these facetious remarks about "if X doesn't work, I'm leaving you." "if Y doesn't happen, I'm out." It was always in that tone of voice where you couldn't tell she was joking. This was around 2006, so she was close to being one of those emo chicks.

I’d rather not get specific about my field because with all the other information I gave I don’t want to dox myself, I don’t like sharing things online, that’s why I never had any social media.

I don't think mentioning what you do will somehow reveal your exact Google Earth coordinates, but I respect your choice either way. Does your work involve a lot of travelling? Both me and my lady are teachers, and I am a game designer as well. I want to start a business just like you, but the travelling I'll have to do puts a massive dent in that. (we have a chance to take a teaching position in the UK but haven't fully decided on that yet). May I ask what kind of business you want to create?

But another reason she works is because I refuse to pay for all the Amazon boxes delivered almost daily. And 3/4 of the garage, our bedroom, and spare bedrooms are full of plastic totes of shoes and clothes and makeup, you can’t walk 2 feet without tripping over one. I refuse to pay for any of her useless crap.

Very good move.

Edit: Sorry about the goofy post I made earlier. I deleted that since I put that in the wrong thread.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Can’t remember what my old profile name was but I was a 20-year-old dude the last time I was on so Suave, now Im soon to be 42. Between 16 and 25 I had a great time and played the field quite well, with a lot of advice I got on here actually. But got married at 25 to my dream girl she was a hot 25-year old Latina, who had a little over a year before she lost her student visa. So with urgency we got married a year after dating and have been for almost 17 years.

After 11 years of traveling for work together, we had our first child, then 17 months later our second child. Ever since having our first child, she turned into a different human being, 6 years later hasn’t lost the baby weight, doesn’t wear makeup anymore and has aged dramatically. And we probably have sex five times a year.

She wakes up at the last minute every day, rushing around and leaving a goddamn mess for me. Her days off fall during the work week when the kids are in school and daycare so she has plenty of opportunity to cook, clean and take care of things. Instead, she goes to aerobics classes at her gym for three hours. Then she comes home ravenously hungry, eating, ice cream, Cheetos, etc. and negates everything she just did at the gym, and by that time she is too tired to lift a finger around the house.

I have the weekends off for my job and I have the kids 24-7 Saturdays and Sundays while I’m trying to keep up with all the housework she never did when she had plenty of time alone to do it. It’s a stressful, living hell and I can’t even enjoy time off with my kids.

Anytime I argue about it she claims that she needs to go down to part-time hours, losing around 20k a year.
Just the other day, I was mocking her for being lazy, and she threatened that she should divorce me. Not the first time, she threatened it about a year ago as well. So I would call that a warning sign.

Anyway I have a high paying job, rental income, and am working on starting my own business in a couple years. I have a freakishly nice, vascular physique like American psycho “not to brag “. And I look eight years younger than my age and always get attention from the lady’s. We own a rental property 10 minutes away that I could move her and the kids into, so I can still be close and involved. But I’m realizing that I’m not getting any younger and I don’t want to waste my good years, when I have such potential. My biggest priority is my children who are my world, but I can’t stand being anywhere near her.

but if anyone with similar experience wants to chime in feel free, I appreciate the feedback. And it feels good to be back after such a long time. I feel a lot of optimism for the future, and I’m ready to live my life again. Thanks brothers!

1.) Get a lawyer and clear your legal Situation, meaning what will a divorce cost you.
2.) Meanwhile, try dread game on her as last Resort to rescue your marriage
3.) Bring as much Money aside as you can and set yourself up to be able to walk away at any point
4.) Be aware that your kids are still young and can be manipulated easy against you by their mother. Depending on your local laws, your wife can fvck up your relationship to your kids.
5.) If she brings up divorce the next time and you have gone through points 1-4 and are still good to go, agree and see how she reacts. She will likely back down hard and leave you in a position of power, ready to be exploited.

 

[TheGrindEqualsHappiness]

4.) Be aware that your kids are still young and can be manipulated easy against you by their mother. Depending on your local laws, your wife can fvck up your relationship to your kids.

Good list and I see this bullet as the most difficult one.
Successful divorce means that OP and his wife would still be "friends" to keep a whole thing minimally traumatic to the kids and to be able to keep them in his life

Worst case scenario is that his kids end up in these kind of posts on this forum:
-"f-closed this bipolar nutcase chick with daddy issues, what to do now?"
and
"My GF BJ:d whole basketball-team at once, but I forgave her because she's the love of life. How to get her back?"

This damage control is where he should really use the game to its fullest.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Sounds like she got too comfortable. Set boundaries, expectations, and soft/indirect ultimatums. After such a long relationship I would expect a pretty open, direct, and transparent line of communication so use that to speak your grievances.

Worst case scenario, and the most likely if we are being honest, divorce will not go in your favor so hopefully you learned back then how to protect your assets within a marriage. If not, start talking to a lawyer to get ahead of the curve.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Damn OP. You're living my nightmare, hence why I (smartly) never married.

But, the solution is clear:

If you say you cannot stand even being around her anymore, she's overweight, "threatens" you with divorce, etc. etc. then you need to take ACTION rather than just treading water.

The first thing you need to do is make an appointment with a divorce lawyer. Come prepared will all financial information--everything. Get the 100% full picture of what would likely happen if you filed for divorce financially and custody-wise. Get 100% CLEAR. Then, I would weigh your options. You know this won't just get better on its own and she will not change her habits and behavior. There is HUGE incentive and payouts for women to file for divorce today hence her threats. If you want your unabated freedom, which no one can put a price on, you may have to take the financial hit just to get out of a bad situation.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

OP, This is a tough situation, especially for the kids (at that age), it always affects them in adverse ways. Hard to weigh out your children's best interest and your own state of happiness, hope you make the best decisions.

That said, this list that TIS posted is pretty solid, but should come with some warnings.

1.) Get a lawyer and clear your legal Situation, meaning what will a divorce cost you.
2.) Meanwhile, try dread game on her as last Resort to rescue your marriage
3.) Bring as much Money aside as you can and set yourself up to be able to walk away at any point
4.) Be aware that your kids are still young and can be manipulated easy against you by their mother. Depending on your local laws, your wife can fvck up your relationship to your kids.
5.) If she brings up divorce the next time and you have gone through points 1-4 and are still good to go, agree and see how she reacts. She will likely back down hard and leave you in a position of power, ready to be exploited.

I went thru a brutal divorce & vicious coparenting situation for many years, so I'll just share from my experience. 1,3, & especially 4 stand out to me.

1-Lawyers can be the biggest $$$ suck in the whole equations, be careful in choosing and the amount of use. Best to learn about the legal process and be able to file things yourself, as I had to do when the $$ ran out after the 2nd court case, I had 6 divorce court dates.

3-Get a safe, put it in a secure location, and store away as much undocumented cash money as you can. Thinking you can rebound from a divorce quickly is naive to say the least, they're gonna take half of everything, then you'll have to pay alimony & child support. You're going to need it.

4-Parental alienation (this is a big one), you know your partner better than anyone here, is she the type that will hold that grudge for many years?, will she use those kids as a weapon against you? Try to relocate far away to put distance between and your kids? Will her overall hatred bleed into an environment that fosters contempt for you from your own children? Keep in mind that parental alienation sometimes leads to complete estrangement from your kids.

Sorry to be so gloom & doom about things but I've been thru it, and my situation was a worst case scenario. I suffered for many years and was left with a life that was not what I envisioned at this stage in my life.

If you can salvage your relationship thru psychology, counseling or dread game, by all means, but if it's at the point of no return, be strong, cause it's a tough road thru the divorce court system.