Would you disown your daughter if she set her profile picture to being surrounded by guys?

NealIRC

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Your daughter sets her profile pic to being surrounded by guys, left and right of her, and she could be dressed sluttily.
 

Dr.Suave

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If she´s already dressing slutty and posting those pics its already too little too late.
 

RangerMIke

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No. Because if my daughters were doing this I would consider this my fault.

My girls are dean's list students in college on scholarships, they are athletes and would never do anything stupid that would embarrass the family. This sh1t didn't just fvcking happen, when they were little I spent most of my free time with them, spent time with them doing homework. They were my priority. This isn't a guarantee that everything will turn out okay, but you very seldom see women that are normal and sane that have serious daddy issues and engaging in slutty behavior seeking male attention.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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On next weeks show: What would you do if monkeys flew out of your arse?

You guys really need to stop with the retarded questions. The level of idiotic crap people are posting recently or asking questions about is off the hook.

If you’re going to post inane hypothetical questions like this at least have the common courtesy to put them in anything else. Jesus
 

NealIRC

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No. Because if my daughters were doing this I would consider this my fault.

My girls are dean's list students in college on scholarships, they are athletes and would never do anything stupid that would embarrass the family.
Your descendants are dean's list people? Well - the equivalent is if she set her profile pic to other honor roll students.

Can be profile picing to all the PhD students in her group. Doesn't have to be thug guys.
 

BeExcellent

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Got it @NealIRC . The post by @Money & Muscle is exactly how I feel with two beautiful teen daughters. Your daughter is your child, you love them regardless but as a parent you guide them. Both my daughters dress modestly and somewhat androgynously. Neither feels the need to wear short skirts or bust revealing tops or dresses, in fact they rarely wear dresses at all. And they both got my bust, poor dears. I am grateful they are modest, but it is a reflection too of how they were raised.

I’m not crazy myself about Doc Martins over heels, but they are artsy and eclectic and it’s fine.

My older daughter is extremely beautiful. She is a tall willow at 5’10” and could easily model. But she doesn’t like all the looks based attention she gets & she cut off her shampoo commercial gorgeous hair to reduce unwanted attention. She prefers to wear her locks short and is over it as far as looks go. She also has a LTR since 16, so she is happy in her relationship and dislikes the fuss over her looks.

There are pros and cons to being very pretty. My daughters don’t like and don’t engage in behaviors seeking male attention & they see girls who do as floozies.

So OP you’d love your daughter just the same if she went Miley Cyrus on you, but you’d also have to wonder where your own parenting went wrong because your children are a reflection on you as a parent too.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Your daughter sets her profile pic to being surrounded by guys, left and right of her, and she could be dressed sluttily.
How do you come up with these retarded questions? Another one of your talents?
 

NealIRC

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I remember going to an abandoned factory, where I saw an old office picture of a woman at her desk surrounded by guy employees. And there was graffiti pointing to her that said "the hoe of the company." It's weird that whenever a girl has a pic of her surrounded by guys, even non-sexual, that people will interpret it that way.
 

RangerMIke

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Your descendants are dean's list people? Well - the equivalent is if she set her profile pic to other honor roll students.

Can be profile picing to all the PhD students in her group. Doesn't have to be thug guys.
Dean's list... not likely. I was the first person on either side on my family to graduate from college, my brothers were the 2nd and 3rd, and NONE of us were Dean's list material. We all did okay, but none of us had GPAs to brag about.

I actually had to take time and actually look at my daughter's profile pictures, since I didn't notice them. One is her in her track gear holding a turtle (sort of funny - I'm sure it was some kind of commentary on her speed)... not sure when that was taken but based on what she was wearing it was in college and recent. The other is a photo of her in cap and gown after her HS graduation.
 

NealIRC

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I remember going to an abandoned factory, where I saw an old office picture of a woman at her desk surrounded by guy employees. And there was graffiti pointing to her that said "the hoe of the company." It's weird that whenever a girl has a pic of her surrounded by guys, even non-sexual, that people will interpret it that way.
I'll use this photo as an example..


Remembering the explosion. There are 2 women here, but nobody interprets this as being a hoe.

But yet, why is it if such a group of people has only 1 women in it, and she's at/near the center, people view that as a slut-shaming? If a girl was tagged in this photo or she set it as her profile pic...
 

BeExcellent

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My mom after graduating law school took a job in the federal government with OEO (now the NSA). It required business travel and was a male dominated field in the 1960s. She was very proud of a photo of her with her department colleagues around a large conference table. She was the sole woman. To her this meant she had the same qualifications as the men in suits (roughly 14 or so) that she worked with. She was proud of that photo as she saw it as being just as smart as the men.

My father felt it gave the wrong impression of her. He felt like many of you do. It’s sexist certainly. But my dad insisted she give up that job, and be a full time wife & mother if she was going to be his spouse.

Thusly my mother insisted myself and my sisters all get a college education and be self sufficient because she had contempt for my father having squelched her ambitions and intellectual ability. But his point was he didn’t want his wife/my mother perceived as a tart, and he was immovable in that.
 

NealIRC

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My mom after graduating law school took a job in the federal government with OEO (now the NSA). It required business travel and was a male dominated field in the 1960s. She was very proud of a photo of her with her department colleagues around a large conference table. She was the sole woman. To her this meant she had the same qualifications as the men in suits (roughly 14 or so) that she worked with. She was proud of that photo as she saw it as being just as smart as the men.

My father felt it gave the wrong impression of her. He felt like many of you do. It’s sexist certainly. But my dad insisted she give up that job, and be a full time wife & mother if she was going to be his spouse.

Thusly my mother insisted myself and my sisters all get a college education and be self sufficient because she had contempt for my father having squelched her ambitions and intellectual ability. But his point was he didn’t want his wife/my mother perceived as a tart, and he was immovable in that.
I also support the idea of giving women big salaries than men. I have some distant relatives in my family where the wife makes a lot more than the husband. And their relationships still work out fine. Insecure men are a fall-back on society...
 

BeExcellent

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Honestly I don’t think gender should matter in compensation. Compensation should be rooted in ability, period. Irrespective of gender (or race or anything else frankly).
 

BeExcellent

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From his perspective - this is the only part that matters.

Reputation matters a lot for men. At the time I imagine this to have happened, I fully believe that other men your father worked with would be making those kinds of comments to him day in and day out. I wouldn't put up with it either.
But it had nothing to do with your mother, and she is the one who unfortunately held the cards for his reputation.

Will Smith was a lot cooler before his wife fvcked some dude half his age, then that same dude released an entire R&B album detailing what they did, and Will stayed married anyways. He only had to leave to save his reputation.
Yes I agree. Reputation was very important to my father (to my mother and my whole family honestly), and my mother understood that even though she resented it.

I recall my grandmother (my father’s mother) once sitting me down as an adolescent after I said a curse word, and explaining to me how my actions and behavior reflect on myself and on my family and that the only thing more important for a person than a great reputation is great health and to behave accordingly.

I internalized that value and can remember that conversation in great detail.

This frankly is lacking in many families today, both the leadership my father exhibited and the care around reputation that my family emphasized.
 

Manure Spherian

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No I'm incel. And I'm not a slut-shamer.

Manure Spherian has a daughter and he's a slut-shamer. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ere-be-less-slut-shamers-in-the-world.279057/
I am surprised my posts in that thread made such an impression on you that you recall it now, four months later, and considering that I have not been posting lately and don't intend on posting frequently from here on. I've only been browsing lately here and there. If I recall correctly I have been a poster here for less than a year and recently realized that perhaps at this stage of my life and considering my life aims, family and child-raising aims included, this forum doesn't suit me much and isn't what I thought it would be upon joining. Much of my views, conclusions, and observation also clash with others and I don't wish to engage in online insult matches or start e-beef with people unnecessarily.

Anyway, moving on.
Slut-shaming is also for Republicans, so.
If I recall correctly, you have some link with slut-shaming--the useful and justified "double standard" that feminists of both sexes make such a fuss over--and American republicanism, conservatism, and religion. I myself am not religious or a republican or a conservative and sexual regulation was in practice across the whole world for thousands of years considering in the past people were smarter and more astute than they are today and didn't want third parties, actually society at large, cleaning up other people's messes.

I come at this from a secular, practical stance and because I don't want an embarrassment of a family, and to have a close, enduring family that hopefully lasts after I am gone, something that isn't the feature of sluts who start slutting it up as young as pre-teen ages.

Considering the period and location in which I grew up, the latchkey-kid, Gen X era, I am well aware of how all the bull**** starts and the tell-tale signs of licentious girls and future alpha widows. And now that I am older in middle age, I see all the social pathologies and divorces (something with serious ramifications, particularly on children) that resulted. That's not to mention the stupid, coercive, and dangerous positions such girls as young as fourteen find themselves in when outnumbered by boys in some social situations, such as being coerced to service high and drunk boys in unsupervised homes of air headed negligent parents (and yes, I have other stories). Being a young slut isn't just a matter of having fun in the sack, contrary to what many believe; in many cases there are serious ramifications. I'll wait for someone to give me a justifiable reason why I shouldn't be on the look out for future harm to my daughter.

being surrounded by guys
Nearly all but one woman I know, most of them very pretty, who were constantly socializing with boys at young ages and onwards, are all divorced, including a drop-dead gorgeous alpha widow who was once married to a professional baseball player. And I don't mean normal amounts of socializing with both sexes that occurs in people's youth.

Which brings me to this.

A woman should not be entertaining attention from that many men. A picture does not do a justice to whether that woman wants those men around or not, but the impression stays the same.

Mothers of yesteryear used to teach their daughters not to accept drinks from men they did not plan to date. This extended to not going on dates with men they did not want to sleep with.
Spot on. And thanks for the tag

And like you, I have two children, one of them a daughter, who are headed to be very attractive adults. And no, I don't just say that, because if they were ordinary looking, I would recognize that, and think or say, "my children are ordinary". So I will know that a haggle of men constantly in her presence wouldn't be hanging around to be friends or play checkers with her. In fact, considering I have heightened social acuity, I will be able to quickly assess a suitor who shows up at my home, upon sight, or in 30 to 60 minutes of talking.

You are right in that sexual regulation/slut shaming works most effectively when an entire community enforces it, not a lone father trying to guide his daughter in the current, free-wheeling era. But I think most anti-social behavior is avoided by having intact homes, high-investment parenting, and sexual education. And when I say sexual education, I don't mean just informing a young female how sex is done or that it results in procreation. I mean the whole gamut, which includes the psychology of men (intense lust) and the psychology of women (intense attention whoring) and how these two managed properly can result in both good things and some very bad things (example above).

I do not know if I would love my daughter if she became licentious. I have developed such a disgust for family failure and social pathology from where and when I grew up, including the stories I've heard about while working in healthcare, that the thought of raising a family of losers is something I might not live well with. And it goes for everything across the board, not just a daughter's sexual conduct. I think I have it in me to disassociate anyone who brings disgrace upon us. Unsurprisingly, the communities I grew up around in one of the most diverse areas on this earth who share my attitude usually have great results with their families: fecundity, earning power, familial closeness, few angry and frustrated incels, and so on.

Because if my daughters were doing this I would consider this my fault.
Amen. ^ Same here.

I'm sure from this post people can see why I expressed that perhaps I'm not a good fit here and why I choose not to post much. Again, I'm just surprised @NealIRC rehashed my post from four months ago considering I don't post much and never interacted with him much.

I just want to say that I particularly appreciate the input of @BeExcellent and @Money & Muscle.
 

NealIRC

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Even though this thread is about profile pics, I'll slippery slope with others.

I see all the social pathologies and divorces (something with serious ramifications, particularly on children) that resulted. That's not to mention the stupid, coercive, and dangerous positions such girls as young as fourteen find themselves in when outnumbered by boys in some social situations, such as being coerced to service high and drunk boys in unsupervised homes of air headed negligent parents (and yes, I have other stories).
Well it depends. Is a daughter being a slut, to Tyrones and Joses, or is she being a slut to PhD grad students? My variable isn't who, but math. Just as female police officers that have kicked it with multiple guy police officers, or college professors.
 
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