I need opinions...

alvinkels

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I have known a girl for about 5 years now we hardly talk though sometimes a whole we have not spoken mostly because I change my numbers every often. I had noticed she putting in efforts. After a while of no communication when I reach out with my new number she calls from time to time to check up on me. I barely do same. She is just a high school graduate and having troubles continuing her education and also securing a stable job. I have intentions of helping because she has been a good girl and never caused troubles like the others; I am the one who has been playing hard to get on her. We haven't done the deed yet; I bare take her seriously.

Recently I have moved close to campus for postgrad and she also lives nearby. About a week ago I went to the next state to pick up something from someone so I asked what I should get her on my way back and as expected she said she had nothing in; baiting me to come up a gift idea. I have returned from the trip and I had told her I am back and that she should come for the item. She has neither come or reached out to me as to why she has not been able to come.

I consider this disrespectful and I have intended to tell her that I have given it out when she finally reaches out even though I haven't ( keeping it for someone more serious and excited). This girl doesn't know that much in terms of how well I am doing well in life so I wanted an excuse to bring her over to place to see who actually I am ( my place is very endearing). I just want to keep her as a plate I already got a serious LTR just wanted some side actions. Other side of me want me to keep my word and give it to whenever she decided to come and just to keep up with game and do the deed but I still feel disrespected. Because it is literally 10-15 mins drive from my place. If for some reason you couldn't come just call to say something and send text but she is just "unconcerned" and not saying anything.

So for long term respect and dignity what would suggest I do. Don't give the her gift and give her the excuse of giving it out so as to teach her to take me serious or just give it to her and forget her completely ( never answer or return her calls or messages - ghosting) just keep her mind wondering but I wonder if she will care that much if she didn't care to come the thing and it's past 7 days?!
 

Plinco

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First I will assume that English is not your first language.

Honesty and respect forms the basis of all relationships. It sounds like you're playing games with her and she's not that interested in you. These situations are never worth any trouble. Just tell her that you have something for her if she wants it, but it sounds like doesn't want anything from you. What is this gift anyway?
 

alvinkels

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First I will assume that English is not your first language.

Honesty and respect forms the basis of all relationships. It sounds like you're playing games with her and she's not that interested in you. These situations are never worth any trouble. Just tell her that you have something for her if she wants it, but it sounds like doesn't want anything from you. What is this gift anyway?
Just a dress I bought... and also as I said I had already told her I am back from trip and when is ready to come pick it up she should let me know and I haven't heard anything since.
 

Plinco

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Did you tell her what it is or is it a surprise? Are you trying to impress her?
 

alvinkels

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Did you tell her what it is or is it a surprise? Are you trying to impress her?
Didn't tell her what it was and I was not trying to impress her. I was going to a different and was hey what can I get you?
 

typical

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So you're trying to show off that you're rich and that she should be chasing you like a little puppy ???

Mate she only keeps in contact with you because you've offered her help in her career and education ..... thats it !!!

And who buys a dress as a gift for a platonic relationship without being asked and then gets butthurt when the other person shows ZERO interest in said gift ?

Also if you've built this relationship on the basis of helping her out with her education and career but in reality all you're after is getting laid, then the minute you reveal your true intentions she will lose all interest in you.

Be a man and help the struggling kids out of highschool if you've got a passion for teaching and helping people. Also be a man and ask the beautiful girl out without hiding your true intentions.

Hiding behind the guise of helping her for school is a prick thing to do !!!
 

alvinkels

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So you're trying to show off that you're rich and that she should be chasing you like a little puppy ???

Mate she only keeps in contact with you because you've offered her help in her career and education ..... thats it !!!

And who buys a dress as a gift for a platonic relationship without being asked and then gets butthurt when the other person shows ZERO interest in said gift ?

Also if you've built this relationship on the basis of helping her out with her education and career but in reality all you're after is getting laid, then the minute you reveal your true intentions she will lose all interest in you.

Be a man and help the struggling kids out of highschool if you've got a passion for teaching and helping people. Also be a man and ask the beautiful girl out without hiding your true intentions.

Hiding behind the guise of helping her for school is a prick thing to do !!!
I am not showing off... she doesn't even know my financial status and I haven't ever helped her in any way she mostly the one putting the effort. She knew me when I was doing my undergraduate studies.

Look man you got the whole story wrong. ...
During my undergraduate studies we had a thing going but I didn't take it serious it was during my postgraduate studies before I realized she is still struggling and I intended to help. She already knows I want to hit but I just haven't said or make any move. During my undergraduate studies she always wanted to come and visit me on campus but I didn't give her a chance.
I am not saying I am doing well so she should chase me I am saying that because I have leveled since when she knew me. And I am not hurt it is sad that I will put some effort for someone and she doesn't seem to care and you have got great a point a platonic relationship and I am getting her gift. I just wanted to begin something her that's all and I am gradually finding it out it is not worth it.

I wouldn't mind helping someone who is struggling but if that person doesn't value and appreciate what I have to offer then I rather keep it to myself
 
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member162951

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I just want to keep her as a plate I already got a serious LTR just wanted some side actions.
Oh brother.:oops: I can't relate to this^ but in any event, it's possible she has no desire to be just a plate and doesn't want to encourage that by accepting the gift.

Honesty and respect forms the basis of all relationships. It sounds like you're playing games with her and she's not that interested in you.
Wholeheartedly agree with this. Not to mention, you're cheating on your girlfriend man, come on.
 
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