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Do you find it effective to purposely withhold sex?

FlexpertHamilton

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Basically what I mean is, you go on 1-3 dates and go through the motions of your normal "seduction" process you have ie physical contact, flirting, bringing the girl to your place...but you purposely never go past light kissing and touching, and maybe even say it's "too early". Flip the script on them.

Does this work or do you find it backfires? I always want to try it but never have the self control.

Obviously this is more relevant for LTR/traditional woman, not really applicable to FWB types.

Relevant:
 
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Scars

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Yes, but only on women you've already slept with before.

Women control the power before sex. Men control the power after. After she has sex with you, it's her JOB to keep you. Making her wait shows her that you aren't "tempted by the flesh", and that she's going to have to do more than just open her legs for you to keep her around. (If that's what you want of course).
 

Pierce Manhammer

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I only withhold from an FWB, mainly to show my displeasure at something; I never do it overtly; they will know I don't like something, but then when I deny them access to me for a week or more, they get the picture. Women are covert communicators; they would naturally do this to assert themselves, but they will never admit it or talk about it. So when you do it, they realize consciously or subconsciously that they are being punished for something they did, and 9/10 times, it will correct the behavior, but they will never acknowledge it.
 

SW15

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Withholding sex is more of a female tactic.

For men, there are stronger tactics at all phases of interactions.
 

The Duke

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Basically what I mean is, you go on 1-3 dates and go through the motions of your normal "seduction" process you have ie physical contact, flirting, bringing the girl to your place...but you purposely never go past light kissing and touching, and maybe even say it's "too early". Flip the script on them.

Does this work or do you find it backfires? I always want to try it but never have the self control.

Obviously this is more relevant for LTR/traditional woman, not really applicable to FWB types.

Relevant:
New girls bond thru sex. You withholding will cause them to think you aren't that into them or you are bi.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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New girls bond thru sex. You withholding will cause them to think you aren't that into them or you are bi.
New ones, but not those who know you're not and normally give them whatfor in bed :) - its like orgasm denial.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Basically what I mean is, you go on 1-3 dates and go through the motions of your normal "seduction" process you have ie physical contact, flirting, bringing the girl to your place...but you purposely never go past light kissing and touching, and maybe even say it's "too early". Flip the script on them.

Does this work or do you find it backfires? I always want to try it but never have the self control.

Obviously this is more relevant for LTR/traditional woman, not really applicable to FWB types.

Relevant:
It depends on your goals. If you're just trying to get laid then it doesn't make sense to withhold. If you're seeking a LTR then sex is only part of the equation, and it can certainly save time and drama to not smash if sex is easy to get otherwise.
 

sangheilios

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@FlexpertHamilton

I can see where your logic is going with this. A lot of men today are honestly way too over eager with women to the point where this is a turn off to them. I think not being quite as fixated on sex is actually a good thing.

However, I also think the idea of withholding from sex has some serious issues. Let's say she goes over to your place and is there alone with you. In my opinion, unless a woman is completely clueless she is going there with the idea that she is open to being physical with you. Let's say there is some kissing and light touching but it doesn't progress beyond this. I believe an issue you could have is that by not escalating to sex, as would happen naturally in this set of circumstances, she might assume you actually aren't all that interested in them. It could be thoughts where she starts questioning if she is doing something wrong or if you just aren't attracted to them. You are basically creating feelings of insecurity and uncertainty in their mind, which is not a good thing. To save themselves and their ego, these women will probably cut contact with you and not be all that receptive to you if you were to reach out, even if they were originally interested.

This stuff isn't rocket science. If a woman is actually going over to your place ALONE she is already interested and wittingly putting herself into a position where a man can initiate sex with her. Guys that go around trying to play some new tactic or "game plan" by withholding are literally going out of their own way to ruin their chances lol.
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Pierce,
Why cut off your nose to spite your face?
 

BadBoy89

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If the woman is:

18-24, wait about 17 seconds
25-29, wait about 34 seconds
30-34, wait about 1 min 34 seconds
34-38, wait 30 dates
38 +. , wait until I win the lottery.

Everything depends on a woman‘s youth.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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It’s not the case, I’m not that thirsty. And for those on the roster I can make all of them orgasm almost at will. It’s that which I keep them in my grasp with.
Hi Pierce,
Why cut off your nose to spite your face?
 

Divorced w 3

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I would try it, I know a girl with like a 60 body count that kept going out with this guy like 6-7x but she was behind his back at every turn being like wtf, nonetheless I think you could definitely try and see what happens. Do understand though that this girl kept dating other guys at the same time. It came to a point where she was basically just playing this guy to get taken out.
 
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