Do not build an attachment with the wrong woman

[Baibars]

I had a lot of time think about these things lately and there is one thing men repeatedly to that is wrong.

Women can build a bond very fast with a man. Men usually don’t do that.
We date a woman, have sex and spend a few weeks, maybe 2-3 months together and it usually doesn’t affect us that much.
Thats the timeline when a break up would affect her way more.

For men it seems to affect us way more when we spend a lot of time with a particular girl and invest in her.
In the beginning you see all those red flags and you think „who cares? I will not marry her anyways“. That’s a big mistake.
The more a man spends time and invests, the more likely he’s gonna overlook all the reasons he would never make her his number 1.

„She had a foursome with three dudes? Who cares I have fun with her“ then she displays her best behavior in order to keep you, you get used to it and a year or 2 pass by. You get used to her and now she has you.

So if you don’t see a future with her don’t make her your priority or give her more time than other things.

If you do and things don’t work out, you’re fcked big time because as I said a man needs time to build these feelings.
A woman does not need much time to attach but when you’re attached the most, she’s able to walk away the most.

 

[SargeMaximus]

*Any woman.

Fixed it for you

 

[Baibars]

*Any woman.

Fixed it for you

But it happens. You can just act like it doesn’t and convince yourself that you can do anything you want without building an attachment.

 

[SargeMaximus]

But it happens. You can just act like it doesn’t and convince yourself that you can do anything you want without building an attachment.

If you sleep around enough and process your emotions after break ups I do believe you can become truly indifferent

 

[soulforge]

Good Post by OP

I'm guilty of this myself with my most recent Break-up.

It was clear to me from day one that this girl is not good long term material & I literally had no intention of being with her LTR wise.

Red flags? Yeh literally loads of them.. However who cares, she is hot, the sex is good & I don't intend to stay with her long term, so who cares about the red flags.

The problem is, even the most damaged, toxic girls, will have a few good qualities about them. They can't be 100% demonic right.

Over a period of time you begin enjoying her company a little more than what you used to do, the sex is crazy & your other plates are nowhere near as hot as this chick.

It's like getting used to driving the Buggati for a while, jumping back in the Toyota, just doesn't have that appeal anymore, so you end up spending less and less time with the other plates.

Over a period of time, you begin developing an attachment to her & deep inside you know it's fvking wrong & nothing good will come out of it.

Few months in, and now the crazy starts rearing it's ugly head, the BS starts & her chitty behaviour begins to surface.

At this point some of us will be smart enough to realise it's time to EJECT or completely pull back & some of us will be some damn deep into her, that you will hold on to her, till she ruins you, cheats on you or simply mentally causes you damage.

My strongest advice is, take those red flags seriously.. Learn to identify low quality females & learn to keep them in the sex only zone & permanently keep them there.

 

[soulforge]

If you sleep around enough and process your emotions after break ups I do believe you can become truly indifferent

Absolutely. It's about adopting a rational thinking mindset.. not allowing emotions to cloud your logical thinking.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

Good post OP! The timelines differ for each man and woman, but the overall message is spot on!

 

[Murk]

Yep, that's why you need to distance yourself/eject as soon as possible. If you're just looking to smash, smash a few times then bounce

If you want an LTR/more - then bounce as soon as those red flags reveal themself. Don't get trapped.

I'm a big proponent of never settling, never being trapped, seeking what you want and believing in yourself, your future self (if you're still self developing).

In the beginning you see all those red flags and you think „who cares? I will not marry her anyways“. That’s a big mistake.
The more a man spends time and invests, the more likely he’s gonna overlook all the reasons he would never make her his number 1.

Also going with the flow like that, is how accidental babies happen, now you're locked in with this women in some form until you or the kid/s die.

It also makes it harder to break it off, my ex was a prime example and I made many threads, I kept her around way too long, I never once thought she was the one or to marry or have kids with, it just made it harder in the end.

 

[soulforge]

Yep, that's why you need to distance yourself/eject as soon as possible. If you're just looking to smash, smash a few times then bounce

If you want an LTR/more - then bounce as soon as those red flags reveal themself. Don't get trapped.

I'm a big proponent of never settling, never being trapped, seeking what you want and believing in yourself, your future self (if you're still self developing).


Also going with the flow like that, is how accidental babies happen, now you're locked in with this women in some form until you or the kid/s die.

It also makes it harder to break it off, my ex was a prime example and I made many threads, I kept her around way too long, I never once thought she was the one or to marry or have kids with, it just made it harder in the end.

Often a point that doesn't gets mentioned.

What if she gets pregnant? My ex had serious baby rabies, if a girl is desperate enough & crazy enough, she will stop her birth control.

Not only are you tied to her for the next 18 years, you will more likely have to pay for her lifestyle, while she is getting smashed by several other dudes.

The other thing to think about is her family. It's likely her family are somewhat crazy too, which means you are connected to that family for the long haul aswell.

 

[soulforge]

But it happens. You can just act like it doesn’t and convince yourself that you can do anything you want without building an attachment.

Even the heardest heart, will find himself attached at some point in life.

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with developing an attachment to a female, just don't do it with the WRONG ONE.

Especially if there are flags that indicate a personality disorder or mental health issue.