Good first date, mediocre second date

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my english, I am from germany.

I met this girl online and after a few texts and a phone call we decided to meet.

First date: She cancelled but made a counteroffer for the following day. I said ok and picked her up at her place. We went to a restaurant to eat something and after that to a bar to get some drinks. The connection was awesome, we laughed a lot and also had deep conversations. At the bar I went for the kiss and kissed her. After walking out of the bar she grabbed my hand, we took a walk and then I drove her home. The next day she texted me and asked how I am. To some of my texts she replied a lot later or didn't replied at all, which is really weird. After a few days she agreed to the second date. I must admit that I really like her, she is my type and our connection seems to be good.

Second date: She cancelled again and made a counteroffer for the following day. Said ok, picked her up and we had some food again. She looked really tired that day and told me, she actually is very tired because of work. She didn't talk as much as on the first date but we had some nice conversations and laughed a lot. I teased her a little bit. Later we went to my place to watch a movie. Instead of watching the movie we were just on my couch talking, kissing. I tried to go further and remove her clothes but she didn't let me do it. She said it is too much for her. I knew she was tired but I tried a few times more, gave her a massage, grabbed her butt and she let me do it but stopped me, everytime I tried to go further. After a few hours she told me she is too tired and that I should bring her home. Drove her home, gave her a kiss.

Got the feeling that her interest level is not high. She is new in town, has not many friends and was looking online for people to spend time with. Not having sex with her on the second date makes me think her interest level is just lukewarm. Or maybe she just want to spent time with me without going further. I am not sure but I am used to getting sex on the first or second date.

What do you think about this situation. Maybe I am not enough of a challenge to her because I was always available and that's why she is not hot for sex? Or maybe she wasn't interested that much from the start? How should I proceed from here? Wait for her to contact me or contact her after a few days and try to set up a third date?

Would be very happy about every answer I get!

 

[SW15]

She's low interest in general. Drop her as an option and pursue other women.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Lack of sexual tension. Never go by romantic interest alone, there needs to be clear sexual interest as well.

It's almost like girls like that need AFC's to balance out the guilt from taking too much cawk.

 

[summersky]

Thank you for the replies! Any other opinions?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thank you for the replies! Any other opinions?

She just wasn't that into you. Or there was someone else she is more into/waiting to give her exclusivity.

Has happened to all of us at one point or another. It is what it is. Nothing you can do but keep expanding your pipeline and forget about this one.

 

[MtmVaott]

I tried to go further and remove her clothes but she didn't let me do it. She said it is too much for her. I knew she was tired but I tried a few times more, gave her a massage, grabbed her butt and she let me do it but stopped me, everytime I tried to go further. After a few hours she told me she is too tired and that I should bring her home. Drove her home, gave her a kiss.

Never do this again.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

My money says there is another man in the picture who she will NOT tell “No” who asked to spend time with her in the same appointment as you, so she canceled and rebooked you.

They were together very late the night before your second date. That’s why she was tired.

She cannot get sequential nights with the other dude so she clears her schedule for him.

You were a back up plan. Sorry so blunt but that’s my read.

Next!!

 

[manfrombelow]

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my english, I am from germany.

I met this girl online and after a few texts and a phone call we decided to meet.

First date: She cancelled but made a counteroffer for the following day. I said ok and picked her up at her place. We went to a restaurant to eat something and after that to a bar to get some drinks.

1. So far so good. Two venues at the same date equals multiple dates at the same time. But to me, the notion of "restaurant" on 1st date is too much. Why not some curry sausauge to go and head to the park? I mean the girl hadn't proved herself worthy of the "restaurant" level treatment prior to the 1st date, correct?

The connection was awesome, we laughed a lot and also had deep conversations.

2. Laughing is good. But were there any kinos? And "deep conversations" are BS. You don't need "deep conversations" (this stuff's way too heavy on dates), but you need to make her sexually aroused by making kinos happen.

At the bar I went for the kiss and kissed her. After walking out of the bar she grabbed my hand, we took a walk and then I drove her home.

3. Should have proceeded to fvck her the same night. She let you kiss her, which meant she's wet, which meant she's dtf.

The next day she texted me and asked how I am.

4. Chick initiating texts after 1st date is good, but...

To some of my texts she replied a lot later or didn't replied at all

5. This showed you either texted too much or too fast. She "smelled" your desperation, hence the flaking started.

which is really weird.

6. No it's not. You just don't understand female pscyhology.

After a few days she agreed to the second date. I must admit that I really like her, she is my type and our connection seems to be good.

7. Now you're sounding like a typical simp already by pedestalizing this chick.

Second date: She cancelled again and made a counteroffer for the following day.

8. Big fvcking redflag. This chick knew what she's doing. She did this on purpose to raise your attraction level. And she succeeded at it.

Said ok,

9. Should have declined right on the fvcking spot saying the date's not OK for you. But you took the bait anyway due to being too hungry and thirsty for that pvssy.

picked her up and we had some food again.

10. Free ride, free attention and free food again? Yay!!!

She looked really tired that day and told me, she actually is very tired because of work. She didn't talk as much as on the first date but we had some nice conversations and laughed a lot.

11. You bored her to death. Because you were no different than the other 100 simps waiting at her beg-and-call.

I teased her a little bit. Later we went to my place to watch a movie. Instead of watching the movie we were just on my couch talking, kissing. I tried to go further and remove her clothes but she didn't let me do it. She said it is too much for her. I knew she was tired but I tried a few times more, gave her a massage, grabbed her butt and she let me do it but stopped me, everytime I tried to go further. After a few hours she told me she is too tired and that I should bring her home.

12. A girl following you to your place is DTF, but again, for some reasons you weren't able to make her horny enough to want to svck your c0ck. This was the fvcking last straw. You couldn't make sex happen. At this point she knew she didn't ever want to see you again, free food or not.

Drove her home, gave her a kiss.

13. Should have said yeah I'm tired (of your BS too) and called her a cab or Uber, why the fvck did you have to drive her home? She didn't deserve that.

What do you think about this situation. Maybe I am not enough of a challenge to her because I was always available and that's why she is not hot for sex? How should I proceed from here? Wait for her to contact me or contact her after a few days and try to set up a third date?

14. She's not sexually or romantically interested in you. Abort ASAP by cutting her loose and start hitting on other women. Stop any further investments in her, be it your money or your time. About third date? Yes you can give her a third date only if and when she's on her knees begging in front of your doorstep and svcking your cawk from there to the date venue, but I don' think it's a likely scenario.

 

[summersky]

Thank you for the replies!

I know that this story is over and I should move on but my AFC-thoughts are still hunting me: What if she was really just too tired for sex? (She said she was super tired and that she even has a bit of headache). But why did she made out with me then? There was a lot of hugging, kissing before I tried to go further. What if she just didn't want to have sex on the second date for whatever reasons, but is into me though? Maybe she will thinking that I only wanted to have sex if I don't contact her...

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Thank you for the replies!

What if she was really just too tired for sex?

You find this out by seeing if she lets you play with her boobs, finger her, etc. while you're making out. If she wants to phuck you but is simply too tired, she will let you do this.

If you watch baseball, after a batter hits a single they will make a move for second base to see if they can make it. They'd be pussies not to.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thank you for the replies!

I know that this story is over and I should move on but my AFC-thoughts are still hunting me: What if she was really just too tired for sex? (She said she was super tired and that she even has a bit of headache). But why did she made out with me then? There was a lot of hugging, kissing before I tried to go further. What if she just didn't want to have sex on the second date for whatever reasons, but is into me though? Maybe she will thinking that I only wanted to have sex if I don't contact her...

Nice try with convincing yourself and twisting the scenario around to believe she might actually be interested so your ego doesn't have to take the blow...

We've all been there before. Just stop.

Stop trying to justify in your mind how a woman who isn't interested could still be interested.

Spend that time and effort and energy into working on getting more women out on dates. It will be far better spent and far more productive.

 

[sangheilios]

Life becomes much easier when you just assume they aren't interested if things don't seem to be lining up naturally.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Advice from the old lady:

My money says there is another man in the picture who she will NOT tell “No” who asked to spend time with her in the same appointment as you, so she canceled and rebooked you.

They were together very late the night before your second date. That’s why she was tired.

She cannot get sequential nights with the other dude so she clears her schedule for him.

You were a back up plan. Sorry so blunt but that’s my read.

Next!!

I would put good money on this too

Either that or the cancelling and re-booking is her trying too test how available you are which so far you have failed miserably

Pull back , way back

 

[pipeman84]

The connection was awesome, we laughed a lot and also had deep conversations.

Does that mean you practically figured out what she's all about, where she's coming from and where she's going in life, so to speak?

Second date: She cancelled again and made a counteroffer for the following day. Said ok, picked her up and we had some food again. She looked really tired that day and told me, she actually is very tired because of work.

We'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she's trustworthy and telling the truth.

Later we went to my place to watch a movie. Instead of watching the movie we were just on my couch talking, kissing. I tried to go further and remove her clothes but she didn't let me do it. She said it is too much for her. I knew she was tired but I tried a few times more, gave her a massage, grabbed her butt and she let me do it but stopped me, everytime I tried to go further.

You really acted like a selfish, horny jerk here, you realize that? Instead of arousing her to a level that she's almost jumping on you, you try to pressure/beg your way into the pants of a tired woman. Way to go. NOT.

Not having sex with her on the second date makes me think her interest level is just lukewarm.

Maybe she's not a hoe, didn't you figure that out during those deep conversations?

How should I proceed from here?

Slow down, be less of a horn dog and more of a challenge, a gentleman.

 

[The Duke]

Become a higher value male and so many of these problems go away. But that starts with owning up to what you can control and improving your situation.

Or do nothing and keep complaining that you don't understand and life isn't fair.

 

[CountSuavula]

Stopped reading when “she was tired”.

She was tired after screwing 5-10 other dudes from online dating and not telling you about it. After meeting you one night, she went out and dated up a storm and quickly slept around the whole town while you were slowly deciding what to do next.

Women on online dating apps will sleep with a new guy every single night if they have the right environment for it. They wreck themselves with it.

That is what online dating does to women.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Become a higher value male and so many of these problems go away. But that starts with owning up to what you can control and improving your situation.

Or do nothing and keep complaining that you don't understand and life isn't fair.

In other words, start hoarding food now OP. These broads may be getting hungry shortly.

Yes, life isn't fair but to be fair, if there wasn't a malevolent elite class deliberately spreading misery, people would probably b1tch about it less.

1950: Why does War exist? Son, Life isn't fair. Get used to it.
2023: Why does War exist? Son, we live on a Planetary Loosh Farm, it is what it is.

 

[MtmVaott]

Don't worry OP, everyone here had these kind of thoughts. With enough bad experiences you'll place more and more importance on cues that expose her interest level. If she's reluctant like this it's always a bad sign, an interested women would have made something happen. You can also tell by how she rejects your advances. If she's kind, it's absolutely ok, there might be a legit cause behind it. Usually it's not kind and then it's telling.