New Scenario With Difficult Coworker

[logicallefty]

As many know, I moved from Illinois to Florida last June, retired as cop in Illinois, and started a new job in Florida where I do cyber investigations and information security for a police department but I am not a sworn officer here. I work with a guy from Europe. He is an equal coworker to me 100%. Several people here say he is a normal person from Europe but I am having a hard time adapting to working with him. He nit picks every little thing I do. I mean, everything. I made a typo in an Email where I hit a #2 instead of a 1. He and everyone else knew it was a typo. He Emailed the group and said "You need to proof read your Emails better". Another time I forgot to put a plastic cap on the end of a cable that was going to recyling. But it was laying on my desk without a plastic cap. He said "That needs to have a cap on it". I said "Yeah I know but I am going to take it to recycling so I didn't bother with the cap". He said "its sloppy work not to put a cap on it".. He also jabs on "American Culture" and constantly makes racial remarks about Americans. Day after day after day. My boss said "just ignore him, he's a jerk and he is retiring in three years". But that is easier said than done.

I have a lot of patients with people. As a cop I never had a complaint filed on me in 12 years. I have had fudes with coworkers who became some of my best friends and still are. I have dealt with some difficult people but this guy is giving me a run for my money and pushing my calm and patients towards the cliff.

What do I do?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You can say "you're welcome" for him not having to speak either German or Russian. Embrace your right-wing side, Lefty. That's what I'd do.

edit - as Walter below said, I'd make him the outcast.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Several people here say he is a normal person from Europe but I am having a hard time adapting to working with him.

He sounds like a d1ck. Don't believe that his behaviour is normal for Europeans. Sounds to me like an unhappy person with an axe to grind.

I have dealt with some difficult people but this guy is giving me a run for my money and pushing my calm and patients towards the cliff. What do I do?

You can do two things:
Advisable:
Totally ignore him. He's a negative miser, you don't associate with negative people.
Not advisable, but could be fun:
Totally mess him up. Use the group dynamic to make him the outcast and gaslight the fvck out of him.

 

[Ricky]

As many know, I moved from Illinois to Florida last June, retired as cop in Illinois, and started a new job in Florida where I do cyber investigations and information security for a police department but I am not a sworn officer here. I work with a guy from Europe. He is an equal coworker to me 100%. Several people here say he is a normal person from Europe but I am having a hard time adapting to working with him. He nit picks every little thing I do. I mean, everything. I made a typo in an Email where I hit a #2 instead of a 1. He and everyone else knew it was a typo. He Emailed the group and said "You need to proof read your Emails better". Another time I forgot to put a plastic cap on the end of a cable that was going to recyling. But it was laying on my desk without a plastic cap. He said "That needs to have a cap on it". I said "Yeah I know but I am going to take it to recycling so I didn't bother with the cap". He said "its sloppy work not to put a cap on it".. He also jabs on "American Culture" and constantly makes racial remarks about Americans. Day after day after day. My boss said "just ignore him, he's a jerk and he is retiring in three years". But that is easier said than done.

I have a lot of patients with people. As a cop I never had a complaint filed on me in 12 years. I have had fudes with coworkers who became some of my best friends and still are. I have dealt with some difficult people but this guy is giving me a run for my money and pushing my calm and patients towards the cliff.

What do I do?

Not to mimic him but you misspelled patience…

I have had a few co-workers like this from Poland and Russia. They tend to be culturally rude at times. Sorry you are having to deal with this

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Start documenting things with dates/times along with when you have spoken to your supervisor regarding the behavior.

Racial remarks fall under a hostile work environment and they are opening themselves up for a lot of legal issues including being in violation of Labor Laws and Discrimination Laws and for lawsuits by employees being forced to work in a hostile environment.

Maybe that flies where they are from but that should not be allowed in a working environment here. Shockingly the number of companies, even big companies with HR departments, that allow it to happen is plentiful.

 

[Dr.Suave]

What do I do?

Get him laid and buy him a beer. If that doesnt work, tell him to chill the f0ck out.

 

[logicallefty]

Not to mimic him but you misspelled patience…

I have had a few co-workers like this from Poland and Russia. They tend to be culturally rude at times. Sorry you are having to deal with this

That's what I have heard. This guys isn't from either of those countries, but I have heard that this is just the way some Europeans are. I honestly haven't been around many Europeans in my life. So part of my purpose of this thread is figuring out if this is normal behavior, because I genuinely do not know. For me, I do not get any pleasure off of correcting people's mistakes or see a reason to unless it is going to have a notable business or safety impact. Especially when common sense tells you it was an innocent mistake. A typo in an Email, a misspelled word, forgetting to put a cap on something that is going to be thrown in the trash, I find NO satisfaction on digging on other people for stuff like this. But what I want to know is, is this a normal way humans treat each other in some cultures? It has never been in mine.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

That's what I have heard. This guys isn't from either of those countries, but I have heard that this is just the way some Europeans are. I honestly haven't been around many Europeans in my life. So part of my purpose of this thread is figuring out if this is normal behavior, because I genuinely do not know. For me, I do not get any pleasure off of correcting people's mistakes or see a reason to unless it is going to have a notable business or safety impact. Especially when common sense tells you it was an innocent mistake. A typo in an Email, a misspelled word, forgetting to put a cap on something that is going to be thrown in the trash, I find NO satisfaction on digging on other people for stuff like this. But what I want to know is, is this a normal way humans treat each other in some cultures? It has never been in mine.

Why does it matter? If the dude is about to retire from an American job, he's a damn American by this point. Would you act like a anti-Mexican jackass if you lived in and worked Mexico for 20 or 30 years? Would most people?

The only way to deal with this imo is to paint this guy like an outsider, as hard as feasible.

It may help to know what country this guy is from. If he's Serbian or something, that would be one thing as we bombed his country not too long ago.

 

[Ricky]

That's what I have heard. This guys isn't from either of those countries, but I have heard that this is just the way some Europeans are. I honestly haven't been around many Europeans in my life. So part of my purpose of this thread is figuring out if this is normal behavior, because I genuinely do not know. For me, I do not get any pleasure off of correcting people's mistakes or see a reason to unless it is going to have a notable business or safety impact. Especially when common sense tells you it was an innocent mistake. A typo in an Email, a misspelled word, forgetting to put a cap on something that is going to be thrown in the trash, I find NO satisfaction on digging on other people for stuff like this. But what I want to know is, is this a normal way humans treat each other in some cultures? It has never been in mine.

same. I hate being critical of people and am careful to use a qualifier before criticizing or at least lightening things with a joke

thats another things.. some people like your co-worker tend to lack a sense of humor

 

[FlirtLife]

As many know, I moved from Illinois to Florida last June, retired as cop in Illinois, and started a new job in Florida where I do cyber investigations and information security for a police department but I am not a sworn officer here. I work with a guy from Europe. He is an equal coworker to me 100%. Several people here say he is a normal person from Europe but I am having a hard time adapting to working with him. He nit picks every little thing I do. I mean, everything. I made a typo in an Email where I hit a #2 instead of a 1. He and everyone else knew it was a typo. He Emailed the group and said "You need to proof read your Emails better". Another time I forgot to put a plastic cap on the end of a cable that was going to recyling. But it was laying on my desk without a plastic cap. He said "That needs to have a cap on it". I said "Yeah I know but I am going to take it to recycling so I didn't bother with the cap". He said "its sloppy work not to put a cap on it".. He also jabs on "American Culture" and constantly makes racial remarks about Americans. Day after day after day. My boss said "just ignore him, he's a jerk and he is retiring in three years". But that is easier said than done.

I have a lot of patients with people. As a cop I never had a complaint filed on me in 12 years. I have had fudes with coworkers who became some of my best friends and still are. I have dealt with some difficult people but this guy is giving me a run for my money and pushing my calm and patients towards the cliff.

What do I do?

To make work easier, are you willing to make him feel even more superior?

Then ask him to help proofread some of the emails you send to everyone. You won't feel good about the situation - but he can't complain about an email he proofreads, can he? If you're on the fence... don't make me point out the typos in your message above. I suspect he's actually annoyed by those typos. The way your co-worker adheres strictly to every rule makes me suspect he's German.

How does the co-worker's cyber security experience compare to yours?

 

[FlirtLife]

I would taking him in a place alone and be like "Hey man, I don't like you trying to correct me when I make mistakes, or those jokes that you make, if you have a problem with me, talk to me or my boss" Those people are fvcking annoying and are the first puzzies who complain when you make fun of them.

He will be like "I'm just trying to help you, don't take it personally"

I would be like "When I need your helps, I'll ask for it"

I doubt you would bully your boss by saying "I don't like you trying to correct me when I make mistakes... When I need your helps, I'll ask for it". If you say that to a co-worker, and they later get promoted to your manager ... you're screwed.

 

[AAAgent]

I would call him out publicly like he did to you., that was my original thought but i just noticed that he is retiring in 3 years. You're not going to get him to change. He does have valid points and sticking it to him now will just cause more problems instead of getting him to stop.


You can politely in the public email let him know to bring these to your attention privately as its a bit unnecessary to ping the entire group of people. Thank him for his feedback, let him know you'll make those changes and you'll slow down a bit. If he comes back, you'll look even more like a jackass/confrontational which will likely draw others attention. You end up acknowledging him but also putting him in his place. Be the bigger man, and if he makes mistakes, bring them to his attention privately. Show him how you'd like things to be done, over and over again even if he doesn't change. If you can't win by brute force, win through actions of kindness.

Typically, I call bullies out publicly and even confront them and put them in their place but he sounds less like a bully and more like a grumpy old man. Since you can't tell him off and avoid him, you'll need to learn how to live with him.

 

[FlirtLife]

Ok be a puzzy the whole life to stand up to people then. That sounds fun

You would benefit from using a grammar checker.

 

[FlirtLife]

As many know, I moved from Illinois to Florida last June, retired as cop in Illinois, and started a new job in Florida where I do cyber investigations and information security for a police department but I am not a sworn officer here. I work with a guy from Europe. He is an equal coworker to me 100%. Several people here say he is a normal person from Europe but I am having a hard time adapting to working with him. He nit picks every little thing I do. I mean, everything. I made a typo in an Email where I hit a #2 instead of a 1. He and everyone else knew it was a typo. He Emailed the group and said "You need to proof read your Emails better". Another time I forgot to put a plastic cap on the end of a cable that was going to recyling. But it was laying on my desk without a plastic cap. He said "That needs to have a cap on it". I said "Yeah I know but I am going to take it to recycling so I didn't bother with the cap". He said "its sloppy work not to put a cap on it".. He also jabs on "American Culture" and constantly makes racial remarks about Americans. Day after day after day. My boss said "just ignore him, he's a jerk and he is retiring in three years". But that is easier said than done.

I have a lot of patients with people. As a cop I never had a complaint filed on me in 12 years. I have had fudes with coworkers who became some of my best friends and still are. I have dealt with some difficult people but this guy is giving me a run for my money and pushing my calm and patients towards the cliff.

What do I do?

SoSuave won't let me update my prior advice, but I have a better suggestion: get a grammar checker. You can use a tool on your phone or computer that will identify (or fix) mistakes. It will suggest using "email" instead of "Email", for example.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I have a lot of patients with people.

I think you meant to say "patience."

That's some pretty sloppy posting there, bro.

We here at SoSuave demand a higher level of attention to detail.

I mean, sheesh.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

That's some pretty sloppy posting there, bro.

Yes, what are you? Another uneducated American? We Europeans thumb our noses at you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Yes, what are you? Another uneducated American? We Europeans thumb our noses at you.

No, he's someone with a sense of humor. I was going to make the same joke but he beat me to it. Lefty misspelled "feuds" and I was going to tell him he needs to proofread his posts better. And he would laugh, because he has a sense of humor too.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would call him out publicly like he did to you., that was my original thought but i just noticed that he is retiring in 3 years. You're not going to get him to change. He does have valid points and sticking it to him now will just cause more problems instead of getting him to stop.


You can politely in the public email let him know to bring these to your attention privately as its a bit unnecessary to ping the entire group of people. Thank him for his feedback, let him know you'll make those changes and you'll slow down a bit. If he comes back, you'll look even more like a jackass/confrontational which will likely draw others attention. You end up acknowledging him but also putting him in his place. Be the bigger man, and if he makes mistakes, bring them to his attention privately. Show him how you'd like things to be done, over and over again even if he doesn't change. If you can't win by brute force, win through actions of kindness.

Typically, I call bullies out publicly and even confront them and put them in their place but he sounds less like a bully and more like a grumpy old man. Since you can't tell him off and avoid him, you'll need to learn how to live with him.

He also apparently is putting his company at legal risk by continuing to create a hostile work environment via his disparaging racial comments that are not only crass but also highly illegal in a workplace environment, as in company gets sued and settles for millions of dollars illegal.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No, he's someone with a sense of humor. I was going to make the same joke but he beat me to it. Lefty misspelled "feuds" and I was going to tell him he needs to proofread his posts better. And he would laugh, because he has a sense of humor too.

I was chiming in, not berating him. The 'uneducated American' remark was aimed at OP, not at @taiyuu_otoko

Different sense of humour.

I also read the myriad misspellings in OP's postings, but as a writer I'm used to editing text, so mistakes always jump out at me. Doesn't mean that his emails will also be rife with mistakes, but with his opening post OP already showed that he should use a spell and grammar check.

 

[logicallefty]

I was chiming in, not berating him. The 'uneducated American' remark was aimed at OP, not at @taiyuu_otoko

Different sense of humour.

I also read the myriad misspellings in OP's postings, but as a writer I'm used to editing text, so mistakes always jump out at me. Doesn't mean that his emails will also be rife with mistakes, but with his opening post OP already showed that he should use a spell and grammar check.

Raise your right hand.