Best Break Up Advice You Wish You Knew

CornbreadFed

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@CornbreadFed is @BackInTheGame78's alternate account. Give the guy a break, he forgot what account he was using.
He wouldn’t be crying constantly if he had focused on his girl instead of obsessing over alt accounts on an irrelevant dating forum. IMHO, I do not even think he had a girlfriend and this poor girl is just some girl that friendzoned/soft rejected him.
 

Divorced w 3

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Hello brothers,

Feeling down and would like some support and thoughts.

Some Context

Recently a main I had been nested up with in a 7 months LTR dumped me because I fooled around with another chick at a party on a drunken night. (I'm a DJ so at most times I'm at parties and that night drinks/things mixed, it got wild). Felt guilty about it, so met up with her a few days after break up and tried to talk it out. She wanted me to reconcile with her again and fix things. I didnt want to lose her, so I agreed to reconcile. But for a week, I experienced real hell. She frequently blew up and showed me the true wrath of a woman. Picked fights about everything and focused on every possible transgression from past, present to even future. Disregarded any other commitment and things I have ever done. She stopped having sex with me and eventually, she dumped me again because I told her that she had been difficult to me over the week. Her voice and demeanor changed. She didn't seem like the person I met.

The Situation

We have since gone NC. It's been 2 weeks now that I last heard from her. Besides reconciling, I have made no attempts to break NC. I do not intend to break it.

I've been focusing on myself. I've been telling myself to accept that the relationship has ended. There is nothing down that street anymore.

The Pain

However I am still in pain because:

- This is someone I really opened up to. We had a great connection. She knows so many things about me than even my best friend.
- Sex was great. Before maining her, I hooked up with so many plates in a casual life-style but nothing felt as good in terms of sexual compatibility and returns.
- She is beautiful. Your aspirational blonde fitness influencer. We had quite a public relationship. The idea that she will monkey branch to someone else just hurts. And the gossip that will generate as well as the criticism of what I've done if she **** talks just makes me feel like crap.
- We had some very special memories together. Did a lot of crazy things like getting stranded in a National Park or sneaking into a country club, skinny dipping and ****.
- I still find myself missing her and thinking about her. I realize a lot of it maybe rose tinting what happened between us because ironically I have tried to dump her a few times because she can be controlling.
- Recently I took a new girl I met to dinner at a restaurant that just opened up in the city. Saw ex's best friend dining there. I'm sure she saw me and probably reported it to my ex. The idea that my moving on will just reinforce my ex's bad perception of me sucks.
- There hasn't been any great action in terms of plates yet and the idea that it requires so much effort for me to hook up whilst it is probably easy for my ex as a girl to move on or to **** another guy also pains me.

Current Effort

I am currently trying to move on. I've realized that I've been declining and neglecting areas of my life such as fitness, my career and even social circle since being with her. I became comfortable. She was a steady supply of attention, sex and love. Over the past 2 weeks I have been working hard to re-establish these neglected things. I started exercising, made an action plan. Got some career gigs coming up. I've also started going out and meet new girls. One I fingered but didn't **** because I wasn't in the mood yet. Another, I tried to close but was rejected. I am slowly trying to piece everything together but been feeling low.

Would really appreciate some advice on dealing with this. Many of you have probably been in this painful situation and learned a lot from it, what would be the advice you would give yourself and you wish you knew?
Sir, this thread is severely misleading. I thought you were asking for help to break up, not a whining session about how your girl held you out to task because you went out on her one evening and she wasn’t cool with it. I stopped reading after you told me it’s someone you really liked.

You have to play the ball where it’s actually laying. If you really felt that way you should have been aware of whatever boundaries existed in your relationship.

If the relationship didn’t allow for your going out and messing around, you should have realized that she was going to cite the rule book and toss your butt out.

I don’t blame you for trying as you were clearly wrong but take the loss and move forward, and start living with a sense of ownership of your own actions.
 
Joined
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Hello brothers,

Feeling down and would like some support and thoughts.

Some Context

Recently a main I had been nested up with in a 7 months LTR dumped me because I fooled around with another chick at a party on a drunken night. (I'm a DJ so at most times I'm at parties and that night drinks/things mixed, it got wild). Felt guilty about it, so met up with her a few days after break up and tried to talk it out. She wanted me to reconcile with her again and fix things. I didnt want to lose her, so I agreed to reconcile. But for a week, I experienced real hell. She frequently blew up and showed me the true wrath of a woman. Picked fights about everything and focused on every possible transgression from past, present to even future. Disregarded any other commitment and things I have ever done. She stopped having sex with me and eventually, she dumped me again because I told her that she had been difficult to me over the week. Her voice and demeanor changed. She didn't seem like the person I met.

The Situation

We have since gone NC. It's been 2 weeks now that I last heard from her. Besides reconciling, I have made no attempts to break NC. I do not intend to break it.

I've been focusing on myself. I've been telling myself to accept that the relationship has ended. There is nothing down that street anymore.

The Pain

However I am still in pain because:

- This is someone I really opened up to. We had a great connection. She knows so many things about me than even my best friend.
- Sex was great. Before maining her, I hooked up with so many plates in a casual life-style but nothing felt as good in terms of sexual compatibility and returns.
- She is beautiful. Your aspirational blonde fitness influencer. We had quite a public relationship. The idea that she will monkey branch to someone else just hurts. And the gossip that will generate as well as the criticism of what I've done if she **** talks just makes me feel like crap.
- We had some very special memories together. Did a lot of crazy things like getting stranded in a National Park or sneaking into a country club, skinny dipping and ****.
- I still find myself missing her and thinking about her. I realize a lot of it maybe rose tinting what happened between us because ironically I have tried to dump her a few times because she can be controlling.
- Recently I took a new girl I met to dinner at a restaurant that just opened up in the city. Saw ex's best friend dining there. I'm sure she saw me and probably reported it to my ex. The idea that my moving on will just reinforce my ex's bad perception of me sucks.
- There hasn't been any great action in terms of plates yet and the idea that it requires so much effort for me to hook up whilst it is probably easy for my ex as a girl to move on or to **** another guy also pains me.

Current Effort

I am currently trying to move on. I've realized that I've been declining and neglecting areas of my life such as fitness, my career and even social circle since being with her. I became comfortable. She was a steady supply of attention, sex and love. Over the past 2 weeks I have been working hard to re-establish these neglected things. I started exercising, made an action plan. Got some career gigs coming up. I've also started going out and meet new girls. One I fingered but didn't **** because I wasn't in the mood yet. Another, I tried to close but was rejected. I am slowly trying to piece everything together but been feeling low.

Would really appreciate some advice on dealing with this. Many of you have probably been in this painful situation and learned a lot from it, what would be the advice you would give yourself and you wish you knew?
Don’t look back unless it’s to see what you did wrong.
 

alvinkels

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A girl broke up, I did not cheat... I was simply busy with life and we were not that in touch it looks it triggered a childhood trauma of abandonment and some guy be or an ex (whatever I don't care) came into the picture. It hurt a lot because it is not I abandoned her or ignored her, my company was going to a lot we were being sued and my supervisor was breathing down my neck and mum was ill. I explained everything to her but all she wanted was the break up. I said okay and went away. The few months was though but I have been getting bu great and the questions I keep asking myself is that how my life would have turned out if she was still around; believe when I say my life has turned out greater than expected and I have also learned a lot of things that I need to up my game. I am in NC she is usually the one who reach out sometimes for help during the early weeks. It's been months now like months.. I have lost track lol... not a year though.... that's how far I have moved on. We are human and we make mistakes it doesn't mean we are inferior so if someone won't work things out just go away you don't want to be with someone like that... save yourself a nasty divorce...

The thing is no matter what you did or didn't do just owe up to it if she doesn't want to work things let her go and respect yourself by not begging.... I have seen guy in dm of girls begging them then I ask myself WTF. This girl that's here trying to prove herself to me.. lol. If guys know what girls have been up to they would never take them serious. I think you will need a lesson to recognize that hahaha.... a girl who likes you likes you will put up with a lot... it doesn't mean she has low esteem it means she loves you. My girlfriend know I can cheat and probably have cheated and have the potential of cheating even though we are in committed a relationship... she always sees strange girls entering my dm but she doesn't have any evidence lol....
 
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