Marriage question

davidsonj73

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How long do two people typically date before they become engaged, or married?
 

SW15

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Google is your friend. There are a lot of results. This is one.

It's typically around 2-4 years before a proposal is made, based on the source of the data.

 

obelisk

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There is no proper answer to this. You're also approaching this from a very dangerous perspective. It's about validating the girl and the relationship before EVER considering marrying her. Otherwise, you are destined for putting her on a pedestal, marrying a girl with obvious disqualifying red flags and divorce and/or misery.

Filter first.
 

Learning Curve

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I firmly believe this is once you feel ready.

After you have really screened out your woman so well you know the in and outs of her then you are ready to go.

Even at that stage is hard. Because you never really know.

Argue with her, find out her insecurities, and learn everything about her.

Choosing your partner is 50% of your misery or happiness.
 

CornbreadFed

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I wouldn't say any less than a year, but if you are questioning it after 2-3 years then you need to end things.
 

obelisk

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To Cornbread and Learning Curve's points, it is probably LONGER than you think it is even with a good match. It takes time for the masks and walls to fall away and for the two of you to climb enough emotional mountains together to determine if it's a viable match.
 

CornbreadFed

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To Cornbread and Learning Curve's points, it is probably LONGER than you think it is even with a good match. It takes time for the masks and walls to fall away and for the two of you to climb enough emotional mountains together to determine if it's a viable match.
Yes and No, you are never going to go in to a marriage with 0% downside risk, but your goal in the dating stage is pick a partner with the lowest risk. How y'all climb emotional mountains together is a factor? I think the 3 main mistakes people make in choosing their SO is
1). They settle out of scarcity or laziness. This leads down to a bulk of the issues for failed marriages.
2). They keep the dating stages limited instead of doing more stuff that does expose potential pitfalls like the emotional mountain climbing you mentioned.
3). Unrealistic expectations from both parties

A lengthy dating relationship doesn't automatically ensure a successful or problem-free marriage; it simply offers more time to assess and address any issues that may arise.
 
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AmsterdamAssassin

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Evaluating any relationship takes at least 3-5 months, because most crazy women can pretend for a month or two, but most start defaulting to their usual traits after 3 months.
 

obelisk

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This is why the soulmate myth is so dangerous. Good marriages and relationships are built. They don't simply spring into being because you found "the One".
 

CornbreadFed

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This is why the soulmate myth is so dangerous. Good marriages and relationships are built. They don't simply spring into being because you found "the One".
That falls into category 3 of unrealistic expectations. These are the same women on the Apps that put my love language is words of affirmation and I am looking for a Romantic Relationship. I just troll or automatically next these women when I match with them.
 

Dr.Suave

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Your gut tells you "This is it. Time to cash out"
 
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