Your girl going to parties

[AntoniousIV]

So I had my second relationship when I was 18 with a girl I though was pretty cute. I had some experience before that, like a relationship before that. My dad showed an example of a good traits at home (leadership, neg hits). So I was fairly equipped with some decent tools to not be a simp like I was in the first relationship.

In this relationship things went amazing, I dm'd her a dumb little line I though of and she kinda just game'd me (like she was qualifying for me, was a proud "anti-feminist" and was basically speaking my language), instead of the other way around. She was just texting on and on, while I was just listening. So we eventually got on a date ofc I escalated n stuff. Couple weeks in and I learned she had stuff of her ex left over, and ofc I wanted her to throw them in the trash. She was a bit hesitant, like asking why but she burnt the letters and gave out the plushie. Things were going good, I though she had "genuine burning desire" which is basically the only standard I have in relationships besides looks.

And she had already bought a ticket (couple months prior) to a party. Ofcourse I didn't want her to go, and told her not to. She said
I already bought a ticket, just this party and you can't tell me what to do. So I wanted to "soft next" her, and just blocked her. Didn't think she wouldn't call back so then after 4 days I unblocked her and dm'd her, I couldn't take the misery. And ofc it didn't work afterwards.

How do you get a girl to not go to parties?
Should you? (yes)

 

[Dr.Suave]

Find a girl who doesnt want to go without you.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When you go to parties, get your girlfriend to mate guard you against groupies. She won't want you to go to parties alone.

 

[Scars]

If she wants to go to parties then she's not your girl.

 

[Bigpapa]

Couple weeks in and I learned she had stuff of her ex left over, and ofc I wanted her to throw them in the trash. She was a bit hesitant, like asking why but she burnt the letters and gave out the plushie. Things were going good, I though she had "genuine burning desire" which is basically the only standard I have in relationships besides looks.

And she had already bought a ticket (couple months prior) to a party. Ofcourse I didn't want her to go, and told her not to. She said
I already bought a ticket, just this party and you can't tell me what to do. So I wanted to "soft next" her, and just blocked her. Didn't think she wouldn't call back so then after 4 days I unblocked her and dm'd her, I couldn't take the misery. And ofc it didn't work afterwards.

The problem is not that she went to the party, the problem is that you lost frame and looked like a b1tch by how you behaved

Girls are all the time outside on their own ( including clubs/parties/Holliday) and nothing happens

She had a ticked bought before you guys even started dating. What did you expect, to not go with her friends to something cool and just stay at home with a guy that started becoming sentimental and insisted that she should throw her ex stuff to the garbage

In the moment you started acting like a b1tch she started losing respect little by little till you blocked her for going to a party and the unblocked her after 4 days? Wtf dude, you really expected things to be good after you behaved like how you behaved?

The name of the thread should be “ how not to act like a b1tch”

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So I had my second relationship when I was 18 with a girl I though was pretty cute. I had some experience before that, like a relationship before that. My dad showed an example of a good traits at home (leadership, neg hits). So I was fairly equipped with some decent tools to not be a simp like I was in the first relationship.

In this relationship things went amazing, I dm'd her a dumb little line I though of and she kinda just game'd me (like she was qualifying for me, was a proud "anti-feminist" and was basically speaking my language), instead of the other way around. She was just texting on and on, while I was just listening. So we eventually got on a date ofc I escalated n stuff. Couple weeks in and I learned she had stuff of her ex left over, and ofc I wanted her to throw them in the trash. She was a bit hesitant, like asking why but she burnt the letters and gave out the plushie. Things were going good, I though she had "genuine burning desire" which is basically the only standard I have in relationships besides looks.

And she had already bought a ticket (couple months prior) to a party. Ofcourse I didn't want her to go, and told her not to. She said
I already bought a ticket, just this party and you can't tell me what to do. So I wanted to "soft next" her, and just blocked her. Didn't think she wouldn't call back so then after 4 days I unblocked her and dm'd her, I couldn't take the misery. And ofc it didn't work afterwards.

How do you get a girl to not go to parties?
Should you? (yes)

This sounds so immature and dumb this has nothing to do with her going to parties this has to do with you being insecure and controlling

 

[The Duke]

Swinger parties? What kind of party do you need an advance ticket for?

 

[Macadellic]

Your girl is going to parties?

Cool no big deal because I’m going to parties myself never posting pictures of said girl on social media.

Oh you know,
I’m just living my best life.
I love to meet new people have new experiences

 

[AntoniousIV]

The problem is not that she went to the party, the problem is that you lost frame and looked like a b1tch by how you behaved

Girls are all the time outside on their own ( including clubs/parties/Holliday) and nothing happens

She had a ticked bought before you guys even started dating. What did you expect, to not go with her friends to something cool and just stay at home with a guy that started becoming sentimental and insisted that she should throw her ex stuff to the garbage

In the moment you started acting like a b1tch she started losing respect little by little till you blocked her for going to a party and the unblocked her after 4 days? Wtf dude, you really expected things to be good after you behaved like how you behaved?

The name of the thread should be “ how not to act like a b1tch”

I undestand that I was a b1tch for not letting her go. But why was I a b1tch for making her burn the things of her ex?

 

[AntoniousIV]

This sounds so immature and dumb this has nothing to do with her going to parties this has to do with you being insecure and controlling

How do I fix that

 

[AntoniousIV]

Swinger parties? What kind of party do you need an advance ticket for?

you can get one in advance or buy right before entry

 

[obelisk]

If she wants to go to parties (without you) then she's not your girl.

Game. set. match.

You're not a ***** or immature for taking this stance. This is simply her hamster brain and the feminist hive mind speaking.

If she won't toss out her ex's stuff then she still has feelings for him. He slides back into her DMs or her into his DMs in a week or a month and she is off cheating with him. Same thing with going to parties without you. This is how she cheats, listens to her degenerate friends, wants to go on trips to Miami or Vegas for a girls weekend so on and so forth.

These are ALL red flags. Ignore them at your peril. Set boundaries and be a man. Be willing to walk away.

 

[AntoniousIV]

Game. set. match.

You're not a ***** or immature for taking this stance. This is simply her hamster brain and the feminist hive mind speaking.

If she won't toss out her ex's stuff then she still has feelings for him. He slides back into her DMs or her into his DMs in a week or a month and she is off cheating with him. Same thing with going to parties without you. This is how she cheats, listens to her degenerate friends, wants to go on trips to Miami or Vegas for a girls weekend so on and so forth.

These are ALL red flags. Ignore them at your peril. Set boundaries and be a man. Be willing to walk away.

I understand your point and really relate with ur stance. But idrk what's right anymore, there's also the argument that her going the party is a $hit test, and if I let her go once I prove that I have other options if she cheats, and might not wanna go anymore.
<https://therationalmale.com/2012/08/27/girls-night-out/comment-page-2/amp/>
And sure if she goes there's a higher chance she cheats, "one thing led to another and we did it in the bathroom". But if she wants to cheat she would've cheated either way.

ofcourse this isn't to excuse her going to a party weekly, and being a full on wh0re.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Find a girl who doesnt want to go without you.

Okay, interested to hear opinions on this then:

Her gay childhood friends from growing up create a theme party to commemorate Taylor Swift’s album release from let’s say 7-11pm in the city in a nice restaurant in about 5 weeks

She invites you. Your schedule may be conflicted. She is going regardless. Not an ounce of hesitation.

 

[The Duke]

you can get one in advance or buy right before entry

We don't buy tickets for parties in America unless it's for some major event. What kind of party?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Perhaps a kinky party.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Imo OP is playing a hand he hasn’t been dealt. This was a brand new relationship, you aren’t even exclusive, if you even are and it’s so new she had tickets prior to it then you just suck it up and you pray for the best. You should know the type of personality that you’re getting serious with.

 

[Baibars]

The problem is not that she went to the party, the problem is that you lost frame and looked like a b1tch by how you behaved

Girls are all the time outside on their own ( including clubs/parties/Holliday) and nothing happens

She had a ticked bought before you guys even started dating. What did you expect, to not go with her friends to something cool and just stay at home with a guy that started becoming sentimental and insisted that she should throw her ex stuff to the garbage

In the moment you started acting like a b1tch she started losing respect little by little till you blocked her for going to a party and the unblocked her after 4 days? Wtf dude, you really expected things to be good after you behaved like how you behaved?

The name of the thread should be “ how not to act like a b1tch”

where you draw the line between being a ***** and having boundaries?
Let’s say it’s just a boundary of mine to not accept a girl that goes to parties. Why should I force myself to accept it even though it’s against my boundaries?

 

[AntoniousIV]

We don't buy tickets for parties in America unless it's for some major event. What kind of party?

A local celebrity singer was coming so you could preorder for cheaper.

 

[Baibars]

It's not that having this boundary makes you a b1tch, it's the way OP handled it.

You can have the boundary, but by throwing a hissy fit and blocking her, then unblocking her, then feeling sad because his girl left to go out to a party - he looks like a b1tch.

Better way of having this boundary:

Do you think setting such a boundary on a woman that usually goes partying makes sense or should you just pick someone that’s not partying to begin with?
That’s what I did wrong and it made me look weak too when I was dealing with girls that were different and I was enforcing my boundaries on them.
This always worked for a while when desire was high but when I got weak they didn’t want anymore. When you’re in a demanding position when they don’t even want to submit to your demands, it makes you look weak..