You have to move fast with women

[Bigpapa]

Met a girl through cold approach and we set up a date

We meet, she is very warm. I stayed more than initially planned with her so when I leave I was on a hurry and did not kiss her

I was away for like 1 week, she initiated the discussion. All good

We set up the 2nd date and ask her to come with a joint to smoke it together. I did not told her that we will smoke it at my place, just told her to bring it and we will find a place to smoke it

We stay for like 2h, I did not escalate as I did not want to scare her till she is not at my place

We leave after 2h and tell her to go smoke the joint ( not explicitly telling her that we will go to my place ) . She gives it to me and excuses that she is tired and does not feel like smoking one now. I give it back and tell her that I will not smoke it alone

We do a couple more steps and she calls for an Uber. She talks super fast for like 2-3 minutes then the Uber comes. She gives me the most passionate cheek kiss ever and tells me that she was expecting to stay till late tonight

I knew I kinda f8cked it up, but things moved fast and i just did had the time to come up with an alternative plan on the spot, as I was thinking that the joint excuse to come to my place is solid

Trying to salvage the situation I texted her that I feel bad that we did not end up smoking the joint as for sure it would have been fun. She texted back that I she finds it sweet. I tell her to think about when and she replies the next day that she thought about it and that from her point of view the dynamic is not what she expected

The idea is that girls expect you to move fast and if you do not they will be annoyed and take it as a sign of you not being into them as they are into you

Also, even though you have great time together for women still the sex part is more important than just being relaxed around you and having a good time. Basically the most important part of seduction is the escalation process ( anything else is quite far away in importance )

Any comments on what I could have done better, except for going for the kiss at the first date?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Met a girl through cold approach and we set up a date

We meet, she is very warm. I stayed more than initially planned with her so when I leave I was on a hurry and did not kiss her

I was away for like 1 week, she initiated the discussion. All good

We set up the 2nd date and ask her to come with a joint to smoke it together. I did not told her that we will smoke it at my place, just told her to bring it and we will find a place to smoke it

We stay for like 2h, I did not escalate as I did not want to scare her till she is not at my place

We leave after 2h and tell her to go smoke the joint ( not explicitly telling her that we will go to my place ) . She gives it to me and excuses that she is tired and does not feel like smoking one now. I give it back and tell her that I will not smoke it alone

We do a couple more steps and she calls for an Uber. She talks super fast for like 2-3 minutes then the Uber comes. She gives me the most passionate cheek kiss ever and tells me that she was expecting to stay till late tonight

I knew I kinda f8cked it up, but things moved fast and i just did had the time to come up with an alternative plan on the spot, as I was thinking that the joint excuse to come to my place is solid

Trying to salvage the situation I texted her that I feel bad that we did not end up smoking the joint as for sure it would have been fun. She texted back that I she finds it sweet. I tell her to think about when and she replies the next day that she thought about it and that from her point of view the dynamic is not what she expected

The idea is that girls expect you to move fast and if you do not they will be annoyed and take it as a sign of you not being into them as they are into you

Also, even though you have great time together for women still the sex part is more important than just being relaxed around you and having a good time. Basically the most important part of seduction is the escalation process ( anything else is quite far away in importance )

Any comments on what I could have done better, except for going for the kiss at the first date?

You really have no idea why she went cold, so your conclusion is based on a massive assumption. Maybe she met someone that doesn't smoke and favors guys that don't smoke. Maybe her dog died. Maybe she noticed you getting all excited about this mystery joint location and got rape vibes. Maybe she wanted you to grab her as$ on the spot and slap her. Who knows?

Every girl is different, and rather than trying to adapt to her vibe just to get laid you should be qualifying her to see if she's what you want.

If you're in the mood for a quick fling then yes it pays to move fast because the qualifications are minimal. It also pays to know how to filter for the slvts that want the same. If the vibe dies then move on and don't overthink it, sex is easy and cheap.

If you're looking for a girlfriend then it pays to court her while qualifying her more.

Find out what you really want and these things become obvious.

 

[Bigpapa]

You really have no idea why she went cold, so your conclusion is based on a massive assumption. Maybe she met someone that doesn't smoke and favors guys that don't smoke. Maybe her dog died. Maybe she noticed you getting all excited about this mystery joint location and got rape vibes. Maybe she wanted you to grab her as$ on the spot and slap her. Who knows?

Every girl is different, and rather than trying to adapt to her vibe just to get laid you should be qualifying her to see if she's what you want.

If you're in the mood for a quick fling then yes it pays to move fast because the qualifications are minimal. It also pays to know how to filter for the slvts that want the same. If the vibe dies then move on and don't overthink it, sex is easy and cheap.

If you're looking for a girlfriend then it pays to court her while qualifying her more.

Find out what you really want and these things become obvious.

Yes, makes sense what you are saying and I agree

Quick question though, have you ever passed the 2 dates with not even a kiss and managed to see the girl the 3rd time? And if yes, it is something that happens often or it is more an against the odds thing?

In my case, with girls under 30, I never saw the girl the 3rd time without even kissing her previously. All of them all out of sudden from purring kittens become extremely cold or feisty and no matter what I do I can not talk normally with them anymore, unless I meet them accidentally in real life and flirt with them. And from there on at the next date in maximum 30 minutes are back at my place

 

[Bigpapa]

The only thing I would say, don't mix drugs and dating (I have nothing against weed as I smoked for 15 years) but I think it's a better idea not to mix the two, weed + dating = weird situations.

I do not usually smoke weed, I do not really like it. But since the girl mentioned that she does this from time to time I thought that it is a great excuse for her to come to your place or you to go hers

Did this a couple of times in the past and it worked just fine. It took 5-10 minutes till I started escalating and never actually smoked weed with them

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I mean if you build enough solid sexual tension holding back (a little, don't over do it) can only work to your advantage. But if on the other hand, you acted like one of her friends and held out for X or Y reason, yes she will move on and put you in the buddy category.

 

[Bigpapa]

Well it's a good reason to invite her at your place, since she mentionned that she smokes occasionnaly, but what I think happened is that she doesn't really smoke that mich and was not comfortable enough to smoke with you, especially at your place so she backed off. But I dont know all the details.

Never mentioned explicitly my place, just said to go smoke it

But it could be the case that she was not comfortable to smoke one with me even though she agreed to it when we set up the date

She also joked that we will smoke like homeless people in the street and that she is not that comfortable, to which I replied that she does not have to worry about it and that we will figure something out

Maybe I should have been more explicit about going to my place when she said this, but I was afraid that she will not want to so instead was just “ ywah yeah, do not worry. We will figure something out” and when I was with her to just walk 2-3 minutes till my place

I think that she was not in the mood for it was genuine though as she told me as she was going into the taxi that she was expecting to arrive home later than this

Just that I was “shocked” that the initial plan did not work and she did not offered to keep me company either, and I could not come with an alternate plan on the spot in just a couple of minutes

 

[Bigpapa]

I mean if you build enough solid sexual tension holding back (a little, don't over do it) can only work to your advantage. But if on the other hand, you acted like one of her friends and held out for X or Y reason, yes she will move on and put you in the buddy category.

I do not believe that the friendzone happens to guys that women are attracted from the get go

Friendzone from what I have seen only happens to guys that women have little to no attraction to begin with

If a girl likes you and you do not escalate as fast as she expects, she will just hate you as she thinks that you are blowing her off and thus you are a despicable person for not thinking that she is good enough for you

The friendzone ( of her being into you and then friendzoning you ) is just a myth like the wall and the chad

This is a convo I had with a really cool girl about this

 

[Bigpapa]

Translation: Awww you're a nice guy, but I'm going to reject you because you were not the man with balls I thought you were, and you didn't kiss me cause you were afraid of losing me, and that was the thing that actually lost me, the lack of courage, and it became a self fulfilling prophecy" or something like that.

From experience this is not the line of thoughts that women have in regards to this

It is auto rejection because they assume that you do not like them in the same way they like you, so they reject you first in order to save face

It is kinda the same thing like when for example you brake up with a girl and she tells you that you are bad in bed or that you have a small penis ( even though she was purrring like a kitten )

Actually every time you brake up with a girl is a sh1t show and eventually the girl will become vindictive. They never take things like this lightly ( unless she lost the last drop of respect for you, but then she is doing the brake up not you )

She is not doing this because she actually thinks this, but more to make you feel like sh1t because you dumped her and as a way to get back to you. Childish play

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

It really depends on the girl and the culture. For example in Quebec taking your time is autosabotage, but in Russia or with EE girls, going to fast is something to avoid. There is no defined "protocol" to follow, you gotta feel the girl's vibe and be able to read the signs accurately which is not easy. I've read your thread quickly but I think you didn't do anything "wrong", sometimes it just doesn't work, don't try to understand, girls are fvcked up.

The only thing I would say, don't mix drugs and dating (I have nothing against weed as I smoked for 15 years) but I think it's a better idea not to mix the two, weed + dating = weird situations.

Weed and drugs and alcohol also mess with your sleep. So basically the most important part of sleep is REM sleep. And if you don't have that then your subconscious won't work efficiently. So for example, let's say there's an experience that you did not know your subconscious did not like. Well that gets filtered out during REM sleep and if your not getting your REM sleep then those experiences build up and will effect your health and confidence etc over time. REM sleep is very important.

Over a while this will create significant changes on how your mind develops.

I also smoked weed for like 20 years until a few years ago when I started hypnosis and learned this

 

[Bigpapa]

Come on be honest, you didn't kiss her the first time cause you were scared of her no reciprocating, right?

No, the first time I stayed with her more than initially planned and when I realized that this has happened I kinda panicked and left in a hurry

Realized in the taxi that I should have kissed her, but then I told myself that I will do it next time and if I do not see it again that such is life

 

[MtmVaott]

Met a girl through cold approach and we set up a date

She might have thought only players or very bold men do cold approaches. So she put you in one of these categories.
The first date seemed to have confirmed her opinion (despite no kiss, who cares, you were in a hurry that's understandable and plausible for her).

We stay for like 2h, I did not escalate as I did not want to scare her till she is not at my place

Have you been reluctant to kiss her in public? And get eventually rejected in public?

We leave after 2h and tell her to go smoke the joint ( not explicitly telling her that we will go to my place ) . She gives it to me and excuses that she is tired and does not feel like smoking one now. I give it back and tell her that I will not smoke it alone

The same as above. She got disappointed because she expected you to act differently based on the two previous encounters. Maybe she interpreted your hesitation as disinterest, or she realized you are secretely insecure.

We do a couple more steps and she calls for an Uber. She talks super fast for like 2-3 minutes then the Uber comes. She gives me the most passionate cheek kiss ever and tells me that she was expecting to stay till late tonight

She liked you a lot, hence the cheek kiss and her showing her disappointment to you.

You could have changed the date if you would have made yourself vulnerable and told her what you want - to get to your place.
Even right after she told you she expected to stay late at night. "I actually wanted to take you to go to my place to finish the joint there. But I was afraid you'd reject me." There would have been a good chance she wouldn't have taken the cab. But sure - it's doubtable if you want to continue a date with this power relation - and I know opening up like that is near impossible if you're already insecure in the situation

 

[Bigpapa]

Have you been reluctant to kiss her in public? And get eventually rejected in public?

No, I thought about kissing her in public but then I was like “ nah man, she will come later to my place. What if the kiss will complicate things later like the anti slut defense. Does not worth the risk ”

Was focusing on the big objective

@All_Kindz_Of_Gainz , yes here I was afraid to kiss her

@MtmVaott really sad overall. I Really liked the girl

 

[MtmVaott]

No, I thought about kissing her in public but then I was like “ nah man, she will come later to my place. What if the kiss will complicate things later like the anti slut defense. Does not worth the risk ”

@All_Kindz_Of_Gainz , yes here I was afraid to kiss her

That's all kind of rationalisations man
I have added text under my previous post after you have just responded to it.

 

[Bigpapa]

That's all kind of rationalisations man
I have added text under my previous post after you have just responded to it.

Actually gold what you added. Did not thought about going like this at all

Genius !

Did this a couple of times in the past and it went good. But here it just did not came to mind a move like this at all, felt the time pressure really deep which made me freeze

But I agree, it takes a lot of courage to do something like you mentioned. It is the ultimate Hail Mary ( but with style ). Only if I could go back in time

 

[pipeman84]

I think the title of this thread is totally wrong and can mislead guys who don't know any better.
If you're talking about situations like drunken ONS or hookups with other tourists in a party destination, then yeah, it makes sense to move fast.
Other than that, as Doc Love used to say, you can't move too slow with a clinically sane woman, only too fast.
The girl could have lost interest in you for a myriad different reasons, the fact you didn't kiss her on first date or grabbed her by the pvssy within 2 hours of spending time together on the second date are not valid reasons.

 

[Bigpapa]

The girl could have lost interest in you for a myriad different reasons, the fact you didn't kiss her on first date or grabbed her by the pvssy within 2 hours of spending time together on the second date are not valid reasons.

Yes, in theory you are right and makes sense what you are saying

Quick question though, have you ever passed the 2 dates with not even a kiss and managed to see the girl the 3rd time? And if yes, it is something that happens often or it is more an against the odds thing?

In my case, with girls under 30, I never saw the girl the 3rd time without even kissing her previously. All of them all out of sudden from purring kittens become extremely cold or feisty and no matter what I do I can not talk normally with them anymore, unless I meet them accidentally in real life later on and flirt with them. And from there on at the next date in maximum 30 minutes are back at my place

 

[pipeman84]

Yes, in theory you are right and makes sense what you are saying

Quick question though, have you ever passed the 2 dates with not even a kiss and managed to see the girl the 3rd time? And if yes, it is something that happens often or it is more an against the odds thing?

In my case, with girls under 30, I never saw the girl the 3rd time without even kissing her previously. All of them all out of sudden from purring kittens become extremely cold or feisty and no matter what I do I can not talk normally with them anymore, unless I meet them accidentally in real life later on and flirt with them. And from there on at the next date in maximum 30 minutes are back at my place

My personal experience is not really relevant as I'm very specific about who I date (sniper as opposed to machine gun approach) and what I'm after (wife material, not casual sex). That's why I mentioned Doc Love, the guy is an OG in the seduction community.

 

[Bigpapa]

My personal experience is not really relevant as I'm very specific about who I date (sniper as opposed to machine gun approach) and what I'm after (wife material, not casual sex). That's why I mentioned Doc Love, the guy is an OG in the seduction community.

Yeah, but maybe you have it wrong thinking that a wifey material is different than a hoe in terms of how to seduce them

Maybe the difference is only in character, not in what they respond to in terms of seduction or behave sexually

For example guys who are man hoes or hubby material are attracted to the same thing sexually. Why it would be different for hoe vs wifey material?

In all fairness, I also have this doubts from time to time, and sometimes f8ck it up because of these thoughts

 

[pipeman84]

Yeah, but maybe you have it wrong thinking that a wifey material is different than a hoe in terms of how to seduce them

Maybe the difference is only in character, not in what they respond to in terms of seduction or behave sexually

For example guys who are man hoes or hubby material are attracted to the same thing sexually. Why it would be different for hoe vs wifey material?

In all fairness, I also have this doubts from time to time, and sometimes f8ck it up because of these thoughts

A girl who is wife material (automatically virgin or very low notch) will want to get to know the guy first, build an emotional connection, then ultimately make love. For such a girl, the sexual act is intrinsically linked to love, which any clinically sane woman knows can't develop over 3 dates. A clear marker for a hoe, be it professional (escort) or the OLD/nightclub variety is that they have disconnected the act of sex from love.

While they may be attracted to the same thing sexually, I don't think that man hoes and hubby material guys act the same ... and therefre they will attract/create totally different outcomes. For instance a man hoe goes by the sex within 3 dates or next mantra whereas a guy interested in finding a wife knows that approach will only get him a low quality woman.

 

[Bigpapa]

A girl who is wife material (automatically virgin or very low notch) will want to get to know the guy first, build an emotional connection, then ultimately make love. For such a girl, the sexual act is intrinsically linked to love, which any clinically sane woman knows can't develop over 3 dates. A clear marker for a hoe, be it professional (escort) or the OLD/nightclub variety is that they have disconnected the act of sex from love.

While they may be attracted to the same thing sexually, I don't think that man hoes and hubby material guys act the same ... and therefre they will attract/create totally different outcomes. For instance a man hoe goes by the sex within 3 dates or next mantra whereas a guy interested in finding a wife knows that approach will only get him a low quality woman.

Let me know how it goes, but from my end it is not about having sex in the first 2-3 dates but about moving fast and showing clear sexual interest, and that if you do not show it she will assume that you are not interested in the same thing as she is and thus auto rejects

From my experience there is no difference between how a virgin, low notch girl or a hoe perceives things if you do not show clear sexual intent as soon as possible. You might prolong it, but if by the end of the 2nd date you did not even kiss her she will auto reject and thinking that you are a despicable person for not seeing what a beautiful girl she is