Men Just Want Mommy

[BadBoy89]

A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."

Famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.

Opinion | Men Just Want Mommy (Published 2005)

Maureen Dowd Op-Ed column cites several recent movies in which men of accomplishment take up with their secretaries, assistants, nannies, and women who seek equality are turned into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection; suspects that art is imitating life; notes...

www.nytimes.com

In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm.

As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."

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Thoughts?

 

[SW15]

I am unable to read the NY Times article due to the pay wall.

My sense is that Maureen Dowd was confusing elements of motherhood with elements of traditional femininity, which is attractive.

As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."

Secretaries have been fading out for the most part. I think most men would rather marry a Twin Peaks waitress than a careerist middle to upper management business executive, lawyer, or any other high achieving professional woman. A good portion of these high achieving professional women have advanced degrees too. When a woman has an advanced degree, she's typically less dateable in longer term relationships.

 

[BadBoy89]

Behind pay wall, can't read the NY Times article.

WASHINGTON - A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."

I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.

Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.

In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago, it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the soothing aura of romances between unequals.

In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" without the charm.

The same attraction of unequals animated 2003's holiday hit, Richard Curtis's "Love Actually." The witty and sophisticated British prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.

(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the morning with the sound turned off?)

Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.

As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."

A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.

As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.

"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night stands.

A second study by researchers at four British universities that was reported last week suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.

So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax? The more women achieve, the less desirable they are? Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to -- unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.

I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who challenge men are in trouble.

"I haven't dated in 12 million years," she said drily. "I gave up on dating powerful men because they wanted to date women in the service professions. So I decided to date guys in the service professions. But then I found out that kings want to be treated like kings, and consorts want to be treated like kings, too."

 

[SW15]

The entire article doesn't change my conclusions. The women in the subordinate relationships tend to display qualities most associated with femininity, which are most attractive to men.

Men don't care at all about women's annual salaries, job titles, or educational attainment level.

Men care about physical attractiveness and typical feminine traits.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Unlike most men, I'll willingly marry you if your net worth is higher than mine.

DMs are open.

No prenup, you love me don't you?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It's probably because career-oriented women tend to be too busy with their career to make sex a priority.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."

Famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.

Opinion | Men Just Want Mommy (Published 2005)

Maureen Dowd Op-Ed column cites several recent movies in which men of accomplishment take up with their secretaries, assistants, nannies, and women who seek equality are turned into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection; suspects that art is imitating life; notes...

www.nytimes.com

In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm.

As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."

-----

Thoughts?

She's not necessarily wrong. Whether it's bad or good is in the eye of the beholder I suppose. Personally I prefer to be self sufficient, there are a lot of guys who go straight from mommy to wife and never learned how to care for themselves.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who challenge men are in trouble.

Carrie died in 2016 and The best Awful was published in 2004, so this article's information is from 2004 or earlier.

It was also true in my youth that women with high intelligence and academic degrees had more trouble getting LTR relationships, because they don't want blue collar workers for husbands.

 

[RangerMIke]

Men want attractive women that are pleasant and fun to be with: Women want men that they are sexually attracted too that can take care of her. This isn't rocket science.