How to get frame back

[Clockwerk50]

Hi guys,

Just looking for your 2 cents here. I have been talking to this girl in like once per week and we had our first meet up about a month ago. I have been playing my game, being difficult, cancelling meet ups, etc.

Anyways, she unexpectedly saw me and invited me for lunch and like an idiot I agreed. I wasn’t totally prepared for this but basically she was the one who drove me, paid for the lunch, the place I picked was full of people, logistics where a mess, and she then drove me where I had my car. I felt like the girl to be honest. Even getting out of the car was awkward for me since I feel like under normal circumstances I would have gone for the kiss but I didn’t, and maybe she thinks I should have. I was even stressing because the way she was driving and was kind of rude and a humorous way.

Anyways, they usually text me back after a meet up or so to thank me but this time I feel like I at least should thank her. She hasn’t messaged me at all after a day but I am trying to figure out what is the strategy here to get my masculinity back. I think, out of common courtesy, I should just say thanks for paying the bill, maybe after 5-9 days…

Ps: I haven’t smashed. I feel like I am headed to the friend zone soon.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"Had a great time, next one's on me."

 

[Smooth_texter]

Hi guys,

Just looking for your 2 cents here. I have been talking to this girl in like once per week and we had our first meet up about a month ago. I have been playing my game, being difficult, cancelling meet ups, etc.

Anyways, she unexpectedly saw me and invited me for lunch and like an idiot I agreed. I wasn’t totally prepared for this but basically she was the one who drove me, paid for the lunch, the place I picked was full of people, logistics where a mess, and she then drove me where I had my car. I felt like the girl to be honest. Even getting out of the car was awkward for me since I feel like under normal circumstances I would have gone for the kiss but I didn’t, and maybe she thinks I should have. I was even stressing because the way she was driving and was kind of rude and a humorous way.

Anyways, they usually text me back after a meet up or so to thank me but this time I feel like I at least should thank her. She hasn’t messaged me at all after a day but I am trying to figure out what is the strategy here to get my masculinity back. I think, out of common courtesy, I should just say thanks for paying the bill, maybe after 5-9 days…

Ps: I haven’t smashed. I feel like I am headed to the friend zone soon.

OP, not sure why you have waited a full month for a second date?

Was this some kind of a strategy to increase her interest level?
I did that a few years ago, and let me tell you - it does not work. That like 1-2 years from a woman's perspective (being approached in real life and hundreds of interested men online)

Secondly, waiting 5-9 days just to text her is also a losing strategy - since the more time that passes, the more the lead is getting colder.

You can text her tomorrow (or even better - call her), and see her reaction. Although I think that you have put yourself in the friendzone already by waiting a full month.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

It's painfully obvious you should of escalated.

This doesn't even have anything to do with frame at all

 

[Clockwerk50]

OP, not sure why you have waited a full month for a second date?

Was this some kind of a strategy to increase her interest level?
I did that a few years ago, and let me tell you - it does not work. That like 1-2 years from a woman's perspective (being approached in real life and hundreds of interested men online)

Secondly, waiting 5-9 days just to text her is also a losing strategy - since the more time that passes, the more the lead is getting colder.

You can text her tomorrow (or even better - call her), and see her reaction. Although I think that you have put yourself in the friendzone already by waiting a full month.

She is married so I can’t shoot all my bullets without the logistics in place. But yea, I’ll give her a call.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Ok I called. I don’t feel girly anymore. I guess I was insecure after that whole fiasco. I’ll wait until the cat comes back and get better logistics. Thanks!

 

[Barrister]

OP,

Not escalating was a mistake, but other than that you are completely overthinking this. We get ourselves in trouble when we try to micro-analyze everything. I also think the cancelling of plans is generally an overrated tactic for creating interest. You definitely don't want her to think you have nothing to do in your life, but cancelling typically should only be done for legitimate reasons IMO. Instead, simply set your dates out 4-7 days in advance. This lets her know you aren't available very often without the need to cancel. Otherwise, you run into her potentially "returning the favor" and wasting your time as well.

 

[RazorRambo24]

"How to get frame back". Don't. Move on, if she's even desiring you a little, she'll make it known after some time.

From what I read she's either not into you at all, or wanting to make it clear it was just a platonic thing. Hope this helps you out.

 

[Clockwerk50]

yeah, none of this is "frame". Frame is who you are, not what you do.

You didn't lose your masculinity, you just have a very fragile masculinity and she can probably smell it on you... If you "lost" your masculinity, you didn't have it to start with.

I'm not understanding these arbitrary "wait x number of days before responding" things. If you had fun on the date, literally just tell her that. Have you touched her in any way? Shown yourself in any sexual light whatsoever?

Yea, I hug her, touch her back, biceps, I make sexual innuendos, tease her about what she is wearing, etc

To be honest I was just frustrated that I would tell her to turn right and she would turn left. Do a U-turn and she would go into the parking lot. Also when I got dropped off I felt like a dirty h0e for some reason. Like she should have made the move. So I didn’t have fun during the drive. And I guess I am so used to getting called that this time I felt I needed to at least say thank you as a common courtesy. It is an ego thing.

But yea I called her, said thank you, I’ll pay for the next one, and I’ll just wait for her to come back. If she doesn’t it is all good. I was just anxious about the above dilemma.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Yea, I hug her, touch her back, biceps, I make sexual innuendos, tease her about what she is wearing, etc

To be honest I was just frustrated that I would tell her to turn right and she would turn left. Do a U-turn and she would go into the parking lot. Also when I got dropped off I felt like a dirty h0e for some reason. Like she should have made the move. So I didn’t have fun during the drive. And I guess I am so used to getting called that this time I felt I needed to at least say thank you as a common courtesy. It is an ego thing.

But yea I called her, said thank you, I’ll pay for the next one, and I’ll just wait for her to come back. If she doesn’t it is all good. I was just anxious about the above dilemma.

Ouch, so this just furthers what I believe to be true about this situation. I think you just freaked her out/creeped her out.. She invited you out for lunch and I think you took that for an invitation to hit on her.. her not texting you or anything is her trying to let you know she has 0 interest in you in that way. I think the fact that she took you home like that says alot too. I think the reason you felt awkward even gettin out the car was because your subconscious knows it was like she ended the hangout early after being freaked out and basically just dropped you home out of courtesy.

My question to you is , What on Earth made you think she was into you in the first place just because she invited you out to lunch? lol Girls rarely initiate.. that sht ws platonic brother. Hence why she hasn't talked to you and a month has passed. You coulda at least made a friend but you fumbled that part lol.

I too used to make the mistake of thinking just because a girl was talking to me or wanted to hang out that it meant that she was into me. I was spoiled by my circumstances and automatically thought every girl must like me just because I exist. It was only when I hit my 20's when I realized that some girls just want friendship/to hang out platonically, sometimes because they have a type and you're not it, or other times because they already have someone they are into and just need people to talk to, eat lunch with, hang with, etc.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I realized that some girls just want friendship/to hang out platonically

I dont get it, never will. If girls want platonic friendships, they have their female friends for that. We should tell these b1tches to F0ck Off.


Say what you will about Rollo, but I think it was him who said something like:

"Girls have female friends and male friends. If you are not banging her, you are her female friend".

Not many of Rollos thoughts have stuck to me but that´s one of them.


And another thing: Why is it called "Platonic"? Was Platoe an Incel? Did Platoe got reincarnated as @corrector ?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Ouch, so this just furthers what I believe to be true about this situation. I think you just freaked her out/creeped her out.. She invited you out for lunch and I think you took that for an invitation to hit on her.. her not texting you or anything is her trying to let you know she has 0 interest in you in that way. I think the fact that she took you home like that says alot too. I think the reason you felt awkward even gettin out the car was because your subconscious knows it was like she ended the hangout early after being freaked out and basically just dropped you home out of courtesy.

My question to you is , What on Earth made you think she was into you in the first place just because she invited you out to lunch? lol Girls rarely initiate.. that sht ws platonic brother. Hence why she hasn't talked to you and a month has passed. You coulda at least made a friend but you fumbled that part lol.

I too used to make the mistake of thinking just because a girl was talking to me or wanted to hang out that it meant that she was into me. I was spoiled by my circumstances and automatically thought every girl must like me just because I exist. It was only when I hit my 20's when I realized that some girls just want friendship/to hang out platonically, sometimes because they have a type and you're not it, or other times because they already have someone they are into and just need people to talk to, eat lunch with, hang with, etc.

You might be right; however, her and I had to go back to work. It was a spontaneous lunch and I was caught off guard hence the horrible logistics. I don't think I creep her out from the phone call and her reaction to it, but again, who knows, her IL could be medium or low due to the mixed signals. I will just let it marinate since I am not in rush with this situation to speak with and have no pressure/neediness at all.

Actually, I was more concerned about the fact of how rude I was with her driving and the way I left the vehicle; I was under the impression that I offended her so I didn't want to initiate the conversation. I have like 3 messages like this from differen girls in my early 20s because my humour can come out as cruel and rude or I would be super drunk creating drama and insulting. It is something I am working on:

"I didn't like the comment you made the other day. I hope you learn how to respect next time" / "I respect people a lot and your comment made me mad. The way he dresses might be something but he is very educated... he has been my friend for a long time and he came from Houston to visit me. You did say your joke with bad intentions because I saw it in your face and I am not dumb lol. But anyways, it doesn't matter I still like you but remember for the next time. Take care"- When I made fun of some girl's guy friend before I finished talking to her.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I say nothing. Your not obligated to be curtious. OP dont go that route. Wait her out even after this. Shes somewhat invested even with no smash.

These women take free meals all the fcking time

Too late. The ball is in her court if she wants to have a romantic smash session. Just need to pull back a little bit...

 

[Glassguy]

OP it sounds like the only person you're gaming is yourself. Silly games don't work and don't replace an alpha mindset and solid frame.

You lead. She complies. Or she doesn't. It's fine either way. High interest women will follow.

You bang them, leave them wondering about a relationship. Easy enough.

 

[MatureDJ]

Hi guys,

Just looking for your 2 cents here. I have been talking to this girl in like once per week and we had our first meet up about a month ago. I have been playing my game, being difficult, cancelling meet ups, etc.

Anyways, she unexpectedly saw me and invited me for lunch and like an idiot I agreed. I wasn’t totally prepared for this but basically she was the one who drove me, paid for the lunch, the place I picked was full of people, logistics where a mess, and she then drove me where I had my car. I felt like the girl to be honest. Even getting out of the car was awkward for me since I feel like under normal circumstances I would have gone for the kiss but I didn’t, and maybe she thinks I should have. I was even stressing because the way she was driving and was kind of rude and a humorous way.

Anyways, they usually text me back after a meet up or so to thank me but this time I feel like I at least should thank her. She hasn’t messaged me at all after a day but I am trying to figure out what is the strategy here to get my masculinity back. I think, out of common courtesy, I should just say thanks for paying the bill, maybe after 5-9 days…

Ps: I haven’t smashed. I feel like I am headed to the friend zone soon.

Is she fat? How tall are you?

 

[RazorRambo24]

I dont get it, never will. If girls want platonic friendships, they have their female friends for that. We should tell these b1tches to F0ck Off.


Say what you will about Rollo, but I think it was him who said something like:

"Girls have female friends and male friends. If you are not banging her, you are her female friend".

Not many of Rollos thoughts have stuck to me but that´s one of them.


And another thing: Why is it called "Platonic"? Was Platoe an Incel? Did Platoe got reincarnated as @corrector ?

To me, Rollo is just an author and nothing more. These days he's a laughing stock and can barely control his emotions. Nothing is cool about him and nothing ever was. To me, people who don't have interesting or unique personalities are probably not ideal when it comes to wmen. I mean there's a million boring white dudes just like Rollo..

Now, female friends.. I won't even say too much besides, When I started keeping female friends, it ws one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Women can be amazing assets to your life, and unlike dudes, they don't constantly try to compare themselves with you or compete with you, or get angry when you smash a girl they were secretly crushing on, or feel bad because you're doing better than them.. Ofc I have an amazing alpha male tribe of friends nowadays.. but it took a while to find guys who were on the same level as me and were actually stand up dudes.

I think the problem is, guys who don't and who haven't ever had good female friends, don't get it. Most guys think from the scarcity side of "if u have female friends it means she FRIENDZONED U"... when in reality a guy who has abundance doesnt think about smashing every chick he meets, I mean sht, I'm pretty picky with who I am attracted to anyways.. girls know that. and i've had female friends i have hooked up with regardless, but ultimately decided to keep sht platonic. Mostly because women catch feelings pretty fast and it can make things weird.

Never make a woman you aren't very interested in too invested in you, if she doesn't get what she wants out of that investment, she can turn bitter and resentful. That's why some women are better assets when kept platonically.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Seems like you are going to lose women from playing games far more often than succeed with this strategy.