No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[Epicenter]

This is a lot like what it says in the Bhagavad Gita, the chief scripture of my religion

Schopenhauer got it from the Buddhists.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Schopenhauer got it from the Buddhists.

And the Buddhists got it from the Hindus

 

[corrector]

I have watched several documentaries that are talking about some major population collapse as unplanned childlessnesd is the new quiet pandemic. We should see a sharp decline in the global population and collapse of social security (not enough taxes collected to support greying populations).by 2050.

It is foolish not to have childen as you will be at fault for this. Do your part and bring at least 2 kids in the world. (I am exempted of course being incel and all that but the OP and everyone else should take notice)

 

[MtmVaott]

Maybe the reason why I didn't do it is because I'm always nervous about having sex since I'm afraid of accidental pregnancy. That and since it's been a really long time since I've had any, so it would be pretty nerve wracking for me if I found myself alone with a woman and prospect of sex was on the table.

What's behind these two fears?

 

[SW15]

The chick I went on a date with in '21 might have actually been a decent one to be in a relationship with in hindsight, but I didn't pursue it because she lived more than an hour away.

Bad relationship prospect. Maybe a prospect for a few instances of sex. That distance isn't going to result in a sustainable relationship. This is what happens to online daters a lot. They end up dealing with people who don't live close to them. In-person approaches who approach women at venues close to where they live tend to run into people who live close to them and are good prospects for relationships.

Maybe the reason why I didn't do it is because I'm always nervous about having sex since I'm afraid of accidental pregnancy. That and since it's been a really long time since I've had any, so it would be pretty nerve wracking for me if I found myself alone with a woman and prospect of sex was on the table.

Plus I get the impression that women who are virgins are less likely to be on birth control, which means the risk of accidental pregnancy would be higher. All in all I don't really know what to do with this one, whether or not I should keep talking to her or meet up with her again.

Furthermore I'm not really comfortable with the idea of having sex again until after I get a vasectomy. I'm genuinely creeped out by the fact that at this moment I'm theoretically capable of producing biological offspring. Accidentally getting a woman pregnant would be my worst nightmare, and I'm so afraid of that happening that it's kept me from having sex. I need to get a vasectomy but I'm apprehensive about the procedure itself since it's literally taking a scalpel blade to the nuts and also the stories I've heard about guys getting irreversible chronic pain after getting the surgery. I guess I'm just rambling on about things I've said before at this point but even just reading this post after writing it, it's clear that's I got a few issues going on

You have issues for sure and you acknowledge that.

Your fear of pregnancy is irrational. The best you can do to prevent pregnancy is use a condom during sex.

I have used condoms for multiple decades and ejaculated inside the vaginas of many women while wearing the condom. I do not have children.

Most of the women that I've had sex with over time have used birth control but some weren't using birth control.

There isn't that much of a need for a vasectomy.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I have watched several documentaries that are talking about some major population collapse as unplanned childlessnesd is the new quiet pandemic. We should see a sharp decline in the global population and collapse of social security (not enough taxes collected to support greying populations).by 2050.

It is foolish not to have childen as you will be at fault for this. Do your part and bring at least 2 kids in the world. (I am exempted of course being incel and all that but the OP and everyone else should take notice)

Certain mental problems run in my family and it would be unethical for me to pass them down. I'm not going to bring children into the world only for them to suffer as a result of this. If any children of mine were to inherit those things it would be all my fault and I would never be able to live with myself. For example autism runs in my mom's side of the family. Between me, my sister, and my two maternal cousins I am the only one who doesn't have it, although I still have ADHD. My relatives who do have it aren't very severely affected by it at all, they're just kinda nerdy and socially awkward, but the thing about these kinds of disorders is that they get more and more severe with successive generations. Because I have ADHD the chances of me having a child with autism is greater than 30% just by that factor alone. If you add in the fact that my sister and cousins have autism, my risk of having an autistic child is greater than 50%. I would be overwhelmed by raising a normal child, let alone one with special needs. Keep in mind as well that 90% of marriages in which the couple has a special needs child end in divorce.

The fact of the matter is that if one isn't prepared to raise a disabled child, they should not have kids. I'm not going to go thru all the trouble of getting married, having kids, losing sleep and free time because of it during the infant/toddler stage, only for me to find out that my kid is gonna be riding the short bus to school and will be a burden on society his whole life. To be quite frank saying I should "do my part" or whatever and have kids is a highly insensitive and offensive remark, especially when the prospect of me personally having children is such a genetic risk. I don't normally like to talk publicly about my family's medical history, but here it's absolutely warranted. With all the hardships in the world there needs to be strong, capable, intelligent, genetically sound children born, and the only children I would be able to provide to the world would certainly not fit that description. If somebody wants to raise a child with disabilities that's fine, but it sure as hell isn't going to be me. I need to take all possible measures to ensure no child of mine is ever born

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Bad relationship prospect. Maybe a prospect for a few instances of sex. That distance isn't going to result in a sustainable relationship. This is what happens to online daters a lot. They end up dealing with people who don't live close to them. In-person approaches who approach women at venues close to where they live tend to run into people who live close to them and are good prospects for relationships.



You have issues for sure and you acknowledge that.

Your fear of pregnancy is irrational. The best you can do to prevent pregnancy is use a condom during sex.

I have used condoms for multiple decades and ejaculated inside the vaginas of many women while wearing the condom. I do not have children.

Most of the women that I've had sex with over time have used birth control but some weren't using birth control.

There isn't that much of a need for a vasectomy.

Condoms aren't reliable enough to give me peace of mind, and women sometimes lie about being on birth control to trap men into having kids. For me to be comfortable having sex I need to get a vasectomy. Until I get one I will not have sex again. That is my ultimatum.

One problem in my experiences with online dating is like you describe, most of the good matches I get are quite far away from me. I don't get very many matches locally and as I've stated I have no way of meeting women thru in person approaches

 

[BergischerLöwe]

What's behind these two fears?

I absolutely do not ever want children, and every time I've had sex the fear of accidental pregnancy is in the back of my mind. I don't feel comfortable having sex without being sterilized. With the fact that I haven't had sex in a long time the concern is that it'll be really awkward since it's been so long. I feel like a virgin again

 

[SW15]

One problem in my experiences with online dating is like you describe, most of the good matches I get are quite far away from me. I don't get very many matches locally and as I've stated I have no way of meeting women thru in person approaches

One of the things you can do on swipe apps and reduce the distance of acceptable matches to a shorter distance, something like 10-15 miles in a major city.

I've stated I have no way of meeting women thru in person approaches

That's because of your mental blocks. I have met women through in person approaches. Guys like @BackInTheGame78 , @Jesse Pinkman , @We_ArE_VeNOM , @BPH , and many others have done so too.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

One of the things you can do on swipe apps and reduce the distance of acceptable matches to a shorter distance, something like 10-15 miles in a major city.



That's because of your mental blocks. I have met women through in person approaches. Guys like @BackInTheGame78 , @Jesse Pinkman , @We_ArE_VeNOM , @BPH , and many others have done so too.

Any time I reduce the distance I run out of profiles to swipe on after a while. I don't think it's just mental blocks in my case, and sure many others have approached women in public but they're not me

 

[SW15]

Any time I reduce the distance I run out of profiles to swipe on after a while.

Everyone has experienced that. When I used swipe apps, I would eventually run out of profiles and I'm in one of the biggest metro areas in the USA. It is possible to swipe through the entirety of the city.

Not every unattached woman seeking penis is on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge. Many men send DMs on Instagram. In my experience, it's even better to get out into the real world than sending DMs or swiping.

 

[MtmVaott]

I absolutely do not ever want children, and every time I've had sex the fear of accidental pregnancy is in the back of my mind. I don't feel comfortable having sex without being sterilized. With the fact that I haven't had sex in a long time the concern is that it'll be really awkward since it's been so long. I feel like a virgin again

I see. Best would be to find a woman that doesn't want children or can't. Preferably with a reason similar to yours, different from 'I don't like kids', because otherwise they could indeed 'change their minds'.

I can get that about feeling like a virgin. I wouldn't rush it then

 

[corrector]

That's because of your mental blocks. I have met women through in person approaches. Guys like @BackInTheGame78 , @Jesse Pinkman , @We_ArE_VeNOM , @BPH , and many others have done so too.

As in past tense. If you are honest then you would rather settle for a quasi cuck arrangment with a stale rotation then do another approach. You hate cold approaches and would avoid it if it was unnecessary.

 

[corrector]

Certain mental problems run in my family and it would be unethical for me to pass them down. I'm not going to bring children into the world only for them to suffer as a result of this. If any children of mine were to inherit those things it would be all my fault and I would never be able to live with myself. For example autism runs in my mom's side of the family. Between me, my sister, and my two maternal cousins I am the only one who doesn't have it, although I still have ADHD. My relatives who do have it aren't very severely affected by it at all, they're just kinda nerdy and socially awkward, but the thing about these kinds of disorders is that they get more and more severe with successive generations. Because I have ADHD the chances of me having a child with autism is greater than 30% just by that factor alone. If you add in the fact that my sister and cousins have autism, my risk of having an autistic child is greater than 50%. I would be overwhelmed by raising a normal child, let alone one with special needs. Keep in mind as well that 90% of marriages in which the couple has a special needs child end in divorce.

The fact of the matter is that if one isn't prepared to raise a disabled child, they should not have kids. I'm not going to go thru all the trouble of getting married, having kids, losing sleep and free time because of it during the infant/toddler stage, only for me to find out that my kid is gonna be riding the short bus to school and will be a burden on society his whole life. To be quite frank saying I should "do my part" or whatever and have kids is a highly insensitive and offensive remark, especially when the prospect of me personally having children is such a genetic risk. I don't normally like to talk publicly about my family's medical history, but here it's absolutely warranted. With all the hardships in the world there needs to be strong, capable, intelligent, genetically sound children born, and the only children I would be able to provide to the world would certainly not fit that description. If somebody wants to raise a child with disabilities that's fine, but it sure as hell isn't going to be me. I need to take all possible measures to ensure no child of mine is ever born

Okay, you are.exempted too. Problem solved.

 

[corrector]

I absolutely do not ever want children, and every time I've had sex the fear of accidental pregnancy is in the back of my mind. I don't feel comfortable having sex without being sterilized. With the fact that I haven't had sex in a long time the concern is that it'll be really awkward since it's been so long. I feel like a virgin again

Yeah, feels like you got handed an 18 year prison sentence if its an unplanned pregnancy.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Yeah, feels like you got handed an 18 year prison sentence if its an unplanned pregnancy.

I would literally rather go to jail than have a kid lol

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I see. Best would be to find a woman that doesn't want children or can't. Preferably with a reason similar to yours, different from 'I don't like kids', because otherwise they could indeed 'change their minds'.

I can get that about feeling like a virgin. I wouldn't rush it then

If I ever get married it could only be to a woman who also doesn't want kids. As for feeling like a virgin it's been so long since I've had sex that if I have it again I'll invariably be pretty nervous about it. Back when I was hooking up with girls from apps more frequently there were a couple girls that I had sex with the first time I met them in person. Even back then it was pretty nerve wracking to have sex immediately like that, any time that happened like that I felt a lot more pressure on me. If I meet a girl and meet up with her a few times before actually sleeping with her that would take the pressure off. However I don't see this dry spell I'm on ending any time soon. The year is more than half over already and I don't see it ending this year. I think when or if it ends I'll have gone at least five years without sex. Like I said earlier I'm not really upset about that, but sometimes I think about the fact the sex was never really very much of a regular part of my life. For most people my age it's probably as frequent as eating a meal or going to sleep every night, but in my case the only time in my life when I had sex on a regular basis was the year that I had a girlfriend

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Everyone has experienced that. When I used swipe apps, I would eventually run out of profiles and I'm in one of the biggest metro areas in the USA. It is possible to swipe through the entirety of the city.

Not every unattached woman seeking penis is on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge. Many men send DMs on Instagram. In my experience, it's even better to get out into the real world than sending DMs or swiping.

How would I break out into the real world tho? Someone such as myself wouldn't be able to go and start approaching immediately

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I think I’m a bit unusual here in that I really like women. Not just sexually. But I enjoy talking to them, being around them. Doing things with them. Much more than guys. I regret no encounters with women. Even the ONS & the inevitable break ups. There is always some sort of sexual chemistry & tension going on. That may have something to do with it. Part of my job has me interact with women constantly. Mostly younger (I’m middle aged, so definitely they’re younger) and attractive.
I get a lot of positive vibes from women. Probably fueling some dopamine rush & making me constantly horny.
For example. In the last week I had a client flirt with me. A girl at a bar approach me & s coworker blast me with sexual banter the whole day we worked together.

 

[SW15]

How would I break out into the real world tho? Someone such as myself wouldn't be able to go and start approaching immediately

I am astounded that a 27 year old is asking me how to get started with cold approaching. When I was first coming into the sexual marketplace as a teen in the late 1990s/early 2000s, most men knew how to do a basic approach by ages 18-20. When I first got to college in 2001, I was starting to see signs of slavery to technology, as I was seeing people sending instant messages on AOL Instant Messenger (a pre-cursor to text messaging) and not having as much in-person contact. In my freshman and sophomore years of college (2001-2002 and 2002-2003 school years), dating websites were still stigmatized but the stigma was quickly evaporating. In 2001-2003, the people who were using online dating websites were post-college older people, not college students.

The first thing that I recommend doing before cold approaching is enhancing your looks. Game is some combination of looks, money, status, and personality. Younger women tend to value looks above all, though you could play money and status game as a trust fund recipient. Even as a trust fund recipient, having a good body will take you far. Be active in some sort of exercise activity to lower body fat and build some muscle.

Then, the next thing that I would recommend considering are your own goals for relationship. That also impacts what channels you can use. Wheat Waffles has a great video about which actions you can take based upon your own goals in romantic interactions.

After that, it comes down to thinking about the women you desire, the lifestyles they live, and where the women you desire are most likely to be found in-person. You need to go where the women you desire go in real life.

One of the easier venues for working age adults is fitness classes. The environment of a fitness class roughly resembles either a high school or a college class. Most men do their first approaches as a result of high school or college classes, so there's something in the venue that's familiar. It's an easier approach to approach a woman after a fitness class as compared to a woman at a mall, bookstore, or grocery store. Find a class format that you like and start approaching. There are more women than men in most fitness class formats. Begin interactions with an observational comment or question. The most difficult part of fitness class approaching that women aren't as sociable before/after fitness classes as compared to before/after high school or college classes. There was even a recent SoSuave article about fitness class approaching.

A Gold Mine of Beautiful Girls

20 girls for every one guy. And almost all of them are supermodel beautiful.

www.sosuave.com

In high school and college, extracurricular activities/clubs were a decent way to meet women. As a working age adult, you still have some options that resemble those, but they are more difficult to explore. Co-ed sports leagues are one of the more common ways that people in their 20s/30s try to find romance. I have written about meeting women in co-ed sports leagues many times, so I won't go into it here. There are other activity groups outside of co-ed sports leagues. It depends on your interests. The only warning that I'd give with using social type groups to meet women is to avoid any group that is affiliated with Meetup.com. Meetup.com is a shiit platform. Women like to do what is cool, and Meetup has never had a cool factor. In most general social groups on Meetup, it's a bunch of horny/thirsty losers swarming the 1-2 average looking at best girls who go to the events. Most of the girls who go to events are subpar. Avoid Meetup groups.

After this, you might want to consider pursuing approaches in nightlife venues.

The hardest form of approaching is unstructured, non-bar approaching, whether it is indoor (general gym floor, grocery store, mall, etc) or outdoor (street, park, walking/hiking path). You need more advanced game to do these approaches. Outdoor non-bar approaching is the absolute most difficult form of approaching you can do.