Why most guys suck at dating apps.

CornbreadFed

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1). They have a higher emotional investment in the apps than girls- Girls always have 1 or 2 guys they can fallback to if needed. Your typical girl is on the app simply because she said "fvck it, why not". In some cases, mentally damaged girls will use apps to vent out their anger and trauma on random men. Meanwhile, most men are on the apps because they see it as a viable option to find their future partner and take it way more seriously. As a result, you have a lot of guys that put too much hopium into a girl that is simply on Tinder for lolz and he gets completely owned. Every time waster/toxic female will display her red flags to you, but it is up to you to open your eyes to them.

2). They are lazy, fragile, entitled- Most guys initially think they are the only guy on the app swiping right on women. They are then astonished by the number of male competitors on the apps and become bitter about it. Meanwhile, you do not have any good pictures of yourself, you say the same opening line to every girl you match with, you are a low value male with unreasonably high expectations, you live in your mom's basement in a suburb, and etc. As a result, instead of taking the time to fix these issues, these guys just making up conspiracies or blaming the logarithm. The good news is that it is not that hard to set yourself apart from 99% of men on the apps. I have lived in East Jabip, Montana and still managed to get laid on the apps.

3). They have bad game - I will firmly stand by this statement.... There is no flipping way you are terrible on the apps, but you are somehow this God at cold approaching women in public. Are you telling me that you can handle getting rejected in front of everybody while cold approaching a stranger in public, but an unresponsive match devastates you? Furthermore, you can have a fulfilling conversation with a stranger in real time and convert that into a connection, but you cannot analyze a girl's profile, initiate a conversation, and consistently maintain it? Yeah, that's a load of Bull Crap! Yes, they are different dating methods, but it doesn't take some Oppenheimer to adapt to them. Your witty pickup lines and librarian knowledge of every dating rule is novice level game. The best example of this is shown in that scene in Glory where the Colonel makes an example out of the soldier that thinks he is skilled because he can operate in a controlled environment. Real game is being able to read a conversation or woman's profile and turn that into something positive. When you have bad game, it spills over to 1 and 2. For example, there were glaring red flags that this girl was not taking you seriously on the apps, but you thought hopium and your text rule games would save you.

So what can you do?

1). Raise your SMV, get in shape, get out of your mom's basement in East Jabip, Ohio. No, you do not need to be a 10% body fat crypto entrepreneur billionaire to qualify to date women either.

2). Learn the basics of taking a photo.

3). Utilize hobbies/travel to acquire more photos.

4). Keep improving your game/talking to women outside the apps. Most of my photos came from other women that I was previously with.

5). Improve your logistics by moving to a growing city attracting young women.

6). Get rid of the defeatism mindset. Dating sucks regardless of the platform. This is why most men choose to settle for the first women that makes their weenie tingle. When dating starts to get uncomfortable for Chad, he even settles. If you are going to choose to spin plates long term, acknowledge that things can go to hell at any given point in time. There are cons to everything in life.

 

Smooth_texter

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Hi mate.

We usually align on most topics, but I would have to respectfully disagree on this one.

Women already have a huge volume to work with from fb, insta and OLD backlogs. Your advice would basically improve the average quality of those matches. Thus helping the female dating strategy.

The only viable option here is for men to have a mass exodus from OLD/social media (or at least on an individual level), which would actually solve most of the dating problems. But unfortunately, I do not see that happening.
 

Gamisch

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1). They have a higher emotional investment in the apps than girls- Girls always have 1 or 2 guys they can fallback to if needed. Your typical girl is on the app simply because she said "fvck it, why not". In some cases, mentally damaged girls will use apps to vent out their anger and trauma on random men. Meanwhile, most men are on the apps because they see it as a viable option to find their future partner and take it way more seriously. As a result, you have a lot of guys that put too much hopium into a girl that is simply on Tinder for lolz and he gets completely owned. Every time waster/toxic female will display her red flags to you, but it is up to you to open your eyes to them.

2). They are lazy, fragile, entitled- Most guys initially think they are the only guy on the app swiping right on women. They are then astonished by the number of male competitors on the apps and become bitter about it. Meanwhile, you do not have any good pictures of yourself, you say the same opening line to every girl you match with, you are a low value male with unreasonably high expectations, you live in your mom's basement in a suburb, and etc. As a result, instead of taking the time to fix these issues, these guys just making up conspiracies or blaming the logarithm. The good news is that it is not that hard to set yourself apart from 99% of men on the apps. I have lived in East Jabip, Montana and still managed to get laid on the apps.

3). They have bad game - I will firmly stand by this statement.... There is no flipping way you are terrible on the apps, but you are somehow this God at cold approaching women in public. Are you telling me that you can handle getting rejected in front of everybody while cold approaching a stranger in public, but an unresponsive match devastates you? Furthermore, you can have a fulfilling conversation with a stranger in real time and convert that into a connection, but you cannot analyze a girl's profile, initiate a conversation, and consistently maintain it? Yeah, that's a load of Bull Crap! Yes, they are different dating methods, but it doesn't take some Oppenheimer to adapt to them. Your witty pickup lines and librarian knowledge of every dating rule is novice level game. The best example of this is shown in that scene in Glory where the Colonel makes an example out of the soldier that thinks he is skilled because he can operate in a controlled environment. Real game is being able to read a conversation or woman's profile and turn that into something positive. When you have bad game, it spills over to 1 and 2. For example, there were glaring red flags that this girl was not taking you seriously on the apps, but you thought hopium and your text rule games would save you.

So what can you do?

1). Raise your SMV, get in shape, get out of your mom's basement in East Jabip, Ohio. No, you do not need to be a 10% body fat crypto entrepreneur billionaire to qualify to date women either.

2). Learn the basics of taking a photo.

3). Utilize hobbies/travel to acquire more photos.

4). Keep improving your game/talking to women outside the apps. Most of my photos came from other women that I was previously with.

5). Improve your logistics by moving to a growing city attracting young women.

6). Get rid of the defeatism mindset. Dating sucks regardless of the platform. This is why most men choose to settle for the first women that makes their weenie tingle. When dating starts to get uncomfortable for Chad, he even settles. If you are going to choose to spin plates long term, acknowledge that things can go to hell at any given point in time. There are cons to everything in life.

I disagree with 3 .I'd even say that there are TONS of men ( especially on sosauve) who're specialized in cold approach-pre 2020 style.

Due to the come up of OLD they left the scene. Perhaps disappointed and struck by the lack of results ,they believe (like you do) that their online smv =real life smv. But it doesn't.

Thing is, to "kill it on OLD" you basically don't have to have game. You just gotta have appealing pictures. Whether that's because you are naturally goodlooking or because yiu have a awesome lifestyle or a combination of those doesn't matter

If anything, OLD is ESPECIALLY interesting for men WITHOUT game. Because tge woman gets to choose, meaning that she is highly attracted by default. The no game factor will make her look further ,but at least dude got his D wet (again).Simultaneously 85% of men is not successful via OLD.

Are you saying that 85% of men are chumps who have no game? Dont you think that's a tad too much??
 

Solomon

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Hot take

If you're taking women on dating apps on "first dates" in 2023 you lost, In 2023 women will come to your house and bang you the first night
If you taking women out on dates that means you're not hot enough to her or didn't amplify her sexual arousal enough
75% of These women on dating apps are thots, stop taking them on dates it's a dummy mission

I personally think dating apps is a waste of time and bottom of the barrel women especially if you're over 30 looking for a LTR, the quality is hard to find
 
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I_have_BDE

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Hot take

If you're taking women on dating apps on "first dates" in 2023 you lost, In 2023 women will come to your house and bang you the first night
If you taking women out on dates that means you're not hot enough to her or didn't amplify her sexual arousal enough
75% of These women on dating apps are thots, stop taking them on dates it's a dummy mission
90 percent of the women on dating sites are not even hot though.
 

Solomon

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90 percent of the women on dating sites are not even hot though.
Which in a fucced up way proves my point, why would you take a chick you're barely attracted too on a date and spend money?
I'm not saying to bang ugly chicks all I'm saying is in 2023 dating is a$$ backwards, some women would rather have sex with you first than if they like your personality keep you around, it use to be the opposite, also now you have a rise in open/poly relationships something that use to be more underground in 2013 has literally become mainstream
 

Gamisch

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Hot take

If you're taking women on dating apps on "first dates" in 2023 you lost, In 2023 women will come to your house and bang you the first night
If you taking women out on dates that means you're not hot enough to her or didn't amplify her sexual arousal enough
75% of These women on dating apps are thots, stop taking them on dates it's a dummy mission

I personally think dating apps is a waste of time and bottom of the barrel women especially if you're over 30 looking for a LTR, the quality is hard to find
Lots of dudes are also self sabotaging due to having a fantasy and projecting on everything with a hole in it.

This man went viral recently because he was crying that he did " everything right" but yet his date gaslighted him outta nowhere.

Men have a Disney dream, and they'd never even dear to invite a woman straight to the crib. Simply to " protect her honor". Because IF this becomes his wife(SIGH) he can say he courted her the "old fashion way how it supposed to be ".
 

CornbreadFed

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I think there's some confusion. I am not arguing that apps are better, I am just explaining how guys are bad at them. I don't cold approach close because I am in a LTR, but I actively do approach and make conversations with women I find attractive. Approaching them/starting the conversation is the easiest part. The most difficult part IMHO is the extremely short time frame you have from opening to closing them with a number. Otherwise, you are just wasting her's and your time. On OLD, you have days to close and conversate with women.
 

The Duke

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@CornbreadFed i think you better pass the beans and tell me how you do it? I used to be pretty good at it. This is the first time I've used it in 5yrs and something has changed. Maybe it's too hot(the weather, not the women), maybe I'm too old. My pics are good, I hear that often.

I bet I left swipe 90% of the women on OLD. And maybe 5% are attractive enough that I actually want to put some effort into setting up a date. Tinder is garbage. Hinge and Bumble are full of fats, libtards, and blue haired tatted up hoe's.

I've gone out with one chic from OLD in the last 3mo. I used to go out with 3 per month.

I just don't see the talent. I only date HB8's. if you think it's so great, how attractive are the girls you go out with?

I just see very few possible candidates.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Gamisch

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That article is 8 (almost9) years old. I dear to say that the 80/20 ratio from a decade ago is now more like 90/10 or perhaps even 95/5.

Even the "other 15%" that were getting matches probably didn't get the matches they wanted, or they can't keep up with the cost of dating, and the mental cost of actually liking a woman andyet seeing them monkey branche all the damn time.

Basically you could be a 20 percenter and still have the same shyte experience that a man at the bottom has.
 

Hamurabimbi

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Hot take

If you're taking women on dating apps on "first dates" in 2023 you lost, In 2023 women will come to your house and bang you the first night
If you taking women out on dates that means you're not hot enough to her or didn't amplify her sexual arousal enough
75% of These women on dating apps are thots, stop taking them on dates it's a dummy mission

I personally think dating apps is a waste of time and bottom of the barrel women especially if you're over 30 looking for a LTR, the quality is hard to find
I’m probably paranoid. But I don’t trust people. I always met my Tinder matches in a public place first. I don’t feel comfortable inviting a stranger over, sight unseen. Or just going to her place.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Most of it simply has to do with an inability to actually enjoy this part of the interaction, what I call "digging your hooks into them" so they HAVE to meet you.

It's being fun, interesting, taking an interest in them and having some conversation that involves more than one or two word messages. Actually investing a little bit in the Convo. If you invest a little she will usually invest a LOT. Most guys have no ability to do this meaning she doesn't really feel any interest in meeting up unless she thinks you are super hot.

Personality, charm and being wittily funny goes a long way in getting them interested in finding out more about you in person.

My flake counts are almost non existent. I am exceptional at getting women from first message to meet up in a week or less.

It's not hard, it just requires an actual interest in women that really can't be faked.
 

Hamurabimbi

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Most of it simply has to do with an inability to actually enjoy this part of the interaction, what I call "digging your hooks into them" so they HAVE to meet you.

It's being fun, interesting, taking an interest in them and having some conversation that involves more than one or two word messages. Actually investing a little bit in the Convo. If you invest a little she will usually invest a LOT. Most guys have no ability to do this meaning she doesn't really feel any interest in meeting up unless she thinks you are super hot.

Personality, charm and being wittily funny goes a long way in getting them interested in finding out more about you in person.

My flake counts are almost non existent. I am exceptional at getting women from first message to meet up in a week or less.

It's not hard, it just requires an actual interest in women that really can't be faked.
On girls I matched with. I’d read her bio. Listen to her Spotify & peruse her IG. That way I could get an idea of her.
 

BackInTheGame78

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On girls I matched with. I’d read her bio. Listen to her Spotify & peruse her IG. That way I could get an idea of her.
Yeah, exactly. Guys think none of this matters but it gives you free topics of conversation, why wouldn't you use them?? Also will give you an idea of the type of vibe you're likely to have with them.

So many guys are asking "What do I talk about?" Or "I keep running out of things to say" and this literally gives you 20-30+ free topics to bring up and talk about with them, why wouldn't you take it?? It's like guys have the opportunity to have an easy ice breaker but they'd rather go in cold and take their chances. Why? Makes no sense to me.
 

Solomon

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I’m probably paranoid. But I don’t trust people. I always met my Tinder matches in a public place first. I don’t feel comfortable inviting a stranger over, sight unseen. Or just going to her place.
Nothing wrong with that, and actually a smart thing to do, however my point is, OLD should not be taking serious unless they proof themselves
 

Solomon

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@CornbreadFed i think you better pass the beans and tell me how you do it? I used to be pretty good at it. This is the first time I've used it in 5yrs and something has changed. Maybe it's too hot(the weather, not the women), maybe I'm too old. My pics are good, I hear that often.

I bet I left swipe 90% of the women on OLD. And maybe 5% are attractive enough that I actually want to put some effort into setting up a date. Tinder is garbage. Hinge and Bumble are full of fats, libtards, and blue haired tatted up hoe's.

I've gone out with one chic from OLD in the last 3mo. I used to go out with 3 per month.

I just don't see the talent. I only date HB8's. if you think it's so great, how attractive are the girls you go out with?

I just see very few possible candidates.
Im curious since you're one of the few members I respect what is your age setting?
I'm in my late 30s and I noticed I tend to get most women who are 35-40 although I do get the occasional 25 year old hottie or fattie match lol
 

BadBoy89

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If you taking women out on dates that means you're not hot enough to her or didn't amplify her sexual arousal enough
How does a man do that.
 

Solomon

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Most of it simply has to do with an inability to actually enjoy this part of the interaction, what I call "digging your hooks into them" so they HAVE to meet you.

It's being fun, interesting, taking an interest in them and having some conversation that involves more than one or two word messages. Actually investing a little bit in the Convo. If you invest a little she will usually invest a LOT. Most guys have no ability to do this meaning she doesn't really feel any interest in meeting up unless she thinks you are super hot.

Personality, charm and being wittily funny goes a long way in getting them interested in finding out more about you in person.

My flake counts are almost non existent. I am exceptional at getting women from first message to meet up in a week or less.

It's not hard, it just requires an actual interest in women that really can't be faked.
I totally agree with you and you're not wrong however most women in OLD having a convo is like pulling teeth and i'm not talking about just the young ones, but some of these women are boring AF
 

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