Do ya'll ghost women? If so how do you without feeling like a ****head?

[FlexpertHamilton]

I know it's good protocol to ghost toxic women or any woman who doesn't show any interest/effort. Not talking about that.

Talking more about ghosting women early on even if they show high IL just because you can't be bothered.

Couple examples:

Tonight I had a 1st date planned with this really cute chick from OLD but I'm dead tired and didn't feel like drinking or spending $$ or having sex.

A while back I had a date with this African chick, I LOVED her personality and values but I wasn't attracted to her body at all and after much deliberation I ghosted her after sending a short text that I had a good time but I was stressed out (both true).

In both of these cases I feel bad since they did nothing to deserve it. I try to be a "man of my word" and act with honesty so it doesn't sit right with me sometimes and I'm wondering if anyone else feels the same. This is in spite of the fact that I have been flaked on countless times in the past decade.

 

[johnrambo]

Giving them a taste of their own medicine so to speak huh?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Giving them a taste of their own medicine so to speak huh?

Yes I suppose but I'm not doing it for "revenge" ; I firmly believe that the best revenge is to be unlike your enemy.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

no.

 

[NealIRC]

It's always fun to sit next to a hot girl on a bus, then some 15 mins later, if you get off before her, tap her on the leg, smile, and say byeeeee. So make her feel bad for not having a convo with you. And other such things men have posted the other way around has happened.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's always fun to sit next to a hot girl on a bus, then some 15 mins later, if you get off before her, tap her on the leg, smile, and say byeeeee. So make her feel bad for not having a convo with you. And other such things men have posted the other way around has happened.

? Punish her for not talking to you? Why would you expect her to initiate...

 

[johnrambo]

Yes I suppose but I'm not doing it for "revenge" ; I firmly believe that the best revenge is to be unlike your enemy.

I personally don't ghost or flake. I had fun when a girl flaked on me twice. The first time was a funeral. I accepted the re-scheduling. The 2nd time was grandma in the hospital. I just told her, don't re-schedule. With old people, you never know. Better to stand by to prepare a funeral LOL. I never contacted her again. She was damn hot...so sad.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I write them a brief explanation; it sucks to be left hanging. I've had some replies with a version of "Holy sh*t, it sucks to be dumped but you were gracious about it and answered all my questions with your note. I've learned something. Thanks."

Take the high road, its never the wrong thing to do.

Ghosting is for chumps who don't want to face the outcome of what they participated in.

Are you a manlet or a Man that owns his actions?

 

[NealIRC]

? Punish her for not talking to you? Why would you expect her to initiate...

I don't expect her to initiate. But it's to make it feel like it's her loss. Or maybe, it will brighten her day too..

 

[CornbreadFed]

Absolutely Yes. They won't hesitate to do it to you for pettier reasons.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Absolutely Yes. They won't hesitate to do it to you for pettier reasons.

just because somebody does something that’s messed up doesn’t mean you need to retaliate. Noblesse oblige.

 

[CornbreadFed]

just because somebody does something that’s messed up doesn’t mean you need to retaliate. Noblesse oblige.

If I ghost a woman, she's either not ready to date from my perspective or I can confidently project that she does not see me as her top option. Women that ghost men on first dates are the most vulnerable to psychopaths because they literally know how to put up a show for them.

 

[RobbyDog]

I write them a brief explanation; it sucks to be left hanging. I've had some replies with a version of "Holy sh*t, it sucks to be dumped but you were gracious about it and answered all my questions with your note. I've learned something. Thanks."

Take the high road, its never the wrong thing to do.

Ghosting is for chumps who don't want to face the outcome of what they participated in.

Are you a manlet or a Man that owns his actions?

Do you make up a bull**** story about it or try to tell the truth? I agree that it’s ideal to reject someone graciously but I never know what to say. It’s hard to tell a woman that you’re really not attracted to her for example.
Honestly having to reject someone is the part of dating I dislike the most.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I just refuse to be petty little shyte. I have principles I live by like “act with integrity in all situations”.

If I ghost a woman, she's either not ready to date from my perspective or I can confidently project that she does not see me as her top option. Women that ghost men on first dates are the most vulnerable to psychopaths because they literally know how to put up a show for them.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I am a truth teller. I want people to do better, the best way is to give them a chance to improve themselves. They can’t improve if they don’t know how they went wrong. So without deep diving I reiterate and reinforce what they’ve heard from me more than once.

In difficult discussions avoid saying “you did X”, build your sentences without direct reference to them, they already know it’s about their behavior.

Do you make up a bull**** story about it or try to tell the truth? I agree that it’s ideal to reject someone graciously but I never know what to say. It’s hard to tell a woman that you’re really not attracted to her for example.
Honestly having to reject someone is the part of dating I dislike the most.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I just refuse to be petty little shyte. I have principles I live by like “act with integrity in all situations”.

Do you interact with a lot of Gen Z women? I had principles too until I started interacting with them lol.

 

[Alvafe]

normally too busy to even notice, but i'm pretty used to not care about text calls and so on, normally if they can't find me in person i'm too busy

 

[Serenity]

Ghosting is for chumps who don't want to face the outcome of what they participated in.

As a general solution, yes it's for chumps. There is one situation where ghosting is reasonable though, that's when she's crazy, can't be reasoned with and ignores all reasonable attempts at dumping her.

So to answer OP, I don't ghost unless I feel justified in doing so for lack of a better way to end things because she restricts those options. You absolutely are a d!ckhead if you ghost women who have done nothing to deserve it, just because you're not man enough to be honest.

 

[FlirtLife]

This is years ago, but I'd tell women on Tinder when I was not interested. I wouldn't say it that directly - I came up with a phrase that works for me. And since dozens of women have seen that from me, I'd rather not dox myself by repeating it here.

There's no need to make it about them - make it about what you want, what you think, what you feel. Are they going to tell you you're wrong about your own thoughts and feelings? I think it's easier to end things clearly than to leave it ambiguous.

Out of ~100 times, I only once ghosted - I was overwhelmed. A first date had seemed a bit chaotic owing to her work obligations, and I decided to try a second date with a bit more time and relaxed atmosphere. That worked a little too well, as she described things I view as red flags that might be better suited to therapy than an early date. I was overwhelmed... my usual parting message didn't fit, but I couldn't take in all the stuff he brought up. And I was also confident there was more - another bombshell. I'm not proud I ghosted her, as I would rather have said that I was feeling overwhelmed. Then maybe later said I'm still overwhelmed, and this is a bit too much for me.

But that's literally 1%, while for 99% of cases its just a simple text message (or more if you've had more dates). Just come up with something that is about you, and not your date, and use that.

 

[Solomon]

I have done it before and honestly loath it when women do it to me
I usually sent a text though to end things
But in 2023 you can sleep with a woman and never hear from her again that's happened a lot to me