Communication is the new buzzword of 2023

[Robert28]

Men, don’t fall for this crap. Women everywhere complaining now “men need to learn how to communicate”. No. We don’t. Men communicate directly and women communicate indirectly, it would be a waste of time to even try. The reason I bring this up is I was seeing this girl for awhile and she brought up relationship talk. Problem is on our last date she let something huge slip, a major dealbreaker for me. She’s still got her ex fiancés engagement ring whom she was engaged to 5 years ago. Relationship ended badly according to her and yet she’s still holding on to the ring after all this time? Sounds like she’s holding on to something. I kept my cool and didn’t panic, I didn’t say a word. I just knew I was done with this that very moment and no matter of me “talking it out” or “communicating” was going to solve anything. There was no room in her heart for me with the memory of another man living there, it was obvious. I was supposed to meet her two days later and I communicated very directly, sent her a text saying “I think I’m gonna pass on our date.” That was that. Blocked her number and deleted her from my life for good. Maybe she knows why I cancelled, maybe she doesn’t have a clue, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to have some long drawn out conversation, you don’t even need to communicate in the moment, so don’t let this new buzzword throw you off your game.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Most men communicate just fine but they are simply ignored if she isn't interested

When women say stuff like this what they mean is the man she's interested in needs to learn how to communicate better because her hamster is annoyed he isn't playing the game the way she wants him too

 

[RangerMIke]

When women say men need to learn to communicate.... what they mean is that men need to understand HOW women communicate.

Doing this is not a waste of time. How do women communicate? Most of her communication is non-verbal. Learning body language and mannerism is one of the most important things a man can learn. They open up slowly... and don't share too much up front. What is she wearing? If she is wearing something you don't like... she is sending you a message. If she is wearing your favorite color... she is sending you a message.

Most women know how to communicate with men... we are actually pretty easy... trust me... the girl the OP was seeing has a pretty good idea why he isn't calling her anymore. Women are incredibly intuitive. They know what you like and what you don't like... they do this by letting you know a little bit about them at a time.... the reason they do this is it makes it easier for them to figure out why you pulled away.
Men... well... we tend to toss everything on the table up front... all the negatives/positives.... all fvcking mixed together. It's too much for a woman to process... and she shuts down. She wants you to open up slowly, so she can talk to her friends about what you did... so they can dissect you bit by bit. I do the same... when a woman drifts off, I pretty much know exactly why she bolted because they learn about me a little bit at a time. Example: Recently I was seeing a woman and on one of our dates asked me how old I was, I naturally told her the truth and after that started having a hard time getting her out. So I learned that was screening criteria for her, didn't like the idea of dating a man headed towards 60... it's fine... I got the message and I'm moving on.

Men just don't get the un-spoken message... that is what women complain about with men communicating with them. Understand what she is REALLY saying by what she is doing. If you have female friends, they will tell you things like "I was dating this guy and he just isn't getting the message." Telling her to be direct is not something women are comfortable with because there are too many men that do not take rejection well. They do this with their female friends as well... I'll be with a woman and we run into a female friend of hers.... they will hug and chat... all very friendly, ending with a promise to do lunch or drinks... then when she walks off will start talking 'sh1t' about her. Pay attention to how they interact with their 'friends' if you REALLY open your eyes and watch the body language it becomes very apparent they fvcking hate each other. Can I teach you this.... nope... I can't it's all just a gut feeling... it's tapping into the subconscious.

 

[SW15]

Men, don’t fall for this crap. Women everywhere complaining now “men need to learn how to communicate”. No. We don’t. Men communicate directly and women communicate indirectly, it would be a waste of time to even try.

Communication is not a new buzzword. This was being talked about 20 years ago when both of us were in college.

The reason I bring this up is I was seeing this girl for awhile and she brought up relationship talk. Problem is on our last date she let something huge slip, a major dealbreaker for me. She’s still got her ex fiancés engagement ring whom she was engaged to 5 years ago. Relationship ended badly according to her and yet she’s still holding on to the ring after all this time? Sounds like she’s holding on to something. I kept my cool and didn’t panic, I didn’t say a word. I just knew I was done with this that very moment and no matter of me “talking it out” or “communicating” was going to solve anything. There was no room in her heart for me with the memory of another man living there, it was obvious. I was supposed to meet her two days later and I communicated very directly, sent her a text saying “I think I’m gonna pass on our date.” That was that. Blocked her number and deleted her from my life for good. Maybe she knows why I cancelled, maybe she doesn’t have a clue, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to have some long drawn out conversation, you don’t even need to communicate in the moment, so don’t let this new buzzword throw you off your game.

There is no reason for her to have that ring 5 years later. She should have given it back to the man or sold it/pawned it at least 4.5 years ago.

 

[Robert28]

Communication is not a new buzzword. This was being talked about 20 years ago when both of us were in college.



There is no reason for her to have that ring 5 years later. She should have given it back to the man or sold it/pawned at least 4.5 years ago.

It didn’t hit me in the moment until the next day when I was like “wait did she tell me she’s still got her engagement ring from 5 years ago? From the guy she said was so horrible to her? Yeah, run!” She probably thinks I turned down our planned date for another reason but that was THE reason. No reason to go in any long drawn out conversation going nowhere though. I knew what it meant.

 

[SW15]

It didn’t hit me in the moment until the next day when I was like “wait did she tell me she’s still got her engagement ring from 5 years ago? From the guy she said was so horrible to her? Yeah, run!” She probably thinks I turned down our planned date for another reason but that was THE reason. No reason to go in any long drawn out conversation going nowhere though. I knew what it meant.

Was she hot and DTF?

Even still, I can identify with why you did what did.

 

[Robert28]

Was she hot and DTF?

Even still, I can identify with why you did what did.

She was decent. I don’t think she was dtf, at least me anyways. I felt more like a “safe option” to her because she made the comment a couple times “you’re the most healthy guy I’ve dated”. And she didn’t mean workout wise lol

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Yeah, this "communication" meme has been big for a while now, even the simps on places like Reddit say it, almost like it's a tick.

I made a topic on this a while back, I happen to think @bcude nailed it with this response: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...unication-is-so-important.278315/post-3034515 , but there are a lot of good discussions in there.

 

[Luni]

When women say men need to learn to communicate.... what they mean is that men need to understand HOW women communicate.

Doing this is not a waste of time. How do women communicate? Most of her communication is non-verbal. Learning body language and mannerism is one of the most important things a man can learn. They open up slowly... and don't share too much up front. What is she wearing? If she is wearing something you don't like... she is sending you a message. If she is wearing your favorite color... she is sending you a message.

Most women know how to communicate with men... we are actually pretty easy... trust me... the girl the OP was seeing has a pretty good idea why he isn't calling her anymore. Women are incredibly intuitive. They know what you like and what you don't like... they do this by letting you know a little bit about them at a time.... the reason they do this is it makes it easier for them to figure out why you pulled away.
Men... well... we tend to toss everything on the table up front... all the negatives/positives.... all fvcking mixed together. It's too much for a woman to process... and she shuts down. She wants you to open up slowly, so she can talk to her friends about what you did... so they can dissect you bit by bit. I do the same... when a woman drifts off, I pretty much know exactly why she bolted because they learn about me a little bit at a time. Example: Recently I was seeing a woman and on one of our dates asked me how old I was, I naturally told her the truth and after that started having a hard time getting her out. So I learned that was screening criteria for her, didn't like the idea of dating a man headed towards 60... it's fine... I got the message and I'm moving on.

Men just don't get the un-spoken message... that is what women complain about with men communicating with them. Understand what she is REALLY saying by what she is doing. If you have female friends, they will tell you things like "I was dating this guy and he just isn't getting the message." Telling her to be direct is not something women are comfortable with because there are too many men that do not take rejection well. They do this with their female friends as well... I'll be with a woman and we run into a female friend of hers.... they will hug and chat... all very friendly, ending with a promise to do lunch or drinks... then when she walks off will start talking 'sh1t' about her. Pay attention to how they interact with their 'friends' if you REALLY open your eyes and watch the body language it becomes very apparent they fvcking hate each other. Can I teach you this.... nope... I can't it's all just a gut feeling... it's tapping into the subconscious.

so lovely. truly is a superpower when you "just get it"

 

[The Duke]

I'd of handled this situation differently. I'm not threatened by the fact some girl still has her ex's ring as long as she isn't wearing it or looking at it. I'd of asked questions about why she still had it. How do you know the assumptions you made were correct if you didn't even ask? What prompted her to mention this?

Seek to understand, then judge. You can't have successful relationships making assumptions and walking away when you don't like something. The uncomfortable things need communicated.

I still have my wedding ring from years ago. It doesn't mean schitt to me. I never think about it. I certainly don't want to get remarried to my exwife. What if this girl felt the same way?

Have you been married before? Those rings really don't mean schitt. More about impressing her friends than a union between a man and woman.

 

[kavi]

You dont 'communicate' with women. The communication is just personality ie Game. Woman say they want 'communication' just means they need Game. Game is how women communicate, which is indirectly. In the same communication with women is always about Game.

For example a guy can say to a women 'I am the best guy you can be with, I can make you happy, I am alpha' but him just saying that is not gonna make it happen, it has to be manifested rather than spoken. With women, it is abuot what is unspoken, communication is rarely about talking, it is about feelings.

Women themselves NEVER communicate, they are the worst, all they do is run game, everything is indirect, manipulative, playing etc. So when women talk about communication it is just about a connection coming from feelings.

 

[Robert28]

I'd of handled this situation differently. I'm not threatened by the fact some girl still has her ex's ring as long as she isn't wearing it or looking at it. I'd of asked questions about why she still had it. How do you know the assumptions you made were correct if you didn't even ask? What prompted her to mention this?

Seek to understand, then judge. You can't have successful relationships making assumptions and walking away when you don't like something. The uncomfortable things need communicated.

I still have my wedding ring from years ago. It doesn't mean schitt to me. I never think about it. I certainly don't want to get remarried to my exwife. What if this girl felt the same way?

Have you been married before? Those rings really don't mean schitt. More about impressing her friends than a union between a man and woman.

Well I can’t exactly remember how it came up to be honest. I just found it super weird she still held on to it, especially after she told me she had some hard financial times over the past few years and I was thinking “why didn’t you pawn it or sell it?”

 

[Dr.Suave]

Op dodged a bullet

 

[Luni]

You dont 'communicate' with women. The communication is just personality ie Game. Woman say they want 'communication' just means they need Game. Game is how women communicate, which is indirectly. In the same communication with women is always about Game.

For example a guy can say to a women 'I am the best guy you can be with, I can make you happy, I am alpha' but him just saying that is not gonna make it happen, it has to be manifested rather than spoken. With women, it is abuot what is unspoken, communication is rarely about talking, it is about feelings.

Women themselves NEVER communicate, they are the worst, all they do is run game, everything is indirect, manipulative, playing etc. So when women talk about communication it is just about a connection coming from feelings.

sharpshooter take

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

I'd of handled this situation differently. I'm not threatened by the fact some girl still has her ex's ring as long as she isn't wearing it or looking at it. I'd of asked questions about why she still had it. How do you know the assumptions you made were correct if you didn't even ask? What prompted her to mention this?

Seek to understand, then judge. You can't have successful relationships making assumptions and walking away when you don't like something. The uncomfortable things need communicated.

I still have my wedding ring from years ago. It doesn't mean schitt to me. I never think about it. I certainly don't want to get remarried to my exwife. What if this girl felt the same way?

Have you been married before? Those rings really don't mean schitt. More about impressing her friends than a union between a man and woman.

Yeah, more context is needed. Sounded like a super insecure move to me. Probably just a sh t test

 

[BadBoy89]

A man should only communicate enough until he can have sex with the woman. Once he has slept with her, he should not talk or disclose more about himself than he did before he slept with her.

For a woman, ”communicate more“ means “tell me about your vulnerabilities, your bank accounts, your assets, in case I want out and need to use them against you in the court of law.”

Women hate dealing in definitives. They can’t say “I broke up with him because he didn’t make $250,000 / year, or he wasn’t 6’1, or he didn’t buy me $80,000 car.” Those are quantifiable things. Women hate that. So they say “Broke up because of communication issues.“. It’s open to interpretation.

Come on men.

 

[Robert28]

Yeah, more context is needed. Sounded like a super insecure move to me. Probably just a sh t test

No. Insecure would be “oh that’s no big deal, let’s go out again sometime.” I’m not hanging around any broad that’s still hubgup on an ex from 5 years ago.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

No. Insecure would be “oh that’s no big deal, let’s go out again sometime.” I’m not hanging around any broad that’s still hubgup on an ex from 5 years ago.

Whenever women say stuff like that, sh t tests are imbedded in it. I don't know what she said and the context.

I've begun conversations with women talking about how much they like their ex etc. And then you just don't care and talk about it and leverage yourself. Just because she likes him more right now doesn't mean she will tomorrow.

Communication is key. And being willing to learn it and become better at it then women is a must. Blocking her and all that was pretty extreme I think

 

[Mike32ct]

Agree with OP. It’s just another red herring.

1993 - “He’s too nice.”

2023 - “He needs to work on his communication skills.”

 

[The Duke]

Agree with OP. It’s just another red herring.

1993 - “He’s too nice.”

2023 - “He needs to work on his communication skills.”

Women are always trendy about these things. Like a bunch of sheep. "Flirt to Roast" ratio is the latest trend they are all using along with "communication".