(Potential weak)Core personal characteristics vs needed characteristics for game

Scaramouche

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Hi Luni,
"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me."....So did Walter Mitty.
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Luni,
Seems you are still a paid up member of the Deadly Serious Club,good for you, sadly I am behind with my subscriptions so do allow myself a little Levity....There is something in believing yourself into a role in dating as in acting,were the World a big Stage then it might work...For a while...Just how long can you maintain this for without the mask slipping?...From your Picture you have chosen Jack Johnstone as a role model,should you live in one of the less gentrified areas of your fair City and chose to act this role out,then it is to be hoped your Health Cover is as up to Date as your other Subscriptions (Smile).
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Corrector,
Not sure about the BBC show Gamisch talks of...But as I once allocated Berths for visiting US Navy Sailers I can assure you that the Women offering accommodation just about all wanted Afro-American Officers,they are still "Flavour of the Month" down here,because like Italians they have the repution of being great Lovers!
 
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Luni

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Hi Luni,
Seems you are still a paid up member of the Deadly Serious Club,good for you, sadly I am behind with my subscriptions so do allow myself a little Levity....There is something in believing yourself into a role in dating as in acting,were the World a big Stage then it might work...For a while...Just how long can you maintain this for without the mask slipping?...From your Picture you have chosen Jack Johnstone as a role model,should you live in one of the less gentrified areas of your fair City and chose to act this role out,then it is to be hoped your Health Cover is as up to Date as your other Subscriptions (Smile).
we salute you for your service
 

Gamisch

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Hi Corrector,
Not sure about the BBC show Gamisch talks of...But as I once allocated Berths for visiting US Navy Sailers I can assure you that the Women offering accommodation just about all wanted Afro-American Officers,they are still "Flavour of the Month" down here,because like Italians they have the repution of being great Lovers!
In this case ex on the beach. Another reason why feckboys are so popular: every damn show out there shows women dealing with " azzholes" who they'll eventually sleep with.

Every dude is ripped and outgoing. And women love these types of shows.
 

IamtheAlphamale

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I was wondering how we separate our core personal qualities vs the game that's needed when dealing with women.

There are all kinds of characteristics that can work against a man when it comes to game. Lets say you describe yourself as " warm" or "caring ". These might sound like good traits, but under certain circumstances they might work against you. More obvious examples are "being emotional " or " being (too) talkative " .

On the other hand, some of these qualities might actually work in your favor but due to following and presenting a certain image these characteristics get buried under a layer of "cliche default behaviour and characteristics " that a man picked up along his journey in the manosphere.

There's a thread going on about how the manosphere can be harmful, and I understand that statement from the POV that too much red pill theory without actual practical application numbs a man and turns him into a bland robotic person around women.

Perhaps some men would rather benefit from "being themselves "? Or is a "made up character " strictly aimed at holding a certain frame always better?

So the main question is; how do you maintain your own identity while yet applying game around women?
You can just do online hypnosis. But you have to do it everyday. Msg me if you need tips
 

corrector

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Hi Corrector,
Not sure about the BBC show Gamisch talks of...But as I once allocated Berths for visiting US Navy Sailers I can assure you that the Women offering accommodation just about all wanted Afro-American Officers,they are still "Flavour of the Month" down here,because like Italians they have the repution of being great Lovers!
Again, there are positive stereotypes associated with blackness that make it hard on a guy that can't live up to this if that is what a woman is looking for. If you don't have a BBC, are a nerd and like sci-fi and other "white" interests then you are bascially in trouble since you can't even get that niche market and end up in incel territory.

I wonder if others, like @Gamisch feels pressure to conform to "positive" stereotypes. If it's in you to be like that then it's easy. But if it's foreign then it's a real uphill battle.
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Corrector,
I hate to correct you but I doubt these Aussie Women were into "Black Men" Per Se,rather "Afro Americans"probably because of urban myths about the size of their appendages,also maybe their prowess in the fields of Athletics and Music?We have plenty of our own home grown Folk,who are far from popular....Once I wondered into a South African Hotel Kitchen,to see half a dozen coloured Maids all washing dishes while swaying to a catchy Folk Tune,moving as one,they were like India Rubber,Magic!
 
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Gamisch

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Again, there are positive stereotypes associated with blackness that make it hard on a guy that can't live up to this if that is what a woman is looking for. If you don't have a BBC, are a nerd and like sci-fi and other "white" interests then you are bascially in trouble since you can't even get that niche market and end up in incel territory.

I wonder if others, like @Gamisch feels pressure to conform to "positive" stereotypes. If it's in you to be like that then it's easy. But if it's foreign then it's a real uphill battle.
It depends. The choice for me to pretend and benefit from the stereotype is always there. But. I've learned that overtime it's tiring tho..also ,you'll be fighting an uphill battle because the women you get are "easy come easy go" . One crack in your frame is a death sentence.

You are right about the nerdy hobbies being deadly for in this case a black man's frame, but if you think about it that goes for most races . E.g ,with such a frame "enjoying" a romantic movie is a no go. Listening to certain music ia a no go( remember the famous scene from White chicks where the protagonist sings that sweet popsong? The fact that a black man sings a pop song is funny by default .

Hi Corrector,
I hate to correct you but I doubt these Aussie Women were into "Black Men" Per Se,rather "Afro Americans"probably because of urban myths about the size of their appendages,also maybe their prowess in the fields of Athletics and Music?We have plenty of our own home grown Folk,who are far from popular....Once I wondered into a South African Hotel Kitchen,to see half a dozen coloured Maids all washing dishes while swaying to a catchy Folk Tune,moving as one,they were like India Rubber,Magic!
Its not about literally D size, but rather about "big D energy ". How you carry yourself ect.
 

Gamisch

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downloaded, thanks
During my boxing career I was taught to train for 150 % , because on matchday due to nerves, bad sleep and anxiety you'll lose half of your (lung) capacity.

Learning pimp game seems like a stretch, but eventually,in the presence of a hot woman you might just "remember " a little bit. You won't become a pimp suddenly ,but it MIGHT give you an edge or two ,and that might improve your interactions with women.
 

Gamisch

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One really important thing about dealing with women that I realize.

I made this thread wondering to what degree it's " allowed " to be ourselves around women. Perhaps I worded it wrong, and @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz comment in the thread about the break up made me realize this.

When we meet a woman we obviously try to seduce her. Our posture, voice ,look ect our entire AURA is nothing but seduction. THIS is how we lure her in!

When she gets close we will let our guard down. The first "major event " when this will happen is most likely after sex, during pillow talk. This is when a man tends to show his first signs of weakness.

Gradually we will loosen up more and more and before you know it you are complaining seven days a week about work, friends and family. Now, remember this? ;

"When we meet a woman we obviously try to seduce her. Our posture, voice ,look ect our entire AURA is nothing but seduction. "

Where did the seduction go? The gamer, the player ,the smooth don juan?

Despite WE as men making this change of characters , yet we tend to be dumbfounded when after literally sometimes YEARS of showing this behaviour, how come she starts " acting weird".
___________________________________________
So, while you are now completely" yourself" all the time, in her every day life she keeps meeting men who'll do EXACTLY what you did when you met her; I'll repeat again:

When we meet a woman we obviously try to seduce her. Our posture, voice ,look ect our entire AURA is nothing but seduction.

She get seduced by every man EXCEPT you!!!!
 
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Gamisch

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One really important thing about dealing with women that I realize.

I made this thread wondering to what degree it's " allowed " to be ourselves around women. Perhaps I worded it wrong, and @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz comment made me realize this.

When we meet a woman we obviously try to seduce her. Our posture, voice ,look ect our entire AURA is nothing but seduction. THIS is how we lure her in!

When she gets close we will let our guard down. The first "major event " when this will happen is most likely after sex, during pillow talk. This is when a man tends to show his first signs of weakness.

Gradually we will loosen up more and more and before you know it you are complaining seven days a week about work, friends and family. Now, remember this? ;

"When we meet a woman we obviously try to seduce her. Our posture, voice ,look ect our entire AURA is nothing but seduction. "

Where did the seduction go? The gamer, the player ,the smooth don juan?

Despite WE as men making this change of characters , yet we tend to be dumbfounded when after literally sometimes YEARS of showing this behaviour, how come she starts " acting weird".
___________________________________________
So, while you are now completely" yourself" all the time, in her every day life she keeps meeting men who'll do EXACTLY what you did when you met her; I'll repeat again:

When we meet a woman we obviously try to seduce her. Our posture, voice ,look ect our entire AURA is nothing but seduction.

She get seduced by every man EXCEPT you!!!!
Now, from this pov regaining power seems easy; you "just" gotta get in your seductive frame again!

"No more mr nice guy "type of vibe , but rather ****y, like a boss and perhaps even like a azzhole. Watch how she suddenly starts acting all submissive again.

Because that's simply how women work. So to answer my own question so far: no you can't EVER lose whatever frame you KNEW would work on this specific woman.

Another HUGE solution is to completely become one with a new frame. Might take some deeper work,like working on posture in the mirror ect .
 

Gamisch

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I don't remember writing that quote, but I did write something similar, it has happened to all of us. I think letting the guard down to the wrong woman is the mistake, and I think whenever you see signals of lost of interest you act.
I am sorry, i edited the post and ,perhaps should make a better reference to what I mean.

In the "so I broke up with her " thread you said this:

Why did she do that? What did you do or didn't do for her attraction to fade away and do that?

I'm sure in the beginning you were the alpha dude that she couldn't take her hands away from you. It takes a lot of reflection to see what we did wrong in order for that to happen. Women don't break with guys they're in love with.


This made me realize that ofcourse the end phase(like the frustrated break up) is directly related to my question.
 

Millard Fillmore

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"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me."
Quoted for truth. It sounds weird at first but it's spot on.

@Gamisch I started a similar thread recently about how I was unsure if my energy was off because I wasn't always 100% Mr. Charisma in all social situations. Got some great advice here. As always it's a mix of being true to yourself but putting in the work to improve.

They say if you make behavioral changes ("pretend" to be something like you're not) your brain will observe these changes and eventually accept that that's how you are. Example, if you want to have better diction and practice it every day, after a few weeks you will become a person with great diction. Or if a guy is bad with women but wants to be known as a flirt then he pushes himself to flirt more. Etc. This doesn't mean you're being anyone but yourself, just a new improved version.

People often do this in new environments when nobody knew their previous self, like at college. But it can happen anywhere. Anyone who gives you sh*t about it can sod off.
 

Gamisch

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Quoted for truth. It sounds weird at first but it's spot on.

@Gamisch I started a similar thread recently about how I was unsure if my energy was off because I wasn't always 100% Mr. Charisma in all social situations. Got some great advice here. As always it's a mix of being true to yourself but putting in the work to improve.

They say if you make behavioral changes ("pretend" to be something like you're not) your brain will observe these changes and eventually accept that that's how you are. Example, if you want to have better diction and practice it every day, after a few weeks you will become a person with great diction. Or if a guy is bad with women but wants to be known as a flirt then he pushes himself to flirt more. Etc. This doesn't mean you're being anyone but yourself, just a new improved version.

People often do this in new environments when nobody knew their previous self, like at college. But it can happen anywhere. Anyone who gives you sh*t about it can sod off.
This.

Every man has his own perception of how he should seduce a woman, and how he thinks he should maintain the attraction. This is ALWAYS tied to a certain character.

At some point a man must realize that whatever character he picked out, is NOT working. Perhaps you'll notice this at the beginning of your intent to seduce ( lack of ioi, lack of results ect), or later down the road ( @SW15 's dreaded "1 date no sex, no second date) or even due to getting dumped as the relationship progresses. It's stupid to keep doing what you did and expect a different result.

Women by the way have MANY archetypes to choose from. They are better at presenting us with a " stereotype hot woman" . Will she be unique? Not necessarily. But she WILL trigger your D.

Men are too much stuck in whatever role they've played since I geuss highschool. A 35 y.o man might still feel like he is "not cool " because some women told him so 20 years ago.

All it takes is reframing your self image. Might take some actual work, like practicing in front of the mirror, reading tons of stuff, failing multiple times ect.

Once you find out the floodgates will open.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

You need to have actual character. Not poser character. Now. It is well known that ‘fake it til you make it’ works, and here is why:

As you think so shall you become. Actions can retrain thinking just as thinking can retrain actions, you see even if you adjust your thinking, it takes actions to affirm for your stubborn subconscious mind, that the thinking is valid. Repeat until the new belief solidifies

If you start off with actions (and get the results due to the way you act) that is going to readjust your thinking. It’s a matter of starting pov. The result is the same. Actions matter.

The traits you want are outcome independence, amused mastery and genuine self assuredness. Those will help you in life and in game.
 
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