Umm, there's nothing about this paragraph that should feel 'normal'.
I'm glad that the two girls you paid to see your d*ck, saw your d*ck?
Two things to clarify.
(I am writing this on my smartphone on a parking lot next to an incall)
First normal means in a sense of being no PTSD happened as a result of sharing d1ck picks. There is no difference of feeling. That means normal. If I had a panic attack and had to go to emergency because another lady I do not know saw my d1ck pick then I think there would be issues. The second lady who saw it works as an escort. Meaning an interaction where an escort saw my d1ck pick also did not lead to a panic attack.
The second lady who saw my d1ck pick did not charge me for the rating but I told her thank you. She was an escort but I shared some personal info about myself to her over OF, including the fact I had a nervous breakdown after an escort 9 years ago. She asked me what I did, and explained it to her.
I would not have the confidence to share my d1ck pick with the second lady if I never paid.for the first.lady to rate it.
It does not matter if you pay or do not pay if there is female contact or attention with me. Women have rejected guys even if they could pay so at least its not that bad. OF is virtually rejection proof as a woman cant see your face and base her treatment of you on how you look. All she has to know is how my d1ck looks and her treatment of me is just based on that because its the only thing that should matter anyway.